Denise Welch

Denise Welch.
Who dat? You ask. Fuck knows, but see below:

-Actress Denise Welch has been praised after sharing her experience of the “unwelcome visitor” of depression.

The Loose Women panellist posted a series of videos on Twitter, in an attempt to explain depression “to those who are fortunate enough not to suffer”.

“As someone who professes to be a mental health advocate I have to share the bad times with you,” she said.-

I presume her career isn’t going so well, although I am fucked if I know what that was. She has therefore come out as a victim, sharing her pain for the common good.

Expect her to pop up on Hollyoaks or whatever in the near future. I shouldn’t think she will get the gig as ‘Lady Macbeth’ at the National though.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

70 thoughts on “Denise Welch

  1. This cunt!!
    She should depressed!
    What a old spunkbucket!
    The native American indians used to slit the nose of a squaw who was too fond of the braves,
    Denise step forward…

    • I’m working my way through Auf wiedersehen pet for the 40th time (fucking love it). She was Tim Jealous Mrs and appeared in one episode. Fucking terrible actress. Sorry if anyone has said this lower down. I just reacted quickly. And being a remainder it’s my divine right to put my point across quickly and not listen to any fucker else.
      Nazi scum off our streets.

  2. Jesus Harry H. Corbett Christ.

    I genuinely managed to banish this horrific old trout into the nether reaches of my conscious until today. This appalling old lush, afflicted with incontinence of both the emotional and the Tena lady variety, is and always has been desperate for public attention, ever since her brief, forgettable stint on Coronation Street.

    Playing up the outspoken, homely Geordie cunt good-time slag with an ‘affecting’ regional accent, this abomination drags her grotesquely distended and well-used genitals avec wheelbarrow from one trash TV show t’next – including the appropriately titled Loose Women and any celebrity reality tripe going, just for that aforementioned craved attention.

    Going back to this phenomenon of ’emotional incontinence’ – coined by the great Paul Joseph Watson – it is these days cool to be mentally ill. It is cool to be upset over any thing and everything. It is cool to constantly put your feelings out on display for digital back-pats, online sympathy and all kinds of other validating, meaningless platitudes from anonymous people which you don’t know and never will know.

    The fame-hungry celebrity (almost exclusively female) will reveal at an appropriate career juncture that they have always been abused, always been molested, always been depressed, always used by the opposite sex and always been lightly addicted to something not too disgusting or too vorboten. In other words, the modern, fame-hungry celebrity has a self-pitying excuse for just about every instance of where they should have taken personal responsibility by blaming someone or something else – in this case, uber-cunt Denise Welch implying her struggles with ‘depression’ are why she is so frequently an unpalatable and vomit-inducing cunt.

    No wonder we see behaviour mimicked by the accursed millenial generation – the denizens of similarly affected celebrities and their copycat ’emotional struggles’ are today’s modern inspirational template for the masses – not talent, not skill, not achievement but instead, modern-day self-indulgent victimhood.

    Funny isn’t it, how these women are only depressed, or supportive of ‘woke’ causes once their looks have faded so badly that they are macabre caricatures of their former glory (see also Angelina Jolie). It is well-known that when Denise Welch was married to Tim Healy (himself a cunt of course), she had more pricks on the side than a Glaswegian council-estate junkie – funny though how she never moaned about being ‘depressed’ or a victim then. Too busy drinking her own bodyweight in Newccy Brown and gobbling a random bloke behind the nightclub bins, no doubt.

    This rant could equally apply to any million of similar celebrity attention seekers. But Denise Welch is in the nomination crosshairs at this moment, thus she can take the 5.66mm cunt bullet for the lot of them.

    • To be honest, if you were the parent of one of the 1975 (a modern beat combo) I think you would have every right to be depressed. If she wants to stay i entertainment she should become an MP – one of Steptoe’s groupies – ugly and thick as pig shit is all you need to be.

    • You have obviously thought deeply about this, and it’s very depressing that you had to. There was some US cow on R4threich last week, plugging her new book on struggling with depression and how to be happy happy happy all the time*. The field is rather overcrowded with such cows. Chattering with the sympathetic wimminz presenter for far too long she managed to say absolutely nothing useful. But a cure for depression in the general population would seem to be pretty simple: stop broadcasting and promoting this sensitive shite. Oh, and confiscate all the phones so no cunt can tell you how depressed you or they are..

      • Talking about my g-g-g-generation. Which had better drugs than you get nowadays. But I sympathise. We were a bunch of cunts.

      • I suffer from depression, & have for over 15 years for reasons I won’t go into. I would not seek, expect or accept sympathy.

        People suffering from REAL depressive illness do NOT give interviews to newspapers & magazines or seek to promote their has-been showbiz carriers on shite, pointless daytime gossip shows – indeed most neither tell their family or seek help.

        This shit stain attention seeker is beyond my contempt.
        If we could eradicate the ‘cult’ of celebrity & social media, we would go back to a better world & appreciate what really matter in life.

    • I’m a big fan of PJW myself mate. I watch The Iconoclast as well. But I’m starting to move away from watching them because they will eventually be banned and it fucks me off alot. We can like the videos 5000000000, but the other side do not give one single fuck. Paz ex army is quite good.

  3. Never heard of the trollope. Sounds like a cunt though. No doubt she’s expecting lots of lucrative interviews and a best selling book about her depression.

    It’s the rest of us that should be depressed at the amount of cunts crawling out of the woodwork every day. Not a day passes without some new cunt manifesting like an unwelcome returning dose of the clap.

  4. Oh, and add to this rottencunt’s crimes the fact that the lead super-cunt Matthew Healy from shit pop band ‘The 1975’ was dropped from Denises very own echo-tastic and cavernous cunt.

  5. Ah the last bastion of a washed up actress/z-list cunt, the old “My battle with depression” card, guaranteed to get you column inches in the tabloid gutter press and a few appearance fees on The One Show etc.

    Washed up old slag, her claim to fame is she is/was a Loose Women, was once in Coronation Shite and she was married to Dennis from ‘Auf Wiedersehen, Pet’

    Jog on you crusty old slag, no one gives a fuck about your “demons” or “battles” – the only time I want to hear from you again is your fucking Obituary

    • Oh I read that.

      Rolo, Toffee Crisp, Twix, Mars Bar.

      But it turned out I was reading the A Bit Chewy column.

    • Denise Welch is rumoured to suck cock so deep that her appendix is referred to by medical practitioners as ‘the bell-end tea cosy’.

  6. For me she’s been placed in the skip with Katie cut Price and the fucking WAGs who are having a twatter war. Which BBC breakfast now considers news worthy by the way….cunts.

    I don’t give a fuck, depression is a serious thing and I don’t want to cunt anyone who suffers with it, i lived with someone who has severe depression and their mind was a dark horrible place to be around let alone live with 24/7 as they have to.

    However, there are degrees of depression and sometimes I think people buy into the mental health thing failing to understand there are people working shit jobs to pay for shit accommodation struggling to pay their bills with no sleb network to go there there darlink.

    Give it a break love, don’t piss on my shoes and tell me it’s raining.

    • Agreed, true depression is a serious issue, my sister had it for years, but these ‘celebs’ wheel it out anytime they are not in the limelight or getting paid or just mildly unhappy.
      My sister tried to OD on 48 ibuprofen and a litre of Vodka, not fucking post shit on Twitter for attention, luckily she survived but has to take so much medication to just keep her stable, not the odd Valium when she’s feeling down like these cunts in the media.

    • Now then, I fucked radio 2 off a while ago, so I moved to radio derby. All the fucking cunt replacement female dj was rattling on about this morning was that utter fucking bullshit about some thick cunt talking about another thick cunt saying thick cunt A has caught thick cunt B saying shit. So I smashed my car into an incoming Fiat 500.

  7. That rather quaint Americanism “cum dumpster” springs to mind for some unfathomable reason.

  8. This Tasha’s Mam type whore would bend over and display her extremely overused eau de mackerel gash in the middle of Trafalgar Square if it got her attention and publicity…

    To borrow from Kanye Cunt: Denise Welch is the biggest slag of all time… OF ALL TIME!

    And she was shite in Corrie and all… Worst Rovers landlady ever… Second only to gorblimey can’t act for toffee cunt, Michelle Collins…

    • Funny how you can look at some women and just know that their axe-wounds emit a putrid odour. Katie Price is another cunt whom I imagine could benefit from a lifetime supply of FemmeFresh.

  9. I remember her most from Soldier Soldier.

    I must confess I did like that program and thought she wore a pair of jeans well but that was back in the early 90’s when I’d pretty much wank over anything so probably best not to use that as a good guide to her appearance.

    • I know what you mean about wanking duing the 90’s. My teenage years were just one big fevered masturbatathon, and I’m fairly sure that I wanked over such anomalies as Anna Diamond, that scouse tomboy who won the first show of Gladiators and even Lily Savage.

      • I did have massive one for Susan Stranks… The tight T-Shirted siren of Magpie and Paperplay (Itsy and Bitsy)…. Her tits were phenomenal…

        Oh, and Kate Bush, Olivia Newton John, Lynda Carter, Suzi Q, and Chris Evert, obviously…

      • Both Kate Bush and Lynda Carter could live until they are 120 and I would still crack one out upon seeing them, based on how fit they were in their prime.

        Same goes for Catherine Deneuve – I saw Belle de Jour in my 20s and for the entire film, all I could think about was having a lengthy wank. Sadly I was watching in the company of others – Catherine mind you was so fucking gorgeous in that film though that I’m sure I would have been forgiven for busting one out right there, in the presence of my relatives and neighbours.

      • I definitely knocked one out over Anne Diamond, no shame in that Empire, she did a spot of underwear modelling, fuck I can still see it now in my minds eye.

        I often think it’s a good job I grew up when I did because if I was growing up now I’d be wanking on the school bus whilst glued to porn hub on my iPhone.

      • I was always an Anna Ford man when I was a laddie… And Vicki Michelle in Allo Allo… Fucking hell… Proper, she was…

      • For me it was always Felicity Kendall (The Good Life), Tessa Wyatt, Sally James (Tiswas); Lesley Judd (Blue Peter) and Susan George – Most of my teen years were spent going through wanksocks like there was no tomorrow! (No wonder my mother often asked where all my socks had gone!)

      • Ah the 80/90’s when a porn mag was rare and a VHS porn movie was the holy grail.

        I admit I spanked out way too much man muck to slags on TV back then.

        Felicity Kendall received a lot but I was always thinking about doing Margo up the bum, even back then before bum sex was mandatory in porn!

  10. Thing is, Welch was never even remotely sexy…. Corrie had some crackers in the old days like (early 70s) Bet, Lucile, Tricia and Suzie… Then later ones like Liz, Tanya, Raquel… The idea that Welch was supposed to be some desirable cougar who seduced the Hartlepool block of wood that was Des Barnes was comedy even funnier than the Duckworths in their pomp…. Now Des’s first wife, Steph… She was extremely doable…

    • Carla Conner and Michelle Keegan in a three way. I think I’d go off before I got my pants off….no worries though, I’ve got reserves.

  11. I doubt this cunt really knows what genuine depression is all about. To her its just a buzzword her agent probably suggested in order to attract some much needed publicity for her fading “career”

    I suspect 95% of the UK population have never heard of her, or just don’t give two fucks about her “mental breakdown”. The only people that do care are the news media and desperate publishers.

  12. Is this what a Rod Stewart drag act looks like?

    No wonder she has got depression, spending her afternoons surrounded by the coven of menopausal gobshite old bints that is Loose Wimmin.

  13. Only people who have been in a loony bin or on the street can claim to have anything wrong with their brain. Everyone else with ” mental health”, this ,that or the other are talking bollocks and don’t understand normal human emotions. They are in fact cunts with a headache.

    • I had to do my cscs test yesterday. I had 3 very odd questions. One was a cartoon drawing with a bag of drugs, beer cans, fag ends, food boxes and 2 hypodermic needles. ‘Which item is most likely to give you hepatitis A’. Another one.. if someone is depressed, tearful and lethargic what are they suffering from?. Next …’ What are signs that someone is suffering from a mental health disorder… fatigue, anxiety, lack of hunger’. Fuck me, I’m a bricklayer not a psychiatrist.

  14. Even though I saw Led Zeppelin play Brighton in 1972, and I’ve met Joe Montana, I have suffered chronic depression my whole life. And my son is bi-polar. It is a real cunt of a condition. You learn to manage it, some days are better than others. It’s a disability, but because it comes with insomnia, I have a very good reason for getting hammered every night on brandy.

      • PS: In case you think I’m being facetious, I too have suffered from depression since age 14, and probably before.

        I stopped drinking 12 years ago and can confirm it definitely made a difference. Had I continued I doubt I’d be here today.

      • Fuck, this site is getting more like Depressives Anonymous. Alright, I admit it, I had a really bad period of it. The only thing that shocked me out of it was the threat of frying my brain with electrodes.
        It worked. I’m too pissed scared to go back there again.

      • Famous people who had depression include Churchill, Lincoln, Van Gogh and Beethoven.
        Oh and don’t forget Franz Kafka – without him we would never have had the Mothers of Invention.
        So, if you’re going through it right now just remember “ from despair can come greatness.”

      • And for those who say you won’t find the answer at the bottom of a glass – all the more reason for keeping it filled up.

      • Optimist: The glass is half full
        Pessimist: The glass is half empty
        Engineer: The glass is twice the size it needs to be.

      • Komodo Quote :
        Optimist: The glass is half full
        Pessimist: The glass is half empty
        Engineer: The glass is twice the size it needs to be.

        Nearly right….

        Optimist: The glass is half full
        Pessimist: The glass is half empty
        Mechanical Engineer: The glass is twice the size it needs to be.
        Electrical Engineer: The glass is adequate
        Strucural Engineer: The glass is half the size it needs to be & we need 4 more of them

  15. I have no time for this old boiler.

    It seems everything she does is for attention. Running her mouth and talking bollocks on that ‘Loose Women’ pile of horse shit, getting pissed as a fart, stripping off and hauling her lard arse into the jacuzzi, inflicting her spaniel’s ears tits on the nation on ‘Celebrity Big Brother’, telling the world how she is now getting serviced by a toyboy and marrying him, tonguing him at every given moment in front of the paps, flaunting her latest weight loss ‘beach body’ in skimpy bikinis like the mutton dressed as lamb old bag that she is, and the list goes on and on…..

    But what I really despise is how she uses her mental health issues to big up her profile, like so many of these celebricunts.

    Now I am not going to cast aspersions as to whether she has experienced real depression. That is a cheap shot that many sufferers have to deal with from people who doubt their illness because they cannot see it, ergo it cannot really exist.

    Would you say that to a diabetic or a haemophiliac? Would you fuck.

    Highlighting mental health issues is a good thing, but not when it comes from a place that you just know is purely self-serving and has an agenda behind it that does not involve breaking stigmas.

    This is a subject close to home for me as I was diagnosed with clinical depression, generalised anxiety and panic disorder in 2003 and have wrestled with them on and off ever since, despite having been on meds and having had months of counselling. It contributed heavily to my resignation from nursing, so I think that any conversation about mental illness is a good thing……..but one cannot help being suspicious with these celebrities because their game is their career and their profile. As said already, they always seem to spew this drama out when their stars are fading or they are selling a fucking book.

    For most mental illness sufferers, their illness/conditions are a private thing which they choose to keep on the down low, either because they think it is nobody’s fucking business or because they are worried they’ll be doubted or viewed differently…….but somehow these celebricunts NEVER have that problem and the excuse is always how they are speaking out to do the world a public service, nothing more.


    P.S. Did I mention that i wholeheartedly agree with this nom and I too think that Denise ‘everyone’s loveable Geordie’ Welch is an epic cunt?

    • “For most mental illness sufferers, their illness/conditions are a private thing which they choose to keep on the down low, either because they think it is nobody’s fucking business or because they are worried they’ll be doubted or viewed differently…”

      I agree Nurse C. Sadly, because of the stigma that’s still attached to it, I fear that the loss of their job or livelihood is a common factor.

    • Agreed entirely. For slebs, it just seems that ANYTHING is fair game to keep them in the spotlight; gender ishoos, dry itchy cunt, Remain &c.

      I returned from Vienna some years back; I had come within about 36 hours and 50 Euros of buying a tank of nitrogen, a turkey bag, elastic, a few metres of plastic tubing and a pressure regulator.
      Then I did a very Viennese thing. I went off to a Heurige (wine garden), sat and got pissed and maudlin, listening to the locals singing their pretty miserable songs. Oddly, am not sure quite how, it made me turn the corner. Am not smug about it, it still lurks a little…
      My filthy, bizaree sense of humour helps enormously, as does / do all at ISAC. Especially in today’s massively fucked GB.
      If Admin would be kind enough to email my DIY tips to Ms Welch, she might find them useful.

  16. The header picture for this Nom is too flattering to her! Type ‘Denise Welsh towel on head depression’ into your search bar and you will see why she has depression!

  17. Wasn’t this old whorebag addressing some big meeting up north a few months ago? It was either remoaning or tree hugging, can’t remember. Either way it proves what a publicity hungry right on cunt she is.

  18. Yeah yeah ive had depression and anxiety but i took some pills and got on with it, knowing it was my primitive fight or flight parts of the brain being overworked, therefore just chemicals. As soon as i got my head around that i didnt worry about it. Too much of this sharing/therapy culture online. Sure there’s a place on support forums but blathering and weeping and posting videos on social media only invites faux-sympathy, virtue signalling and ridicule. It’s turning our society into soft wankers.

    • I went through a particularity bad spell after a rather long tour, There was no cuddle therapy, nor on line shite, although I admittedly do loose it every now and then.
      Anxiety and Depression massivly fucked me up, but I had a very good doctor and was in a position that I could be put into a vegetate state, A bit like Floyds comfortably Numb I was so doped up on Diazipan that there was no longer any outside stimulus.
      It was at that point that I could deal with the problems within myself, I was massively stressing out on the inability to control my surroundings, I felt scared as I could no longer defend myself and I saw threats in what were quite logical places, but illogical in a peacetime surrounding.
      I had to learn to calm down and not give a fuck, when I learnt to do that I stopped the meds completely (against medical advice) and I like to think I live a pretty normal life, I had one relapse some years ago but I was working 7am to 7pm non stop with a 2 hour commute 6 days a week.

      • I experienced a brief spell for about 2 months after the death of my wife. It was so weird . Nothing mattered or had any importance to me and I felt like nothing really existed beyond a ten foot circle around me.
        It’s a truly horrible place to be and took every last effort to break out of it. I did so much completely irrational shit and had virtually no comprehension of time. The first sign of recovery was a five minute window one day when I became aware of my surroundings again and that gradually increased daily. I’m back to being a cunt now , so all is good.

      • Are you going for the sharing is caring attack? I’m sorry for your trouble mate, but talk to your friends.

  19. The late Ian Curtis (RIP suffered terribly from depression… Now he was a proper artist and a good bloke and all… I only hope Welch follows his example and does the decent thing… She won’t though, because she is a lying opportunistic media whore bullshitting slagbag….

  20. Never suffered from depression but I know a few people who have and it’s destroyed their life’s.So on that note I will pass on commenting on Denise & her problems.

  21. Next it will be Rylan double barrel getting a cold sore and wanting to share it with us all – celebrities are all cunts

    • That freak is just fucking odd. One of those things that you tell your children to stay well clear of. But it’s on tv so hey, trust that fucking weird cunt.

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