Aisling Bea

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Aisling Bea is a cunt, isn’t she?

As Irish as the potato famine and the car-bomb, I nominate this whiny-voiced, vinegar-faced banshee who’s famous for….erm…well, being on tv panel shows. What she lacks in the looks category, she doesn’t make up for in the accent department. Her strangulated, Irish vowels have the whiff of stale colcannon about them, no doubt the same odour as her unwashed quim.

Her idea of comedy is saying her pre-written “joke” to the host then turning to the audience at the punch line and gurning or saying, “ERRRM while rolling her eyes. Either that or saying, “Aye, dat’s grand.” Hilarious. Psh.

Isn’t it odd that these thin-lipped, caustic comediennes always drop in to their monologues about not having a boyfriend. Hmm, the answer might be more obvious than you think, toots: Shampoo. Oh, the irony. You won’t go out with an ugly bloke, but without your endless make-up you RESMBLE an ugly bloke.

For those unfamiliar with this giant of comedy, allow me to paint a picture: Imagine discovering you’d run out of bog paper after a squirty, gooey dump sponsored by curry, ale and a gallon of potent Shiraz; that’s about how funny this “comedic” “actress” is.

As a sort of weird, in-joke, Bea was the star of her own tv show (This Way Up) recently where, bizarrely, she played a teacher, helping Dooshka-Dooshkas to speak English correctly. Oh, dee oirony! If I can’t understand this witch’s garbled rants, how the fuck can a non-native unpick her mangled diction? Surely the main reason this gnarly-faced sourcunt came over to Blighty was to improve her English, yet now we’re asked to believe she can tutor foreigners! The episode I saw was littered with immigration and racism references, as well constant allusions to Brexit (said with a moan and an eye-roll). It’s like ‘Mind Your Language’ without the nuance, characters, and comedy.

She’s the least likeable Irish bint since Sinead O’Connor snarled her one hit. Bea must realise that she’s invited onto panel shows for token reasons (woman, Oirish) not humour reasons. Consequently she’s just another hackneyed, unfunny, anti-British clone needlessly shat out by Channel 4.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

59 thoughts on “Aisling Bea”

  1. Never heard of her, but if the picture above is her?
    Id let her stamp on my bollocks in high heels and say ‘thanks luv!!’

  3. Never heard of her. I imagine their will be a few I’d still my tongue up her asshole comments, so I’ll volunteer first.

    Don’t mind the Irish accent on a woman.

  4. She may be supremely irritating, but as a few of our esteemed cunters have observed, she indeed appears to be an acceptable cock, balls and spooge receptacle.

    Good cunting, old chap.

  5. She’s one of your QI regulars, along with Susan Calman (couldn’t remember that blumper’s name but one quick google of “scottish lesbian QI and bingo) whose entire act consists of “right on joke, brexit joke, DID AAH MENTION AAH’M A LESBIAN BY THE WEE?” Pretty much take your pick of cunts on there. Mind you back to Aisling and yes I would grudgingly administer the cock

      • Much of a muchness really I think. Although by some astonishing quirk I believe Jo Brand is actually straight…. David Mitchell’s another prime rent-a-cunt; “sneery lefty social commentary, slag off brexit a bit – what’s that you say, nice fat insurance ad paycheque? So long, principles!!”

  6. This cunting describes every BBC comedienne. Their material consists of their cat, wife, Brexit, Johnson and Trump. The lefties lap it up.

    Am I the only who’s not laughing????

    Never heard of her, by the way, so thanks for educating me Captain.

  7. Never heard of her, and don’t want to hear her; other than a good old Irish screech when I take her up the arsehole!

    Top of the mornin’ to ya!

  8. Surely it’s in the holy book of leftyism that to appear on a Channel 4 or BBC for that matter, panel show that apart from continuously, hilariously sending up Trump/Boris/ Brexit, that you must have a lesbian partner/wife to qualify as ‘funny’.

  11. And another thing – is that one of those Irish names that’s pronounced with no relation to its spelling ? Sounds like a woman who’ll chuck her pint at you

    I sling beer ?

  13. I’m sorry you failed to appreciate the true subtlety of ERRRM (eyeroll). This supreme comedic innovation was pioneered by the unparalleled Sandi Toksvig as a means of indicating that she had just said something she thought funny, for the benefit of an audience which justifiably didn’t.

    I am not familiar with the output of this particular Toksvig disciple, but her appearance is a distinct improvement on Sandi’s and I would unhesitatingly molest her if we met. Errrm (eyeroll).

    Cunt, though, obviously.

    • You’ve had a costume change, K ? As I recall (painfully) it was Jimmy Fucking Tarbuck wot started the whole “ERRRM” thing, on the heels of his “punchline” as if he was about to go straight on to another nugget of hilarity but the audience’s hysterical laughter made him pause… Fat, unfunny, scouse cunt.

      • I fatfingered my addy again…thanks for the historical note, and yes, Tarbuck was unfunny even by today’s leaden standards. Back to my true shape, I hope:

  14. She is typical of Irish and Scottish women. The Vikings took the good ones back home and left the mouthy ones that can’t cook behind.

    • Good Morning Shackledragger,

      They also took the best one from oop north leaving us only withSarah Millican who does the similar eyebrows crap.

      However That doesn’t explain how they got Sandi Fucking Toksvig’s ancestors although fair credit they did manage to send her back.

      • Afternoon Wanksock.
        I daresay Toksvig’s 50x great gran was a joke gift for Olaf the clumsy who broke his leg getting on the boat to Lindisfarne and had to stay home. Can’t blame the bloke though, it gets cold in Denmark.

    • She doesn’t look bad, I’d give her a seeing to, but she’d have to keep quiet, an Irish accent depresses me.

  17. Looks suspiciously like a tranny. Then again, don’t they all nowadays? Too much freckle action on the arms. Almost as bad as tattoos.

    • You need your eyes testing magoo!
      Shes proper fit, Rtc!
      Sure we looking at same bird?
      Freckles? Oh well then thatd put me off my stroke freckles, shes disfigured!

  19. Written in the nomination, ‘gurning or saying, “ERRRM’, I immediately thought of Dara OBrien.
    Also Irish names why are they written oddly but said differently…
    Me reading a name card of an Irish person: Begorrah Potato.
    Irish person: “Errrm I’ll think you’ll foind it’s pronounced Brendan Patterson!”
    Me: *gobsmacked and confused*

  20. Never seen nor heard of this cunt before but she’d keep the bed warm I dare say.
    By pissiing in it probably.

  21. Don’t know who she is but I’d happily piggi back her and Mrs Bamboo
    Although I think Mrs Bamboo wouldn’t be at all happy but I would 👍

  22. Women don’t really do comedy, do they? I’ve never heard of this five minute wonder but she looks like she might have a half decent set of knockers. Perhaps if she wants to be taken seriously she should perform topless?

  23. Another one who’s as funny as a painful, swollen bollock… but all these wimminz “comediennes” are the same ie NOT FUNNY. Absolute shite.

  24. After much careful deliberation i’ve reluctantly come to the conclusion that i would fuck her arse and creampie it too.
    Thats this Aisling ( pronounced McGinty) woman and not Toksvig obviously.

  25. The more I hear of the Oirish, the more I think of Tom Lehrer’s “Irish Ballad.”

    I’d ride Raisin Conaty, thoroughly. I accidentally saw a Great British Bukkake-off years ago, and was mesmerised by fantastic tits in a lovely floral frock, all topped off with nice blondeness. Instant spooge. A little bit goofy in appearance, but that’s not a problem for me; otherwise a comeworthy package. Shame she did the unfunny comedienne bit, though.

  27. Aisling Bea and Phil Jupitus – a QI dream team.

    Said absolutely nobody. Ever.

    Weapons grade cunts is being too kind.

  29. That picture is extremely flattering of her. She never looks like that usually.

    I certainly wouldn’t s.m.t.u.h.a

  30. Totally unfunny libtard lefty cunt obviously. But boy oh boy would I destroy her fucking arsehole. Always had the right fucking horn for her, the cunt.

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