The Cheerful

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I’d like to cunt the innocently cheerful, always whistling, skip in their step, happy bollocks who seem to taunt me.
It’s so hot the tarmac’s melting, I’m grafting my arse off in it, nearly puking I’m so dehydrated; “nice weather!”
This cunt ambles past in his shorts, off to cash his giro or whatever, not a care in the world! Nice weather?
Piss taking twat!!
Or casually stood in way, ice cream in hand admiring the view, right in front of where I’m carrying a fucking washing machine; “God’s country, isn’t it?”
You’ll be seeing him shortly if you don’t get out of the fucking way.
Ggrrr, cheerful cunts, can’t be doing with em.
Wish it’d rain.

Nominated by Miserable northern cunt

67 thoughts on “The Cheerful”

  1. I suggest you stay up north you miserable northern cunt.

    I am a very cheerful person. Why?

    Boris in No 10
    Donald in the White House
    Bibi in charge in Israel and a plastic covered Bieber callender,lube and a box if Kleenex.

    Fuck off.

    Good morning.

  4. Morning fellas! Told you i was miserable!
    Put that in obviously during that heatwave, got my wish!
    Absolutely pissing it down!!!
    Yippee!!!😀

  5. I’m a cheerful person and what keeps me cheerful is trying to do at least one nasty deed a day….trip that fat kiddy, abuse those hikers,put a pushbiker in the ditch as you roar past him in a Hilux etc.

    Of course,what really puts a big grin on my face is pricking the bubble of some “clever” Cuntwipe….oh,yes..very little fear of me putting the shotgun barrel in my mouth when I’ve potted one of that type….nearly as enjoyable as a good days Hunting.

    Fuck Off.

    • Morning Mr Fiddler, have you got a full day planned? Maybe dump a couple of tons of cow shit in somebody’s driveway who has crossed you then off to the park to leer at the yoga class and pop a few children’s balloons with your swordstick? Rounded off by telling the local Romanian Big Issue seller to ‘Fuck off home’. Simple pleasures.

      • We country bumpkins have to take our simple amusements where we can. Of course, a massive unearned subsidy cheque helps us on our way.

        Morning LL.

      • Thats the spirit mr Fiddler!
        Small deeds of malicious evil to help through the day!
        Feel alright this morning, the sky is grey, wind lashing the rain against the windows,
        Forecast of thunderstorms,
        Cheered me up a bit!

      • “Small deeds of malicious evil”….big deeds of malicious evil are even better,MNC.

        Morning,you moaning bugger.

      • Morning Dick,
        Like to think your having fun putting rollerskates and banana skins on pavement outside the Institute for the blind,
        Or chuckling to yourself loosening the handrail in old folks home!
        If more people put in the effort like us the world would be a better place!

      • Good morning Mr Fiddler. What a beautiful day it is today? As someone who has recently moved to a rural area I am now only seeing the health benefit of living here. However there is one small thing about this country living…I was idling on Wikipedia last night and came upon some remarkable research;

        ‘The Kinsey reports rated the percentage of people who had sexual interaction with animals at some point in their lives as 8% for men and 3.6% for women, and claimed it was 40–50% in people living near farms’.

        What do you make of that? Have seen any suspicious activity in all your years? It goes on;

        ‘By 1974, the farm population in the USA had declined by 80 percent compared with 1940, reducing the opportunity to live with animals; Hunt’s 1974 study suggests that these demographic changes led to a significant change in reported occurrences of bestiality. The percentage of males who reported sexual interactions with animals in 1974 was 4.9% (1948: 8.3%), and in females in 1974 was 1.9% (1953: 3.6%). Miletski believes this is not due to a reduction in interest but merely a reduction in opportunity.[17]’

        Now this is all new to me. I never knew such activity took place. I am going to keep my eye out.

      • As I said in my earlier post,Miles….”We country bumpkins have to take our simple amusements where we can.”

        Morning.

      • You would have thought there would have been an abundance of ‘ol farmer’ Abdul types keeping goats.

      • Are you sure it wasn’t zoosexfarm.com you were “idling on last night” Miles?

      • ‘By 1974, the farm population in the USA had declined by 80 percent compared with 1940, reducing the opportunity to live with animals.”

        Is it any wonder. They’ve all been shagged out!

  6. These cheerful folk must be able to very effectively turn off to the everyday wankery that inevitably transpires to turn one’s day into a shit sandwich.

    How they do it I just do not know. I just wish I knew their secret.

  7. David Lammy says it is waayycccciiissst to target chicken shops for anti knife crime messages as sambos don’t eat fried chicken?

    Is he fucking mad?

    Fuck off back to the plantation Mr Lard are.
    That cotton ain’t gonna pick itself.

    Mammy!

    Ole man river.

    • Flabba the (Pizza) Hut has also popped up, bewailing the stereotyping of black junkie chiggun-lovers as black junkie chiggun-lovers. Further evidence if it were needed that Flabba is a comic stereotype…cheered me up, that did.

      • “…popped up…” It’s early and the vocabulary hasn’t quite switched on yet. I meant to say, “rolled ponderously to the surface, grunting.”

    • Is it racist because the assumption is being made that those that frequent chicken shops can read? I’s don’t know my letters Massa.

      • There is likely to be some empirical mathematical formula that defines the relationship between the number of dark-keys in a place and the number of chiggun shops that exist to service that place, for example:

        N = C x (G/F) exp (20)

        Where:
        N = total number of dark keys
        C = number of chiggun outlets (including KFC, Dixy Chiggun, Flavour Chiggun, Chiggun Lickin, etc.)
        G = the girth of the Flabbotamus (in centimetres)
        F = the number of ‘friends’ that Lammy claims to know who suffered hardship due to the evil Tories.

      • Lammy is currently standing in for James O’Shithead on LBC for the next THREE HOURS!

        Why not give the racist bigot a call and share your findings Paul?

      • Fuckin moonlighting cunt should be doing his day job the racist fat leather sofa

  8. I feel your pain brother….
    The worst for me has to be breakfast radio shows.
    It’s 8 in the morning on monday and I’ve just got to work, what is there to be so cheerful and bubbly about? They’re all laughing and cheering and clapping… annoying cunts!

    • They’re laughing at your sausage hanging out and , given your name , you obviously don’t care.
      Fair play to you for that.

    • Especially that excited, and worse, bubbly twatette Zoe Ball and her shouty drivell.
      Inane bollocks.

  9. Heatwave? What fucking heatwave! I think we’ve had about 4 days in total of decent weather this summer; other than that it’s been fucking shite! (No doubt Greta Thundercunt will blame this in CC)

    The only good thing about summer is denying those utility company cunts big bills – which always cheers me up!

    And of course the good weather brings out the old happy perv in me – oggling young women in their skimpy tops and shortest of short skirts (of course this is seen as “empowerment” by the wimminz these days, and not a sexual bit of flirtation for us old gits)

    That said, I would love all those happy-clappy cunts on Breakfast TV to STFU with their smug faces and £1m+ a year contracts for reading a fucking auto-cue!

    • Yes, but with winter comes bad weather in the Channel………more chance of illegal immos floating face down in the water.
      Reasons to be cheerful Part 1.

    • Yeah, it’s been the worst summer I can recall for some time, we had about 3 weeks of sunshine but it was humid as hell and that’s it, the rest of the time it’s pissed down.

      We had it too good last year I think, last year I was at the Isle of Man TT wearing shorts and t-shirt, in the Isle of Man for fucks sake! That’s never happened in the 15 other years I’ve been going there.

      I remember thinking to myself at the time that we’re going to pay for it in 2019 and we sure did!

  11. Fuck me, this British girl in Malaysia found dead and naked apparently starved to death!!!!
    Is anybody buying this shit?

    • But at least the parents have an extra £100,000 in the bank thanks to a fundraising page on their SM site.

      No substitute for a loss but fucking hell is that how it works now if someone goes missing?

    • It’s also hard to be white, female, under age and have “learning difficulties” in a country that’s 65% Islamic.

      Not that I am suggesting anything untoward here. It’s quite possible that she walked out, wearing her PJs , in the middle of the night, found her way to this river, without anybody noticing a young white girl wondering around. Then she stripped naked and spent seven days starving herself to death.

      Oh, did I tell you about my 14 inch cock and that time I fucked the Markle bitch while Princess Beatrice was licking my arse?

      • ah, well that explain the pigs I saw flying through the air the other night! What are the odds?

        I suspect racial sensitivities are at play with this news report – don’t want to accuse the local coolies of raping a white girl do we!

  12. No fucker approaches me for the first hour. I have just listened to an hour of unchallenged Remoaning, panic and no-deal disaster on Today. I want to harm the fuckers, set fire to their smug London houses.
    It’s being so cheerful that keeps me going. If I didn’t have such a silly good nature I would be a miserablewelshbastard.

    • Thats it CC, arson in the capital, remoaners sleeping while the smoke climbs the stairs…now im feeling cheerful!
      Always said it, and stand by it,
      The Welsh are friendliest people you could meet!😀

      • on way back through city centre after a course today, saw in a Welsh gift shop window just up from St. David’s Hall, a gimmicky little pottery objet (tres Caroline Lucarse), bearing the legend “Twisted fire lighters”…it contained matches, and a list of local garages for petrol.

    • What fuckin’ irritates me about these London remainers is when they keep saying “Brexit will hurt the rest of the country more than it will London.” How fuckin’ thoughtful and considerate. When have these twats ever been concerned about anyone but themselves?

  13. One of the locals whistles like a cunt in the morning and bellows with laughter at any chance remark, funny or not. He cheers me up immensely because, unlike him, I don’t have two sons, one autistic and needy, the other probably criminal, a wife who’s away with the fairies and a job involving being on-call to deal with the genuinely insane. So I’m cutting him some slack.

    My particular pleasure is in responding to cheerful cunts asking me how I am. I have borrowed the technique from another neighbour, who is in the process of dying from at least three terminal conditions, which he will describe in detail to anyone unwise enough to ask. “Fine,” I reply, “If the Hodgkins lymphoma and the brain aneurism* will just hold off, I fully expect to see tomorrow.” Cheerful cunts do not hang around for details, as they are then forced to look serious.

    MNC: Your wish for rain was answered, wasn’t it? The timing was spot on, too. The one day I’ve had to get a bus this summer – 1/2 mile walk and 15 minute wait in the MNC-requested pissing, nearly solid rain, and I’d left my jacket behind. Bet that cheers you up, you (deleted).

    *As far as I know, I have neither, so your sympathy is not required

    • Make like Gene Kelly, he liked it so much couldnt stop singing and dancing!
      Anyway im off to work now, some massive puddles on the roads watch out whistling pedestrians!!!

  14. Nothing to be cheerful about in the Cuntocracy currently masquerading as the United Kingdom.

    Fuck off.

  15. I won’t be cheerful until every cunt in Westminster and the Beelzebub Broadcasting Corporations lies dead with a stake in his/ her heart. Make no mistake we are dealing with a bunch of life sucking Libtard vampires.

    Fuck off again.

  16. I can see why the woman in photo is carrying the kid on her back, that is one ugly looking fucker.

    I dont mind cheerful people as long as they arent over the top, and as long as they dont try to make me happy.

    Its my God given right to be a miserable northern cunt!

    • That’s Princess Markle with Archie on her back. She’s just nicked him from the hospital and dumped the half chat brat that actually popped out of her overused front bottom.

      • They are only having 2 children for environmental reasons. Fuck me they should have changed the words to the marriage service:

        Do you Meghan take this dumbwit as you’d lawfully wedded Agenda partner with which you can politicize everything till death do you part. I do. And Harry will you take on this Agenda and follow to the letter. I will. I now join you in one holy sanctimonious Agenda. You may beam at the bride.

  18. Brill cunting. I hate cheerful people. Always have, always will, irritating cockwombles.

    I am especially miserable in the morning, mainly due to my chronic insomnia after years and years of working just nights. It has right royally fucked up my body clock. Mind you, even when I get a half decent few hours of sleep, I still cannot abide cheerful bastards.

    My sister is one of them. ALWAYS upbeat in the morning. NEVER lacklustre. It gets right up my snatch. She also has a naturally loud voice……she should have come with a fucking volume control attached to one of her titties from birth.

    The ones that also wind me up are the OTT happy shop assistants. ‘How are you today, Madam?’ If I were not so typically English with my social niceties, i would tell him or her to just shut the fuck up and serve me, as today I am fucking fed up as usual, thanks very much…..bloody annoying twats.

    I have to concur with the general sentiment here that there really is fuck all to be cheerful about in this country of late…..and especially Londonistan, where all of the cuntery is magnified.

    Everyone can, quite frankly, get to fuck (except my fellow cunters of course)

    • Nail of the head with happy shop assistants NC, maybe they dose them before shift with some happy pills. A sullen non-speaking cunt who looks like they want to be just about anywhere else will do for me. If I lived in the US with their constant “Have a nice day” I would be doing a stretch by now having suffocated them with my ‘bag for life’.

      • There’s a big fat camp cunt in Spar who says, to everyone, “So how can I help you today?” at the top of his whiny voice. The answer being, ‘you can give me the correct change and stfu, you fucking phoney’, of course.

    • Thanks Nurse Cunty,appreciate that!
      Im a relatively new boy on ISAC and a bit shy and timid, some of the other boys bully me on here, but might stop now youve endorsed me?
      Made a couple of chums but im a bit reserved as some are bit uncouth!!!

  19. I’m also a miserable northern cunt but not as miserable as the receptionist at the vet’s where I took my new cat yesterday. The sniffy bitch went out of her way to convince me that she wasn’t looking forward to seeing me again and after giving it some thought I decided the feeling was mutual. I don’t expect these cunts to fawn all over me but if I’m paying for a service I expect them to be pleasant. I rang the vet this morning and told him to make my future appointments on a day when she’s not there.
    Life is difficult enough without having to deal with cunts like this. When I go to bed at night my cat jumps on me and unerringly manages to tread on my balls. I think it’s her way of making me keep still and desist from having a wank. Females have always conspired against me. The bastards.

  20. I do say good morning to people when I’m having a pootle about town. It’s a nice thing to do.
    I remember someone tell me that I’ve made their day after I’ve said that to them.

    I’m not too keen on fake cheeriness from some shopkeepers. Or the have a nice day. I mean I’ll try to have a nice day but I can’t promise. What if it starts to rain and I’ve forgotten my umbrella?

      • It looks like Thornpiggery, in the dark.
        I’d smash it to smithereens with a club hammer.

  22. Cheery whistlers really set off volcanic eruptions within me. I had once thought of nominating Whistling Jack Smith but guessed that no-one had ever heard of the twat. Anyway why should I be the only one to suffer? Try this if you are feeling like a bit of self-inflicted pain and masochism today.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X-KNqhFtGU

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