I’d like to nominate zip wire riders.
They’ll pay a huge sum for an adrenaline rush lasting a few seconds. Probably the same sort who moan about the economy and how they’ve got no money.
The Bournemouth zip wire costs £20 (April to Sept) or £15 at other times. All for a 15 second ride.
What cunts.
Nominated by Mystic Maven
How much? Fucking rip off.
On a slightly different note remember queueing for 2 frigging hours with a young Japanese lady (pre Mrs Stroker) at Tokyo Disney Sea for a totally underwhelming star attraction ride that lasted seemingly under 90 seconds.
4
Try zipworld in Wales…Adult or child 10 yrs+ (£99 – £65) robbing Taffs.
4
Load of fucking wank. When I was a kid we used to swing across a river on a rope . No helmets, no safety harness……if you got it wrong you ended up in the water with cunts laughing and throwing stuff at you. People would be horrified today……far too dangerous for computer kids. Fuck me, some of the things we used to do would make most parents shit their pants today let alone their soft fucking brats.
20
Used to play with railway detonators, having said that I now realise it was all about getting away with it.
If I caught my 11 year old doing it, he would regret it. If my Dad had caught me I would have got the mother of all good hidings.
5
How things change. Our local Bobby in S.London arrived on scene ever so quietly on the latest Water-cooled L.E. Veloce’s Everyman motorcycle, sneaking up on us silently and clobbering us round the back of our heads with his truncheon which had been secreted in his rolled up rain cape. (no outward sign of abuse) And yes, you really do see stars.. Didn’t tell dad for obvious reasons..
3
Used to make bombs out of weed killer and sugar. Fucking lucky we still have our hands.
11
I’d keep that to yourself Mohammed.
20
He could be somewhat older and called Padraig.
12
Or much older still and called Guy.
8
My old man showed me how to cast lead cannon, and even provided the black powder to fire them. On reflection, he may just have wanted rid of me, but what father would dare do that today?
7
Chlorine and break fluid was the trick as well.
0
Health and a Safety
An industry thought up by cunts for other cunts to enforce.
9
My sister went on that bag o’shite Bournemouth zip wire a few years ago, but only because she was press ganged into it by our cousin, as her daughter wanted to go on it, and ‘be fucked if she was gonna do that’ (her words)
What an utter pile of wank. They have you standing in some bloody hut on the pier while they put the harness on you (my sister’s face when they tightened it up was a sight to see – that was the end of her sex life right there)
They then drag you over to the bloody thing you have to climb up, that looked like it was constructed circa 1922. That day was a blustery one and the thing was bloody swaying and creaking, I shit you not!!
Then within a hot minute you are urged to shove off of the thing and within seconds, you land in a heap on Bournemouth beach.
It was money for old rope, and it wouldn’t surprise me if ‘old rope’ was what they were using for punters to hang from. Dropping into the sea because the bastard snaps from overuse? FUCK….THAT…..SHIT.
What a cunt rip-off.
3
£15 !?!?!? There’s a mug born every minute.
Our local village playgroup is sending begging letters around to raise £90,000 for some replacement glorified swings and slides for their little darlings (Julian and Jessica types) that’ll be torched by Christmas. Soft mugs who donate must have more money than sense.
It does include a zip wire though. Free of charge; reasonably thrilling when I tried it when nobody looking at 0600 hrs last Sunday. Flabbott would be an amusing sight on it as I’m sure it’d ground in the middle despite her renowned ability to get her legs up high (according to Steptoe anyway)
1
The only time i plan on using a zip wire is during my funeral, when my corpse will come careening down the aisle of the crematorium to the theme of Tales of the Unexpected and head straight through the curtains into the furnace.
3