Terry Alderton

Terry Alderton, alleged comedian.

I’d lived in blissful ignorance of this cunt until I heard him on the radio this evening. Evidently, he has mental health problems that he likes to incorporate into an act. At one point, the silly cunt was barking like a dog and hearing voices. I’m not often taken aback, but rarely have I heard such a self indulgent, piss poor excuse for entertainment. I would rather have listened to someone straining on the bog. I dread to think how much this cunt is being paid. And,having looked him up on Google, the cunt resembles Uncle Fester on crack.

Nominated by Mary Hinge

57 thoughts on “Terry Alderton

  1. This fucking scumcunt used to be on Eastenders, I believe. Please don’t assume I watch that dirgefest of fuck; sometimes, just sometimes the remote falls into the hands of other cunts in my house.

    Self-indulgent is the name of the fucking game for the BBC stable of ‘comedians’, especially the ones with an impediment/disability/otherwise ‘condition’. There’s a female comedian (A contradiction in terms I know) with cerebral palsy who just makes lengthy spasticated sounds in lieu of coherent speech, and the guilt-laden millenial audiances laugh in a an over-compensatory fashion.

    Look, stand-up comedy is supposed to be about entertainment. Increasingly though, the ‘woke’ comedy is all about making the audience feel white shame, or uncomfortable, or otherwise some kind of implied chastising. Like everything else though, it has been hijacked to allow all kinds of talentless ineffectuals to festoon the ranks.

    This bald cunt should be blindfolded, passed a hot iron and forced to use it as a phone. The fucking garden-variety giant vegetable.

    • The woman comedian with cerebral palsy was on question time a while back. She was so far up Corbyns arse, and no one dared interrupt her, even though she was talking shite. Not equality, as to challenge her would have come across as a hate crime. For some reason though, it made me want maltesers……

      • I had never heard of said comedian with cerebral palsy, so I googled them. What would you know, there were four different British comedians with cerebral palsy. It does appear that it’s more a case of, “hey, I’m disabled, you have to laugh or you’re discriminating against me”.

    • Yeah, and he makes good money from being a nutcase. WE must be daft, not him.

      • No, he’s just another cog in the machine who has sacrificed his soul for fame and lost his dignity and respect in the process. Satan will collect, along with all the other so called “entertainers”…

  2. In addition, anyone called Terry has a 62.91% chance of being an absolute cunt.

    If they are called Terry and hail from Essex like this specimen, the odds increase dramatically to 98.50%.

  3. Funny how on one hand they don’t like us laughing at raspberries, but then this cunt comes along. Personally, I think people with tourettes give me the biggest laugh in the world.

    • Bloke called Terry on online news,
      Went to hospital for botox, nhs gave him a circumcision by mistake, in leister apparently, haha would of loved to of seen his face!

      • In moderation. Not a single swear word or offensive word in the post.

      • Think the trick is to be as offensive as possible?
        Put something innocent and sweet natured..straight in moderation

      • I’m never moderated…only naughty people get moderated.

  4. I remember a program called John is not mad about a boy with tourettes and it was fucking hilarious.

  5. Guarantee this cunt will be at the Edinburgh fringe this month and the lefties will not be physically able to gobble this spacco’s cock fast enough. Form a queue gentleman you will only have the privilege of teabagging this perma-victim for another 3 weeks!

  6. I remember a woman coming into my local and asking the landlord if she could bring in her child who suffered from Tourettes. Landlord answered that as long as the child wasn’t upset by the other customers’ weird behaviour and foul language,he couldn’t give a shit who came in….he was right.The Mentalist -child was subdued at witnessing a true “Shock and Awe” exhibition of weird behaviour and foul language….never heard a peep out of him. I sometimes wonder if we cured him…he must have known that there was no way that he’d ever be able to reach our dizzying heights of anti-social behaviour,no matter how hard he tried.

    Fuck Off.

    • If only the locals ‘weird behaviour and foul language’ worked on repelling more public house undesirables. I suppose the nice weather attracts ramblers, families and noisy brats like flies to freshly laid turd up your way Mr Fiddler?

      • It’s dreadful, L.L.
        The pubs are full of the Cunts. Their latest Cuntish trick is bringing their fucking rucksacks in with them. Some of the thick Cunts don’t even take them off their back before they come…squeezing between tables,knocking peoples drinks over as they try to get a table… then some of the filthy Cunts even take their fucking hiking-boots off,so you’ve not just got the waft of their B.O,but their stinking feet too…I’ve even seen them, in the winter, take off their wet socks and dry them in front of the fire.

        Utter Cunts.

      • Feckin despise rucksacks.

        When rambling, I have a dwarf pulling my stuff in a small handcart.
        I leave it tethered outside any hostelry, where it seems to attract attention from dogs of the right size.
        It can go for twenty miles on a goblet of warm milk and a Kit-Kat, and a few well-aimed pebbles.

    • Bloody hell Mr F, if your name gets any longer you’ll have to drop your Dick or something to be able to fit it on the back of your rugby shirt!

  7. You won’t get anywhere in the world of showbiz if you don’t own up to mental health ‘issues’ these days. Its almost compulsory and if you admit to not having any you’ll be cast out of the incrowd and looked upon as some sort of oddball/weirdo.

    • Its the in thing to own, where good old Bernard Manning thought having a roller was the pinnacle of success,
      Wouldnt cut the mustard today unless he was barking at passing cars and shitting on footpath! St Bernard!

      • Bernard had a Roller BM1 and a Cadillac 1LAF. True working class hero. My fucking hero.

      • He certainly did! My hero as well, we’ve both nicked one of his jokes in past fortnight, and Jack did one last night!

  8. No mention yet of the description of the 17 year-old motherfucker who threw that poor little French kiddie over the balcony at the Tate Modern.
    So, some sort of Dark Key, presumably.
    Which begs the question: what was someone of an all-year-tan persuasion doing in an art gallery in the first place? Looking for someone to mug? Or have they started a fried chiggun counter to tempt in some Um Bong0s for the increased lottery funds?

    • Have to say TTCE I thought the same. It’s tricky because many offenders under 18 do get protected but the lack of outrage, the quiet dropping of the story down the order in various rags does suggest to me a strong whiff of enrichment.

      • Apparently he actually grabbed the child out of it’s mothers arms and ‘blamed social services for his actions – and was stalking other children seconds before the attack’.

        Sounds like a refugee angry at the prospect of being sent home when he turns 18.

      • There’s a description as being white and bearded, so possibly an eastern european muslim, or even north africans can look pale, as can syrians.

      • Now seems he was just an escaped mental patient who according to one of his ex-minders ‘gets angry when he is denied something that he wants or is told what to do’. Sounds like millennialism.

    • It’s definitely the gift that just keeps on giving, and it is an absolute strength of our society.

      Germany is similarly blessed: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/07/29/child-killed-pushed-front-train-germany/

      I’m surprised the “on message” remainstream media even mentioned it!

      However, if you flipped the protagonist’s and victim’s demographic it would have been world news 24/7 for a month at least.

      No doubt the AL-BEEB and Groaniad will have spun the cause as being down to endemic white nationalist extremism causing our beloved benefits cockroaches to act in this way!

      Welcome to clown world where this bullshit is tolerated and adorated by our 5th column government and media hysteria establishments.

      Cunts!

    • All the reports go to remarkable lengths to say absolutely nothing about the attacker

      • No doubt one of their protected species.

        Look at the sickening “lone wolf” appeasement/labelling of the cunts who did the Manchester MEN and London bridge terror attacks. The next day it was hug a peaceful around the UK including Manchester Chief of Police Ian Hopkins.

        Contrast that with the fortnight long right-wing terrorist labelling of Darren “fucking” Osbourne whose pissed-up transit van trundle resulted in one in the crowd dying after they had already collapsed in the street ahead of the incident.

        This is not to excuse Osbourne’s cunt actions (and especially because he reset the clock on all of the “peaceful” terrorist atrocities that preceded it), it’s merely illustrative of the disparity in which these incidents were covered and acted upon by the remainstream media and cunt civil service.

        The most heinous and planned mutli-terrorist atrocities labelled as a bit of hijinks whilst Osbourne’s pissed-up fumblings presented as a second 9/11 incident!

        Fuck off!

  9. This shiny-headed bell-end managed to hook ex-Page 3 hottie Dee Ivens.

    Fuck knows how, with a cranium that looks like it has been ravaged by the Zika Virus.

    • He’s like a gruesome, Brundlefly-esque splicing ‘twixt man and dildo.

      • Despite looking like a roll on deodorant is he funny?
        No ones said if theyve seen his act, whats he like on stage?
        The barking and hearing voices captured my imagination!

  10. Unfortunately straight, white males have no rungs on the ladder of victimhood and so their only recourse is to claim some other virtue-signalling affliction such as mental health issues.

    Folk who truly suffer from mental health issues rarely mention them outside of their own family, if even then.

    Media fawning, in the age of enlightenment, means these issues are to be out in the open and freely discussed, however, the cunts – in the most part – open to discussing them are generally CuntBook and Twatter “like” fodder, who usually only suffer from Brexit, Boris, or Trump derangement syndrome.

    Rightly or wrongly, there is still a huge stigmatism associated with being branded a “nut”, and – even with a more sympathetic outlook across society – most people with real mental issues, keep their affection to themselves.

    It’s definitely not seen as a vehicle for click-bait one-upmanship or cheap laughs.

    Unfunny Cunt!

    • Get control of yourself!
      Your coming across as a right nutter!😀

      • No he’s not a nutter. He sees things clearly. There is no doubt what he says is true; a media policy not to show immigrants in a bad light even though they are committing terrible crimes. But there was a white woman recently who killed her children wait for it because ‘they were getting in the way of her sex life’. Now if that was a black women or an immigrant wouldn’t that CONFIRM our prejudice. What am I saying is Rebel is right to point out the double standards in the media. But yes prejudiced, or is blind to the fact, in not seeing fault ourselves.

    • “There was an Irishman, Scotsman and a fucking shit bastard twat mother fucking cunt, and they were in a bar…”

      “Oh you have tourettes right? You meant Englishman, right?”

      “No, I’m Nicola Sturgeon, I don’t have tourettes, and can you get off the SNP party conference stage please!”

  11. Like Terry Alderton I sometimes hear voices in my head.

    Usually when watching tv, the voices telling me to turn cunts like him off.

  12. Daft cunt. Talking pish away and scalp your arse use didy or you will hiv your head to play way.
    Innit

  13. Emily Matliss on News night just now.
    What a fucking total bitch. Anti Trump hysteria.

    Fuck off.
    Cunt.

    • She is indeed a cunt, Krav…

      And I will never get the ‘appeal’ of this Matliss hag…
      She looks like the witch who lived in the kettle from Chorlton and the Wheelies…

    • The Maitliss special at KFC: two tiny breasts, two skinny thighs and a left wing.

  14. Am being taken to some comedy club on Thursday. It will just be my luck that this cunt in on the bill.

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