Country and Western Sneerers

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Sod those who disparage Country and Western music. “Music for losers, by losers, about losers”, these tossers call it. They associate it with redneck hicks who get pissed on hooch, beat up their wives then fall into an abyss of maudlin self-pity. Of course all C&W fans are Trump supporters, racists, anti-gay, anti-women etc. according to these tone deaf fairies.

Bollocks to them. C&W is real music from the heart sung by real men – like Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers, Don Williams, Alan Jackson and Waylon Jennings – and real women – like Dolly Parton (and what a woman), Tammy Wynette, Linda Ronstadt, Emmy Lou Harris and Rita Coolidge. No gays or trannies in there, although Willie Nelson´s pigtails had me wondering for a bit.

Songs about real life too like: “Lucille” where the hard working husband is abandoned by his ungrateful wife; “Stand By Your Man” which every bride should be legally obliged to learn before being hitched; “Remember When”, a teary look back on life and raising a family; and “I Recall a Gypsy Woman” about an innocent 17-year-old being seduced by a dark-eyed older temptress with “Silver spangles in her eyes/Ivory skin against the moonlight/And the taste of life’s sweet wine”.

Who can beat that?

Nominated by Mr Polly

100 thoughts on “Country and Western Sneerers”

  1. The lyrics remind of my life, utter sadness. Serves you right to suffer. J. L. H. ….

  2. Isn’t singing ‘Stand By Your Man’ a transphobic and misogynistic hate crime by now?

    • “You know, I’m not sitting here, some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette.”

      That’s why she lost to Trump.

  3. I’m sorry but this is the evil twin of barn dancing which I cunted a while back.

    • Ace cunting mr Polly!
      C&W big in scotland isnt it? Funny enough also in Rochdale? And with old carribean blokes?!
      Love Johnny Cash, and Hank Williams,
      Listen in van on long journeys, the lad who works for me hates it but im the boss so fuck him!
      C&W is 2fisted whiteboys music, it feels sorry for itself, likes a drink, misbehaves, takes no shit,its great!
      Dont seem to get any of the modern lot yodelling though? Miss that!

  6. Country music is shite, yeah Johnny Cash did some good tunes but for every 1 of his pearls there are 10000 dog shit country tunes.

    I know that country music has some of its roots buried in Celtic folk which is also known to wallow in misery, that may be why country music is more popular with the Irish and the Scots?

    Each to their own though and given the choice between C&W I would have to get a pen and gouge out my own ears.

    • I thought same sixdog, but because all my mates hated it id give it another look, forget the mullets, cowboy boots,
      And rhinestone shite,
      Some proper heartbreaking stuff Morrissey would of died to of written!
      And it winds people up😀😀😀

      • I once bought a ruler from Morrissey at a church bazaar….

        Heaven knows I’m measurable now….

      • It’s the musical equivalent of soap operas for me. If I’m going to wallow in misery I got plenty of my own. Nope, it’s in the bin with black gospel choirs, Jazz and U2.

      • Please don’t pass me by,
        Oh please don’t pass me by,
        For I am blind, but you can see…

        🙂

  7. Blankets, dead dogs and depressed truck drivers….that’s about it.

    What has sixty legs and sixty teeth..?

    The front row at a C+W concert….

  8. “Who can beat that?”

    The Bee Gees apparently – best selling “country” song ever ?

  9. I don’t mind a bit of Johnny Cash. I used to enjoy going to festive occasions,,birthday parties,wedding receptions etc.,and getting maudlin drunk on Scotch whisky( Irish doesn’t have the same effect,it just makes me rude and unpleasant). When fully primed, I’d belt out “Hurt” by Cash….it was invariably a show-stopper. I don’t do it nowadays…mainly because I’m never invited anywhere these days…well,apart from the Tax Office…perhaps I could give them a drunken full-volume recital..that should remove the last doubts from their minds about my probity..or,indeed,sanity.

    Fuck Off.

    • Haha,great tune, and like yourself mr fiddler night on the whiskey makes me maudlin and musical,
      Although my songs ‘summers almost gone’ by the Doors.

      • Irish whisky does make me a bit ruder and fighty then normal , haven’t had much scotch in all honestly Dick aside from grants a few others but i’m worried it would make me crave deep fried food and deep fried irn bru too much and the really good top shelf scotch like chivas regal, aberlour, ardbeg , and dalwhinnie are like 100 bucks a bottle Ffs I don’t care how good it is thats expensive

        Canadian whisky just makes you apologize for stuff that isn’t your fault and you say eh more often then you should and you crave marijuana something fierce but thats hardly a downside imo

      • I tried a bottle of Canadian Club whiskey, TS. It was alright,but I don’t think that I’d bother to buy it again.

    • A pedant writes:- ‘Hurt’ is actually written and performed by Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails.

      But it is beyond dispute that Cash’s is the more widely known and arguably better version.

      • Thats fine with me Dick sorry to hear it wasn’t up to task, Canadian club is alright it is nothing super special Its a good blended whisky but you know your whiskys a bit more then me

        Also I don’t know how much the cunts charge for it as a exported product in the uk Its like 24 dollars for a 750ml bottle here and 35 for a 1.14 litre one I usually buy Alberta premium 100 percent rye cause i like the taste of it neat and its cheap great for cunttails too unfortunately its a leaf only product this pisses off some yanks who enjoy it yet I can’t get at least 10 whiskys that they only have access too

  10. Dunno how to put links on my posts as im a hillbilly simpleton but youtube steve n seagulls ‘thunderstruck’
    New take on AC/DCs great tune!

  12. Drug Store Truck Driving Man by the Byrds is a good track. As is Sweet Virginia by the Stones:

    🎶 Got to scrape the shit right off your shoes 🎶

    Also have a soft spot for Dylan’s ‘Nashville Skyline’ album.

      • St Paul’s is a fantastic place to have a night out though, MNC. If you can avoid getting the shit kicked out of you by an aspiring (*insert aspirational career intentions here*)…

      • When a young miserable i hitchhiked to Bristol to a free festival to see hawkwind with a mate, on way back through st pauls got into a narrow scrape with 2 naughty black lads, police came before it got out of hand!
        Imagine its a place you can find a good night out? Bit like our moss side!

    • Evening, Mr. Cunt-Engine.

      Are you and your moustache going out on the town tonight?

      • Unfortunately not…my sister has had a stroke so I have to go and visit her in hospital.
        I don’t feel in the least bit sorry for her; silly cunt has been a chronic alky for 20 -odd years (one of those shambling zombie-esque bottle of vodka a day types), so now I’m on the train to Londonistab to visit her in the morning if she makes it through the night.
        Maybe if I replace the fluid in her IV drip with a vodka top-up, it’ll finish the selfish bitch off once and for all.
        I trust you have a pleasant night planned?

      • I’ll be staying in,Mr.C-E. The pubs are stuffed with fucking holiday makers at this time of year….caravan-cunts and their screaming brats,push-bikers and walkers stinking of BO..and all eating fucking bowls of chips smothered in vinegar in the bar…it’s fucking intolerable. The fucking midges are too bad to sit out in the beer-garden smoking too.
        No,it’s a Bushmills night in with the hounds for me,and will be until all those dreadful people all fuck off back to wherever it is they belong.

      • I’d have thought you’d have a jolly good time ruining the evenings of these assorted ne’er-do-wells?
        Must dash, London approaches. Time to put a clothes peg on my nose…

      • I wish they would fuck off from where I am to where you are.

        I can here these fucking stupid unruly twats. Sorry, troubled children with actual ADHD even now at 10pm. The fuckers are not a day past 8 years old and between them, their dog shit parents and their fucking yappy terrier monstrosities; I hope their next holiday flight crashes over Fukushima and they survive the impact.

        The only difference between theae people and sewer rats is that the rats never had to compensate for living in shite by burying themselves [as deep as the chilean miners] into debt to buy a new AUDI.

  14. If it’s a choice between Cuntry and Western and Hip-Hop, I’ll take the former all day long.
    Hoo-ee, ma girl was a cunt in Nashville.

  16. Johnny Cash, ‘When the man comes around’ could peel paint. Wonderful.

    • Another good un!👍
      Just put Hank Williams on,
      ‘im so lonesome I Could Cry’ maudlin as hell, love it!

      • Beneath that hard exterior you’re really a big softy at heart aren’t you MNC?

      • Like drinking ale and feeling sorry for myself Blunty!!
        Thing is nowt to be that maudlin about nowadays!!
        Business is good, familys well, own my own home, got my health, etc
        Its a fuckin travesty!!!
        How am i gonna enjoy whisky and country music like that?!😀

  18. Hill garbage. Any music where one is required to analyse lyrics in order to enjoy it is utter bollocks. The voice is merely an instrument and if you are looking for hidden meaning, you don’t appreciate the mix, or the separation. There are very few songs where the lyrics assume real importance. Sympathy is certainly one.

    Of course, if you have some piece of shit Bose, forget about separation and mix.

  19. Only time I can listen to C&W is when it’s a piss-take, like Ed Sanders’ albums ‘Truckstop’ and ‘Beer Cans On The Moon’.
    And Man recorded a good B side called ‘Country Girl’.

    • Saw the Damned at ritz in manchester a year or two back, was good night out!
      But had the Dickies as support, theyre shite.

  22. I dont know the genre but quite enjoyed the music in Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can.
    Gets a bit much in ‘theme bars/restaurants’.

    Like anything American, it’s a novelty in small doses.

    However I wouldve enjoyed a tit-wank off Dolly Parton circa 1982.

  23. I’m a late convert to climate change theory. Wild fires in Alaska and Siberia. That can’t be normal surely?

    • Seas full of plastic, weathers fucked up, course its real, but its population overload thats doing it, need a new plague to thin us out a bit, give us some elbow room!
      Im open to a ice age dont mind that,
      But extreme heat is a killer!
      Fit for lizards, flies and peacefuls….

      • Spot on. Until one of these climate Nazis mentions overpopulation as the main threat, anything less is bullshit.

  24. Had an uncle who was a right cunt. Whenever we visited he used to stick Jim Fucking Reeves on his shitty Ferguson music-centre. Even my parents found it hard going after a while.

    Got him back as an older teenager by playing Stockhausen’s Hymnen when he came round once. The look on his face was priceless.

  25. To be fair, most cunts have no idea how to listen to music properly, have no appreciation of sonic quality, baulk at paying £500 for a “really expensive stereo”. And I include my daughter in that list. I’m having multiple orgasms over my cost-as-much-as-a-house Linn system and she can’t tell any difference.

    • There you go then! Dont need that shite to enjoy music, Bowie was great with Just a acoustic guitar!
      Best times i heard music was sat at night round a campfire.

  26. Country and Western will never get anywhere until it embraces the gayness. You need gay songs and gay performers.
    Imagine all those gays dressed up as cowboys and line dancing to “Ring of Fire” or “Boy named Sue.” They’d fucking love it. 🕺🏽

  27. But if you play a C&W record backwards your wife comes back, the crop comes in and your dog comes back to life.

  28. Country and western is best appreciated by mountain trash who are happy to snort coke in their trailers while their kids run around outside naked with shotguns.

    • True! You were right about people not listening to music properly as well!
      All these years id been listening with my nose! Sounds completely different when used my ears!
      Feel a right berk!
      Glad im not too up my own arse to listen to other views eh?

  29. Off topic – anyone have Joe Longthorne in the Dead Pool? Only 64, apparently. Carcked it. Was of Romany origin AND a puddle-jumper, “good with colours”, crafty butcher, counter-gradient horticulturalist, etc.
    No, I’d never heard of him either.

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