Tattooed Women (4)

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A nomination for tattooed women. Not the fat ugly chavs, where we expect it, but the really attractive or beautiful women who have these hideous things. Saw one this evening at the swimming pool – beautiful blonde in a black bikini, fine figure, but when she turned around, lo and behold, a huge bird’s wing across her shoulder and left breast, and other silly things down one of her legs and on her hands. It certainly dampened my ardour. Naturally her tosser of a boyfriend was covered in them too. She also had one of those hideous navel piercings, ughh, the ultimate turn-off.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

55 thoughts on “Tattooed Women (4)”

  1. My brother said that when we were kids we’d need to go to the circus to see a fat tattooed lady, now we just walk down the street. Not long back I saw a dwarf on a bike (true).

  2. Commonly known as Tramp Stamps. They don’t look good on fit young bodies and only get worse as you get older. I can see the NHS being inundated with demands for tattoo removal in the years to come because they are causing the twats to have mental issues.

    Great cunting Mystic Maven.

  3. A very worthy cunting Mr Maven.

    Tattoos disfigure women and turn even the beatiful ones into cheap ugly crack whores. What it does to fat ugly mingers is even more unspeakable, particularly when they top it off with a puffy pierced minge. Most British pornstars have this look. Gross.

    Fuck off.

  4. Tattoos used to mean you were a biker who would kill, now it means you watch superhero films and drink latte.

  5. I am very grateful for these, as they indicate without argument that the wearer’s IQ is in the low twenties, and that there is no possibility of any meaningful interaction. I am glad I will not live long enough to mock the dedicated followers of this insane fashion as they reach their 50s, and the designs either balloon with the fat or wrinkle with the wrinkles, or both. Because I would undoubtedly be jailed, by then, for tat shaming.

  6. If you dont like tattooed women, there’s not a lot of options out there nowadays, especially amongst those under 50.

    It’s a bit sad how many younger women are so bent towards making themselves look completely repulsive these days, be it with blubber-exposing tops and leggings, dyed hair, tattoos, piercings, clownish make up, Wheng Chu painted talons, Groucho Marx eyebrows, Romford facelifts, orange tans, armpit hair, duck-faced pouting, Skrillex Unisex hair styles and hipsters glasses sat on moon faced heads.

  7. Got to agree and darn good cunting.

    Hannah Shaw a.k.a ‘kitten lady’
    https://images.app.goo.gl/fWrSmgvc3oU5LTqG9
    is a fit bird, no fat, does not require make up, very nice and polite, doesn’t booze or play the slut so therefore a good catch yet she (in my opinion) has covered her beautiful body in hideous incoherent Tatt’s that would make a hardened 25 year sentenced Russian Jail Lag’s tattoos look gay.

    I don’t get it and no doubt she’ll regret it when she’s in her sixties and her skin starts to roll. Shell look like someone has coloured her in with blue Biro pen.

    Get Fucked.

      • I wager your tongue has encountered more black holes than Maximilian Schell, Sir.

      • Its simply my way of saying a lady is sexy thats all. I am sure the ladies would find it a very sweet thing to say…I’ve yet to use whilst chatting a bird up though. Your welcome to try it out and let me know the results.

  8. I like my women the way I like my turtles…

    Teenage, mutated and helpless on their backs….

  9. I have to say that since my recent change of address I haven’t spent much time watching TV, I have such fascinating Neighbours.
    The poor unemployed chap upstairs seems totally unaware that his conversation bounces of the adjacent building and is audible on the patio, like wise his “Guests” I have noticed that the nice kids go to the butterfly meadow on the nature reserve to take drugs and all the bad ones pop upstairs to visit my neighbour (who so far has caused no problems) any way I digress.
    Whilst tending (or resurrecting) the garden an angel spoke from the balcony above, there standing in her glory was a (unspecific age hard to tell sunken eyes missing teeth) as she asked me questions in her crackled gravely voice about the large Hound laying on the grass, I took time to view her ink work, without a doubt she had been the blank page to many an aspiring Tattoo artist with a tattoo pen bought on e-bay.
    Some of the art was similar to that you see stuck to fridges by admiring parents, it was without doubt some of the best self harming I have ever seen a wonderful sight and a warning to all about home tattoo kits and drug abuse.

    • What a bunch of snobby old puffs you all are! You wouldnt tom a fit bird because shes got a tattoo? Haha! Ffs dont give a fuck, if shes covered in em, im not the ‘queazy’ type, dont faint at sight of blood or weep in butchers shops!
      Just get her knickers off you little woofters and get stuck in…bunch of tarts.

      • I do not think You are familiar with my area, Aldershot was the home of the British army from 1853.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aldershot_Garrison

        it was also the home of the parachute regiment, Through the centuries whatever fit totty there was married a soldier and fucked off, the remainder went on the lash with the Paras
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s-W4G2HIXU

        (sigh its closed now)
        Spent some time in catterick myself so perhaps close to you, seen some of your land whales, but I promise you they are nothing compared to our fare maidens, (minor note) when it kicks off in a pub its normally the women and they are nasty, I am also not the “squeazy type” however I wouldn’t fuck a heroin addict who looks like an extra out of the walking dead, however you may do so if you choose too (10 tailor made should do it)

      • Wasnt talking to you lord Benny! Was pointing out how choosy some of these boys are.
        And no i cant shag anything as im a married man with kids and missus would cut it off.
        As far as my land wales, im no michael palin bur since when has manchester been in fucking wales?
        Seems both of us failed geography at school.

    • There have been a couple of instances where a particularly dreadful tat’ has stopped me from being able to finish a sentence.

      One was an all-red tattoo of a tiger’s head on a pale freckled shoulder, but it looked more like an Alsatian with Downs.

  10. You know when footballers are at it, its a pile of cunt…how many wanker footballers have the ‘Sleeve tattoo’s’ and down one leg shite…most of them.
    Same with women, you used to have women with the odd tattoo on the navel or the shite ‘pattern’ above their ass, around waist height…you know the tattoo you look at whilst giving them a bit of doggy style and if its a shite tattoo you give them a harder pounding as punishment.
    I think a couple of well placed tattoos on a decent bird with a good figure look quite nice, or a few on a manly man like myself can look good but these tattoos for tattoos sake are cuntish. Like the men you see in benidorm and the costa del cunt whose only ambition is to get on Love Island, or Big Brother covered in tattoos trying to be individual when they look anything but and more like a sad cunt.
    Some old cunt wrote on here a few years ago that tattoos were originally found on people who live on the fringes of society (like me, although I dont have any) and he was right.
    All these wankers are going to look even more stupid when they are a saggy skinned 70 year olds.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • The only tat a woman should have is her christian name upside down on the back of her neck…….

      • I’m guessing so that when you look down as she noshes you off all you have to do is move her hair out of the way so you can see her name?

        Helpful after a night out on the beer when you bring said catch back home for a hastily arranged ‘dogs marriage’ AL fresco style on your living room floor?

        Excellent point and yes this tattoo should be made compulsory.

    • That’s it, you see a fella in his 70’s with tattoos now you kind of get the impression that back in the day he was not to be fucked with.

      I actually have 3 tattoos from when I were a young stupid cunt, one of which I did myself when I were 15, do I regret them? Not really but I wouldn’t get any more.

      It must be a great business to be in though with all the young ones coming in for tribal sleeves, Japanese writing and tributes to grandma. Bet they’re raking it in.

    • Perfectly put
      If Premier league footballers have them then they are fucking shite
      I’ll assume that twat in the papers G Bale must have them and a hairband as well
      Get to fuck
      CUNTS

  11. I find tattoos on women almost as revolting as tattoos generally.

    I was lucky in that Giga-Rigsby, who was a bit of a tearaway in his youth, had loads of them at a time when they were still considered for criminals and sailors. He always regretted getting his ‘ink’, and always put the total fear of God into me about even getting curious about getting any of my own.

    Cheers, dad.

  12. A sleeve tattoo is the ultimate expression for the quirky, unique, free-spirited, yet attention craving, fashionista.

    It’s ‘dope’ bro… no really.

  13. I might go and get a massive tattoo saying ‘Tattoos are for cunts’…That’ll teach the daft cunts.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  14. I hate them and all… Tattoos are for brass with no class… And the ones who tattoo ‘tributes’ onto themselves?! Walking around with ‘Grandma’ on your arm? Do fuck off, you cunts…

    I also loathe those horrible fake eyelashes… Some peroxide ‘Little Britain’ tart with kia-ora fake tan and long black stick on eyelashes that are as fake as Brucie Jenner’s snatch…. Nothing more off putting and classless… Always makes me laugh when some cunt asks my Mrs ‘Where did you get your lashes from/done?’ And Mrs N replies, ‘They’re real, you cunt!’

      • Brendan Rodgers is another one, B&WC…. Not a tattoo, but he has a huge lit up portrait of himself in his own house… His own fucking house… What a cunt…

        And Beckham is another cunt… Once a normal and affable lad who lived over the Besses Off Licence, he is now a total cunt who is tattooed on every part of his anatomy apart from his thick head… Everyone at the time – from Fergie to the United tea lady – said the same thing… ‘He’s a nice lad, but she will fucking ruin him’… And so it came to pass and a cunt couple (and idiot offspring) was born….

      • The Beckhams…now washed up and old no careers to speak of, simply hanging about living off old reputations…I wish they’d fuck off. I never knew that about Brendan ‘showed great character’ Rodgers…what a cunt and good riddance.

  15. Pulled a bird at the weekend. Got back to my place, had a few more drinks then headed for the bedroom. Was having a bit of a grapple while getting undressed when suddenly a voice coming from the bed said, “Please fucking tell me that’s not that fat fucking heffer of a cunt you brought back last Saturday.”

    She looked a bit shocked and asked “What the fuck was that?”

    I said “Ignore it, it’s just the memory foam mattress”….

  16. In a pub once years ago
    I noticed his tattoo
    As he swallowed his beer
    The bird on his neck flew.

    • How come the 8th one down, the tiger’s face, has white legs and black hands? Now that’s what I call a half-caste.

  18. I really never understood the point of tats on blokes or women, especially twats that have those hearts and daggers on their arm with the name of their soon-to-be-ex beloved written through it!

    Then you get the Clangers that have tats on their backs! Now what’s the fucking point in that if you can’t see it?

    Twats with tats and metal body piercings are doing themselves no favours – not least when going through metal detectors at airports, or having x-rays and MRI scans at hospitals.

    I don’t know if the NHS do tat removals? I should certainly hope not!

  19. As ever good cunting MM.
    I think with tattoos it’s a case of extreme moderation only. Now that bird in the picture’s got an arse to dream of. Something like a small butterfly tattoo on it could be really sexy for the guy lucky enough to get to rub oil on it. But as it goes, she’s just ruined herself. Extensive tattooing on blokes (Beckham style) looks chavish enough, on women it’s worse, and the bigger the munter, the grosser the effect.
    In the oddities stakes, there’s a skinhead in Edinburgh who’s whole upper torso is tattooed with bizarre images, and would you believe, on his forehead he’s got a fried egg. What a cunt.

    • A fuckn Fried Egg!!!! Hahahaha x 1,000,000.

      Made my day that, Ron. Thank you.

    • A fried egg on his forehead, What a bellend…I’d have more respect for the cunt if he had ‘Cunt’ written on it. The egghead kunt.

  20. Good cunting and very valid indeed.

    To me, tattoos, be they on a man or a woman, scream that the person donning them has the IQ of a house brick. They may look (ahem) ‘good’ when they are young, but picture them in 40 years time…..saggy, wrinkled, liver-spotted old bastards with some shrivelled up, faded bit of manky scrawl hanging off of their bingo wings.

    How delightful.

    Getting a tattoo just makes you a sheep, following all of the other thick sheep who have got one. It is far more interesting to find someone who actually HAS NOT got a tattoo these days.

    I just can’t fathom these stunning looking women who see fit to ruin themselves with this shit. My cousin is one of them. When she got married years ago, she had a lovely, off the shoulder dress…..which was totally ruined by the fucking awful, chavtastic tattoo on the back of her shoulder – a fucking football with the words ‘WEST HAM UNITED FC’ underneath it (she is a fanantical supporter, silly cow)

    Fucking awful. It looked hideous and screamed cheap, which she most definitely isn’t, which is why I cannot understand her logic in doing that to herself.

    CUNTS.

  21. Arms and legs looking like pieces of Stilton. Symptomatic of the ‘look at me’ age we live in, for people who have no personal qualities for them to stand out otherwise.

  22. There’s , an otherwise tasty, bird round my way who is known as “shitsplash.” This is because she not only has her arms covered in tats but also her legs. She looks like she has been walking along the road and a car has driven through a puddle and splashed all over her.
    Fucking shame.

  23. I hate tattoos. I hate stupid plumped up lips, stupid unnatural eyebrows, stupid fake eyelashes and just about every other “enhancement” that people waste their money on these days.
    I does sadden me that I’ll be gone before all these tatt-slaves get old and wrinkly and start needing parts of their skin grafted onto other parts of their bodies. I’d like to see it. It would make me laugh a lot. Knobs.

  24. Doesn’t bother me at all. I always have my eyes closed when shagging – can’t bear to see a woman enjoying herself. Or the occasional look of contempt.

    • Reminds me of my dad. He always used to say ‘if the body’s alright don’t worry if the face is like a bag of spanners. Stick a bag over it’.
      His other one was ‘don’t worry about what’s on the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire’.

  25. I have one tattoo, it was very well done, and on my shoulder and not visible unless I take my T shirt off.
    Unfortunately its in Cyrillic Serbian, the reason quite simply being if it was in Latin text fuckers would try and pronounce it and piss me off ( It says never forget).
    The down side is I often go back to the Balkans (proximity) and I sometimes bump into serbs and it can be a little “awkward” so I tend to keep my shirt on.

  26. The old adage… “If you can’t make your mark on the world you make a mark on your body”. So true.

  27. I don’t like tats but if I got home and found that girl in my bed, I’d overlook them for a while.

    Probably 40(ish) seconds actually…..

  28. Yeah, not going to lie – tatoos on birds is a turn off for me, it detracts from them big time.

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