Miserable Humourless Welsh Cunts

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any offence caused by this Welsh themed joke….and suggest you fuck off, you miserable cunt.


‘Comic Omid Djalili has upset some social media users in Wales with a joke about the Welsh language.

The comedian posted a picture of a road sign for Nantgaredig and the National Botanic Gardens of Wales, bearing the translation Gardd Fotaneg Genedlaethol.

Next to that the 53-year-old Londoner tweeted: “There are worse things than being Welsh, dyslexic & having a terrible stutter. But not many.”

The gag sparked a flurry of angry responses.

Marc Jones wrote: “Disappointing that someone with Iranian heritage reckons it’s OK to have a pop at a minority culture.”

There is a vein of these thick po faced cunts running through Welsh society. Usually they are Plaid Cymru cunts. They were around in my youth when we used to take the piss out of the earnest twats. The clue is in the way this Jones cunt spells his Christian name. Why not Ioans for his surname I wonder?
The English were ‘stealing all our water’ Perhaps the daftest claim even these cunts could come up with.
This is not a bad joke as modern jokes go and all proper Taffies will find it funny.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

62 thoughts on “Miserable Humourless Welsh Cunts

  1. There is a New World Order called “The Offended”

    Full-time winging, humourless cunts, surfing social media for the slightest wiff of controversy so that they can leap on their highest of high horses and exclaim “I am offended by that. I demand it should be banned!”

    • “and I demabd some compo”.
      Like that civil servant cunt in NI, who got thousands for being offended at having to see a portrait of The Queen- in a Government office.
      They should’ve just sacked the cunt for….well, being a cunt.

      • Total bollocks to that officious cunt, I’ve worked with many Nyungars, Indians, Chinese, Africans, Melanesians, Polynesians etcetera that proudly show deference to good Madge Bess.

      • Fuckin ell cuntstable! Only a few days ago i said the welsh are moody fuckers, you got indignant! Now your nominating your countrymen yourself?
        Miserable bastards hate it if a Englishman wishes them a hello or good morning, wtf?
        Few burning cottages and land appropriations would show these sour bastards to show manners to theyre

  2. What’s the difference between a plane and all the Poms aboard? The plane stops whining when it lands.

      • Please bear in mind my favourite joke is when someone shows up at immigration in Oz and the official asks if you have a criminal record? The response being, “I didn’t know I needed one anymore.

      • Me and my conjoined twin had to travel to Australia, because at the time it was the only country that could perform the necessary procedure.

        Separated at Perth….

  3. All the Welsh I know are miserable cunts, down the last.
    I have noticed of late, that some of the sheep-botherers, have started adding ‘Ap’ (like the Scots ‘Mc’) to their surnames to differentiate themselves from non-Welsh who share those names, and that was only brought to my attention after a few of the ‘Aps’ appeared in the news on all sorts of criminal charges. Before that, I’d never heard of it.
    Elitist, humourless cunts.

    • No aware of this Ap thing, what a load of old shit. I’m from Polish heritage, I going to pop some Z’s into my name lol

  4. Everybody regardless of country seems to demand to be offended at least once a day so they can rant on social media. Me too. Mrs. Boggs had Wimmins Hour on when I went to my workshop. They have a *guest editor* today – some 15 year old kid who is campaigning about periods at school – not lessons – the ones involving jam rags. Wireless 4 offends me all the fucking time now – I will have to start a Twatter account.#freefannywrappers4skool

    • Is she having some kind of mental disorder about being on the blob? Will she be demanding days off every month? They have already demanded free jamrags because they’re “so unaffordable” (bollocks are they!)

      Perhaps pre-teen boys should demand time off when they start having wet dreams, the wankers!

    • I’ve been living here for over three years (Cardiff).
      Sometimes it’s Caerdydd, sometimes it’s Gaerdydd.
      Same with Canolog / Ganolog for “Central.”

      If they can’t be arsed to make up their minds, why should I be arsed to learn their scrote language ? By the way, the English (I am 11 / 16 E) are welcome to oinch Welsh water; I just wish they could pinch it before it falls as rain, of which we get far too much. In any case, the Welsh language pinched most of its word from English…Boyo, beicio (bike), Pinocchio…

      I shall go and learn Hungarian; paprika-tasting pussy is the best diet I’ve ever done.

      However, I suspect a comedian from London is most likely a cunt…(Holland Pk School, an Oirish University to study Theatre Studies et al., lives in Chelsea…what’s not to cunt?) and I’m not Welsh !

      • hmmmm. Welsh is a ‘mutative’ language. The first letters of some words change depending on what precedes them. Ci = dog . dy Gi = your dog. fy NGHi = my dog.
        The letters change to MEAN something.
        English has one similar example viz: A dog AN eel.
        It isn’t stupid or made up. It is the rules of the language.
        Diolch, Thankyou.

      • I stand corrected !
        It seems that Gaerdydd is the “soft mutation” , althoughw Wiki, FWIW, suggests that many of these forms are hypothetical.

        I shall investigate a phrase-book. I may be gone some time…!

    • Fucking hell, you were on form then Dio. What a cunt “anonymous “ was / is. I love whales, I saw moby dick 11 times. Ah, you mean 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿. Never been able to stand the cunts apart from 2. Simon Weston and Joe Calzaghi The rest can die a long lingering death like the scotch and paddies without the Barnet formula

  5. I’ve been to Wales, no wonder they are all grim and miserable. Aberystwyth is a shit hole, Caernarfon is a bit better but there’s sod all there, ditto Conyw. No area is better than Gods own country Yorkshire, I wished I’d stayed at home. Also I can read the road signs in Yorkshire, we’re not that insecure that we need to ”Yorkshire” them; Ey up, Barnsley’s down’t road sythee. No fucking need at all. They should save the money to improve the shithole towns.

    • I went to wales for 3 hours, I bypassed the bridge, went to a furniture place somewhere, sat on a sofa farted.
      Then left the country never to return.( I lead such an exciting life)

      • I now have an image of farting sofas…I used to go past a sofa factory on way to coleg, and there always was a nasty smell.

        I wonder if CJ got his office chairs from the same firm ?

    • I normally have a sunny disposition. I am proud of my Welsh heritage of bestiality and theft. But to be insulted, nay, cunted by a grasping, tight-fisted cunt from Allah’s own county is beyond the pale.
      My response is:
      Bratford, Dewsbury, Leeds, Batley, Hali fucking fax, Hudders fucking field.

      I spent 9 long years working in fucking Yorkshire. A shithole from Saddleworth to the North sea.

    • You must have got a lift ,there’s no way any of you tight twats would pay for the fuel.lol

  6. Q: Ever wondered why there’s only a toll on the Severn Crossing as you go into Wales?
    A: No fucker’s going to stop people stampeding to get out.

    I’ve been there. It’s a nice place but the locals are rude arrogant self opinionated idiots.

    Q: what do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Cardiff?
    A: a leisure centre

    Here’s a few choice phrases :

    Yn fytyn FoolCau dy ben a stedd ar hwn – Shut your face and sit on this
    Cnuchu fy fam – Fuck your mother
    Cer adra’r cont o sais hyll! – Go home, you ugly cunt!
    Twll Din Pop Saes! – Arseholes to all Englishmen!
    Cadwch Cymru yn lan. Danfonwch y sbwriel i Loegr! – Keep Wales Tidy. Leave Your Rubbish in England!
    Pen pidyn – Dickhead
    Wyneb cach – Shit face
    Mwnci – Monkey
    Ast – Bitch
    Ci – Dog
    Ffwcia oma – Fuck Off
    Gotsan drewllyd – Smelly fanny
    Haliwr – Wanker
    Dos i chwarae efo dy nain – Go fuck your granny
    Ti’n llawn cachu – You’re full of shit
    Cont – Cunt
    Malu cachu – Bullshit
    Twllt din – Asshole
    Rhyw – Sex
    Hwran – Whore
    Bronnau fel bryniau Eryri – Tits like the mountains of Snowdon
    Cau Dy wyneb a Ffwcio dy ewyrth! – Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker
    Mae dy fam yn llyfu cociau mul – Your mother licks donkey dicks
    Cont Tew – Fat cunt
    Cau dy ffwcin ceg – Shut your fucking mouth
    Uffar gwirion – Silly bastard
    Pisho bant – Piss off
    Paid a malu cachu – Don’t bullshit
    Twp slebog – Stupid slut
    Ffwcin slebog – Fucking slut
    Coc oen – Lamb’s cock or dickhead
    Dos i chwarae efo dy nain – Fuck off (lit. ‘go play with your gran’)
    Mae dy fam ti yn ast salw – Your mum is an ugly bitch
    Cer i sychu fy penol fi – Go and suck my ass
    Bwyta fy gachu – Eat my shit
    Mochyn brwnt – Dirty pig
    Pen pigyn – Dick head
    Sugno fy nhi’n i cachwr – Go and scratch your mothers fanny
    Pigyn bach – Small dick
    Hwch / Hwren – Whore
    Paid a mallu cachau – Stop talking shit
    Dos i ffwcio dy hun y cont – Go and fuck yourself, you cunt
    Twll tin y gont hoyw – Up yours, you gay cunt!
    Cer i grafu – Fuck off!
    Dos i grafu – Get fucked ( lit. go scratch)
    Paid a malu cachu y twpsyn fach drewllyd – Don’t bullshit, you stupid smelly idiot!
    Cer i grafu y haliwr mawr tew – Fuck off, you big fat wanker!
    Rwyt ti’n esgys fach pathetic am dyn – You’re a pathetic little excuse for a man

    • Mwnci has something of Inspecteur Clouseau about it…

      Ffwcin and Cont very Derek & Clive.

      In CF24 it’s definitely a goat tied to a lamp-post…

  7. A Welshman goes for an eye test.

    Doctor. “Can you read this chart from top to bottom please”.

    Welshman. “Read it!?. I know the guy!”.

  8. I last went down to Wales in the early 80’s just as the mines were closing to see a cousin of mine. Rhondda valleys.
    Their was a lot of poverty but their were also an abundance of new cars everywhere because they had blown their redundancy on them.

  9. How the fuck are the Welsh a minority culture? The majority of people in Wales are fucking Welsh, not even the peacefuls will fucking live there.
    Popty-ping sheep shagging cunts the lot of them.
    Congratulations to Omid for saying something funny for the first time in 15 years. Honestly thought that cunt had been deported.

    • Cardiff is sadly as diverse, effnick and multi-cultured as Londonistan.
      I really wouldn’t mind more genuine “local” cunts around; except for GPs receptionists, who last week I referred to (at chemist’s) as clinical waste. The assistant giggled cutely, and the senior said “Which surgery do you go to?” On answering, her reply was”Oh…THAT one !”
      ’nuff said…

      • Perhaps I should have clarified. The major cities will always be packed with them, it’s the only place big enough to keep mohammed, his 6 wives and their 23 offspring. However they don’t seem to be *ahem* packing out the smaller communities. Probably because the small town welshies won’t take their shit.

  10. Omid Djalili was funny when he first came out. One joke about the only acting work he could get was playing terrorists. Something like ‘I was always the third terrorist from on the left’. Funny stuff about people moving away from him on the bus. Good to hear a funny voice from THAT side for once. The last few times though he has become so tame. Observational comedy about ‘his wife’ and stuff. Safe.

  11. I don’t understand why the title isn’t just ‘Welsh’, the other words are surely a given?

  12. Now now, leave the Welsh alone they are part of the original Britons before the Barbarian hoardes of Angles, Saxons and Jutes came and took over from the Jutland peninsula area. Apparently the Saxons word for the Britons was ‘Foreigner’…
    It now seems there are more Barbarian hoardes taking over 1000 years later.

    • You’re not starting to deny your heritage are you B&WC? You were only saying the other day that you were proud if being ‘Afro-Saxon’.

      • Not at all Miles, I’m proud of my Anglo-saxon heritage, my whitey families surname is Norman so my Anglo Saxon ancestors got their ass’ kicked by my Norman ancestors. Did a DNA test a while back and found that my English half is English without any Celtic.
        May God bless this land and its future.

  13. I sympathise with the Welsh on this one.

    They are Welsh after all, can;t be easy.

  14. To find a Welsh Humourless cunt, look no further than that virtual cabbage, Leanne Wood.

    Every time she opens her gob, her brain tumbles out of her mouth.

    Silly fucking sow.

  15. I’m Welsh, I have no problem with that. It’s a joke. The good thing about being properly British is that we can all take a joke.

    Unlike some cunting races…

    Do us a favour and stop doing one line nominations, yes we ask for brevity but you can go past 20 words!

    • I don’t write noms because I don’t know 20 words, and 4 of the ones I do know are ‘cunt’.

    • In fairness Admin I was distracted by a rather comely ewe…hence brevity. Normally I’m the kind of cunt who drones in for hours about how shit things are now.

      In future I shall close the curtains upon venting my spleen…

  16. Don’t tell me the Welshman who invented the language didn’t have a sense of humour. Or a serious speech defect. Have to say that if it’s the Welsh defence against the sais poaching their culture, it’s fit for purpose.

    Lived briefly in S. Wales, btw. No complaints at all, but yes, they did seem a bit serious.

  17. I think you’ll find that many of the people in Wales who support the Welsh language are fuckin’ trendy English exiles who think it’s so twee.
    These can be found all the way between Portmeirion and Port Talbot.
    One of them will be that woman protester who had Mark Field suspended. A professional agitator, born in Wigan and living in Mid Wales, she’ll almost certainly be learning Welsh.

  18. They have started to wear kilts now. The sound of the zipper was scaring the sheep away.

    It’s actually the North Welch that are cunts, even the South Welch hate them.

    As for the South well anyone who lives in a town with Pontycunt or Pandycunt in the name either knew or is related to Tom Jones.

    • Tom Jones, now your talking. He knew Elvis you know. Doesn’t like to talk about it.

  19. Dydw i ddim yn gallu penderfynu os ydych chi’n twp i gyd neu dim ond garw…

    I always wondered why the Welsh hated the English so much and why they couldn’t, seemingly, go forward instead of blaming the English for all their woes. From the above comments, I think maybe they’ve got a point ? Certainly a reciprocal contempt.

    That said, I’m English, have lived in Wales for 56 years and learnt the fucking language, to both O and A Level, which is more than some of the most ardent Welsh fanatics have bothered to do.

    There are miserable cunts in Wales, cunts in England, Scotland and Ireland too.
    A lot of them are natives….

  20. Got a couple of Welshies as neighbours, not sure if they are shy or ignorant but pretty much void of personality. As it’s a rented property Mrs Knott and I have seen varied tenants from Saffa’s who were fine and we still keep in touch with, Romanians who broke the mould and were diamonds, British coppers who had worse tyre tread on their motor than my wheelbarrow, then these 2 cunts ! Was elated when I found out they are fucking off back to Cardiff at the end of this month. Lord only knows who is next in as long as their dinner times don’t force me to go out or shut my windows if you know what I mean.

  21. Once upon a time, I used to give a fuck about the abuse us Welsh cunts used to get. Not banter, that’s usually good fun, but the snidey sneering crap. Plenty of English cunts live locally, mostly tidy folk, and more coming lately, as the white flight is in full flow, and the are still parts here that resemble the Britain they remember, bilingual road signs notwithstanding. Most people I know have no problem with this, and it is only the uppity cunts who think they are above everyone that get the cold shoulder. Anyway, I have the Gower one side, and the Brecon Beacons the other, both fantastic places on foot, or on the motorbike, so I couldn’t give a fuck.

    • Used to go to a nice place near Aberystwyth and the drive through from the south west is amazing, Wales is a beautiful country.

      • Indeed, I haven’t spent much time down that way, but I’ve been going more often on the motorbike, and there are some great places there. Can’t fault you, BWC!

  22. Just been in Snowdonia, stunningly beautiful, lucky if you live there, Barmouth was nice, most places I went were cracking.

  23. Cheers Mr Fiddler, that did make me chuckle. Once had to drive all the way to Holyhead from the home counties for work, through some stunning parts of Wales. We thought that we would have to endure a day with a Kinnock-like-pillock client …. turned out he was from our neck of the woods and had been living there for 14 years and was as sound as a pound!

  24. Only place i’ve been in Wales is Newport in the late 80’s, bit of a shit hole but the pubs where ok.

  25. Saw a very good information sign in a bus shelter in Holyhead on the Isle of Anglesey it was hand written and read

    Fifty per cent of the women in this town have VD the other fifty per cent have TB. Moral only fuck the women who cough.

    What sound advice is given by the Welshman who wrote that.

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