Michael Eavis (3)

Michael Eavis is a cunt, isn’t he?

Ahh it’s Glastonbury time of year. Cough up a mountain of money for much discomfort in a muddy, ill-organised event to listen to bland has-beens and Remoaner comedy while the greedy cunt with his head on upside down collects your cash. Peace, brother.

This is the cunt who admitted allowing human waste to pollute the land on which the festival is held in 2014. But he doesn’t give a shit about the effluence. “Oo-ah, as long as Oi makes tons of wonga” seems to be the mantra.

Glastonbury Festival is a highly polluting event totally dependent on the fossil fuel industry, pouring sewage into local watercourses, and brainwashing the festival-goers with safe music and kumbaya politics.

I wonder whether this money-grubbing bumpkin will hire hundreds of workers from across Europe on zero hours contracts and then fire them after just two days? You know, like he did at the previous Glastonbury in 2017. Embarrassingly, this was a week after Jeremy Corbyn’s appearance at the festival hugging Farmer Cunty and receiving rapturous applause for saying people need not “accept low wages and insecurity as just part of life”. Oo-aar, the irony!

Up to 600 workers were understood to have been laid off:-
Peace, brothers.

Furthermore, I doubt there was much chin-wagging; Corbyn would’ve wagged his Steptoe chin about Land Tax and turnip-muncher; Eavis would’ve wagged his Gary Glitter bearded chin back that Glastonbury wouldn’t exist if Steptoe were in charge. Oo-aar, the hypocrisy.

Typical farmer cunt, Eavis is a money-obsessed hypocrite masquerading as a hippy but frothing over every penny. He’s closer to the rats that swarm his mudshite festival. If the Dairy profits fail this year, be sure to get the whole shotgun barrel in your gammon-stinking mouth Eavis, you bearded, piece of shit pîkey.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

65 thoughts on “Michael Eavis (3)

  1. Glastonbury is for cunts. It is a laboutlr loving wank fest.
    Fuck em.

    Gay pride? Fuck off. A load of whistle blowing mincers.

    No more section 28, marriage rights.Nothing else to campaign about.

    Oh yeah: gays for Palestine. Remind me, when is the next gay pride in Gaza?

    • Section 28 – makes me nostalgic for Thatcher keeping all the loony left in check. Fuck me – all the lunacy has now become mainstream and normal. Mind you, I remember a rozzer friend mine being told back in the day about “gay rights” or some such shit. I think his career was over when he reminded the rozzer in charge that Section 28 had not been repealed at the time.

      Cunts to a man/woman/whatever

    • Whenever I get depressed(90% of the time) I always cheer myself up by replaying that video of Gaylords Peter Tatchell and Right said Fred in Moscow getting their arses kicked by the Ivans for protesting Putins laws against Bumfoolery.

  2. This garden-gnome impersonating cunt truly deserves to be coshed within an inch of his life.

    The cunt doesn’t fall far from the tree, either – his daughter Emily went through a phase of being an ‘authority’ in music magazines.

    It’s somewhat ironic that a humble shit-kicking cow-pat ridden field is annually the scene of some of corporate music’s worst excesses. Missing only the Cowell automaton machine, many of the acts at Glastonbury are nevertheless just as manufactured, just as auto-tuned and just as saccharine fare for the masses.

    As for father Glastonbury, the fucking cunt should have at the very least just remained the anonymous landowner. But he couldn’t, because he’s a cunt.

    • Flicking through TV channels the other day, I watched a bit of Glastonbury with Kylie Minogue. What a load fo fucking shit – she couldn’t hit the notes and there was some ponce mincing up and down behind here – what the fuck was that about? And when I saw the audience – fucking hell. It was making me cringe watching them. Grown men singing along. Not many non-whites there.

      The goat-fuckers must have been watching it – “you know what Ahmed, fuck this suicide bombing. The whiteys are fucked anyway, singing along to Kylie. We’ve won.”

      • Yeh I accidentally caught a bit of that as my sister had it on. Absolutely fuckin dire. Just going through the motions. She’s like Madonna, thinks her mere presence is enough. I’d need paying to watch either of them.

      • At the time of rave and ‘Madchester’ Kylie was rightfully despised… A tuneless pop puppet… A couldn’t act anyway soap star turned into a Pete Waterman processed product…. As manufactured and tweaked up as any of that Little Mix and X Factor dog dirt… Only 12 year olds and pooves liked Kylie records… Now she’s seen as ‘cool’ and acceptable and headlining what was once a credible festival… The rise in stock of Kylie Minogue is indicative of the decline in the standards of British culture and thinking….

      • Couple that with the ‘Cowelification’ of the entire music industry. A decade ago any suggestion the any of Simon Cowells ridiculous acts be considered for a BRIT award or spot on the Glasto stage would have been met with derision. Now its de rigour. What a fucking state.

  3. I wonder how much dough this fucking garden gnome screws out of the BBC? It’s obviously a mutual back scratching exercise………he supplies the libtard politics, the bland “modern parents” muzak while the Brussels Broadcasting Corporation chuck him great wedges of our money.
    Dr Goebbels must be turning in his grave, if he had one, at the thought of this baldy prick outsmarting him and making him look like a cunt.

  4. 200 notes a ticket? Fuck me, Paul Gadd’s long lost brother must be coining it in.

    Nevermind, you know what they say about a fool and his money. A colleague of mine, who is usually level headed, took leave of his senses last week and ‘enjoyed’ the Glasto experience. Utter overpriced and over hyped wankery.

    No fear, we will have him quarantined on his return before he can be released back into the office.

    Good nom. Eavis is indeed a solid gold, down with the groovers, money-rifling cunt.

  5. The biggest pile of hypocritical bullshit in a field.

    Greenpeace, water aid and Oxfam are all their supporting the festival like to hippy wank stains they are, even though, this isn’t in any way good for the environment, the fuel used in getting the punters, acts and equipment to the gig must be insane. People sit in traffic jams for hours to get there and leave, all with their engines running to dry off the human shit from their rubber boots. Diesel generators run for a week to power all the speakers and flashing lights, plus all the gas burned at their tofu, vegan, gluten free, friendship food stalls. Water aid asking for donations to give accessible water to Africa, all for this week of revellers to poison the water in Glastonbury, with shit, piss and vomit. And Oxfam, helping the poverty stricken, whilst mincing around with people who’ve just spent hundreds of pounds on drugs and alcohol and a ticket to get in to this pile of fuck event. And support the rockstars who are all paid millions for turning up and signing a few songs.

    It’s like Martin Luther King owning the amistad.

    • And I totally forgot to mention Micky here, the fucking upside down head cunt. Because of the behemoth this festival of cunt has become, he can now demand anything he wants, he must be rolling in it. Because the show must go on for the sheep who still truly believe that todays musicians world views are actually worth a fuck. And so will sell their kidneys to get in and listen to mista Stormzy talk about knife crime and how politics don’t work for him because he’s black or something. The whole thing needs to fuck off.

      • No doubt the CEO’s of Oxfam, Water aid etc who are probably on £200,000 a year get free complimentary tickets for them and there cunts friends.
        What a pile of cunt.

  6. How do they stop cunts bunking in anyway? There can’t be much more than some rickety wire fence keeping people out. When I was a kid we used to bunk in to football, cinema and any outside event with a wire fence was a piece of piss.
    I don’t suppose these snowflakes have the bottle for it and have plenty of dosh anyway. Bunch of cunts.

    • I still bunk into things now in my 50s when I think they’re taking the piss. I’d like to lead a revolution against the £4 charge to drop off at Stansted. However, we’re all gutless, unlike residents of Hong Kong. Lovely to see them raising the British Hong King flag – fuck off all those who bleat on about how bad Imperialism is. Ask the Hong Kongies if they’d want us back.

    • Expect the security to stop you getting into Glastonbury is a lot stricter than that which should be stopping cunts getting into the EU.
      Eavis should be taken to the farm next door and feed to the pigs.

  7. I’m not so sure about this cunting. Seeing a farmer milk a bunch of trust fund snowflake prats as well as a money pit state dinosaur such as the BBC instead of having to bust his guts farming means I have some respect for this crafty old bugger.

    • P.S why isn’t that Jabba tounged frycook cunts picture on the wall yet? Not that I’m keen to see his puffy mug every time I visit this site

  8. Can’t see what’s so Cuntish about ripping off a bunch of middle-class Wankers and the BBC. Good on him,I say.

    Of course, a lot of Townie types are just jealous because some “bumpkin” has again got the better of them, and their tax-credit money doesn’t stretch to buying a ticket…never mind,Plebby Types,perhaps you can have an Iceland-food Barbeque type party in your back yard,complete with “Now that’s what I call music” tape blasting out from your 15 year old Vauxhall….
    Don’t forget to shut the garden-gate, your Pikey neighbours might barge their way in and steal your Watney’s PaleAle party-pack.

    Fuck Off.

    • “Can’t see what’s so Cuntish about ripping off a bunch of middle-class Wankers and the BBC. Good on him,I say.”

      My sentiment exactly Mr Fiddler.Much as I detest the Wankfest that Glastonbury has become at least it’s the Hooray Henrys who are being ripped off.And to give him his due the Eavis cunt does raise a lot of money for charity whilst pissing himself at the antics of the coked up posh boys and gals.

  9. 900 acres at about £10,000/acre plus farm building etc. gives his farm a value of around £10million. Not bad. No inheritance tax for young Emily. He probably puts all the profits through the farm, so more write-offs there. The cunt knows what he’s doing. Typical fucking champagne socialist.

  10. His head really does look like it’s on upside down.
    Funny how both him and Corbyn resemble rejects from a garden gnome factory…

  11. No more Glastonbury posts please. My right arm is ready to fall off after Komodos post yesterday.
    Oh Alison you little minx you.

    • In those days, ‘fit’ meant just that, eh? Glad someone shares my tastes and horse tail fetish.
      Incidentally, the singer got a whole lot better as time went on, but the act didn’t, IMO.

  12. He looks like a whitey snackbar with his shaved head and long beard.
    I bet he makes enough money via Glastonbury to not have do any farming all year round the fat gnome cunt.
    Bet the BBC help him get his EU subsidy as well… I might pay a couple of crackhead to shit on his farm.
    Go fuck yourself.

    • To be honest though if I had his land etc I’d do the same and probably grow some ‘Herbs’ for the rest of the year. Gotta make ends meet an all that.

  13. Off topic but everytime a plane flies to Lutonistan or Stansteadabad airports it flies over west London… So I now have to keep an eye out for some cunt who may land on the roof terrace whilst I’m having a Tanquray.
    It’s enough to make me wanna move to Tower Hamlets… No cunt would land there.

  14. Eavis is a nasty, devious cunt disguised as a dippy country idiot to reduce the feel of an old-fashioned factory owner, for that is what Glastonbury really is. A huge factory churning out money selling the rock’n’roll rebellion myth and this devious pig fucker paying off the locals to keep schtum and passing hush money to the council whilst ensuring he’s photographed near the charity posters as if he’s Oskar Schindler. I hope he’s found out one day, the fuzz grab him by his “sex tourist in Vietnam” beard and stick him where he belongs.

  15. Red sky at night, money’s not tight.
    Red sky in the morning, give the workers warnings.
    Red sky in the evening, sack ‘em and the coffers are bulging.

    Ohhh arrrr.

    Fuck off.

  16. Not to mention the disruption his cuntfest causes for many small businesses in the Glastonbury area or the money they lose… It’s all ‘on site’ at ‘Glasters’ with ‘official’ food stalls (mostly vegan excrement), piss poor lager (or is it Pimms these days, Tarquin?) and those hippy cunts who sell all that straw doll shit… They’re all in with the old cunt and on the Eavis/Glasto gravy train… And normal decent and hard working cafes, pubs and shops just have to lump it because ‘Farmer Michael (Oo Arr!)’ is well in with the council… Makes me heave that Eavis and his cronies still try to sell their ‘festival’ as some sort of rustic Fiddler’s Dram bollocks and a gathering for the people like the May Days of Olde England… When in actual fact it’s a soulless corporate monster run with Stalinist precision and a playground for the middle to upper classes (and celebricunts)… It is also now a propaganda vehicle for the left and their fascist liberalism… Which is also a lie and total hypocrisy….nFor all his liberal bullshit (and that of his disgusting misandrist daughter), Eavis is a money grabbing cunt of Glazer proportions… As someone mentioned here: Morrissey was prevented from showing a film about how dairy cows are treated… Real ‘Caring Sharing Co-Op’ stuff that from the ‘Gentleman Farmer’ isn’t it?… The rapacious hypocritical old boil…

    Oh, and isn’t Jo Wile E a monumental arselicking BBC drone of a cunt?….

  17. Glastonbury, not actually in Glastonbury but sounds better with more “spiritual cred” than “Pilton festival” – actually Pill-town would be more apt since the only way a person could enjoy possibly the worst camping experience ever is if they’re high or drugged up on something. In amongst the rat infested squalor of something akin to a rescue camp in a hurricane zone, is the sound of truly soul deadening muzak, the likes of which would more properly be heard in a 1970s department store. While you sit and drool at Kylie or some other god awful plastic crap you can quaff down another bucket of lentil swill or a Linda Mcartney Soylent burger. All the while that minging bearded cunt laughs all the way to Coutts and Co at the sheer stupidity of this global pyramid worshipping freak fest.

    • The only appealing part is drooling at kylie, although it would be in the privacy of a sex dungeon.

  18. Glastonbury is well worthy of a cunting. An over-hyped, bigged up pile of cow shit with cow shit acts, a cow shit audience of pink-haired cunts who think they are cool as fuck because they are going to a cool as fuck festival, and the list goes on and on.

    Michael Eavis actually gives two million pounds every year to charity, much of it to small, local charities and projects. Granted he has ten million in the bank (supposedly as a buffer for the unpredictable nature of putting on a festival) but at least he gives something back which is more than can be said for most moneyed cunts.

    What makes him a cunt in my eyes is the fact the he supports Catweazle and badger culling, the boggy, yokel cunt.

    I personally would like to cull that hairy animal residing on his fucking chin.


  19. Top cunting Capt.

    I used to be quite indifferent to Glastonbuggery but reading more about the hypocrisy, the corporate wank and political posturing over the last few years had made me detest it.

    A bit like the EU.

  20. I’m sick of tired of the annual Cuntsonbury Festival, with its Jezbollah groupees and John Snow pretending to be a hip millennial by shouting “ fuck off Tories”, and now this Hobbit reject minting money.

    Nuke the lot of them. Problem solved.

    • Serves him right for booking a “yurt” the fucking hipster. In my day they were called “tents”.

    • Classic example of a cunt who has far too much money and nothing worthy to do with it.

      I don’t care how much fucking money someone has, to spend what many people don’t even earn in a year on bloody festival tickets and a glorified tent, just to mingle with so-called ‘celebrities’ is beyond obscene.

      Glad that it all went tits up for the flash, self-indulgent cunt.

    • And tonight on BBC1, Last Of The Summer Wine with this week’s special guest….Gary Glitter!

      🎵 “I’m the Leader…” 🎵

  21. The 50th anniversary of the death of Brian Jones is imminent… Fuck knows what he’d have thought of ‘Glasto’… Fuck knows what he’d think of the Stones now (who played at ‘Glasto’) come to that…

  22. The Morrissey haters are out in force again… But these same cunts are also bigging up the chocolate knob that is ‘Stormzy’…. Yep, the same ‘Stormzy who posted scores of anti-gay tweets between 2011 and 2014… Oh, I forgot… He’s black so he gets a free pass…

    What hypocritical and selective scum the liberal left really are…


    • Expect Liverpool train stations not to be taking his posters down with immediate effect.

  23. Here are my top five highlights of Farmer Cunty’s Glastonbury 2019:


  24. Yeah, this cunt fucked over the “new age”travellers at the 95 one. they just turned up at his doorstep and caused this wanker grief as they should.
    C U N T!

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