National Treasures (2)

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A huge cunting for “ National Treasures”.

As soon as someone is declared a “ national treasure” then you can be sure that person is an utter cunt, viz –

Clare Balding – lezzer and cunt.
Eddie Redmayne – crap actor and cunt.
David Attenborough – global warming gobshite and cunt.
David Beckham – ponce and cunt.
Jamie Oliver – cunt food purveyor and cunt.
JK Rowling – illiterate cunt.
David Dimbleby – broadcaster and cunt
Kate Moss – skinny drug addict and cunt
Jo Brand – unfunny ugly cunt obsessed with her cunt
Miranda Hart – unfunny ugly cunt obsessed with her tits.
Allen Bennett – professional Yorkshireman and cunt.
Grayson Perry – cunt.

I rest my case.

Cunts.

Nominated by Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine

124 thoughts on “National Treasures (2)”

  1. Eddie Izzard
    Grayson Perry

    Utter transbending cunts.

    Go to Saudi with your drag on and see what happens…

    Fuck off and die of Ebola.

  3. Another very worthy nom from MMCM. I can’t believe that Graham Norton failed to get on the list,the smarmy cunt.

    • A good nomination. The hysterical Irish poof is definitely a National Treasure and therefore a CUNT.

      My list was not exclusive so please feel free to add your own favourite National Cunts.

      • Sir Jimmy used to be classed a national treasure didnt he? Newspapers fawning all over him, doing marathons smoking big cigar, then …scrap the statue, hes a monster.

    • How about Jammy Eclair, of dry itchy cunt fame ?
      The cunt.
      My first thought on seeing the pic was that Fergie (the Muchess of Pork, not the footy bloke) had really let herself go, but I think it’s Gayson Perry.
      Excellent cunting, MMCM.

  4. I could have expanded my list of National Treasures/ Cunts ad infinitum-

    Stephen Fry – pompous fat git and cunt.
    Benedict Cumberbatch – know it all actor and cunt.
    Paul Merton – unfunny sarcastic cunt.
    Gordon Ramsay – wanker and cunt.

    Anyone touted as a freaking “ National Treasure” is a guaranteed CUNT.

    • Benedict cucumberpatch is a shitty actor an a straight up mong, how this rich privileged turd ever got a national treasure title is beyond me Also don’t forget elton john another national treasure cunt

  5. Barbara Windsor – talentless mockney shitbag cunt.

    Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini – tuneless Geordie Chav cunt

  6. Stephen Fry would be my pick for ‘national treasure’ cunt. Smug up his own arse (when not gerbilling) luvvie wanker.

    • All “National Treasures” are also “iconic”

      The three most over-used words in the English langauge and they mean fuck-all. I suspect Elton John is another of these National Treasures.

      The list would be considerably reduced if there was a rule of no pooftahs.

      • Good point. As soon as a gay sleb appears they are automatically proclaimed a “ National Treasure”, although a “ National Embarrassment” would be closer to the truth. Why are we such utter suckers for gays in this country ( if you’ll forgive the use of the word “ sucker” in this context). Gay slebs are invariably utter cunts.

    • Agree 100% LL
      Fry is such a towering cunt of self satisfaction its truly jaw dropping, without question fry’s biggest fan is himself…….

      • QI stands for Quaint and Irrelevant.

        Fry was playing to the public perception of him on that show, which also has the same cunts – like Sue Perkins – on week after week.

        I dont mind him when he presents stuff on his own or encounters similarly well-read individuals. At least he knows his place if he encounters a Jordan Peterson or Christopher Hitchens, the lattee of whom he never tried debating because he knew he’d get a thrashing

  7. You RACIIIIISSSTTTTT !!!!

    I’m horrified, I’ve never seen so many white faces in one place. Don’t you know that Diversity is Our Strength?
    Mo Farah
    Lenny Henry
    Any Tarry Footballer or,indeed,any Tarry person at all who isn’t actually detained at Her Majesty’s Pleasure.

    plus you have forgotten our Greatest National Treasure….James Fucking-Corden….you Fattist Fascist.

    You should be DePlatformed.

    Fuck Off.

    • We’re all National Treasures unless you voted for “Brexit”, in which case you’re a vicious thug who has no place in a Modern Britain.

    • Dawn French comes to mind Mr Fiddler. She’s fat but he hasn’t listed her as a national treasure. When we all know she is one. What about Peter Kaye? He’s a fatty well. Nowhere in the list. Its all thinnies like Kate Moss, ‘beanpole: Miranda Hart. Mind you Jo Brand’s got some weight on her.

      • My list is not exclusive – just representative, Miles. There are dozens of national treasures, unfortunately. Feel free to add your favourites.

      • I’m afraid that we’re dealing with a bigot of the worst kind,Miles…..Fuck knows what MMCM would have to say about Diane Abbott in the privacy of his Blackshirts’ Rally….Fat and Coloured!!…MMCM will be apoplectic at the very thought.

      • I’m more than apoplectic at the thought of the Flabott. Flat out and cold, more like.

      • This list is SO lacking in diversity MMCM. I’m sorry but we’re sick to death of bummerz, trannies. What about the disabled? That Tanny -Palmer what’s her face. Everone says she’s a national treasure. Have you got her down? No. What about midgets? Poor Warwick Davis deserves the epithet ‘national treasure’ more than any one. Absent. It’s not tenable. In fact its a fucking disgrace.

      • Another non- pc error! Will I ever be forgiven by the scrupulously pc members of ISAC? You’re right Miles, Warwick Davies is indeed an utter CUNT.

      • What about that flidcunt that does the maltesers ad?
        CUNT.
        Or that other complete fucking mongtard “comedienne” whose act is basically takinf the piss out of herself?
        CUNT.
        Any retard/spazzer/flid in a wheelchair is normally automatically promoted to “national treasure” as soon as they appear on TV.
        SHould be in a fucking circus.

        Get fucked.

      • Don feckin French. I didn’t split my sides laughing, I bloody decomposed and burst open, waiting for anything remotely funny. Re the famous Feargal ambition of a white wimmin and a BMW, I wonder if Mr. French correspondingly drives a Trabant, or possibly an NSU ?
        Colin Fart is another cunt, but I always enjoy films where his character gets killed off. (Born Equal – Robert Carlyle is a much better actor), and the ruined remake of Tinker, Tailor. Wasn’t Bendadick CuntyMcPrickface a disaster in that as Peter Guillam ?

      • Yeah he was shit. They made ladies-man Guillam into a gaylord just for him. Probably.

    • My apologies Mr Fiddler. I shall see mediately non- platform myself for failing to name a single ethnic National Treasure. There are many of them and they are all CUNTS. 😂

      • Too little,too late,MCMM….I have a Maccy D’s milkshake ready for you. I’ll show you that intolerance has no place in this Modern Country.

      • Oh no!

        Still, better than having the naked Flabott grinding on my face 🤮

      • I bet you’d love to have those meaty saddle-bags hanging over your chin while her greasy KFC essence slowly dribbled onto your probing tongue….You’re an utter disgrace.

  8. George Michael would likely have been labelled a National Treasure had he not succumbed to the devastating health effects of cocaine, cock and fois gras.

    The great big fudge nudger.

  9. I’m never moderated…I,of course, keep my comments within the bounds of good-taste and decency.

    Fuck off fiddler I spewed on my keyboard when I read your Abbot comment, good taste? may be finger licking to you, but really!

    • The only word I used that could have canned me was a 5 letter word beginning with f that is the name of a sweet, light brown, soft confectionery.

      I am truly dumbfounded.

      • I think that it is just genuinely random,Paul. It seems to have spells of picking up on some innocuous post,while something far more “meaty” goes sailing through.

        Fucking annoying,all the same.

      • It could have been cocaine.

        If this post appears then it must be f7dge instead.

      • Well, bang goes my Nomination for old-style Confectionery that enjoyed a reputation for “fingering” and “filling you up” as a child….guess I’ll have to do one on Gary G. Litter,instead.

      • F7dge? oh my is that the new drug kids are taking no wonder they are so fucked up nowadays

  10. Moderation needs nomination eh? Dame judi Dench, Emma Thompson and Elton is definitely a national treasire,as i suspect olivia colman, they love that goofy boggle eyed cunt dont they?

    • Have you noticed how many National Treasures are ugly. I think we are arriving at the definition of a National Treasure –

      Gay and/or
      Ugly and/or
      Fatuous
      Supercilious
      and/or
      Ethnic and/ or
      Left wing and
      Remainer

      That’s it.

      Fuck off.

  11. Lorraine Kelly is a national treasure. Perched on her sofa like a bloated cat spewing her twee opinions in ever-increasing frumpy costumes and giggling like a coy 17-year old. She makes me vomit.

    Probably voted Remain and probably rubs cuddly toys on her labîa in the dressing room.

    • And I STILL can’t understand a fucking word she says! Anybody who tells you otherwise is a liar and a cunt!

  12. Cliff Richard. Cunt, but he sued the BBC so he can’t be all bad.

  14. The ‘Lionesses’, I’ll guarantee you, when they ‘come home’. The media’ll be tripping over themselves to laud (more) fucking plaudits on ’em despite ‘Wimmins’ football being a minority interest.

    • I’m going further DCI GC
      If they manage to make even the semi finals and lose they will be wheeled out at the BBC sport cunts of the year!! Maybe the BBC will commission some medals for semi finalist losers to bestow on the wiminz…….

  15. How people quickly forget Drink Driver Drug taker.Unfunny talentless pair of cunts now never off the telly

    • But the pair of cunts are doing bank adverts on the TV. Cunts advertising cunts. Funniest thing I heard was when a bloke went into a pub (think it was in London’s west end) and said “which one of you is Ant” and then punched him in the face. Priceless.

  16. Any fucker that has to deal with the General Public in their job is indeed a National Treasure… And quite often, the patience of a fucking saint.

  18. Number 1 National Treasure
    Paul McCartney one of The Fab Four
    Do me a favour one of the biggest wankers on the planet Tight fisted git par exultance This cunt wants to hurry up and die (I’ve had him in my dead pool for the last year) do the decent thing and snuff it.

    • I did read somewhere that he donates lots to charity and paid shit-loads for something to do with a hospital, (in this country and I can’t remember what), and is actually a pretty nice bloke, but doesn’t harp on about it to the media and prefers to donate quietly. But then, what the fuck do I know – I’m just an ‘ambulance driver’ according to Jeremy ‘National Treasure’ Clarkson. The Titanium Cunt.

      • Lennon and Yoko Fucking Ono were bigger cunts… Macca has shown cuntish qualities in recent years: marrying that one legged slagbag, working with Kanye Cunt and Fatfuck Corden, bigging up Kilary Clinton… And Ringo is a cunt for banging Barbara Bach in her prime…. Gets the Beatles drummer job? Marries Bach? Ringo, you spawny cunt…

      • And George was a cunt for spouting hippy bollocks, forming the Travelling Cuntberrys and shagging Patti Boyd on a regular basis… His second wife was pretty tasty and all…

      • C’mon you lot Paul McCartney donated a huge sum to a vulnerable amputee. Most of his fortune in fact.

      • He bought her a plane for Xmas……and a Phillishave for the other leg.

        Boom Boom.

        Get fucked,

      • All tax deductible my friend
        He’s the sort of pompous twat that thinks I will donate money to this and that cause and at least I have some say in where my taxes go Unlike the rest of us obnoxious horrible bastard of the highest order a proper cunt

  19. What about that dar-key spacca in a spacca chariot that does the travel show on BBC. Fuck me you don’t get more PC than that. Plus he’s an irritating little mongoloid.

  20. More national treasure cunts,..

    Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Verslagsi/Onedirectiontwat/Whatever
    ‘Dame’ Helen Miranov
    Only Cunts & Horses
    Steve Coogan/Alan Partridge
    Susan ‘Eddie Large’ Boyle
    Gary Lineker
    Phoebe Waller Cunt
    ‘Glasto’ and those Eavis cunts
    Jamie Oliver
    Bear Gryls
    Amanda Hold ’em
    Rita Oral (like Miranov, not even British)
    Adele Arbuckle
    The Spice Girls
    Jonathan Woss
    Benderdict Cunterberdinck
    Tom cunting Jones
    Robbie Williams
    Mark Rylance
    Downton crappy Abbey
    Killing fucking Eve
    Game of Cunts
    Harry bastard Potter
    Emma Twatson
    Andy Murray (and his horrendous mater)
    Those ‘Lionesses’ tarts who can’t play football
    Mumford and Cunts
    Gareth Southgate
    James Corden
    Lily Mong
    French and fucking Saunders
    Absolutely Fabulous(ly shite)
    Naomi ‘psycho’ Campbell
    Fat Reg (aka ‘Sir’ Elton of John)

    • My favourite list!!
      A true smorgasbord of the finest cunts on offer 👍

      A few more choice cunts…..
      Mel giedroyc and Sue Perkins
      Lewis Hamilton
      Ian hislop

    • Not forgetting Gok Wan, fashion consultant, tv presenter, sleb, high-pitched, shrieky arsebandit, appropriately an anag of Go Wank.

  21. And although he has shown cuntish traits in the past, I reckon Morrissey should get proper national treasure status… Anyone who boils left wing piss like he does will do for me…

    • Yes Norman. Ole Morrisey has gone right up in my estimation. Could he be Dick Fiddler , they seem to share the same values.

      • Are you insinuating fiddler is a poof fenton?, tread carefully m8…

        You can still walk this back before Dick releases the hounds on you agreeing with morrisessy is one thing but saying Dick Fiddler is secretly morrisessy is straight up libel and a ambitious claim to make

        The smiths were alright had a few good ones but mainly overrated favourite song is the instrumental draize train it should of been a single honestly

  22. And let’s not forget the ultimate National Treasures – Al-Beeb and the NHS 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

  23. All those Doctor Who cunts

    Russel T Bender
    David ‘Scenery Chewer’ Tennant
    Jodie Whittacunt
    Steven Moffatt
    Mark Gaytiss
    Cunt Chibnall
    Cafferine Fackin Tate
    Bill The Black Lezza Wonder Horse

    • And Jonathan Nathan-Turner, who fucked up the original series so much that Michael Grade happily pulled the plug…

  24. Some megacunts that have NT status….

    Sandi Toksvig
    Emily Mathis/Maythis/Maith— Fuck it
    Carol Vordercunt
    Nadia Bake Off BBC Pet Peaceful

    And a special mention for Olivia Coleman… A premium luvvie national treasure cunt… Massive (like her teeth)…

    • Maitlis?
      I would love to see Emily Maitlis and Dominic grieves love child! ( chin chinery chin chinery chin chin cheroo)

      Pair of cunts…….

  25. The R2-D2 in drag thing that ‘pulls the best man’ (Ha fucking Ha) in those ludicrously PC Maltesers adverts…

    The Go Compare fat opera cunt…

    And those crappy Ivan meerkat cunts…

    • I’d bang the fuck out of the Maltesers mute in the yellow jumper whose hearing aid gets swallowed by the dog, though…

  26. A lot of racism by omission here. So may I give you Baroness Floella Benjamin…….. recently associated with the Windrush Generation memorial coming soon to Waterloo station. Lest we forget where those dead architects, promising footballers and talented rap artists originally came from.
    Not to mention the fact that you used to jerk off over Floella back in the 70’s, thus proving what a welcoming and tolerant country we are,

    • I see in the paper today that the BMA/GMC (not sure which one, but a load of twat doctors) have said it is “racist” to not treat foreigners on the NHS. What cunts. The fact is that most of them are foreigners themselves, so are just looking after their own. Like me, I’m sure most of the people in Britain are happy to see their taxes used to treat the whole of Africa and the Indian sub-continent. The only thing that might stop it is Oxfam and the like as the feeble-minded would no longer need to send money to them to look after “little Amakundi” and the like. Cunts.

  27. Most national treasure share the same middle name.
    And that name is Fucking.
    As well as some of the worthy noms already accounted for, I’d like to add a few more;
    Alan Fucking Titchmarch
    Giles Fucking Brandreth
    Sir Trevor Fucking McDonald
    Carol Fucking Kirkwood
    David Fucking Mitchell

    • And Mitchell’s fucking tool of a wife (Victoria Coren) who is on everything remotely “comedic” (and, thus, unfunny). And then there is Victoria’s brother, Giles “I’m a cunt” Coren.

      • However their father, Alan Coren, was not so much a cunt as a cunter, albeit in a very polite mode. Generational decline.

  28. How could any of you cunts leave Joanna Lumley off your lists? Hang your heads in shame.

    • I’ve seen better loking hoes in the back of Moscow taxis… going back to 1981, as well.

  29. A superb and richly deserved cunting. However, the list seems excessively small. I’m sure if one put one’s mind to it, there would be thousands. There will be almost 650 from the House of Commons alone, plus 100% of the Lords (I don’t even know how many useless cunts there are there). Plus past PMs. That’s before we even get onto “slebs”. However, it will be a good party game, or something for the family to do on a long car journey.

    • I have to agree. How could we not include our very own Theresa May? A national treasure par excellence, and should be remembered for doing her very best – to fuck up Brexit.

  30. Sir Michael Parkinson……..professional Yorkshireman, sleb arselicker and massive BBC bore.
    Singlehandedly exploited millions of old people by bunging them a fucking fancy biro.
    Respect!

    • Like that other professional Northerner, Sara Cox. “Eye, I love t’north. That’s why I live in Tufnell Park, but keep going on about Bolton.”. Like Cilla Black, the Beatles etc. I also love the north of England and if I had family there, I would live there. As it happens, I live in the South East, near London. And I fucking HATE London. If they ever interview me for a magazine article, I will say Londonistan is a cunt-hole.

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