Michael Barrymore (4)


A Strike It Ducky, poolside with optional recreational drugs cunting please for ageing former queen of low rent TV, Michael Barrymore, who is still whining about his lack of success this century:


Poor Micky – he has lost his *career* which consisted of making brain dead quiz shows for the old ITV network calculated to appeal to old ladies of both sexes who went to the studio in coach parties to clap on cue and eat chocolates and then watch themselves on the telly months later, before ITV became an oasis of non-stop Emmerdale Farm, Coronation Street and Simon Cowell overacting with a heap of cheap amateur talent. Hard luck – a young bloke lost his life, having been assaulted by various of Barrymore’s “artistic” friends , after being picked up in a cheap boozer and encouraged to take drugs and drink and take part in their fun and games – Barrymore’s wife was used in Barrymore’s cynical ploy to persuade his bosses and the public that he was as straight as the next bloke, by being his beard for decades and then got cast off when he realised the public would still accept his cheeky chappy act, iron or not . Like the swimming pool man, she too died a few years later. Two lives in their 30s and 40s lost compared to Barrymore’s stinking patronising cheap “career”?

Barrymore still has his health and strength, could presumably still work in cheap concert party entertainments at the end of the pier (the best place for him), and even had his gay secrets never became known (and they were only discovered when the daft piss artist blurted it out in one of his drunken interviews), TV has moved on in twenty years and there is no longer the budgets or the will (or the audience) to make weekly weak comedy quiz shows. Barrymore might as well shed a tear that The Golden Shot and Celebrity Squares and Play Your Cards Right and Take Your Pick all bit the dust decades ago and won’t be coming back.

He seems to be another self-entitled luvvie queen who thinks he has the right to be where he wants to be when he wants to be there, despite the fact that public taste changed long ago. The moaning, bloated minimally talented arsehole is waving at a parade that passed him by over twenty years ago. Sad for him, but nobody else.

You are looking your age now Barrymore, your naughty boy persona has been replaced by irritating pensioner moaner, your tired old jokes are even more decrepit than you yourself. Just shut the fuck up. You are yesterday’s man, thank goodness.

Nominated by Caught speeding

38 thoughts on “Michael Barrymore (4)

  1. All I remember about Barrymore is him behaving questionably with the lady OAPs on Strike it Lucky.

    If his career has long gone, then in truth it probably has more to do with his era of ‘entertainment’ than anything else. Cunts like Paul Daniels and that weirdo with Orville the Duck were similarly jettisoned by TV and to my knowledge, neither of them had worn any strangers like a pair of Marigolds in their outdoor pool.

    Barrymore has shown a distinct lack of true remorse for the dead bloke found on his premises all those years ago; making no secret of his priority grieving for his career instead.

    Instead of living in the past, Barrymore should have ‘fixed the roof while the sun was shining’ and been prudent during those fairly lengthy years he had in the sun. He has no chance of returning to mainstream TV so he should just accept it and fuck off, the shiny-foreheaded cunt.

    • Cant seriously believe he’ll get another shot at saturday primetime tv? Dead bodies floating in your swimming pool full of drugs & spunk are still a no-no, even today. Stop fucking whining you budget basil fawlty and get another job! Lifeguards probably off the table though.

  2. Comedians have a limited shelf life and are lucky if they last more than ten years on tv. That’s why they are notoriously careful with their money. Tommy Cooper was as tight as a gnats chuff as are Ant and Dec, so they say. Most of them realise that times change and younger cunts come along to take their place.
    Some cunts on here were complaining about Monty Python the other day……. it’s just not funny. Well it isn’t now. I was watching some Blackadder the other day, which used to make me piss myself. To be honest I barely smiled and found some of it fucking irritating.
    Barrymore must be a cunt if he doesn’t know his time has gone.
    Whatever happened to Phil Cool?

    • Phil Cool – decent bloke by all accounts and I liked him.

      Comedy seldom ages well. The Thick Of It was great in the day but it’s embarrassing to watch now. Larry Sanders ditto.

      Monty Python*? Fucking self-indulgent unfunny Oxbridge types fawned over by Yanks – and that’s surely the biggest insult to any self-respecting UK comedian’s reputation?

      Ruth Davidson is Kim Jong Un’s secret twin.

      * Arch-twat Cleese’s recent description of Londonistab was hilarious.

    • He retired Freddie (Phil Cool that is). An interesting and intriguing anecdote from the rubber faced man himself
      “he feels the prevailing style doesn’t suit his comedy”.
      He is 71 so maybe the snowflake / millennial cunts wouldnt understand anyone who cant make a show without taking the piss out of Brexit and the Donald. He lives in Chorley Lancashire – another good reason for his TV career to have died – he is outside the M25 and not residing in Krankieland, Taffland or Norn’ Iron’.

      • But how did Phil get on the telly in the first place? I mean he couldn’t have had much impact on stage………if you weren’t In the first five rows you couldn’t see his fucking face.

  3. Excellent cunting!!
    Without question one of the most irritating cunts to blight our TV screens in the 80,s /90,s , from his ridiculous walk to his “catchphrase “ if you can call shouting “ All RIGHT” whilst sticking your thumb up that? Barrymore’s removal from our screens was and still is appreciated by many who had to endure his butlins red coat act for what seemed an eternity!
    Any thoughts of a comeback should be instantly dismissed, Barrymore’s act was old hat 20 years ago and unlike like a fine red he won’t have improved with age, even with the plethora of TV channels I seriously doubt any of them would touch this tarnished relic with even the shittyest of barge poles

  4. A most worthy cunting. I think the cunt has some brass neck; that poor Lubbock chap was fished out of his pool, stone dead with an arsehole the size of a dinner plate, and all this cunt can whinge about is how the whole affair has destroyed his career?

    I cant stomach this belly aching, Bermondsey-mumbling, lanky, whiff of lavender cunt.

    “Alright at the back”? Fuck right off

  5. Bit unfair.

    I’m already devising a come-back show for Michael which,hopefully, Channel 4 will take into production. A reality show called “Strike it Lucky Right Up My Hotspot”,it will be a mixture of Celebrity Big Brother, and the old board game Cluedo. (still got to work out a way in which the result isn’t always “Michael Barrymore.In the deep end. With a baseball bat”.
    It will involve the cheeky chappie, Michael, hosting a week long bash for the Great and the Good…Tom Daley.Stephen Fry,James Corden,Gary Lineker,David Walliams, David Cameron, Elton John etc. Viewers will get to vote every night on which attention-seeking Cunt gets to end the evening in the Barrymore paddling-pool relentlessly droning on about themselves before Michael gives them the old Vlad The Impaler treatment…..I do realise that we may have some of the anti-cruelty lot complaining, but I really can’t see how we can tempt the hamsters out of the Gay contestants’ arseholes pre-skewering without giving the game away.

    Simon Cowell is very interested in my pitch,although strangely,even after reading the details,insists that he wants to be a contestant and nothing more…what an odd man.

    Fuck Off.

    • How about Barrymores hook a ducky? Where on answering a question right a contestant hooks the corpse of a floating bandit with a prize tied to em? Determined to pitch a show to tv lot, camping with Raoul Moat? Oh hes dead eh? Antiques roadshow the stolen special with kenny noye?

      • “DIY SOS” where Nick Knowles and “the gang” convert the cellar of Fred West’s home into a “man-cave” before relaying the patio.

        I was going to make an off-colour remark about Gerry McCann and ” Treasure Hunt”,but my natural good taste prevented me.

      • Haha😧 ISAC ought to start its own production company! ‘Bear grylls race the rohingas’ bear joins the race through the jungle dodging mass shootings, and avoiding capture! Bareknuckle boxing with michael Gove touring various gyppo sites offering out the best theyve got!

    • A sideline of yours wasnt writing “Roger Melly – the man off the Telly” for Viz was it Dick? That game is straight out of his handbook 😉

  6. What is a hot spot not?

    Not a good spot.

    Especially when you are floating face down in a swimming pool with a broom handle up your bum.

  7. This unfunny cunt has Lubbock’s blood ( or should I say ,shit) on his hands (or should that be his cock).
    The only people that like the cunt are Take a Break readers and those saddos who can be found on the letters page of the TV Times.
    Fuck him!

  8. Have no sympathy for the man unlike the recent studio audience in Piers Morgan Life Stories when interviewing the man.

    Playing the totally innocent victim card who has been hard done by the tabloid press, and is totally innocent of all charges. Clearly some questions still need to be answered and police ineptitude on several occasions have put paid to the truth ever being known.

    I for one didn’t buy his “don’t feel sorry for me” act, and switched off immediately after he said he had not touched alcohol for how ever many years, and paused for applause (which he got from the easily convinced and gullible studio audience).

    The guy is nothing more than a pathetic attention/sympathy seeking cunt who would love nothing more than to return to the big time. He looked like a broken man recently on tv but reckon its all part of his pathetic act. Sorry Michael, I and suspect many others can you for what you really are. A washed up has been celebrity faggot.

  9. A truly talented and funny man. Just like Brucie, Cilla and Cunt ‘n Cunt.
    Awight! Fuck me how we laughed. Fortunately Macyntire is around to cheer us up.

  10. This Cunt will never get back on the telly, unless it’s something like QVC.
    Selling bathing aids to disabled tooty _ fruity’s perhaps ?
    ‘ The Buggermore Bathing Aid will lower you safely and gently into your bath. The specially designed seat, with wide access hole will locate you on to the interchangeable dildo with ease.
    You can then use the control on the joystick to raise and lower the seat at the desired speed.
    WARNING ! Selecting ‘Lubbock Mode’
    carries an increased risk of serious injury, for which Michael Buggermore accepts no liability. ‘
    Get to fuck.

  11. I used to know someone who worked for said person,he said that he was filthy sod, he used to throw his fags into the swimming pool

  12. Barrymore’s triumphant return to TV…

    “Only Pools and Corpses”

    (Pinched from another cunter, I admit)

  13. To be fair I miss the days of him and the 80’s. Lets be honest if he didn’t let it slip would we have known? In these days each and every show has the resident Tom Bummery. Doesn’t matter what show it is. Quiz, Interview, Magazine, Panel, Comedy, Game show….they all got one. Bring back the days when we were ignorant….With the exception of Larry on the generation game.
    Same as the 70’s music. Say what you like about Gary Glitter….he never drove fast around schools.

  14. Great cunting CS, i enjoy watching him now, on his rare tv appearances because you can see he’s desperate. I might have him in next round of deadpool.
    Hopefully he’ll realise his career really is dead, and top himself, dirty perverted cunt,with even dirtier and more perverted friends.

    • All he needs is the right opportunity to get his career up and running again. He could be the star in a tv series about gay high court enforcement officers – ‘Can’t Pay? We’ll Fuck You Up The Arse’.

  15. I had never seen Barrymore, and the only thing I knew about him was the swimming pool incident. I looked at an old show on YouTube, therefore, to see if I had a view. What a complete steaming pile of shite. What a pure plastic simulacrum of a flamboyant showbiz luvvie trying to be funny by being outrageous. And from what I could see, obviously gay long before he came out. The wrong person died in that pool.

  16. How the cunt got on the box in the first place baffles me. An unfunny cunt from the word go. Shouting “aw right” and rushing into the audience to basically assault somebody was not and is not entertainment.
    Mind you in this day and age of every other cunt on BBC being a poof there is a good chance he will be back.
    An industrial sized cunt.

  17. I’ve no strong feelings on bawwymore either way but I found his act/schtick pretty old hat even in his heyday.

  18. Just to doggy paddle off topic for a moment ……
    Has anyone heard or read anything from those on the hysterical left, about the use of riot police on peaceful protesters in Hong Kong , which is ruled by those lovely tolerant communists in China.
    No, me either.
    Get to fuck.

  19. Someone buggered Stuart Lubbock in a most violent manner. Barrymore said himself there were only two gays in his house that night. I reckon Barrymore and his boyfriend took turns then dumped Stuart in the pool to cool off.

    I doubt Barrymore went into too much detail on Pierce Morgan the other night.

  20. Barrymore just another old has been Queen who cannot except he’s just not funny anymore times moved on pal A bit like Jimmy Tarbuck Jim Davidson Noel Edmonds who know matter what they try to do they cannot get back on the box. Ant and Dec also not funny the sooner people realise it the sooner we can get rid of these pair of overpaid cunts off the telly Who wants to watch a druggie drink driver with no talent and his equally unfunny side kick.

  21. Am I the only one here who used to find Barrymore’s naff Butlins act quite endearing?

    Ah well fuck it. I’m going to snack on some avocado on toast, listen to some Whigfield wearing flipflops, then watch a Marvel movie like the right cunt I am.

  22. My favourite Barrymore moment was when the ball achingly useless cunt boarded the plane to New Zealand. Do you know the cunt collected almost 2 1/2million pounds in damages from Essex police because he was wrongly arrested!! Fuck me sideways the silly cunt done a runner did he not? yeah that’s not suspicious is it? The police, the cps Barrymore everyone involved in this case wankers. That poor bastard that died, drugged, buggered, drowned what fucking justice did he get eh. Then that fucking cunt Barrymore after picking up a small fortune witters on about his lost career tears of loss. A nail bomb up the arse would be to good for cunty Barrymore.

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