I want to nominate cunt food for a cunting.
Cunt food is consumed by cunts. It consists of things like quinoa, rocket salad and couscous. Avocado is popular with cunts as well.
Many high street sandwich chains are overflowing with cunt food. Pret a Manger ( what a cuntish name) will not give you a ham and cheese roll or a sausage sandwich. Instead, you have to eat a “ chicken and pea crush baguette” or an “artichoke, olives and tapenade baguette”. What the fuck is “ tapenade”? And why does it have to be a fucking baguette and not a roll?
Cunt food is also a mainstay of tv cooking shows. Masterchef is dominated by effete, precious, hissy cunts cooking cunt food for consumption by cunts. That cunt Greg Wallace has previously stuffed his face with “trofie with nasturtium and macadamia pesto”, “ stavros peppers, feta, sherry vinegar, pine-nut crunch” and “ mayo-roasted chicken with waldorf salad and tarragon”.
Cunts are terrified that Brexit will lead to a shortage of their favourite cunt food ingredients, hence the stockpiling of quinoa, Greek yoghurt, calves liver and oregano.
I hope it does lead to a shortage and then we can get back to decent food like full English Breakfast with Worcester Sauce, sausage sandwiches with HP sauce and treacle sponge with custard.
Cunts.
Nominated by Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine
I blame those fucking awful Wireless 4 *foodie* programmes that they listen to in Islington and Chipping Norton – Jay Slubberguts Rayner with his *Kitchen Cabinet* and the never ending *Food Programme*. Pretentious load of wank presented by bossy wimmin and soy boy *men*
7
This is pretty high on my long list of cuntitude, as a avowed greedy cunt, i take my din-dins seriously! Refuse to take part in eating fashionable or/& foreign shite! Sunday dinner is a foundation stone of being english, as is fish an chips, quinoa? Rocket? What the fuck? Cant do a days graft on that shite! For puffs and frenchmen, give you aids salad, scientific fact that is, oh an if you like pesto, hope you fuckin choke! Off for sunday dinner &few pints of boddies tata👅
12
“For puffs and frenchmen”
Made my day 😆😆😆😆😆
6
Marks & Sparks now do a Gay sandwich called “The GLBT”, guacamole, bacon, lettuce, tomato.
Sold in support of “Pride” for fucks sake.
To be avoided unless you want to catch The Gayness.
21
They’d be better off calling it an “Arse and Sausage Sandwich”.
23
Putting bacon on it a little bit islamaphobic shaking my head at the LGBTQSZFH crowd right now nice how they aren’t thinking about the gay arab muslim community sorry but i’m gonna have to boycott until they undue this inclusive racist behaviour at least put halal certifed bacon in there ffs Also wheres the elton john sandwich for the release of his new film rocketman i wonder what ingredients that would include
14
Exclusive not inclusive and i’m sure the elton john sandwich ELT would at least include the cream of sum yung guy
7
Elton John sandwich?
That’s a small cheesey sausage in between two young man’s buns I think… 😁
11
Sausage, Rocket, cheese and mayonaise, all between a crusty bun 🤮
8
So Guacamole is gay? Won’t that offend the Mexicans by giving them another stereo type?
1
Why couldnt they just call it the LGBT sandwich? Just rearrange the letters.
Whichever marketing fuckhead came up with the idea is a taste-blind cunt: guacamole and bacon? Fuck off.
0
Good cunting. Like a good session bitter, instead of some hoppy beer that makes your face shrivel up like you have sucked a sour lemon, you yearn for just the simple stuff in life such as a bacon or sausage roll, than some vegan crap with grass feta cheese dumped on by a herd of randy cows.
The only good thing about these cunt establishments is they charge exorbitant prices for something that will make its way down your digestive trap within an hour of eating it, nicely pebble dashing the toilet bowel that the then said hipster cunt will have to clean up after.
You may as well cut out the middle man, and dump the shite straight into the bin and go hungry.
Cunts.
14
Full English Breakfast = Heart attack on a plate.
10
The cunts stopped making HP sauce in the UK a few years ago, so they can fuck off and I won’t buy it. Even Tesco brown sauce is made in fucking Poland. What is wrong with the cunts who “run” this country?
11
There’s nothing wrong with them, the Germans and French are happy enough.
8
Our money pays for those new EU-funded factories in poland which then take the business from our own factories owing to cheaper labour. Can we get any accountability from our MEP’s? CAN WE FUCK!
4
EMERGENCY CUNTING:
Suck Na Dick Khunt. Who the FUCK does this pint sized camel shagging CUNT think he is?
Donald Trump is more of a man than this son of a bus driver will ever be.
Now FUCK OFF and die of Ebola.
20
I agree a lot of food has gone into the over the top, arty bollocks… But the food we can access and eat today is much better quality than the shite from years ago. Dont get me wrong, I love traditional stodgy fare…pies, bangers and mash, full English and British puddings are the best in the world but times have moved on from the olden days.
Our diet had become a pile of cunt and no wonder we are a nation of fat, obese, lazy cunts… Who the fuck do you think you are?
Having a massive dinner full of carbs at 8pm and them sitting in front of the Tele all evening not burning the fuel you’ve eaten, and then you wonder why you look all out of shape.
Back. In the good old days when people actually did physical work you needed all those calories… Fast forward to now and you’ve got Jane who scoffs two cakes with her morning coffee in the office.
You’ve also got Dave the cunt who has a fry up every day and then wonders why he’s ill and then dies…the cunt will probably play ‘I did it my way’ at his funeral.
Go fuck yourselves,
13
Agree 100% B&WC – quality and access to good food has come on in leaps and bounds since the 1970s.
To paraphrase Harold Macmillan, “we’ve never had it so good.”
10
I like avacados tho its the only export i enjoy from Mexico cause tequila is shit and overpriced and whiskey is just better in everyway Ever wonder why there is wine an whiskey tasting but no tequila tasting? because its just a pile of shit mixed with Mexican paint thinner its strong and will get you wasted but has almost no flavour profile
9
Had a bad experience with Tequila, it ended in me puking in a taxi. Avocado is in my opinion one of the best things you can eat. I prefer the Israeli ones… Lovely.
6
All tequila experiences are bad experiences thats what make tequila shit blue agave what the bloody fuck is that? Oh yeah i’m sure the palestinian blood enriched soil makes it taste even better yum yum
6
Cannot stand this new wave of trendy anti-British cunt food.
I was in a random canteen the other day on a contracting job. I went down for lunch only to see an abundant lack of chips and the main offering of the day was a falafel burger?
What the fuck man?
Fucking falafel burger?- Basically a sand jockey offering bought over by the newest wave of peacefuls to hit our shores from Syria.
It looks like a sun-dried camel turd with the texture of bark. The cheeky wankers were serving this between a ‘Brioche Bun’ with sultana side salad and host of middle-eastern flavoured dips. The best part was the price tag. £4.59!!
Cheeky Bastards!
Selling a mixture of sheep’s eyeballs and camel crap just to look hip and cool and to satisfy the council food inspector that they are catering Halal shite for the 3 peaceful worshipping cleaners they have on site!
Complete and utter cunts!
Not only is the British identity attacked by the main stream media but also by a change of our diet to one that resembles what a peasant from Nazareth was eating 2000 years ago……..
The agenda, satisfy the Vegan/peaceful/lefty values of not eating Pork.
Gimme a bacon sarnie any day.
12
Well, chips are sort of peasant food as well, aren’t they?
I don’t think it’s an attack on British food or the British way of life but more of an improvement in our diet. You can still go out and purchase British stuff – I think our home-grown fruit ‘n’ veg tastes better than anybody’s, it’s just more expensive.
We can’t grow bananas or avocados so we have to import them, I don’t think that’s un-British.
Falafels are delicious though I don’t understand why they’re so dear. Hummus is good too especially with decent bread – Sainsbury wholemeal multiseed loaf uncut, from their bakery. Best bread in the world.
6
Can I put in a word for Asda’s reduced salt baked beans? No? Ok then.
7
We had an anti salt Nazi round for a meal recently. Apparently I’m not even allowed a pinch of salt in my porridge of a morning anymore! Cunt.
8
My great uncle (who spent many a year living abroad in Asia) said to me when I was a young scally, “Sleeping with a native who’s been washed is like eating an egg without salt.”
Afternoon chaps
6
The reason nothing tastes of anything any more is the salt Nazi. And the reason the middle classes latch onto anything pretentious is that they hope it will taste of something. And it doesn’t.
Avocado’s fine. Tip salad cream into the cavity ( and maybe just a few grains of salt if you can get it off-prescription) for the ultimate fusion food; formerly-exotic meets socially unacceptable.
Chips are Belgian, btw.
2
Yes, they’re the only ones I buy.
5
Salt is bad for you tho ruff tuff, and don’t get the heavily idiozed table salt crap , get pink hymlyain salt or get a good sea salt that retains all the minerals like real salt
3
Cunt food ! My lady is always force feeding me cunt food, it’s a good job she’s not a lard arse otherwise I would suffocate with her labia either side of me nose.
7
We eat way too much shite meat in this country…less but better quality is the way forward.
I eat veggie twice a week, Fish twice a week and only really eat red meat or chicken once a week.
The mediterranean diet is the best.
I feel sorry for the chav cunts who go shopping in their shell suit at Iceland (not that there is much wrong with Iceland as they have some decent fresh stuff and its cheap) but these cunts buy pure frozen shite and simply reheat the shite which is void of any nutritional value.
What a load of selfish cunts.
7
And as for all those fat cunts at food banks…
5
They should have to sing a song or do a little dance or maybe a magic trick for our entertainment before getting free scoff. It would be like a local Britain’s got talent audition every day, and good for their self esteem, as it would be the first time in their miserable lifes that they could feel they have earned something. I only donate cat food at the pet section of the supermarket food bank as part of the war on obesity, plus I like animals.
5
I think that idea’s got legs. But an exemption for NHS workers trying to pay London rents and eat at the same time might be considered.
2
I was once one of them Mr Dragon, what’s nhs London weighting now? A grand a month? In the smoke you have all the overtime you want, or do a few agency shifts a month. I know ancillary staff struggle but you don’t hear professionally qualified workers or managers complaining, unless they’re lazy cunts.
3
Cunts food does come with dangers. Who can forget the horrific outbreak of avocado slash injuries in Islington? Knife injuries that mayor Khan could identify with.
And what of the honest artisans of London who develop a quinoa intolerance. Hidden victims.
3
What’s this shit I’ve seen in the supermarkets of late?
Pre-peeled oranges and potatoes? Already peeled boiled eggs?
Can’t these entitled millennial snowflake iphone fucking scum even take the shell off a boiled egg?!! Mind you. most of them probably can’t even boil the actual egg…
And if they can’t do a bit of spud bashing then they shouldn’t be on this earth…
Do they even wipe their own arses? What a breed of cunts this land has now got…
6
I seen the pre peeled oranges an cut apple slices and theres a 30 percent price increase for doing something that literally takes 10 seconds to do lazy brats rather pay more dosh then save it in their piggy bank
4
And what about the meat that is cooked in the packaging so the poor snowflake doesn’t have to touch it in the raw state?
3
Excellent Cunting and well deserved Mr Cunting Machine.
Give me Shepherds pie, steak and Kidney Pudding ,Roast beef with Yorkshire Puddings and spotted dick with custard anytime.
All that so called healthy salad bollocks just makes me fart.
8
Spotted dick with custard is elton johns favourite dish apparently._.
7
What, apart from a cunt, do you call someone who pays nearly a tenner for a bowl,of Rice Krispies in the cunt ridden area of Shoreditch ?
No doubt they also have avocado (food of the devil if ever there was) at lunchtime as well. Beardy wankers in trousers that are too short and stupid shoes. Cunts.
6
Its highway robbery what they charge for a bowl of oatmeal at restaurants nowadays 6 bucks FFS I can buy a big 3.2 kilogram bag of premium organic oatmeal for 12 at costco As you can tell I don’t go out to eat that often but when I do its to snicker at the absurd prices at what the merchants charge seriously tho 6 dollars for a fucking medium size bowl of oatmeal
3
A hipster. Almost the same thing but a hipster is a type of cunt.
The Guardian are always asking if hipsters are still ‘a thing’.
2
‘Who will serve my sahn-dwechez at Pret?’
That stupid woman sums up cunt-remainers beyond all attempts at parody.
Fucking oblivious, dopey, bourgeois cunt.
A good cunting. Hope they get mutated by their Honduran prawn and avocado wankwiches.
0