Orbital Billboards

With Easter now upon us, any thoughts of the devil & hell may well be far from our thoughts. I fear it’s closer than we realise.
Orbital Billboard. A Russian Start Rocket Website is seeking clients to beam adverts from its outer space platform onto the night sky. Impossible to overlook, impossible to switch off. A terrifying thought, too chilling to comprehend. But could well be just around the corner. Post-Meridiem love making & Star lands ?Afternoon Delight now a long distant memory.

Nominated by Lostsheep

31 thoughts on “Orbital Billboards

  1. Are you sure about this? It sounds like something out of “1984”, Big Brother staring at you wherever you go.
    Fuck, imagine Catweazle spread across the night sky……or the Gove puppet……..or James fucking O’Shithead!!!!
    Nah……it’s a wind up, ain’t buying it.

    • (amp?!!! amp?!!! sloppy spell checking) @Freddie t f, As reported in several British news papers I believe, around the middle of April. + RT news. Start Rockets CEO Vlad Sitnkov claimed PepsiCo were very keen, but they have recently bailed out.

  2. But imagine a giant image of Kelly Brook in a skimpy bikini with interstellar sized norks seemingly gesturing you from the night sky.

    The likes of RTC and B&WC will have to lock themselves away for a few hours, entranced by what they can see.

    • As a cruel joke they might project Jenny Eclairs advert for itchy beavers instead.

    • Smaller norks for me please Paul. As my mother said, “anything over a mouthful is wasted.”

  3. Best of all, The Flabbott projected onto near darkness…

    She’d be invisible.

    Even better, the real Flabbott launched into the farthest galaxy

    • I think we already have enough gaping black holes in the universe!

      • Reckon Flabbot could be used to bung up a black hole ……oh errr wait a minute that would leave us with an even bigger black hole.On the plus side at least Catweazle would start being drawn into it at the speed of light.

  4. Fuck that, we can’t have Ruskies putting up what the fuck they like in our sky.
    Shoot their spaceship down I say! Cheeky fucking Ivans.

  5. Bloody hell, once the Ruskies get the ball rolling they’ll all be at it!

    Expect to see all the usual suspects like McDonalds and Coca Cola beaming their shit at you; but there will be tons more. So much so you won’t be able to see the stars or the moon for all the bright neon lights.

    what a stupid fucking light-polluting load of bollocks. But of course money talks, so fuck what ordinary people think.

  6. Won’t belong before vacuous celebs start bigging themselves up in the sky – The Kardashians, Katie Price, Cheryl Cole, the Spunk Girls etc. all up there telling you how to live your lives.

    And no doubt the Maddie McCann’s parents will be up there asking for more money to find their daughter they lost!

    And of course Richard Branson will be smirking back at you advertising another one of his shit products – although I imagine he will put his billboard next to Uranus as it seems highly appropriate.

  7. Creative tech freak with yet another moronic innovation – “Wouldn’t it be a cool idea to….?”
    Me – “No it fucking wouldn’t. Come here a moment while I kick you to death.”

  8. And what if these fucking things have sound?
    Ed Sheercunt, Titless Swift, Ladyboy Gaga, Madogga, that Stormzy wankstain, Lardarse Beyonce and so on… Imagine Bonio and his band of U2 Diiddymen preaching from the skies…. A nightmare and no mistake….

    • Not forgetting Paloma Horseface, Florence and the Machine of Cunts, Jess Glynne, and Lana Del Cunt…

  9. Maybe some hacker could take control of the system and upload his own material.
    The best of Bernard Manning playing in the sky, with porn for afters and no cunt can switch it off…😁

  10. Classic case of just because something is possible doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Make this illegal now!

  11. we’re going to end up with something like a cross between Blade Runner and Minority Report, with adverts beamed holographically in your line-of-sight as you walk down the street or through shops; or beamed into space and thus polluting the skies with bullshit day and night

  12. It’s all part of the Putin’s cunting plan to incapacitate Western Europe.

    First he drives the millennials nuts by spiking the bottled water (I don’t drink it, no self respecting Englishman would), then he erects a Big Brother screen in the sky.

    It’s not fucking rocket science.

  13. Talking of millennials and Gen Zs – they will probably never notice the ads in the sky because they’re all genetically hunched over after spending years looking down at their phones!

  14. This could be the break through in science that the Consevatives are desperate for. Now they no longer have anyone willing to knock on doors for them, the next general election could be fought in the skies. Imagine the hunchback’s leering face lighting up the skies from dusk till dawn. Children everywhere would not be able to sleep with the image of Vince in his Freddie Kruger hat shining through their bedroom window. I’ll leave you to ponder what images of Catweasel would be projected. I’ll tell you this about IsAC, it doesn’t arf stimulate the imagination.

  15. Orbital billboard wtf is that like a billboard from space?! speaking of orbital, the techno band orbital they had some pretty good tunes the yellow album and brown album were ace imho some of there current stuff tho not so good

  16. I’m working on it – my five-a-day plan. My palms are beginning to sprout hair already.

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