Chris Packham (2)

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Chris Packham.
Not having a TV, I was slightly baffled when visiting my friendly local gunsmith and his name came up in conversation. Baffled, and incandescent enough to look the cunt up and sign a petition to get his dogooding vegan touchy feely (hands off, MPG and Krav) arse kicked straight out of the BBC’s expensive doors. Why?

I’ll try not to be too technical, but up to a couple of days before this cunting, any cunt anywhere with legal access to a piece of land and a gun could shoot pigeons without any further bureaucratic idiocy. Pigeons aren’t just a bloody nuisance with no musical ear, they’re vermin. They destroy crops, spread diseases and shit everywhere. Until yesterday, they were subject to a general licence (with other winged pests), and anyone could shoot them.

But super ecospunktrumpet Packham launched a legal challenge to this, and Natural England, the quango in charge of such matters, decided to bow to the lawyers and withdraw the general licence.
Killing pigeons is now illegal. You now have to apply for an individual licence to do so. The terms and conditions are stringent, ridiculously so, and I shudder to think of the extra expense of the bureaucracy required to deal with every cunt with an airgun, every farmer and the members of every rough shoot in the country…individually.
Thanks, you smug faketanned pigeon fetishist. I know nothing else of Packham, except that he looks like an overpaid snowflake cunt, which is what he is, and any cunter is free to fill in the details for me. Meanwhile, here’s the petition:

https://www.change.org/p/bbc-bbc-to-sack-chris-packham

There;s another petition to keep the cunt on, so it’s war.

Nominated by Komodo

 

My son in law got me a ticket to see Packham as he knows I am a wild creature and nature fan.
Fuck me. Packham seems to be ‘on the spectrum’ as they say. He fascinated us with deliberately out of focus pictures, shots of him photographing birds in a Gambian sewage farm where he says he spends his holidays, lying in kaffir shit. Unhinged and fucking boring at the same time.
Coming to a theatre near you. Avoid.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

109 thoughts on “Chris Packham (2)”

  1. Just apply for a licence then. What’s the problem?

    Once again the fucking farmers think they’re above the law.

    “Oo-aaa, everybody else ‘as to apploi for a loicence but not us faaarmers.”

    Is it because these carrot-headed cunts don’t want to be interrupted from counting the money the EU pays them for not growing potatoes.

    Chris Packham has been proved correct and all these craven turnip-munchers can do is creep onto his property and hang up dead crows. Cowardly little cunts.

    Here’s hoping the extra bit of stress eventuates into a few more bumpkin suicides. Remember to get the whole barrel in your gob, Farmer Cauliflower.

    • Fuckin trigger happy lord of the manor types shooting birds of prey, anything that has wings! Fuck em! Get a license if you can afford a shotgun you can afford a license! Oh and while we are at it, i refuse to doff my cap and when your hunting dont screech ‘open the gate’ at me! Get off yer fuckin horse and open it yourself! Im not a rural butler .

  2. You’ll need a license to take a fucking dump before long..
    Fuck licenses..
    And fuck the cunts who decide we need a license for every fucking thing..
    Pigeons need shooting…

    • Can’t be arsed reading to bottom, he is certified on the autistic scale, near the top of it I would say. Google it if you don’t believe me. And he has fucked Brian May up the arse. Probably.

  4. I think less people would want him to die if he took speech therapy lessons to fix his fucking lisp.

  5. Evening CF

    It’s not just pigeons, it’s any bird. This was conveniently left off the nomination.

    • Just 16 species of bird, all listed as pests, are involved. ALL birds are protected (thx, EU, and wish you’d apply the law impartially), but the general licenses were issued by the UK to allow the control of the pests. Currently, Natural England has rejigged one license to cover crows, which kill and maim lambs, but the revised version is still badly drafted. The remaining species are still verboten.

      • 16 species including some that are innocuous and one (the lesser black-backed gull) which is listed as a conservation priority.

        Apply for a licence.

      • I agree, lesser blackbacks, and perhaps others, should not be on the list, while greater blackbacks should. The smaller corvids probably do more good than harm: I would never shoot a jackdaw. But the general license for pigeons – on which I have focussed with reason – and the larger crows was absolutely fit for purpose. You will be distressed to hear that some kind of general license will be restored for at least some species, possibly all, on the list. Which is why I am not applying for an individual license yet.

        There are two aspects to which I take particular objection:
        1. Legislation by celebrity and
        2. Loss of established freedoms.

        You may love the celebrity, and you may disagree with the freedoms, but come right down to it, and these are issues which are cunted again and again here, in various forms.

  6. Another lisping cunt in a cunt barnet with the oh so fashionable Asperger’s or some such syndrome (can’t be arsed to look it up). In other words a legal excuse for being a mouthy looney cunt. Cunt lives doine near me manor – not that Yours Truly has ever been doine that way for purposes orf avoiding confusion m’Lud.
    Shooters are for fucking blasting live fuckers and with the largest bore available in me book. Have a nice pair orf matched Purdys, 12 bore, very very nice, can blast straight through a fox’s arse, ramming its bolloxs through its guts and oit its throat. Very civilised gun a Purdy. Always leaves the pelt intact.
    Have an old 20 bore from me India days. Fires just about anything – have to make me own cartridges – bits orf angle iron, old nails, lead shot, ring pull tops, bloody marvel. Kick orn it like the proverbial. Three cunt job – me bailiff and me game-keeper support the fucker while YT does the business. All three orf us invariably knocked on our arses and deafened by the blast and recoil. Educational to see a sweet little Roe deer blasted apart. Local urchins have a fine time working oit which part goes where.
    The rural life since time immemorial. Note to eco-warriors that come acrorss one orf me shooting parties – hang that dead badger’s arse on yer fence and fuck it cunts.

    • Tempted to come visit Limply. Reminds me of the days you could shoot a rabbit and within four hours it was called rabbit stew. Me old man used to make a good living shooting possums. Until fucking PETA started up their bat shit crazy shenanigans.
      Why the fuck can’t you shoot a pigeon? Jaysuz Joseph and Mary! I got deer living over the road and the neighbours occasionally take a pot shot. As long as the fuckers don’t make it into me gates and eat my potato trees. Deer, crows and pigeons. All vermin like Packham.
      Classic to see some types posted him shit in a package.

    • I am baffled by your post. 20-bore is smaller than the standard 12-bore and is suitable for young ladies. Perhaps you meant your 2-bore punt gun, guaranteed to annihilate acres of floating waterfowl using ammunition similar to your description?

      Here:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzwbcVbE9rw

      They’re illegal now.

      • Can’t have a baffled Komodo dear heart. Due to hardening orf the old brain pan now less dogmatic aboite statistics, memory not what it was. Tend to make it up as go I along for convenience and give the stato cunts oit there a chance. Gun in
        question actually a Raj era twin smooth bore 4. Make our own black powder cartridges for it. Two barrels orf that will stop anything.

      • Belated thanks for the clarification, and congratulations on your choice of lethal armament.

  7. Tony Martin…… he did a nice bit of shooting. Blew some vermin away. That should be made legal, no problem.

  8. I would rather shoot humans than pigeons. The bird group do nothing wrong other than try to survive and pass on their genes, like every other wild animal.
    Countless humans, however, whom are each in possession of the most advanced computer in the world, the brain, chose not to use said organ and instead decide to lead a pointless and vapid life of social media, junk food, television, fighting and unnecessary breeding. All the while sponging off the taxpayer, using up valuable resources and producing waste. Let’s not forget those dress-sporting peacefuls, the pikey’s, guttersnipes, eurotrash, dossers, Roma’s and all the rest of the detestable scum that roam our streets. I’d much rather see the bobbing head of a pigeon that any of the aforementioned cunts.

    • Would you rather see the bobbing heads of 300 pigeons eating the in crops in your field? Ballpark estimate: around 2 million pigeons were shot in the UK last year. Spot the difference in numbers this year.

  9. Where is Mr F when one needs a considered opinion? Birds are his area of expertise.

    • Give Chris Peck em the bird I say. Farmers deserve all the help they can get.

  10. Fucking farmers. Part of me wishes we could buy all our fruit’n’veg from abroad then these pig-fuckers would have to apply for a proper job.

    Now, what are your qualifications?”

    “Oo-aah, me’s not gottt any quati-, quafi-, quackifications… me kicked outta school for shitting in claass. Me don’t know worrds.”

    Surely the weather is important for you? How do you check the weather forecast?

    “I squeeze de balls on me Wiltshire hog an’ if ‘e lifts up his baaack left leg, it’ll be foine.”

    Your warehouse-packing job starts on Monday. Best have a bath on the Sunday.

  11. The last time I visited a gunsmith¹ was twenty odd years ago, Komodo, so I bow to your more contemporary exposure.

    I do, however, have more recent experience of pigeons being vermin, indeed only today there was extensive Columbiforme shit extant where I park my Raleigh™ at my local Asda™.

    These giddy creatures are indeed a menace, and a couple of years ago, a mate had a huge problem with them, which I solved by secreting food poisoned with carbamates² in high gutters where they congregated. Effective enough, and the chemical should not have passed on too much bad luck to the local rodents.

    Chris Packham, CBE, is an entirely different kettle of fish. This manic mincer with Ménière’s syndrome would, in an ideal world, be incarcerated in Rampton with Charles Bronson (aka Charles Arthur “Charlie” Salvador, formerly Charles Ali Ahmed né Michael Gordon Peterson.

    A cunting of quality, Messrs Komodo & Cuntbubble. FWIW (=0), petition thrice signed.

    ¹A Branthwaite, Cheadle Hulme, to dispose of some nice Spanish airpistols acquired overseas. Not so much a gunsmith, just a licenced seller of guns, in truth.

    ²Specifically, carbofuran or Furadan™ generously soaked into millet seed. We (almost…) literally novichocked them: bit naughty, but extremely effective.

    • Meniere’s disease Is no big thing. It just means you’re unbalanced which explains a lot about Chris Peckem. Lots of people are affected by this.

      • Tell my dad that. He was often laid out for hours at a time on the floor, fell over frequently and suffered from so many strokes as a result that when he died the doctors said his brain had so may holes it resembled a swiss cheese.

      • @moggie63, I can only imagine it must be hell to live with, & would affect almost every daily task. Coupled with tinnitus..(continual ringing in the ears), that many are also afflicted with. I’m sorry to hear about your dad Moggie. I did work with similar victims who had to wear protective head gear all day.

  12. Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson has been sacked following an investigation into the leak of information from the National Security Council.

    A statement said Theresa May’s decision was “informed by his conduct”, following an inquiry into the leak.

    She had “lost confidence in his ability to serve” in his role”, No 10 said.

    Kettle, black, calling, pot, the.

    • The Boy Williamson getting sacked is fucking hilarious!! When your squeaky-voiced Defence Secretary’s most earnest plea is to wish the Russian’s ‘should go away’ you can see the depths to which we have sunk.

      And didn’t that smooth cunt Richard Madeley once pull the plug on him in an interview for avoiding the question once too often?. I’d wager it’s on YT somewhere.

      The Cunt is still pleading his innocence despite presumably being bang to rights. Typical

      • The primey has gone one better an employed a fucking woman in the role.

  13. Quite like Chris Packham.

    There was a one hour documentary on about him probably over a year ago now which my family and I watched, twice I think.

    He has been diagnosed with Ménierè’s disease and Aspergers resulting in him being socially awkward and a bit of an odd fellow.

    But I do think his heart is in the right place and that he is an animal lover and a kind person.

    Think the world would be a better place with more people like him.

    Anyway, that’s my opinion of the man.

    • Packham has the balls to stand up for his beliefs, whether you agree or not, in short doing what men should do, rather than creeping about at night hanging dead birds on someones gate like some snidey fuckin bedwetter

    • I know precious little about the man, WS, not having a telly and all but he did pick a track from one of my favourite band’s best album on R4 Desert Island Discs, thus allowing Penetrations’ “Shout Above The Noise” airplay at least once since 1979. Therefore, he can’t be all cunt…

    • @WillieS,
      The whole animal rights law enforcement should have been toughened up a long time ago. But at least we have some laws. The relentless cruelty abroad is abhorrent and heart wrenching.

  14. Gavyn Williamson sacked by the Traitor In Chief.
    Oooooooooo the irony.
    Get to fuck.

    • That looks bad. Another nail in her overdue coffin, the bitch.
      As for horse face Williamson he can get fucked the dirty little remoaner cunt.

    • That Williamson makes Owen Jones look like an adult.
      Mind you he has been replaced by Penny Mordant who i believe was/ is in the army or navy reserves which is pretty handy in a defence secretary i would have thought.
      You wouldn’t spontaneously vomit if you found yourself boning her one night unlike many other politicos.

    • I think Williamson leaked the meeting because he was appalled at May bringing on board an agency of the Chinese state to poke around in our communications etc. Against advice and overruling wiser council. However, the cunt should have resigned and then made public his misgivings.

      • May should be hung, drawn and quartered for high treason.

        There’s a slight snag though – Tony B. Liar sneakily abolished the death penalty for treason in 1998.

      • If Treason May sacked him for breaking the Official Secrets Act, then that’s a criminal offence. She should now call in the rozzers and we’ll see how her evidence stacks up in the court of law, the cunt.

  15. The cunt is a weirdo loner with Autism. The village folk should pile round his cottage in the dead of night with lit torches and a rope, then pass sentence before hanging him on the nearest Oak tree or attach him to a giant Wicker man.
    Doesn’t the spaco cunt know how they deal with his types in the Country ?

  16. This jabbering, lisping cunt has spent too long on foreign jolly’s on behalf of the BBC at our expense. Southern Californian seaside sunshine break in February is just the latest example of. Presented “Live by satellite”……and showing a load of archived film. Just the sort of wasteful behaviour we’re all too familiar with.

    Smart ass behaviour includes dropping punk rock song titles into his presentations to camera (apparently-it’s lost on me)

    • Sorry to ruin your day Cuntflap.

      It might improve your mood if you can get hold of an article recently written by an ex-Beebistan senior suit published in The Sunday Murdoch. The hypothesis is that the Corporation will soon be on financial life support due to adverse demographics ie Snowflakes not buying licences/ watching Iplayer free/ preferring Netflix etc and old cunts like me getting free licences.

  18. Anybody who kills birds (or wildlife) for any reason at all is a total and utter cunt and I wish them dead from a painful long terminal illness.

    Hope that makes my feelings plain on this matter.

    • Beg pardon for the intrusion RTC. We must have been typing in unison.
      Regards to Lady Creampuff and your Good Self.

  20. Whopee !! Fiona Onasanya has to face a by election after almost twenty thousand of her constituents signed a petition.
    If she stands for re election and wins, Peterborough should be vapourised promptly.
    Good evening.

  22. I suppose that if we didn’t have laws protecting animals, we’d end up like Africa or worse, other countries where they’ve killed and eaten all their wildlife. I hate pigeons but what about all the other birds? Fuck these landowner cunts and their solipsistic worlds.

    • We already have killed most of our wildlife, there used to be hippos here. Pigeons are vermin and we couldn’t wipe them out even if we tried.

  23. Sorry .. but …Fuck me – what a fuss over a bird. There are more cunting peaceful nuisances that need culling rather than a harmless Wood Pigeon

    • Makes a change, IMO. Besides, if shooting Muslims were legal, I imagine you’d be rather pissed off if permission was withdrawn at the behest of some Zen Buddhist. Eh?

    • These people who talk about “harmless” wood pigeons either have no sympathy with farmers or certainly don’t have any in their garden shitting over their washing( pigeons not farmers) or fuckin up their vegetable plot. If you had the equivalent of rats running round your garden you’d soon do something about it.

  24. Packham is a cunt.
    When the loony tunes (Extinction Rebellion) were gluing themselves to each other and fucking off those who were earning a living and disrupting their journeys home, Packham received a tweet from a father who told Packham that due to the interruptions, he had missed his daughter’s birthday party.
    Packhams response was…..we would all like to go to our daughters birthday party, but what about your future granddaughters birthday party.
    No apology, no sorry.
    So fuck off Packham, you scummer cunt.

  25. Just throw a load of bird seeds over his car and house and see how the cunt likes pigeons when his whole life is just one big crusted hunk of pigeon shite….
    The cunts keep shitting on my van and it FUCKING ENRAGES ME.
    They always save the biggest, chunkiest, seediest one for the windscreen, right in my line of sight.
    My wipers are useless and just serve to spread the shite all over the screen like an epileptic chimp spreading jam over some bread.
    Fucking cunts.
    I maybe would go as far as to shoot them, but I’d sure love to find their nests and curl out (or splatter) a fucking big vindaloo shite all over them.

    • Sorry wouldN’T go as far as to shoot them….
      Fuckin phone.

  28. I can’t decide whether to watch the latest Game of Thrones or Barcelona v. Liverpool. Either way it’ll be a bloodbath.

    • I watched with glee as the scousers huffed and puffed and fell down. The usually grinning twat Klopp’s face at the end was priceless. Happy days.

      • I hope they beat those blue oil money cunts, the Gorton Globetrotters, to the title though…. Sterling is a little cunt…

  29. I enjoy eating pigeon and will continue to shoot them. However, I particularly enjoy squab so I tend to let the pigeons nest along the tops of the old byres where they’ve nested for years. I let them hatch and raise their chicks just until the point where the young birds,or squabs, are getting ready to fledge and then I either climb up with the ladders or get lifted up on the teleloader,take them out of their nests and neck them….Delicious and tender meat,one of my favourites,tbh. Sometimes,if they need a bit more fattening up, I put chicken netting over the nest so that the parent birds can continue feeding,but the young can’t fly away before I return to claim my bounty.

    I’ll continue to shoot crows,pigeons,magpies etc if it suits me. It’s my land and so I own anything on it, I don’t need the permission of townies to do whatever I want on my own land. If crows are getting at new born lambs or magpies killing the chicks in all the little songbirds’nest, I’ll shoot them. Although,I tend to use a Larsen trap for magpies,catch one and you’ll catch the lot.

    Tally Ho and Fuck Off.

    • Evening, Dick.
      Be advised that it is currently illegal to kill anything – by any means – on the revoked general licence, except crows. This includes taking chicks and eating them, I think. You’re fine if you have an individual license, and hopefully some sort of general license will be restored at some point. The excellent argument that you’re not taking orders from a vegan townie with a feather fetish unfortunately won’t work in court, and if you are anything like me there is no shortage of neighbours envious of your aristocratic charisma who will queue at daybreak to shop you to the filth.

      Whether it will then be legal to slot the pigeons enjoying a hearty meal of lettuce seedlings in my garden is a moot point.

      I shall have to cunt pigeons separately, as some cunters appear to be unaware of the depravity of these tasty but otherwise loathsome vermin.

      • And that’s straight to the point. The birdfanciers get exercised about controlling vast populations of pests, and bleat about the balance of nature as they do so. Meanwhile, wholly illegally, commercial game shoot keepers shoot and poison the predators which would help keep the pests down, given the chance. I have to confess I feel about the shooting of tame pheasants by rich cunts rather as some of the more sensitive commenters do about controlling pigeons. Five million pheasants were bred for the sole purpose of being shot last year… though the majority wound up as roadkill, not being wild birds.

      • Must admit that the last time that I went to an organised shoot, I found the company of some of the other Guns more upsetting than the fate of the birds…not that the birds were in much danger,most of the “Guns” couldn’t have hit a bulls-arse with a frying-pan. How the Beaters escaped being decimated is a mystery to me.

      • Reminiscent of a line from the film Dawn of the Dead
        ( the original not the shite remake)…

        “The only person who could miss with this gun is the sucker with the bread to buy it”

  30. Quite a lot of dead pests. Which destroy crops. But it would be in order to ask if the cunt actually had permission to shoot there. And if he had a license for his weapon (other than a legal-limit air rifle) . If not, you could then punch the air and shout ‘Score!’ before calling the police.

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