Smoking intolerance

Public furtive objection to Smoking!! Please.

A massive cunting to people who begin pointedly sniffing or coughing when they get within 100 paces of me trying to enjoy a snout. I agree its a shitty habit etc etc, and I’m not a heavy smoker BUT! I actually go out of my way to not smoke around others. Always outside, if I see people coming along I’ll cross the road or shift to suit the wind. It’s not enough though is it? The looks that are cast my way like I’m some sort of Leper ringing a fucking bell I can take, but the pronounced sniffing and coughing that always follows is getting the old gander up.

Should I quit? Absolutely, but for now it’s my choice and my money. I despise fat people (amongst many) but I certainly don’t go around audibly tutting and shaking my head at every Jabba The Hut I encounter in Aldi or Asda. I think the next time it happens I’m just going to go out of my way to blow it right into their eyes. The Cunts.

Nominated by Roger the Shrubber.. son of Roger

88 thoughts on “Smoking intolerance

  1. Not totally with this cunting because, as an ex smoker, I find that occasionally the smallest waft of fag smoke will catch in my throat and make me cough. I don’t make a production out of it and I think that smokers are rather demonized. If you’re going to try banning smoking in public outdoor places then you should also ban all petrol/diesel engines.

    • Gave up year n half ago, smoked 20 a day, but like the odd waft of someone smoking, bit nostalgic! When a kid in 70s the upstairs on a bus was full of blokes smoking, like a sauna! If id of said” ‘im a 8yr old and your effecting my health and polluting the environment! I demand you stop immediately! Like greta thunberg some labourer would of slapped me unconscious!:)

  2. Good Cunting, Roger.

    Bunch of sanctimonious pricks. It’s that pathetic fake cough and wafting of the hands that gets me. I’ve even seem them do it in the beer-garden when a few of us are enjoying a pint and cigarette. They’re normally sat about 20 yards away sipping their fucking orange-juice while their brats run around screaming.
    I like to add to their disgust by swearing loudly and letting out a few rasping burbs. ( I don’t try the same with farts any longer,frankly, it’s not worth the risk).

    Fuck Off.

    • I reckon a good fart expelled with maximum effort would be a great idea.
      Imagine their disgust at seeing someone crap themselves, then the howls as the stench of shit hits them.

    • It’s no problem for me.
      Society has worse things to deal with, like some of the turds on the pavement, which certainly haven’t come out of a dog’s arse…
      Not forgetting dear old Mavis, of course.

      • yep I found that once, I was taking a cut through in Guildford and found a massive log, I thought “that must be a massive dog” saw the Kentucky tissue next to it and thought “it can wipe its arse too” (responsible dog owner here I pick up)

  3. Anti smoking bigots are worse than smokers. Finger wagging killjoy cunts who think they are so fucking superior.
    I don’t smoke, by the way.

    • And the worse ones of all are the ‘reformed’ smokers. yes, it was alright when I did smoke, but now?……… Cunts. And I AM a reformed smoker for 15 years now, but STILL get a craving now and then. If it wasn’t for the threat of another heart bypass, I’d probably start again.

      • I stopped nearly 10 years ago but I’m self-aware enough to know that a single drag would probably have me on 20 a day overnight.

      • yep I found that once, I was taking a cut through in Guildford and found a massive log, I thought “that must be a massive dog” saw the Kentucky tissue next to it and thought “it can wipe its arse too” (responsible dog owner here I pick up)

  4. This will go on as long as smokers and non-smokers are expected to occupy the same spaces. I’ve said it before, there should be separate places for both, smoking pubs and non-smoking pubs. As an ex-smoker I don’t want their fumes anywhere near me, but I remember how satisfying a cigarette can be and I wouldn’t deny anyone the right to light up.

    • I said before the smoking ban came in that landlords and breweries should be allowed to decide for themselves whether or not to allow smoking in their pubs. That way, it would give smokers and non-smokers their own places to go for a pint and, if allowed, a smoke. But that would have been fair and democratic, and we all know that control freak Blair didn’t do fairness or democracy. And now, what few pubs we have left are all non-smoking, and the fucking extreme non-smokers are STILL whingeing, because they don’t like having to walk past people smoking outside the doors. Well tough shit dickheads, you got what you wanted, don’t complain about a few people having a tab outside the door, because it’s YOUR fucking fault.

      • I see it as an attack on the working class. The demise of Bingo halls comes to mind. When it came in they lost over half of their custom. It has recovered somewhat. But the places are so…not conducive to sociability. The same with pubs. Destroyed my social life really. I would be outside most of the night in the cold. Gave it up in the end. I suppose there are health issues…but beneath it is the the self righteous prigs in power banning a popular pastime. A crime against sociability.

      • A small concession to the 100,000 people per year who die prematurely due to smoking a ‘drug’ so pointless that it doesn’t even produce a high.

  5. Smokers have no respect for themselves and consequently others, It’s not a shitty habit, it’s utterly retarded. To spend your money on a ‘drug’ that produces no high, costs a fortune, and ruins yours and other peoples health shows mental difficiency and complete disrespect for life. Smokers cannot control their behaviour which makes them WEAK and STUPID, perfect prey to marketers and to the vain desire to look cool. I mean why would somebody choose to smoke other than to project an image? You cunts actually think you look like Humphrey Bogart and Anne Bancroft.

    I was at a cancer centre the other other day and naturally there’s a crowd of brainless smokers outside the entrance that the cancer patients have to pass through. I confronted one retard and his exact words – ‘They’re going to die anyway so fuck ’em’. This statement says a lot about about the selfish and destructive attitude of smokers. You basically have to be an idiot to line the pockets of tabacco execs so they can live a high life while you splutter and cuntstain your way through a shortening life with a negative attitude and failing health. Enjoy your tar dickheads.

    • A clearer case of psychological projection I am yet to see on this site.

      • Good Evening gents, elderly cat owning women of the North must have feared your presence when striding into their village to weed out heresy.

      • I’ve turned the focus of my attentions to something far more important than mere heresy ….The exposure of The Love That Dare Not Speak It’s Name (that’s a laugh….you can’t shut the buggers up)

      • My little brother had worms once. Mum had to pick them out his arsehole with a pair of tweezers. Oh how I laughed!

        Don’t think they were the semen eating variety though. If so they were wasting their time, he was only 6.

      • @RTC….Well, fascinating and revealing as your childhood recollections may be….
        Are you feeling OK?

      • Not particularly Dick, but that’s not important right now.

        My reply was in reference to your latest nom: Cunts Who Deny Science.

        I thought that’s what you were referring to viz “The exposure of The Love That Dare Not Speak It’s Name…”

        I have to go to the Chinese chippy now.

      • Really, you come on to a perfectly respectable thread discussing Matthew Hopkins and regale us with tales of spunk-eating worms and tweezers….extraordinary.

        🙂 .

      • Ha ha – you can’t fool me Dick, there weren’t any Gays in 1645, I wasn’t born yesterday you know! 😂

  6. As a life long non smoker really cannot understand the enjoyment people get from smoking but if people want to do so, and if this does not affect those who choose not to, cannot see what the problem is. Unless a beer garden is a designated non smoking area the smokers have as much right to be there as anyone else. By definition a beer garden is outside. Right?

    Remember when a teenager the morning after a nights drinking, my clothes used to stink of cigarette smoke. Those days thankfully are long gone, having said that it is a huge shame the number of pubs that have closed down as I feel they are an important part of British heritage. In addition to the imposed smoking bans the greedy landlords and brewering companies must shoulder much of the blame for this happening.

    Rarely go to pubs these days, simply too fucking expensive and the food is worse than I can make at home.

    • The oldscool pubs are a den of wifebeaters and deadbeats, and are being replaced by continental style cafes where you can get a quality coffee or a beer if you prefer. I for one welcome the change.

      • The old school pubs were a refuge for men, a place where we could escape, chill out and not be hassled.
        The “Bistro cafe” is a load of bollocks, because if it was “Continental” you would be able to have a fag in it!
        More over a decent fag nice black tobacco and not that shitty blonde stuff smoked over here.

    • I lived in Switzerland for 8 years and, believe me, a smell that lingers on your clothes far, far worse than any baccy is that of “fondue chinoise.” An utterly VILE idea – a fondue pot NOT filled with cheesy delights, but bubbling oil, into which diners dip manky bits of processed meat &c., usually deep-frozen and inadequately thawed, thereby causing inevitable d&v. And it’s not just the smell that seeps into your togs, it’s the bloody grease. Gallons of it.
      Stick to cheese fondue, even if the fondue pot smells of vomit the next morning…

      • Perhaps you would therefore spare a thought for poor cunts like me who had to “wear” 2½ the real fondue chinoise on location.

        A very good evening to you,HBH¹. I’ve been practising Widor VI, Messiaen Combat de la Mort et de la Vie, and Bach’s Schübler preludes over Easter, with modest result.

        I had the misfortune of 2½ years’ misery in the lieu de naissance of 火锅, or hot pot. That was Chongqing, btw, and a properly nasty experience it was all round. You should count yourself bloody lucky you had the option of Gruyère whilst in der Schweiz.

        ¹To others, sorry for the patronising, smug, faux erudition…. If only you knew!

      • Nudge nudge, wink wink, I get your drift CS !!

        I am amazed that it exists outside CH – I thought it was just one of these dog-awful things that a Swiss Jamie Flubberlips had invented to have a bit of a larf.
        But you survived relatively unscarred ??

        I admire your taste in music. I hope you get access to at least a half-decent organ; it is even said that some toasters are getting bloody good, these days…

  7. I love a fag every now and then. I keep a pack of Marlboro reds on hand in case the urge strikes. I am well aware of being somewhere public and feeling like a leper because I just want to have a smoke. Yet these generations of young cunts and their cunting vapes that smell like mango and banana (facepalm). They seem to constantly suck on them like dummies. (teats)
    I didn’t smoke for twenty years and I remember the days of hazy smoke filled pubs and quit in my early twenties. Those were fun days when you could check anything in your body and not get cancer, and STD or a fatty liver.
    Just sayin’

    • Yup, you’ve struck a chord – possibly an augmented fourth – with vaping. I really wondered what the appeal is, and you’ve nailed it: sucking on a teat. And the tart’s boudoir smell – yuck. Fish paste would be more realistic.

      • I assume your a yank with the name Caliangel? personally I always hated Marlboros tasted too much like small cigars I smoked nearly every brand but rothmans and export A were my favorites.

        You guys piss on vaping but i literally qiit smoking from vaping and smoking hash so… The flavors of vape juice aren’t all bad some are nastier then others tho wouldn’t be surprised if they had fish flavored vape hubbard

  8. Don’t get me started on coffee in pubs. Disgusting foul smelling slop. Take it outside you dirty anti social bastards. 😀

    • Coffee in pubs? That a ‘southern’ thing? Never heard of that, sounds bit gay! Get glassed in my boozer if asked for skinny latte! Ffs

  9. As a smoker I think the worst things are the indoor smoking rooms at airports. Jesus fucking Christ just breathing in one of these things at Paris airport is like inhaling a packet at once.

    I went to one in Tokyo once with 25 people crammed in and it almost put me off for life.

    • Been there, got that T-shirt, but threw it away, as I couldn’t get the smell out LazyBiscuits.

  10. well I fart in the face of fashion and smoke a pipe, I find that uk fags are week crap even the hand rolled ones are a bit week, so its me, my pipe and a pouch of Clan.
    also I have one of those wonderful flat based pipes that I can just sit down and it doesn’t fall over, coupled with the fact I quite often have grease or shit on my hands its much more preferable to a cigarette

    • I seem to remember being told by my rather unconventional and most excellent next door neighbour that he smoked a pipe at 16.

      My late father did tell me he started smoking soon 1940, aged 10. But a pipe?

      Don’t think I have ever seen anyone (or even seen a photo) of someone smoking a pipe at this age before?

      But will admit to have led a sheltered life.

      • I went through a phase of pipe smoking at the age of 19. Dutch aromatic stuff, ‘Clan’ or ‘Holland House’ if memory serves. Gave the lungs a right good workout.

      • well RTC being a Nicotine addict myself I became unstuck on the NHS with regards to the “old habit” and have spent perhaps too long abroad, English cigarettes are in my mind “a bit gay” no offence meant to current smokers, but they do not have the required oompf of a decent fag, so overpriced quantity makes up for quality.

      • I started smoking a pipe aged 18. I blame my German teacher, who smoked Borkum Riff. It smelled divine, but was a rough smoke.

        I preferred Dunhill’s Royal Yacht™, Rattray’s Red Rapparee™, and Gold Block™ for a plainer flavour.

        Now-a-days, the only pipefuls I regularly enjoy, although in contravention of the 1971 Act, afford me the twin benefits of a good night’s sleep and the sure knowledge you’re supporting the local economy.

  11. I’m lucky i only light a fag when i think of sex. I’m down to 563 a day now.

  12. I smoked for 26 yrs and have given up for 3 ….Curiously now when I smell it (normally a few paces behind some peasant on the street) It brings out a huge anger response and I just want to lash out .

    It used to be great when I smoked…now only cunts do it. Funny that .

  13. If the Government actually gave a shit about the plebs, they’d ban smoking, outright. Problem is, they can’t afford to. Very few “healthy” folk contribute as much (via direct taxation on tobacco products) to the coffers (and thereby the beleaguered NHS), as do smokers. Even bigger bonanza is that smokers often fall off the perch earlier than healthy cunts, so less pension for the government to hand over.

    Great cunting, Roger (Son Of)

  14. Off topic,but…
    Some PhD loon in the middle east says gayness is caused by tapeworms eating semen. She also states that Islamic teaching reccomends suppositories.

    So putting things up your bottom stops you being gay?

    • Evening Krav

      If you look in the Nomination section,you’ll see that I’ve done a piece on this very subject.

  15. Fully with you on this Roger.

    36 years ago me and my best mate decided to stop smoking together. He spent the following 2 months+ ranting about all the inconsiderate cunts who were smoking wherever he went, blaming them for every setback in his quest to be free of the evil weed, we couldn’t go anywhere without him becoming apoplectic whenever we encountered some poor cunt enjoying a quiet smoke…

    PS: my last packet of 20 B&H cost £1.65.

    PPS: Since then I have saved (as a 25 a day cunt) approx £70,000 from not smoking. (Figure allows for tabs inflation)

    • “Since then I have saved (as a 25 a day cunt) approx £70,000 from not smoking.”

      You tight-arsed gimp RTC ! Not even considered how much of your cash could’ve gone into government coffers ? Utterly thoughtless !!

    • I love the bit from Bristol AntiFa:

      “If you are unsure what to say, there is a suggested script.”

      Obviously a bit short of independent thought…

  16. Perhaps for the elders it’s one of few enjoyments left for them, as they witness Britain slide into its own sinkhole of depravity. I don’t find smokers offensive, as long as they are considerate with it. What I do find rather intolerable, is it being used as a class war, and the endless insinuations that a smoker must be of lower breeding & integrity. I would imagine the older baby boomers have earned the right to spend their money as they wish, and any National Health costs their addiction may incur. The increase in 1st, 2nd, & third same generation families claiming benefits rises every year. Buying an endless supply of cigarettes & drink with someone elses money is galling to say the least. Non smokers do not hold the monopoly over smokers in the Brains & Brawn stake’s.

  17. Never smoked, but have always been around a few mates that have. Doesn’t bother me, never has. Your body, your rules.

  18. I enjoy the aroma of burning fresh tobacco to be honest, it’s very fragrant and nostalgic to me – it’s like that waft you get when you open a coffee jar. Fucking nazis banning it from pubs.. that smell of an old fashioned pub with lots of wood fixtures cured with tobacco smoke, beer and saltnvinegar crisps. Fucking loved that smell.

    If you’re in an open air space, ex-smoker or not, don’t be a sanctimonious cunt about people smoking near you or second hand smoke. It’s not a leak from Chernobyl for christ sake, you’re not going to get cancer.

    Car and diesel fumes will fuck you up a million times faster, and if you live in a city then complaining about smokers makes you a complete fanny.

    Silly habit though. Listening to my father cough his lungs up keeps me from making it more than a once in a blue moon enjoyment.

  19. You can really fuck right off. Am I feckless? Yeah probably a bit but then again I do own a £4.5M company so fuck it – I have earned the luxury.

    Stop being a judgemental cunt!

  20. I was an 80 a day chain smoker and have it up when they hit £1 a packet. I thought “Fuck it. I’m not spending 4 quid a day on ciggies” Gave it up instantly. No withdrawal and never missed it. You can’t cut down, you just have to stop.

    I support smokers right to smoke. They know the risks and its their body and their choice. It’s called freedom…

    • Tabs were £1.65 a pack when I stopped. Last time I looked they were over £12.

      Amazed you found it so easy to quit, especially as an 80 a day man. What did you do with all the spare time suddenly at your disposal?

      For me physical withdrawal symptoms were hard to navigate, but eased off after a few weeks. Far worse was the psychological dependence which took over a year to dissipate. Even after 5 years I’d occasionally fancy a fag… and often wake up in a cold sweat having dreamt I’d succumbed once more to the wicked weed…

      • I’ve had those dreams, woke up disappointed and convinced that I’d fucked 3 years abstinence back to zero.

        But when I was giving up, I’ve sweated off them for 36 hours and I find this conversation in my head: “look you’ve had no smokes for 36 hours, you can get off them any time you like! So go on, have a fag!”

    • That smokers have the right to kill themselves, and should even be encouraged toward that end, is not the contended issue here.

  21. I remember years ago standing at the bus station having a smoke, when some jobsworth prick decided to tell me that I ‘couldn’t smoke here’. I said to him, ‘is my smoking here upsetting the fragrant balance of petrol and Diesel exhaust fumes on the air?’. He warned me again – I just told him to fuck off. Never saw him again.

  22. You should quit smoking tho Roger seriously its stupid as fuck, I’m not trying to preach to the choir we all have our vices but I use to be a heavy smoker myself so I should know having started smoking at 15 yrs old

    I have been off the toxic junk for nearly 3 years (I actually documented part of my quitting on this very website with updates on my withdrawals and progress) and I’ve saved thousands of dollars from quitting tobacco since and improved my lungs and my overall health. “You cunts actually think you look like Humphrey Bogart and Anne Bancroft” Mandriodz makes a really good point here hollywood literally marked on propaganda to get more people to smoke by using handsome actors and sexy actresses and made millions doing so

  23. Nothing makes me more happy then a good quality hand rolled ciggarette or exquisitely crafted spliff.

    I know it’s bad for me it’s been rammed down my gullet since my youth but I don’t care . I love the flavour and the texture of the smoke.

    And if anyone trys any of that bollocks hand waving or coughing I make sure to give them a lungful free of charge . Cunts.

  24. Smoking is for cunts.

    You think the people at the top of these companies are sitting there tugging on a roll up on their private island? are they fuck.

    Same goes for gambling, junk food, drinking heavily and sport…all things made by cunts for cunts.

    • Like credit cards…

      I seem to remember a boss of Barclaycard (?) or similar organisation being grilled by a Commons Select Committee years ago. He was asked about his “product/service.”

      He laughed, and more or less said it was for mugs.

      But they have their uses, and freedom is vital.

  25. I smoked for 20 years or so and was fully aware of the health risks, cost etc. I just fucking liked it. I gave up a few years back but made a pact with myself that if I ever became one of these tutting ex-smokers I’d start again.

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