Hospital Managers

Hospital managers. Should be called manacunts. Brain-dead talentless administrators given elevated sense of importance by that arch-cunt Tony Blair. Want to know why the NHS is fucked? For every member of staff who actually treats a patient, the NHS employs EIGHT of these useless cunts. Divisional manacunt, assistant divisional manacunt, deputy assistant divisional manacunt. All sitting around drinking coffee, writing pointless bullshit on post-it-notes, having meetings to arrange the next meeting, achieving nothing other than their own promotions and fuck the carnage they leave behind. Axe 95% of them and spend those billions where they’re needed. Useless shiny cheap-suited, pointy-shoed, scabby goatee, clipboard-wielding,iPad-carrying cock juggling thundercunts!

Nominated by Doc Cunt

28 thoughts on “Hospital Managers

  1. Fantastic cunting Doc. Reading this is very therapeutic and has really elevated my mood for about 10 seconds. Then I remember the state of the country and my experiences with hospital managers. I need a pump-action Remington 12 gauge.No, I’m not going to end it all. I have an appointment at the local hospital this morning.

  2. My Mrs is a Doc in a local hospital working in a geriatric care dept. She tells me every day of nurses being completely fuck rude to the consultants, registrars and trainee doctors alike. Tales of consultants inserting canulars FFS as there are insufficient doctors for the daily onslaught of patients to treat.

    Managers nowhere to be seen.

    I asked her why the fuck the consultants don’t make a stand to senior management against this bullshit. She admitted she doesn’t know why but I had a very valid point.

    Just saying, Doc Cunt. Why don’t you Doc’s make a stand against this bullshit.

    By the way I just heard that the tube drivers are to strike again about their pay…

    • 🎶The greedy bastards want extra pay
      For sitting on their ass all day,
      Even though they earn 100k…🎶

      • There is a new self serving and selfish attitude in NHS staff these days. Cultured and developed over many years of droplet infection, causing a general contagion. It starts of course with the political interference of the meddling twats, in their eagerness to hive off contracts. There is more corruption and graft nowadays, and the blue logo, is exactly that. A fucking logo only.

  3. I imagine the NHS will get worse as each successive generations of newbies joins the workforce. Selfless devotion isn’t a trait millenials are renowned for.

    Is it all down to red tape? If there is a box to tick, somebody is required to wield the pen. Remove the red tape then you can remove the Managers.

    • But if the boxes aren’t ticked the no win no fee vultures move in eager to feed on the bottomless pit of the taxpayers purse. It’s all cyclical, wherever there is public money the politicians make sure their friends can help themselves. It’s all a fucking con.

  4. Eight superfluous managers for every worker at the coalface? That’s Socialism for you. And the EU. Florence Nightingale must be spinning in whatever it is she spins in.

    My mother was a nurse during the war, and a Nursing Sister into the 1950s. Even back then she was concerned about the growing numbers of pointless bureaucrats interfering in the recently formed NHS.

    Off road: noticed the EU are getting really panicky about No Deal. Tusk is offering a 1 year extension. Only recently Druncker et al were saying “there can be no delay.” Unless they still haven’t banked our £39 billion ransom, of course…

    Great cunting Doc.

  5. I watched an old episode of George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces last night.

    It featured a Midwifery Sister from Nottingham called Mandy Griffith who’d bought a bizarre house on the Nottingham Park Estate for £397,000 in 2016.


    Mandy set a budget of £80k for this overrated Mackam to blow on his latest vanity project.

    He employed a right pair of cunting architects to oversee the project who blew the budget by 50%.

    But what got me was how the fuck did 49 year old Midwifery Sister pay for all this shit.

    • bit of a bone of contention in the NHS that one, they have flat pay.
      so mid wife in london gets paid the same as the one in Nottingham but there is an astronomical difference in living costs.

      • Thats not true, all nhs sraff that work in london are paid a premium for doing so.
        Its a percentage of your particular banding.

  6. Off topic, but: I am off today and was going to watch last night’s Question Time.

    However, I would need a vomit bowel as David Lammy and Ash Sarkar were on.

    Two totally useless Cunts with nothing intelligent to say….

  7. As with all these positions and privatisations, they were there to “save” money.
    lets say bin men and a fictitious budget.
    Bin men cost us say £100 and they had government pensions so were an on going cost.
    So mr Private comes along and says I can do it for £80!
    Fucking right on says mr dip shit government!
    Mr private pays the bin men £20 (they top up on tax credits and income support from the government) He pockets £60 and laughs all the way to the bank and the Government are now paying £140 for the same service but £60 of that is bleeding out a different department.
    NHS, Rail, Power, Telecoms its all so fucked, but that’s mainly due to the Unions being such twats in the 70’S and Magie killing them.

  8. Morning Dick.

    Nice one… suggest you post it on the CUNT ME nominations page.

    Spot on mate, its like picking up socks and putting them in the right place sometimes.
    Love Admin

    • You’re right, RTC. I’ve copied it and put it in the nom. section.


      So did we and we deleted the other one

  9. You missed out the Diversity manacunts, compliance manacunts, safeguarding manacunts, equality manacunts and others sucking the fiscal lifeblood out of the twitching corpse the NHS has become. And don’t get me started on the multifarious “diverse” appointees to various bodies, committees and quangos. Don’t whatever you do, bring up the third of a million annual influx of ungrateful gimmes who have never and will never put a penny into the system, while we get milked for every fucking penny while being pushed to the back of the queue.

  10. I was a cheap suited pointy shoe’d wanka for the NHS, during the placement year for my finance degree.

    Absolutely spot on cunting Sir!

    Meetings for the sake of meetings and hundreds of the cunts all earning £40k plus.

    NHS Performance figures are all fudged too by the way!

  11. This cunting only confirms – and amplifies – my impression of how cunt-infested, top-down, box-ticking and dysfunctional the NHS has become. In fact, not just the NHS. Any large organisation, especially those receiving Government money, will have pyramids of managers, limited only by the inventiveness of creating spurious titles for the cunts. I work in one. The major difference between mine and the NHS is that thousands of peoples’ lives are not endangered by our inefficiency, incompetence and lack of funding for anything other than management’s comfort. Specialities: incessant meetings which accomplish nothing (or worse), impenetrable barriers to questioning from below, total ignorance of what’s going on below, the manufacture of work for others to do to make life easier for management. Oh, and NEVER being available in person.

    The base problem is that rather than training the workforce to do its job properly, and trusting it to get on with it, every action and every hour of the day has to meet the requirements of a pile of cunts (with a beancounter at the top ), none of whom are required to know a fucking thing about the job itself.

    It will be a hard job retraining all these surplus cunts to do useful work and accept responsibility for it once the Komodist revolution runs its course, and I am reluctantly forced to consider extermination camps. Run by the guards, with no management whatever. Cunting enthusiastically approved, and some part of your pain is certainly felt, Doc.

  12. Not much that can be added to your cunting, Doc Cunt.

    Anyone who has spent even five minutes working in the NHS could concur that these ‘Managers’ are totally useless, overpaid cunts who do jack shit for their salary.

    I think they know it too. I think they look at the paltry sums that wards are functioning off of and laugh all the way to the bank when they compare it with their pay slips. But hey, who gives a shit if that is what the assholes want to pay them?

    I have never met a productive NHS Manager. EVER. I really do not know what they do for their top dollar wage as whatever it is, it sure wasn’t seen or felt on the shop floor. My former Manager used to swan down to the ward on the very odd occasion, ask if everything was ‘ok’ (knowing the response that she would get….the one she wants to hear) and then fuck off back to her ivory tower for another doughnut and cup of coffee, fat bitch)

    Nothing has changed or improved since they appeared on the scene…..NOTHING. They are a complete fucking waste of money.


  13. Hospitals employ bed managers to ensure that patients who no longer need to be there can be discharged to make way for the next needy person. I had a situation about six months ago at a hospital which shall remain nameless where I underwent a procedure and was kept in overnight for observation. The following day I was pissed about all day long simply because they didn’t want to spend a few quid on my transport home, which was my only option. That bed should have been made available to a new patient instead of having me sat on it fully clothed all day waiting to go home.

    • When my mother (may Dog rot her soul) was dying in hospital, they had “Pillow Czars” – seemingly obsessed with the idea that millions of pounds were haemorrhaging from the NHS because of pillow theft.

      JC alfeckinmighty, if I wanted to nick a pillow, I’d at least go somewhere that offered ones that people hadn’t puked / dribbled / died all over.
      Maybe a Travelodge ??

      • From my experience, I wouldn’t nick a travel lodge pillow “puked / dribbled / died all over” might be preferable to “stained with KY and used to prop the body in unnatural positions that make for better access”
        But its your choice

      • Sadly, this is truth.

        I lost count of the number of times I hunted high and low to find a fucking pillow for a new admission. This isn’t simply down to nicked pillows, this is also due to the fact that when a patient is sent in their bed to X-ray/MRI/some other department, the pillows they have magically go AWOL… their pillows end up somewhere else in the hospital, thus the lack of pillows. It is a fucking farce.

        The least someone can expect when they land on a ward is a damned pillow. Mind you, most of them were fucked beyond belief, flat as pancakes and covered in the bodily remnants of some other poor fucker.

      • 2 years running I sold Royal surrey Guildford fans and air conditioning units, on year 2 I asked what had happened to the other units ( Customer feedback required, they could be shit/broken/).
        Turned out that they had been nicked, who the fuck nicks fans and split unit air conditioners from a hospital?

  14. I am a sensitive soul, and would like to ask that trigger words such as ‘Tony’ and ‘Blair’ be prefaced by a Trigger Word Warning. Despite the fact that nearly every cunting here has a valid (trigger word alert!) Tony Blair dimension…eg in the case of the NHS, increasing its cost by means of 30-year PFI cash-sponge contracts and facilitating the exponential growth of functionless management.

    Tony has been touring the shitholes of Africa this week, punting his expertise in government and looking for contracts for the cunts who pay him, none of which are British. Senegal, Cote d’Ivoire, Ghana, Togo, and I think today he will be in Rwanda grinning on cue for its war criminal President For The Next Thirty Years Paul Kagame at some big networking fest. There is talk of an African Common Market, incidentally – good luck with that one, you corrupt, disorganised cunts and your cunt dictators.

    Which is why we have been hearing a little less of his vapid and condescending opinions on Brexit this week. Normal service will almost certainly be resumed when he gets back, but look, ok, wot you godda do guys is pick a pocket or two, you know?

  15. Two Hospital Managers sat chatting over coffee. “Hey Peter,your secretary is bloody sexy!” “Yeh,” he replies, “she’s a robot. You squeeze right boob for dictation, the left for typing letters. I’ll lend her to you for a day Tony, if you want! See how you get on.”

    24hours later,Tony calls Peter, “Hey, you shitty bastard!, you didn’t tell me the hole in between her legs was a fu****g pencil sharpener.”

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