Gender alignment

Gender alignment is cunting me off!…

I’m not talking some bloke wanting to trade his vitals in and chop off his tadger, no(although that is fucking odd as well). I’m talking about the convergence of the genders. Women want equality – fine. But should it not be equality for all – not just for them on the topics they want to fucking ping off on…….For example, men will usually work fucking longer than women. Oh, and men will usually work in a more physically demanding job than women. You are more likely to go to fucking prison if you are a fella than a lass. Blokes retire fucking later, die fucking younger and are more likely to suffer from fucking mental illness….(coz of all the shit women keep fucking moaning about)….you are more likely to fucking die in a theatre of war or suffer from PTSD due to serving in a conflict if you are a man. Die in a car crash, die in a fucking terrorist attack and be a victim of violent crime are more likely if you have a cock and bollocks rather than a friend called Wendy…..
Oh…..and likely to have limited access to your offspring post divorce and more likely to be homeless if you are a fucking man than a women. These are readily available facts. So stop fucking ebbing away at my fated fucking gender because “the bookies on Grand National day are not female friendly” and “some fat brickie who hasn’t had a shag in ten years wolf whistled you” or “in McDonald’s a 17 year old lad sniggered when you were fucking breast feeding”.

Now go shave your fucking fanny and make me a brew! x

Nominated by DAz Wud

41 thoughts on “Gender alignment

  1. Fucking women will never be satisfied until they are superior to men, if you think men abuse power just wait until women are in charge!

    Evil Cunts!

  2. But the T-shirts given out at the completion of the London Marathon aren’t feminine enough….
    How do you spell “fucking contradictory cunts”.. ???.

  3. I’m not sure that most women do want equality. It’s mainly the ugly ones who say “We can do anything that a man can do” because they know that their sheer lack of physical allure means that they could never get a man. “Sisters are doing it for themselves”,indeed….they’re doing it for themselves because they can’t get a man to do “it” for them.

    Most women are happy to accept that their place is in the home looking after their man. It’s what they’re bred for. Too much education is what angries up their blood. I believe that reasonable looking girls should be educated in the skills that they will really need in latter life…cooking,cleaning, darning ( I’ve got some socks in dire need if any of the Ladies out there can find time between watching Jeremy Kyle,gossiping and drinking wine). Fair enough educating the future ugly ones a bit further…typing,waitressing etc.,but anything more is just a waste of time and money and results in them getting Uppity.

    These weedy men who let women dictate their lives are just one step away from The Gayness. The only real men who let women take the lead are Gigolos,and good luck to them. I’ve often thought about becoming one myself… lard-arses,wrinklies and fugglies need not apply to become clients.

    Fuck Off.

    • Hope you’re ready for an absolute avalanche of replies from Hollywood starlets/models Mr Fiddler!

      • Hollywood starlets are out I’m afraid, SH. My previous incarnation under the name “Harvey Winestein” came to rather an unfortunate end and has, I fear, tipped the Hollywood crowd off that the handsome,debonair Gentleman who promised so much may,in fact,not have been quite the catch that they imagined.

      • All those Hollywood starlets have got crabs…
        As Rafa Benitez would say, ‘Fact!’

    • Careful Dick, your new career will make Krav jealous.

      Where’s the fucking Reichsbank gold? Your sister is getting on my tits!

      • The gold has,frankly,been a bit of a nightmare, Mike. I realised that it’s “rightful” owners had got wind of my modest nest-egg…hordes of Homburg hat wearing,big beaked Gentleman lurking in the undergrowth sniffing the air like the Hounds smelling a Dark Key. I set a cunning trap…I laid out a trail of small lumps of gold leading to my bull-pen….sure enough, out they came…grabbing and fighting over my bait-trail…once they were safely gathered in the pen, I dropped the the whole bunch. However it’s not been the roaring success that i hoped for, I now have a herd of really rather demanding Gentleman asking for kosher food and threatening to annexe my hay -shed… If I hear one more “Oy vey…where’s my chicken soup,and hand over your hay shed” I won’t be responsible for my actions. I opened the gate,but the buggers are refusing to leave. I’m at a loss to know what to do, Mike. It really is a most unsatisfactory state of affairs.

      • Morning HBH.

        I rang Jeremy. He suggested setting the Hounds on them and then he’ll send Baroness Chakrabati round to do a report denying the very existence of any canines at all. I’d take him up on it,but I’m afraid that the hounds won’t entertain some uppity Sooty….shame, I might have been willing to slip her a length.

      • Baroness Kickhercuntin looks like Betty Boop after being smacked full on in the face with a heavy frying pan.

        Heidi Allen and the Baroness? Your taste in women is remarkably catholic Dick.

      • 🎶
        Ram it, ram it, ram it
        Ram it up her poop chute 🎶

        (Frank Zappa 1979)

      • Afternoon Dick.

        The Devil wears Prada, and the Pope wears tocic amounts of lipstick and fuck-me high heels (probably Blahniks).

        I used to admit to having catholic tastes, but these days I’d just be honest with a bird, and come clean – obviously in a “filthy” sort of way.

    • Dick. You’re a class act: “Angries up their blood”.
      I don’t want equality. I’m already on fucking top.
      I’ve got five boys, one girl and they’re all beaut. In their own ways.

      • Don’t be shy, CA. If you want to take advantage of my gigoloing service,you only need ask…have you got your own darning set? My socks’ll need doing before anything else gets considered.

      • The lifestyle of a gigolo sounds identical to a male MP if you ask me, as in this extract from a book ………
        “Being a gigolo is different to being an escort or prostitute. I don’t receive money; I provide a woman with great sex and she picks up the bills. My clients ply me with champagne and fund expensive breaks to places like New York and LA. I’m also showered with gifts such as suits and sports cars” (Taken from Confessions of a Gigolo by Chuckup Yerbhuna)

      • Morning BSC.

        I’d be willing to do Heidi Allen up the wrong ‘un if she offered to buy me a new Hilux pick-up.

      • Morning Mr F, I think you’d be able to have your pick of any of the Changelings but I’d really have to use my imagination as to what Soubry could offer you!

      • I’d stretch Soubry’s old turkey neck right out. Give her tonsils a right good tickling. I’m not a proud man,BSC. The auld trout’d have something to chew on by the time my balls were resting on her chin.

      • You’re the second one to offer his services this year. The only thing I won;t do is odd socks. Odd socks invariably become wank socks.

      • I’m not a stalker CA and I don’t wish to pry but are you any relation to Wanksock who posts on this site? You darn them and he fills them?

    • Au contraire Mr Fiddlers, the carriers of The Gayness are more masculine than the beta male wimps who call themselves ‘feminists’ and screech ‘believe all women!’ and ‘hashtag he for she’ type bollocks.

  4. There should be two more symbols added to that list in the shape of a gnarled old cunt and a flaccid cock – these would be hugely appropriate for an entire swathe of cunts and wankers out there! (mostly in Londonistan)

  5. There are either 2 genders or 7 billion genders. You either accept biology dictates gender or you believe that each individual is their own unique gender.

    Sanity dictates two genders has worked for as long as humans ha e existed, before we were aware of genders as a thing and we just did a nature dictates.

    People need to get real, a life is an insignificant moment in time in the great scheme of things, why spend it self absorbed in bullshit that never has and never will matter?

  6. Fecking drives me mental the feminising of the modern male a whole generation nancified. Women have always had the upper hand over men. They have multiple orgasms we don’t and even a pig ugly one can get a rogering an ugly bloke can’t even if he has a wonderful personality which us chaps have been told for years by women is more important than looks.

    • Without the looks no woman will get close enough to a man to find out about his personality. And let’s face it, a big cock and even bigger wallet trumps looks outright.

    • Polls reckon women are attracted to blokes with a sense of humour. Don’t recall too many fillies gelling up over Ken Dodd

  7. When some clever cunt finally invents the perfect robot woman the real wimminz are in big fucking trouble.
    The cunt will make a fortune, guaranteed.

  8. Lammy’s on LBC right now. Apparently he had a friend who was blown up on 7/7… Strangely no mention of Grenfell yet.

    • He is probably waiting whilst he mentions his friends that died on Piper Alpa, The Herald Of Free Enterprise, space shuttle Columbia and, not forgetting, the friend that died in Bin Ladens cave.

      Just be patient……

    • Not forgetting the Blitz, the Munich Air Crash, Aberfan, Zeebrugge etc…
      Oh, silly me… There were no ‘people of colour’ in those tragedies… So Lammy won’t give a fuck about them….

  9. That’s the problem though. Some woman wants parity with the doctor working in a surgery even though she only cleans the fucking place, that would be equitable in her mind. Got an idea love, if you want to earn the same as a man, do the same fucking job, on the same shifts for the same number of hours. If you want to fuck off early to pick the kids up from school, spend 4 days a month at home ‘on sick’ then don’t complain that you don’t earn as much. Oh, and I haven’t yet heard of a bloke who decides to take a year off to buy a dog and look after it, then demand to return to the same job, part-time, whilst insisting on the same weekly/monthly pay.

    • “….the same weekly/monthly pay”
      Ahem. The practice where I work is “to return to the same job, part-time”, at a higher pay-grade. And when you reappear, to bring the mewling brat in from time to time to be cooed over by your co-workers, including the emasculated males. The dog? They banned those years ago here.

      Oh, and then to demand admiration for doing the job (inefficiently) as well as reproducing. Total cunt zone.

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