Online Bingo

On-line betting but bingo in particular.
There has already been an eloquent cunting of the Sun Bingo advert but I am referring to the jolly, social, happy atmosphere all these adverts promote.

On-line bingo is not a social event. It is a sad, lonely pursuit aimed at those who can least afford it.

From personal experience I have 2 nieces who lost money they couldn’t afford to these scams.
On-line bingo, and probably all forms of chance related on-line gambling should be banned or strictly regulated. The companies who profit from it are grasping cunts and the users are gullible cunts who don’t understand simple statistics or company greed.


Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

43 thoughts on “Online Bingo

  1. Only women or Gays play bingo. Their husbands should make sure that “the little lady” isn’t squandering the housekeeping money which he provides on such pass-times….although it’s probably the tax-payer who is actually providing it, in the form of child-benefit. Women should have enough to do keeping themselves and their house reasonably tidy for their man,they shouldn’t have the time to gamble if properly taught their position.
    Anyhow, what kind of husband would allow his woman access to the internet? It’ll just unsettle them and give them ideas.

    Fuck them.

    • Morning Mr Fidder, was it a quite night in with the hounds and a bottle of Bushmills at the towers or did Lady Elton convince you to come down to the local with Barrymore and the gang?

      • Morning L.L, never went out last night,but think I might have a look down later. Hopefully the once-a-year Wankers will be too ill after their couple of pints last night to drag their foul wives and appalling brats out again today…really couldn’t stomach some two-faced Prick wishing me All The Best while his simpering,over-made-up wife tries to give me a “New Year Kiss”.
        I hope that their Christmas lights overheated and incinerated their twee little cottages to the ground last night while they were all out being a “community”…fucking incomers. I detest them.

        You get anywhere good?

      • “Once a year wankers!”

        Pure class Dick. Describes the cunts perfectly!


  2. All online gambling is a cunt.
    Don’t these cunts avoid taxes by being based in Gibraltar?
    They should be taxed to fucking hilt to pay for some of the damage that they do.
    Or even better, force them to pay out a certain percentage of their profits in prizes …. 80% for example.
    40% tax for operating in the UK + 80% remainder paid out in prizes.
    They could easily afford it.
    They’d still make money but they wouldn’t ruin quite as many lives while doing so.

    Shut the cunts down completely and sentence the execs to hard labour…..

    • Afternoon Deploy – Rebel without a Cunt should bag you as his Minister for Digital, Culture, Media & Sport… just as soon as he wins the online EuroMillions bingo thingy, or summat, and his Common Sense Party assumes power.

      • Afternoon rtc….
        I couldn’t be a minister. Power corrupts and I know it’d corrupt me.
        I’d be grabbing red telephones and yelling “launch launch launch”, pressing red buttons, locking up my rivals, persecuting anyone I don’t like, lying, slandering, bullying, blackmailing …..
        In fact I’d make quite a good politician thinking about it.
        I should get a job in the EU.

      • Being a Minister could be fun for awhile.

        I’m hoping to be Secretary of State for Health, so I can gain access to the drugs cupboard. I’ll also end free tattoo removals and IVF and free gender reassignments, not to mention silicone beef-ups for aspiring page 3 slags.

        90% of administrators would be out on their ear. And I’d make those foreign cunts pay, unlike now. We throw away something like £1.8 billion treating mooching foreigners. And don’t get me started on the ridiculous prices paid for paracetamol and the non return of crutches…

        ***Breaking News*** The Archcunt of Cunterbury has urged us all to be nice in his New Years address…

        Meanwhile Appeaser May spouts YET AGAIN that “Britain has secured a Brexit deal that delivers on the result of the EU referendum, delivering the Brexit people voted for, and building a country that works for everyone. Taking back control of our borders, laws and money – but protecting jobs, our security, and our precious union as we do so….”


      • Don’t forget to cancel the PFI contracts and bring the SFO in on the contractors. Come to that, the SFO could do with a shakeup too, maybe replacing its suits with 2 Para. That’ll be my job, I think. Minister of The Gravy Train Just Crashed.

  3. That’s a good ruse you have going there DF. Sort of imply you are being ‘ironic’ while actually meaning every word you say . Nice !

    • Morning, Richard.

      That’s the trouble, people sometimes fail to realise that I don’t “do” irony.
      🙂 .

  4. People smugglers to prospective clients: ‘ good news folks, the UK is deploying 2 more boats, greatly increasing the chances that if you get into trouble you will be picked up and taken to be processed, oh and btw. Our price has just gone up.’ We are fuckin nuts.

    • No doubt the people trafficking charities are all queuing up to virtue signal to the world by ferrying ILLEGAL immigrants across the channel as well.
      And no doubt the government will do exactly the same as all other lefties and let em all straight through …..

    • Morning,Rigsby.
      I found that about 7 o’clock this morning worked for me. Went and fed the stock and then had a good fry-up washed down with apple-juice….well, Frosty Jack cider to be exact….It’s important to get your 5 a day,you know.

  5. I may be a miserable old twat but I have no sympathy for people who gamble themselves into a bad situation, any more than people who do the same with drink or drugs. The proverb ‘a fool and his money are soon parted’ is centuries old. Everyone has a choice.

    • Fucking right, Allen.
      I do all my betting on-line mainly because I live miles from a bookies. I enjoy my racing and betting,and don’t see why I should suffer just because a few inadequates can’t control themselves. That type would just find another way of screwing their lives up if it wasn’t betting.

      Fuck them.

  6. If I accidentally see that fucking bingo ad where everyone is jolly japing bingoing at some fucking barn dance, hey, come and join your friends at the party, I’ll blow. Goebbels is wanking in his grave with this brainwashing shite. I’m an each to their own, but not this, I’d ban it overnight.

  7. The most annoying bingo cunts are sky bingo with the yelling mincer….
    Fucking winds me right up!
    Normally I’ve got nothing against gays but mincing over the top gays yelling like twats really make my piss boil!

  8. Admin, either you are still pissed or I am. Didn’t this appear a few days ago?

  9. Anyone who gambles using computers or CPU controlled machines is a fucking retard who deserves to lose every penny. You think the companies operating these would actually use a real random number generator, and leave it to chance? Get real.

    Unless it’s truely mechanically random or dealt by hand (not including your mate Dave), then its a scam.

  10. Is it legal to fix the spin of an online roulette wheel? Doesn’t it have to be random by law or am I very naive?

  11. Online gambling… I know naffink abaaaht it. Been an interesting festive season, we as a family decided to get with modern times so we got the whiteys in the family to spend the whole time apologising to the blackies for everything. Being a blackie and a whitey I told them all to fuck off.

  12. Me Nan used to go to the Mecca Bingo (is that Islamatranshomophobic these days?) and it always used to tickle me when she’d come in and say classics like:

    “Eeee, I played well tonight!”

    “I waited on 4 numbers for the national!”

    “I twice sweated on 33 for £200. Always unlucky for me that number!”

    Mind you that was in the day when it was a proper sport with marker pens where you had to circle your numbers by hand – none of this “dabber” bollocks, lazy cunts!

    Online bingo takes it one step further with an “auto-fill” option, I shit you not. So the cunts are basically presented with a grid of numbers which periodically get marked by a robot should a matching number appear!?!

    Anyone who does online gambling like slots and bingo are dumb cunts too easily parted from their dole/benefits cheque. It’s all a fucking fiddle!

    At least if you bet on the outcome of a live sporting event (whether racing, football or boxing, etc.), then at least the outcome (well you hope) is not predetermined by the bookies.

    I wouldn’t trust online slots/bingo bookies as far as I could throw that Sun Bingo cunt!

    • P.G.Wodehouse- “He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control”

  13. I was once on an Etihad flight. Bored with the in-flight entertainment I let it go to default. Which was readings from the Koran interspersed with Arabian music. I listened for a few minutes. The verse so dark, but disturbingly hypnotic. The music building to a crescendo of hysteria. I suddenly scared and ripped the earphones out. They said the man last night was ‘mentally ill’.

      • I’ve just had a good look… surprisingly enough barely a hair in sight! Is that a good or a bad thing in your mysterious universe Miles?

      • I believe secular zealots have got us into this mess we’re in Rebel. The yolking together of different peoples comes from around the world. That didn’t come from any religion.

      • I am a bit mental. I believe it is the secular zealots who are the biggest problem.

      • Unfortunately I am a scientist and I can prove my shit.

        Whereas religious cunts can prove…

        Answers on a postcard to:

        FUCK ALL


        In fairness Miles I was raised CofE (in the hatched, matched and dispatched sense) and I actually believe Jesus existed.

        It’s the son of God bit which will see me burn in hell, if that exists.

        Jesus was the unionist/Scargill of his time and lost out to the oppression of the Roman Empire.

        Us wickle UK fuckers find ourselves similarly oppressed by an EU Empire and yet cunts like Welby and the Pontiff think we’re wrong to be free of the fuckers. Oh the two-faced irony of the cunts.

        I reckon, given my own personal feelings/sensitivities, that I’m probably more in line with our Old Testament Allies: be kind, be respectful, don’t take any shit, and yes hold a fucking grudge!

        I’m not unfeeling or insensitive to those who are practitioners of a religion – well, when they don’t mean to blow us the fuck up that is – I just think that there are far better things to be doing with our time than deifying something that cannot be proved.

        I’ve also never understood the need for so much infrastructure with regards to religions? You can pray to your God anywhere and – conversely – should the omnipotent cunt decide to pop in, they can do that anywhere as well.

        So to me, organised religion just sounds like a money making exercise taken from those looking for a better seat in the non-existent house in the sky.

      • Not to mention the 26 seats they have GUARANTEED in the House of Lords (Cunts).

    • Not sure about your implication, there, MP. The Salafist /Wahabi shits responsible for ISIS and AQ aren’t allowed music or pictures.

      Caught a fragment of a Lebanese singer, Fairuz, singing a Christmas carol in Arabic over Christmas…bloody hell. The West hasn’t anything to match her. Stark beautiful. But recorded some time ago, she’s 83 now.

      • Agree with you about the women Komodo. Absolutely beautiful.

        Whirling music it was. Towards the end of Ravel’s Bolero when it starts to go slightly haywire. That reminds of it. Unsettling experience.

  14. Online gambling is (quelle surprise….who knew?) predominantly a losers game.

    I will admit to dabbling in it myself, but then again, I am a silly cunt. I have occasionally played those Lottery instant game things and I have won more than once, but never more than £20 at one time, and let me tell you that you have to virtually fucking pull teeth to be fortunate enough to achieve that.

    They have an incredibly insidious,sneaky, mercenary bastard way of manipulating poor, desperate-for-money sods into playing. It starts with you losing a game, then they let you win something small, so encouraged by that, you play again and again and again, and so it goes. They rely on you getting trapped in that ‘playing again cycle’ while you convince yourself that if you won once, you can sure as hell do it again, but it is really just pure rip off.

    Now yes, I AM a idiot cunt for playing, but one thing I never do is get sucked into that cycle. I know what the fuckers are doing and I won’t give the greedy cunts the satisfaction. I actually won £20 on Xmas Eve (I was half pissed and fancied a wee flutter, so I put on a tenner) I played 2 word games, but as soon as I had won on the second, it (and the remaining balance) was debited to my bank and I was off like a minted rat up a gold plated drainpipe. Fuck losing THAT straight after I have won it.

    Gambling is either a trap you wholeheartedly get sucked into, or one where you are able to have the mental resolve to just say ‘I will quit while I’m ahead’. I can totally get why people DO get dragged in, especially when they really need the money. Ok, some may say that if they needed money that badly, they wouldn’t gamble it away, but when they think that cash could be just at the end of a PC or mobile button, people do stupid things when hard up.

    The only place that Bingo should be played are those cimmunity halls and suchlike where granny wombles congregate of a Friday night and flick two fingers up at ‘that old cow Beryl who bloody won last week’…..not that I have ANY personal experience of such places….perish the thought (ahem)

    Other than that, it is cuntery.

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