Slow people

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Those who think in slow motion.
Those who move in slow motion.
Those who can’t help it.
Those who are shamelessly fucking aimless and lazy.

Whether it’s a small child that just won’t get out of your way, or an elderly lady who’s wasting time trying to open that heavy door.
Whether it’s sunday drivers, waiters, bartenders, cunts counting change, cunts scrounging change, dribbling fucks stabbing the cash machine keypad with one grubby finger that spends the rest of it’s life in their arse, those lucky daydreamers who don’t seem to know how contactless payment works, pedestrians crossing the road, pedestrians walking within my ten metre radius, people moving their car – “I’ll just be two minutes..” WILL YOU FUCK.

All these people are stealing my air, driving on my road, using my stuff, wasting my time.
They are also stinking fucking thieves as they are stealing the precious seconds of my life. Time I will never get back.

Consider this cunting a major thank you for the extra statistical ten years you have stolen by putting undue pressure on my cardio vascular system. Fucking cunts!!!

The biggest shame of it all is the progress our species may have made if only we weren’t busy dribbling and licking windows.
This species is fucked.

Sorry, that’s
F………u……..c………..k………..e………….d……

Nominated by Cuntflap

31 thoughts on “Slow people”

  1. You know who’s slow?! Theresa May and shes a very stupid woman indeed sorry for bringing the twats name up but after reading this cunting from cuntflap I couldn’t think of anyone else

    • Too fucking right. Two and a half years and no nearer leaving than the day I voted.
      What’s the fucking hold up bitch? If you can’t do it get out of the way you fucking old fishwife.

  2. You must live in London, Cuntflap. Now I’m resident in the Highlands, a slower pace is welcome….to some extent. The standard of driving drives me nuts though – dithering at roundabouts and junctions in an area with little traffic. Driving at 45mph on roads where the ability to drive fast is a joy – few cars and fewer polis. The answer? Scottish, of course – throw tax payers money at it by building dual carriage ways on which the natives will still drive at 45 mph.

    Another pet hate is petrol pump ditherers. We all know the sort – seat belt on, check cuntphone, check hair, put wallet away. That’s after they’ve filled and done a week’s shopping in your typical cunty filling station.

  3. Hahaha nice. Of the many types of slow cunts, I suppose the road and supermarket types are the worst.

    So many utterances have been elicited by these wankers, such as the ever popular “for fucks sake”, the situational “yes just have a meeting in the middke of the aisle you agnorant fuckwitted shitstains”, and the ever-present “why not just get out and walk moron?”. Oh and there’s “how long can it take to turn a fucking corner dimwit”.

    Great cunting! And merry christmas you cunts!!

    • Supermarket ditherers particularly get on my tits, in that they make what I consider an unpleasant experience even worse. Saying ” the bus doesn’t stop here” or if they’re ancient “you don’t need a ration book anymore” usually gets them moving along and as a cunt I enjoy the flustered indignant looks I receive.

  4. cunts at the post office, wanting about 10 different parcels and letters individually weighed and stamped; and then wanting one of their utility cards topped up, but spend an eternity trying to find the one they want out of their millions of other cards they have stuffed in their wallet/purse – and inevitably they will drop one on the floor, along with all their loose change. So after another 10 minutes of faffing about, the same person starts having a chat with the cunt behind the counter – all about some cunt’s cat or getting ready for Christmas…..

    … mean while the queue has extended all the way out of the shop and down the fucking road, most of whom are uttering naughty words under their breath or tooling up to kill the cunt holding everyone up!

    Even writing this has taken my precious time for you ungrateful cunts to read. So hurry up and fuck off!

    Oh and merry fucking christmas, cunts!

  5. Quite right,Cuntflap.

    I’ve got into bother a few times due to these sloth-like creatures. Fucking old Cunts wanting lottery tickets checked on a Saturday morning while paying their paper bill in coins is my current preoccupation.As I’ve pointed out to several of them,they’ve got all fucking week why do it on a Saturday morning,plus,they’d probably just use the money buying catfood for a cat they don,t even have if they did win.
    However,one of my more spectacular melt-downs occurred in the local bank (when there were still local branches) when,after paying in bags of coins,the teller and the Cunt paying in decided to discuss their recent holidays. I stewed for a while as I heard their views on Mary’s “Delhi-Belly” for a while,but before I could stop myself,I went nuclear. “For Fucks Sake,fuck off,you Cunt,out of the way” and “Do you Cunting job,you gossipy old bag. I’ve had fucking plenty. I’ll ram those bags of coins up yer arse in a minute if you fucking din’t hurry up” etc…..all delivered at foghorn volume by a puce-faced,apoplectic,spitting old Cunt. I wouldn’t have cared but I wasn’t actually in any great rush,it just erupted out of me.
    Anyhow,the customer fled and the teller pulled down her screen and refused to serve me. I stormed out after delivering a few more bon-mots involving “Cunts and fucking Wankers.” Later that day I received a phone call from the area-manager telling me that they were closing my accounts and to make arrangements. I didn’t apologise. Told the Cunt that suited me just fine,and I’d always considered him a priggish little Wanker anyhow. He put the phone down on me.
    So ended my business dealings with Lloyds bank.

    Fuck them.

    • And then did you return and sling loads of cow shit onto the front of the bank as a dirty protest?
      I reckon you did. And here’s footage of you committing the deed. Fuck me, even the accent is right! Er, I assume…no offence intended, my dear Mr Fiddler, if this fellow’s accent isn’t Northumberland!
      https://youtu.be/bBSfs70OoO8

      • The accent’s about right,Mr. Cunt-Flap,but I’d have got the right place. Although,give him his dues,he went back a few weeks later and got the correct place.

        Wouldn’t you just love to do that at the local sex shop that sold you that faulty “Big Black Momma” blow-up doll?

      • Inspired Mr Fiddler, at Lloyds HQ they probably initiated a special future training protocol following your outburst.

  7. Women who spend ten fucking minutes in a queue, THEN decide to spend another ten minutes rummaging in their fucking bag for that 5p-off voucher. DO IT AT HOME OR IN THE QUEUE CUNT.
    Drivers who pull up to a roundabout. Stop. Handbrake. Look right. Nothing coming. Look right again. Nothing coming (me having a fucking coronary behind them). Look in mirror at me shouting “GET ON WITH IT YOU CUNT” whilst leaning on horn (wife with head in hands). Look right. Still fuck all coming. Handbrake. Stall fucking car. Handbrake. Neautral. Start car. Look right. Nothing coming. Handbrake. Look right. Car coming. Handbrake.
    AAAAGGGHHH CUNTS

    • Fucking too right Cuntzilla, you share my pet hates.

      And why is it that the old cunts go round mini roundabouts at 1 mph wrestling the steering like it’s from a 1940’s Lorry?

      And fucking bitches who pack their shopping then appear shocked that they have to pay, then panic like a boon on a rape
      Charge as they attempt to find their purse which inevitable is a a big as their handbag.

      And then there’s those fat cunts in supermarkets who lean in to their trolleys and move at 1 mph

      Fuck the lot of ‘em

      • When pushing past a LardArse,it’s always best to make some remark about there being a 2 for the price of one sale at the cake counter….basically you can say what you want because by the time that their fat-addled brains have worked it out,their jowls have stopped twitching and they put that hurt look on,you;re 3 aisles away…wouldn’t matter anyhow,there’s no fear of the fat Cunts breaking into a sweat by responding to your helpful advice on their dietary requirements.
        Fucking Weebles. https://youtu.be/WKcAWO_IznI

    • Oh cuntzilla you’re made me chuckle,
      I used to work in east London and came home up Leytonstone high road which at the top had a roundabout which was about as dangerous as playing Russian roulette!! Absolutely no cunt would ever let you out so you had to be brave and pick your moment, how many arguments, fist shaking, horn tooting and swearing out of the window events I had there was unimaginable!! One winters night I was stuck behind some pathetic cunt who appeared to be waiting for written confirmation to pull out? Not only was i honking my fucking horn 2/3/4 cars behind me had joined in, numerous chances to go came and went, but the chicken shit cunt remained stationary!
      Eventually due to the cacophony of sound he shot foward and hit a now stationary car ! , of course everybody behind him did the correct thing by sliding past on his inside 😂

  8. The cunts in queues who literally power down their flabby grey matter while they wait, usually ladies, then get surprised at their lack of preparedness when they reach the till. The fuck are you playing at!

    • My pet hate TBCC
      Waiting until the cashier asks for payment then the hunt for the purse starts!
      What the actual fuck!! When asked for payment they appear like a fucking rabbit in the headlights! An unexpected bill? Didn’t see it coming? Acting like one of those quick quid gormless cunts on TV…..

      OP ….
      Yet again corbyn makes a complete twat of himself by choosing the wrong words in parliament!!
      You can’t call Mavis a “ stupid woman “ and expect to get away with it, maybe corbyn should have grown a pair and called her a “ stupid deceitful cunt” I’m sure he would have gained greater approval…..

  9. Fat Cunts shouldn’t be allowed those cripple-chariots,if they had to walk to buy their sausage-rolls and cream-cakes it might get some of the lard off them…however,they shouldn’t be allowed to shop during the hours when normal people are there.The sight,smell and sheer repulsiveness puts me off my own food shopping.

    https://goo.gl/images/McoKPS

    • When I visited the States years ago I popped into one of those Walmart superstores out in New Jersey.

      Jesus fucking christ, that place was full of the fattest of fat cunts imaginable; along with all the rednecks, chav-scum, fucktards and various other failed biological experiments passing off as “human beings”

      Most of the fat cunts were riding mobility scooters – probably reinforced with the kind of shock absorbers you find on Monster Trucks. And the worst thing about it was waiting in the queue behind these fucksticks – not only could they hardly speak English, but had no idea what “getting ready to pay” meant. Instead they just sit there sweating in their batmobiles, picking their noses and then scooting around their handbags trying to find their purses when the checkout girl says “That’ll be $39.99!”

      And I’m sure these cunts fart for America. Couldn’t hear because of all the racket from the rest of the zoo freaks, but the smell was strong enough to rip paint from a battleship

      Never ever venture into a Walmart, unless you really fancy topping yourself

      • NoCunt, I am crying with laughter here reading your post. It is all so fucking true.

        I first went to the States when I was 9 years old and I STILL recall the sheer number of chubsters there. There was literally an entire family of fat fucks waddling around Disneyland – Mum, Dad, son, daughter and a sumo baby being pushed in a buggy. I still remember being totally gobsmacked at the sight……and traumatised.

        Brilliant, funny post. Hats off to you, Sir.

      • I went when I was 14 to Florida and my dad who has always been fat was like a bit dropped off some of them. A large pizza was the size of a car tyre that the four of us couldn’t finish yet the average ‘Merica’ All Star could polish off without thinking twice.

      • The liberal, middle-class parent who’s bending over their sprog, holding it’s hands, with the it’s feet on their feet (or something equally retarded), in the middle of the pavement, not looking forward, not having any consideration for anyone behind them, making fucking stupid noises. Fuck off.

        Two mummies pushing buggy’s side by side on a narrow pavement, going slow as fuck, babbling bollocks all the while – ever heard of single file? Whores.

        Large Asian (the yellow ones) tourist groups in central London, with cameras. Devoid of common sense and social awareness.

        Wadding, fat, dumpy, unattractive sand women in 365 days a year halloween costumes.

  10. I am so in agreement with this cunting. Slow arses do my nut in. I was born, raised and unfortunately still live in this mammoth shithole called LONDONISTAN.

    I don’t do slow. EVER. Never have, never will.

    When I walk anywhere, it is in the shortest and fastest way possible, and the dozy fucktards you encounter when out shopping are ever increasing. The ones that get my tits in a right knot are the cunts staring into mobile phones. They have no awareness of people behind them or trying to get around them. Even a snail is Lewis Hamilton compared to those retarded cunts.

    Bank and shop queues – when I reach the desks, I am there and gone within a couple of minutes. I don’t fucking dawdle or fanny about doing my shit or paying. In a bank, I am ALWAYS stuck behind some annoying, fucktard Scrooge who has thirty bank books and is moving money between them, asking about investment options or just contemplating their own asshole. In a shop I am stuck waiting for some dozy cunt who hasn’t got their purse out of their handbag or are taking back a Mount Everest of clothes for return….or even worse, the fucktards who stand and have a full blown fucking conversation about the weather with the cunt serving them, while the queue is out of the fucking door.

    ABSOLUTELY CLUELESS CUNTS.

  11. The Cunt that’s in front of you at a cash machine who won’t just tap in their PIN and take the money. They have to put their fuckin card in about 8 times and endlessly check receipts . Just take your money cunt and fuck off.

  12. And Petrol station CUNTS. Almost always women.

    Get in car having taken the long route to pay I.e. via the cashier instead of the pump, then seem to fuck about for an eternity, they eventually put on seat belt and you see them look in the mirror ‘brilliant they’re going’ you think but no she’s doing her fucking hair.

    Then you see the brake lights come on ‘brilliant they’re going’ you think but no she’s not going yet

    You bang the horn and the bitch looks back at you with scorn, gesticulating with her hands like you’ve just come round on Xmas day and pissed on her Xmas tree.

    Jut get the fuck out of my way.

    • How about the cunts that go to a pump that accepts card payments, fill up, go into the shop, buy nothing else and PAY BY FUCKING CARD.

  13. Bane of my ass being stuck behind one of these cunts on the way home from work they really piss me off big time . Fucking spastiks the lot of them.

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