Beat the Internet with John Robins

Beat the internet with John Robins

This is a cunt of a show, isn’t it.
What a load of pointless wank, presented by some nomark without any kind of redeeming qualities. His contrived “zaniness” is as entertaining as a wet fart. I feel sorry for his family, who must cringe when he’s on the telly. The contestants have been recruited from some home for spasmos and told to “mong it up”.
I would, however, watch “Beat John Robins with a fucking big iron bar”.
What a cunt of a cunt !

Nominated by Jimmy the spaz

12 thoughts on “Beat the Internet with John Robins

  1. Never seen it, but as long as that highly suspect Cunt, Richard Osman isn’t on it,I don’t mind. Osman has the look of a frequent visitor to the specialist houses in Pattaya.

    Fuck Off.

    • Speaking of ‘ specialisms ‘ Dick. Did you get some ‘quality footage ‘ yesterday ?
      Good afternoon.

      • Oh yes Jack….Already uploaded it to my website…”Posh Pussies Pissing .com”…I expect that the subscriptions will soar.
        Limited availability at only £59.99 if anyone fancies joining. Rough Tough Creampuff has already given the site 4 stars in his review section of “specialist websites”.

      • I take it Mr . Cunt Engine is already a life member ?
        It’s good to see farmers diversifying.

  2. Never heard of him or it.

    Is it a QVC type of affair?

    That “5 Million Limited Edition” stuff always goes well because they always seem to be down to the last dozen or so.

    I felt gutted when they were down to the last 3 but lo-and-behold they managed to find another 8!

    Miracles never cease at Yuletide!

  3. Excellent and most entertaining nomination.

    Never watched it and due to the description here never likely to.

    Can honestly say that I found the TV programmes available for viewers to watch on Xmas Day and Boxing Day this year to be complee bollocks and a fucking disgrace. Michael Mcintire FFS.

    Regarding the shopping channels my son and I stumbled on a jewellery channel called something like Absolute Luxury where a pathetic overweight Indian Del Boy type wide boy was describing in an unbelievable style and thick Indian accent the fantastic individual pieces on show, all at a reduced price at only £4.99. Real high quality stuff made out of precious stones and metals we had never heard of. How we both laughed.

    Useless fucking cunt.

    • Yes it was woeful wasn’t it.

      Beat the Midwife.

      Mrs Brown’s skids.


      I ended up watching re-runs of Morcombe and Ball.

      I was hoping Cannon and Large would be on but I think Deputy Dawg impressions are now considered waycist, or transphobic – I forget which.

      I didn’t get the “Top Gear” special though, it just looked like CCTV of stabby types handing out the odd ‘enry of toot or a couple of ‘E’s – or was that Crime Watch? I forget.

      Even the Freeview channels were shitter than usual: Gran in the Attic, Come Whine with Me and repeats of Quarter to One from when William G (does that stand for “Git”) Stewart used to present it.

      I much preferred the days of when Xmas viewing consisted entirely of Zulu, Goldfinger, Where Eagles Dare and Trading Places (in that order) was the norm.

      Now it’s transbender CGI rabbits making snowflakes faint and idiotic soaps trying to out-cunt each other on their ridiculous storylines.

      Hollyside tickled me when the bloke who got off with the local Raspberry thought he was banging her but it was just her chair’s battery port!

      Never-enders similarly infuriating in its unreality as all the single parent bints all have fucking jobs!

      How I managed to get by with just Sky, Amazon Prime and Netflix I’ll never know…

  4. Never seen the consignment of dogshit, but “Beat the Meat with John Throbbings” would be vastly more entertaining if it existed.

  5. This show is an absolute load of old cunt and well worth a nom.
    I saw it recently and it’s the most low budget, not-funny-no-matter-how-hard-it-desperately-tries load of shite.
    And the best thing about it?
    The prize!
    Wait for it ….. *drum roll*

    A fucking usb stick.

    What a waste of time.

  6. Driver was too drunk to stand after driving wrong way on A14, court.

    A motorist who drove at an estimated 80mph the wrong way along the A14 with two flat tyres was so drunk he couldn’t even stand up, a court heard

    Remigijus Katinas, 46, of Mingay Road, Thetford, was said to have “not only put his own life at risk but the lives of others” when a professional driver spotted him driving at an estimated 80mph in the wrong direction.

    The motorist had to brake harshly and move over to the side of the road to prevent a collision when he realised the car was on the wrong side of the road.

    Police had to use tactical contact and nudge the Volvo S40, which was being driven by Katinas at around 12.22am on Boxing Day, to make it stop as it headed west on the eastbound carriageway near Haughley.

    When officers opened the driver side door Katinas, who was behind the wheel, could not support himself.

    After Katinas was arrested, officers saw that his car had two tyres that were deflated and torn, as well as damage to the side of car running all the way along the side.

    He was then taken back to a police station, where he refused to give a sample to be tested for alcohol.

    Officers described him as being very unstable on his feet at this point and his breath smelled strongly of alcohol.

    Katinas has now pleaded guilty at Suffolk Magistrates’ Court in Ipswich to dangerous driving and failing to provide a specimen.

    The magistrates adjourned the case for sentencing at crown court, where a judge will have more powers for a harsher sentence.

    Prosecutor Wayne Ablett said: “Katinas not only put his own life at risk but the lives of others. Fortunately there was very little traffic on the roads and so a collision was avoided.”

    Katinas has been bailed on the condition that he resides at his home address before a hearing at crown court, which has not yet been set.

    He has also been temporarily disqualified from driving until his hearing. A driving disqualification is compulsory for his charges when he is sentenced.

    Katinas spoke through a interpreter at court, with magistrates hearing he is in full-time employment.

    Clearly there must be some mistake here, the accused must surely be a wrongly accused local person highly respected professional person probably working as a doctor or such like in the NHS and not yet another fucking pissed Eastern European worthless piece of shit who cannot respect our laws and hospitality and simply shouldn’t be here.

    By the way the cunts nationality has not been revealed as bizarrely this may be classed as some form of hate crime. He comes from Lithuania.
    Also, comments on the news article and those similar to this are usually disabled as they only feature racist comments from ignorant far right extremists such as myself who make up only about 60% of local people who are fucked off with what is happening in the area.

    Our local Labour faggot MP (who scraped in by around 800 votes) was more than happy to accept his democratic victory but does not respect the result of the 52/48 EU referendum, nor the 58/42 local election result. Useless cunt.

    The governent and the EU would have gullible ignorant fuckers believe that having to put up with this sort of imported scum and millions of others like him is a price worth paying in order to fill top the jobs required by the NHS.

    I like most independent thinkers simply don’t buy it, never have done. The EU’s master plan was always doomed to failure and our complicit government continues to be negligent in protecting the interests of its own citizens.

    Time for change.

  7. Have to say I’ve never heard of this pile of cunt but when I saw the Posting I thought it was referring to my passtime of ‘beating the meat’ on the internet.

    Thankfully I’ve not been found out.

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