Calendar Girls

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A swift cunting for all these sagging meatsacks of the female variety who get starkers on calendars, for various charidees. Or sometimes just for workplace social progressivism.

Now some of the causes may be worthy perhaps, but this seems to me a cheap double standard in my eyes, eyes which have been assaulted by funbags hanging below the navel and bingo wings suffering from a case of flesh rot. Why is this gross violation tolerated, but tight and able bodied women can’t work clothed to promote F1? Money is exchanged in both instances afterall.

Maybe I’m seeing this all wrong and I’m the cunt here. I just don’t want to see giggly-jiggly grandmas on display to be frank.

Nominated by The Big Chunky Cunty

38 thoughts on “Calendar Girls”

  1. Absolutely fucking right….
    The world has gone fucking mad.

    The F1 girls were doing nothing wrong….. a bit of glamour to show off the high tech machines.

    Fat saggy middle aged calender girls showing off fat saggy middle aged bodies CUNTS (saggy itchy cunts)

  2. I would love to see a Muslim calendar girls edition.
    They could all wear a mini burkha so one did not have to look at their ugly faces, but presenting a decent hairy growler winking at you would be a tease for Allah

    • Some of em on xhamster have got a muff like a jihadi’s beard…
      very nice if you’re like me and into a nice ladygarden.

    • As a special treat for all the political fuckers who have screwed up Brexit, how about a nude calendar for those arsewipes?. The withered tits of Anna Soubry, the bow legs and skinny arse of Yvette Cooper, looking like a poster for famine relief, the minge of lessie Justine Greening, with her dildo, and talking of the bent ones, the gaping arsehole of Peter Mandelson, Lord Adonis impaled on his butt plug and Anthony Blair taking it up the arse from Lady Starmer

    • Good heavens Ron! It seems to me that you should investigate ‘Lesbian Alex” or “Old & Young Lesbians”. Many dozens of clips with birds in their 50’s, 40’s, 30’s and 20’s, all lezzing up together. It’s fucking marvellous, let me tell you!

  4. BLOOOAAARGH!

    Cheers Chunky… not sure I’m gonna be able to eat my dinner tonight…

    • This calendar could be Dick Fiddlers secret Santa present. I’m sure he would appreciate a Gemma Arterton one in her birthday suit more but its these times of austerity we’re living in, bingo wings and stretch marks it is.

      • I actually send Gemma a calendar every year. I produce it myself. It features selfies of me in various “artistic” poses….I bet the dirty little minx is frothing at the gash as the end of every month gets nearer,and she realises that it’s nearly time to reveal another Big Reveal….in return she sends me a court-order forbidding me from going within 200 yards of her or her home…probably afraid that she wouldn’t be able to control herself if she actually saw me in the flesh,rather than just in the raw.

        Fuck her.

      • Evening Mr Fiddler, this might lead to a #ivbeenfiddled celebrity movement. Who knows who will crawl out of the woodwork will some vile slurs?

      • My Cuntishness was actually evident from an early age. At school there was,apparently, a group who went under the name of the “We Hate “Dick Fiddler” gang ….no idea what they did…probably sat and stuck pins in a doll made to look like me..they were the type who probably enjoyed dressing up little dolls.

        Yep, I started out as a Cunt and the years certainly haven’t lessened my ability to offend. Thank Fuck.

    • Evening RTC.

      Just think of some nice matured roast beef, with a bit of sneaky gravy. Yum!

  6. I’m a pro snapper. Was at a dinner party when the host showed me her portfolio. Not exactly pro, but I said they were very nice.
    She said “I’ve seen your work, it’s fantastic, you must have a great camera.”

    As we left I thanked her for a lovely evening and said “That was a fantastic meal, you must have some great pots and pans.”

  7. I enjoy giving out calendars at Christmas. As I hand it over I remind them that every day that they cross off is another day nearer to “the cold,hard,lonely grave.”…that normally wipes the festive smile off their faces.

    Fuck Off.

    • That’s a pretty harsh thing to say to your 6 year old niece on Christmas morning Mr F, you callous swine.

      • I could never say that to my niece, Mr. Cunt-Engine…. mainly because I actually don’t speak to any of my relatives and wouldn’t give the grabby Cunts the skin off my shite,never mind a calendar.

        Bunch of sponging Cunts.

      • Oo-er…it’s not often I’d feel sorry for an Um Bongo, but…that poor darkie cunt.
        That said, I wouldn’t mind seeing a suicidal 50-stone naked behemoth leaping off the roof of a mosque directly above the peacefuls as they’re leaving following evening prayers, kind of like this fat fuck:
        https://goo.gl/images/CJNkhe

  8. Mr Macron is currently salivating as he peruses the above photograph during one of his many visits to this site.

  9. And there’s never any Milfs or fit’ uns in Calendar Girls… So they can fuck off…

    Just got back from the library that is OT after watching that sack of shite… From Busy Babes, The Holy Trinity, Doc’s Red Army, Captain Marvel, King Cantona, the Treble, and Ruud to becoming Dave Bassett’s Wimbledon for the modern era… I fucking loathe you Mourinho, you cunt… I also despise your overpaid and gutless squad of wankers…. Just fuck off and take those cunts with you… MUFC is dead….

  10. Spot on piece of cunting ! Seems like YOU’RE allowed to perv so long as you’re prepared to pay for it in the name of charideee! Fuckin double standard horse shit!

  11. Have you ever come across any of these more ‘mature’ladies on a night out? Not much sign of the #Me Too type shit going on i’d say when they’re grabbing at your bollox is there.

  12. Just imagine a charidee House of Commons attempt at Calendar Girls. Some (not so) mouth watering contenders could be:

    1. The lovely Diane Abbott. Showing of her plumptious darkness with just a whole roast chicken to conceal her gaping axe wound and a grinning Catweasel to cover her heaving mammaries.

    2. The Sassy Hunchback, completely stark bollocks naked apart from her trademark kitten heels (tiger print), bravely showing her strong and stable labia drooping a foot beneath her axe wound like a pound of cheap, wafer thin pork shoulder ham.

    3. Angela Eagle. Sporting a daring Page Boy hairstyle whilst struggling to conceal her joy at experiencing the feel of the Greek Lesbo Love Eggs in the front lobby and a pink, knobbly 18″ dildo shoved up the old Khyber pass.

    It would fly off the shelves this Christmas.

  13. Off topic but this is news I didn’t want to hear before bed.
    https://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/17258563.controversial-special-school-proposal-approved-despite-protest/?ref=fbshr&fbclid=IwAR3ErEp-90jrLtzi90ooThIZg2dGnsR247Vvb9_T28HgVIa7XhD7hADqLIg
    If there’s one upside to this it’s that it will happen in the year when my brother leaves (assuming he finishes at 18 anyway – sometimes pupils at these kinds of schools continue until they’re 25) so he hopefully won’t be affected but that means absolutely fucking NOTHING to the younger kids and their families who this will impact severely. It’s a complete and utter farce and at this point I would be quite happy to see the people of Wiltshire take back their county from the evil Jane Scott by any fucking means necessary. I feel another cunting for Wiltshire Cuntcil is in order after I’ve had some sleep. 😡😡😡😡😡
    PS: For those wondering what I’m doing up at this hour – closing shift at work.

    • How many adverts can they put on one webpage on the wiltshiretimes.co.uk? It looks as if Mark Zuckerberg built in in his lunch time. Probably just fake news.

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