Say bye bye to the Fat Controller and a great big culturally enriched hello to the average build, gender neutral, ethnic minority peaceful economic migrant controller…
Yes, you heard it right. The politically correct 21st century has finally inveigled (look it up the thick cunts) the last bastion of childhood, Thomas the Tank Engine. I shit you not! Thomas is going out into the world in an attempt to get our children to embrace the wonders of ethnic diversity. Never mind Sodor! Look out world – because Thomas is coming…
New multi-cultural characters in the show include Ashima from India; Yong Bao from China; and Shane from Australia. It’s not yet known how the rail-bound little train will manage to cross oceans, but fantasy elements and dream sequences seems to offer up a likely solution.
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget sexual equality. Not content with just a female controller, longtime favourites Percy, Gordon, James and Emily will be joined by new characters Nia and Rebecca to balance the gender divide. The gender divide FFS! They’re fucking fictional toy trains!
Author the Rev Awdry’s granddaughter, Claire Chambers, welcomed the changes to the franchise, saying she thinks her grandfather would be “very happy” with them. Not as happy as her perhaps as the new characters represent wonderful merchandising opportunities for expanding your little darlings collection of lovable characters just in time for Christmas.
Apparently, each episode will end with a “life lesson” from Thomas. Like how to make shed loads of money by exploiting pester power perhaps?
Ringo won’t be doing the narrative for the new series. Wise man! Leave the cunts to fuck it up all on their own.
Meanwhile here’s a preview of some episodes of the new show…
Nominated by Dioclese
Thats Thomas the tank engine gone down the shitter then.
So where is the peaceful train in full on burka mode, you know all featureless black and a little slot for the eyes chuffing along 10 feet behind goatshagger train with a big beard and mad eyes?
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Life lesson? Why don’t they just come clean and call it propaganda?
“And so Thomas and his multi ethnic friends put the evil white males in their place and the fat cunt controllers in Londonistan lived happily ever after”
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So is the Fat Controller persona non grata because snowflakes feel that it is fat shaming??
Listen fat bastards, avoid hearing about it as much as you want, you’ll still be fat and I’ll still point and laugh at you in the street .
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Never mind fellow cunters, there is always dear old Postman Pat to see you through those forthcoming cold winter evenings. Check this out if you have not already seen one of the finest parodies ever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f4uA_vZOO4
Plenty more on You Tube as well.
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Brilliant !
Much more realistic…
Thomas the Wank Engine and the Wanking Policeman is worth a watch.
Andy Pandy, Teddy Bear and Looby Loo are surely up for some sort of makeover.
Personally, I wouldn’t let AP anywhere near an impressionable child, he looks more like AB to me; he’s a deviant, in any case, so defo BLTPDQ. The bear is bound to be a cousin of Paddington, and Looby Loo is some coke-addled tart (Lily the Mong). Ticks all the boxes, but as yet, no blamboes…
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Social Engineering at it’s most sinister…
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Its!
Fucking predictive text is a CUNT!
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Expect celebrity snowflake libfuck special guests: like Benderdict Cuntberbatch, Hairy Mulligan, Skanklett Johansscunt, and Gary Linekunt to add their voices to this…
If the makers can afford the greedy money grabbing mercenary cunts, that is…
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And will Adele Arbuckle or Lily Mong be doing the soundtrack?…
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A much more recent kids programme i’ve often had doubts about is Peppa Pig. George Pig is an utter, utter stupid fucking cunt who buggers up everything. Pippa is the sweet sensible one who listens and learns and makes friends with the other diverse animals. Daddy Pig is well meaning but not very bright. The star of the show is Mummy Pig who is the sensible adult who always has an answer for everything. Mummy is in charge and don’t you fucking forget it. All part of the gayification of our society.
Whatever happened to those “Commando” comics where you could see Krauts and Japs getting bayoneted and blown to fuck on every page? Take that Square Head!!!
They should bring those fuckers back.
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Commando comics were ace… and small enough to read behind the desk during lessons.
Update them to show Iran getting bravely appeased by Obummer.
Gott im Jannah!
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Let me get this right… Gender neutral trains?… Fucking trains that speak from a kiddies fairy story?!
But (to quote Bishop Brennan), this is nothing…. Nothing…. This will creep into and infest every part of popular culture… Doctor Who has already started as we know… Jiggy Jiggy Jodie aside, there’s The Ice Warrior ‘Queen’ who deferred to the Black Wonder Horse Lezza (another example) instead of The Doctor… I await the first gender neutral Dalek… I know it’s a one eyed blob in tin armour, but that won’t stop the diversity propaganda zealots…
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Thomas the Tank Engine ( or should I now say, Thomasina ) will inevitibly go the same way as that fucking other disaster, the “Noo Noddy ”
Noddy and his new multicultural chums of Toytown should have sent a clear message to the rabid bigots of the “meeja” who are determined to infect every childrens classic and overturn both culture and history.
The plan to return an updated “Famous Five” and “Swallows and Amazons” makes me want to puke!
Thomas was ( and still is ) a National treasure which will never survive the transition to Jamlish, Parking People , Urdu and all the other fuckwittery that will go with it. All that would be needed was a homosexual tank engine to offer it,s “saddle” for a robust stuffing up it’s coal shute to finish stupidity.!
Fuck these social engineers! Ban the bastards from the telly, and stop them fiddling with children’s minds. Cunts!
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Q. Why have elephants got big ears?
A. Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom.
I’ll get my coat
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Q: Why does an elephant have four feet?
A: Because six inches would look silly.
I’ll get my hat
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Will any of the trains be ‘blacked up’ for this fucking farce?
Perhaps one episode could see Ashraf, the imported diesel from Islamabad, consume halal-only fuel, before driving at full speed toward the train shed screaming “death to infidels”.
I’m now fully convinced that this kind of steaming shite is no longer about appeasing minorities, and instead, I am buying fully into ‘conspiracies’ of population replacement programmes and the like.
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It is a replacement. The elite don’t need smart minds going about setting up new political parties, they need sheep. They don’t want conscientious environmentalist’s and peiple worried about population numbers – that’s bad for business, they want numbers for their ponzi economy. They don’t want free thinkers, they want someone who believes anything and everything can be explained by a little book.
All of the above boxes are ticked by a generic peaceful. To paraphrase-
“The trouble with Scotland… is that it’s full of Scots! ……… If we can’t get them out, we breed them out. That should fetch just the kind of lords we want to Scotland, taxes or no taxes”.
The principal is no different here. 1 million of the right type of peacfuls = 10 million within 25 years. 100 million within 50. Job done.
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And talking of cultural enrichment, I read that the USA is cutting the $300million annual aid to Pakistan.
And quite fucking right, too. Will the UK follow suit? Of course not.
Fuck the Pakistani shithole. That country can fucking burn to the ground for all I care.
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If Thomas is going to Africa, I’d like him to track down our four billion pounds and bring it back.
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Oh fuck no!
There will be outcry saying poor folk will suffer and that WE – the UK – should grant them immediate refugee status to come here and fuck the country and economy up even more.
Well fuck that, we’ve enough Northwest Passage cunts here to repopulate over there if they need more numbers, the tax payer will happily foot the bill for those flights.
It not we can crowd fund £3mil, it might take a while to get that amount, about 20mins or so…
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Imran khan moaning other day cos Wilders was running a Mo cartoon comp. Some muslim fuckwit saying Holland should be nuked. Khan says dissing the muslamics should be illegal like holocaust denial. News for you Imran, the holocaust really did happen, your peadophile warlord really really didn’t fly to heaven on a winged fucking horse moron. God they fucking annoy me.
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Pity. I loved that show growing up. We used to have old video tapes of it in the house (my parents didn’t switch to a dvd player till the early 2000s)
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The show was doomed the minute Fat Controller was slimmed down, only just, and henceforth referred to as Sir Toppington Hat or something of that nature. To appease one of the groups of crackpots who seem to have a say in everything in this country.
This need to “multiculturalise” everything is farcical. I’ve asked before on a previous post, but where does it actually stop?
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Spot on, BK.
The endgame requirement is a population consisting of “useful idiots”, aka sheeple.
Globalis, EU, Fourth Reich politicos don’t give a toss what “ethnishitty” is involved.
WE all know which one it’s going to be…
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“It ain’t over til the fat lady sings”
Discuss !
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….and in next week’s episode, despite health and safety issues, new Indian character Ashima, defends her cultural rights to travel on the roof of the train….
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Yeah not to mention the daily suicide on the track by women who are sick to death of getting raped every day they go for a dump on the roadside in a country with nukes that is too fucking useless to sort out a basic sewerage system.
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Postperson Patricia and her black and white cat (check out the racial enrichment factor there), coming soon to a tv near you.
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I can’t believe that they kept the upright piano jingle as the theme tune.
Surely that’s waycist?
Maybe a bit of “Grime” with a catchy tome by Stormzy – extolling the virtues of knife crime and acid attacks – would be more in-keeping with the rest of Thomas’ “cultural enrichment”?
Good of them to chuck in a token white character in the form of an Aussie. Nice touch that.
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I sense your optimism about the Aussie character may soon be dashed.
It will probably be an abo, If not then one of our ‘Somalian Australians’; and if white, could only be some ditzy blonde park ranger girl ‘educating’ the kiddies about how fragile every fucking thing is.
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They could have an Aussie episode where forty Somalian trains are running amok and the Paki controller saying “there’s no problem here you bigoted racist”.
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Oh Bollocks, just as I was starting to really get into the enjoyment of schadenfreude.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-45392181
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They already tried multiculturalism back in the days of Ringo Starr naration.
Mo the Tank Engine wasn’t a bit hit…his beard kept getting caught in the front wheels and his boiler kept exploding.
Oh, and he (somehow) abused a bunch of kids too.
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I bet the fuzz kept it quiet tho…
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The fat Cuntroller was complicit…
Also, in the new Thomas the Tank Engine, the mayor is black. Bearing in mind that this is supposed to be set in the late 1950’s, that sounds believable…
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Brass 1 : “Ever been pulled in by the fuzz?”
Brass 2 : “No but I’ve been swung round by the tits!”
I’ll get my coat
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Slightly off topic. Looked on Tele last night it said Dambusters was on beeb 2 this aft. I thought fuck me one old git left at beeb giving nod to fact it’s anniversary of declaration of war. Usual shit, warning contains offensive racist language of its time yaddah yaddah. Old git obviously got overruled as it’s no longer on. Typical. Maybe I hallucinated.
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I have an idea for an old favourite:
Noggin the Wog
A story of a black Viking trans and it’s struggles with a reactionary white Saxon foe.
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By the way. Crossrail delayed and gone over by a billion or so. Never mind, it’s London after all so all rail upgrades for rest of the UK can be binned for the foreseeable future. Except HS2 of course. We cant have city types having to overnight in the provinces. Ghastly places.
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Anyone remember Play School..?
Anyone remember “Scouse” Play School..?
“Today children….we’ll be going through, the recently jemmied open window”….
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Glasgow Play School…
Right then san! Which fackin’ windae am ah puttin’ yae through, yeh cant!?!
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How’s about ‘Trumpton’
The story of an evil, bigoted, follicularly (probably not a word) challenged fireman and his attacks on poor Palestine and Pakistan by stopping paying them.
The cunt.
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Think we’ve got Worzel Gummidge covered, too. The tale of an evil, bigoted and rather hairy scarecrow and his scaring poor little Israel…
you can’t tell me that isn’t part of the multiculti narrative too…
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If they’re going multicult then I expect to see a battered old engine pull into the station in the first episode, with only his wobbly rotating eyes of disdain visible due to the 700 commuters hanging off every possible part of the exterior.
Followed by some disgruntled maniac who proceeds to grab the live overhead wires and become a glowing charcoal briquette.
Choo choo ya cunts!
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Maybe Ashima will bring some elements of train travel from her native India. Goats and chickens sharing the carriages, squat toilets, small unwashed children trying to flog commuters crap they don’t want or need and a new ‘rooftop’ class.
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Postman Pat’s a cunt, he looks like a ginger nonce to me. The top photo though looks like Indira Ghandi about to be assassinated on the platform.
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Well, some childrens’ stories are bang up to date: Black Beauty, fr’instance, in which a Black horse’s idyllic youth progresses to enslavement by whitey and ends in the knacker’s yard (all-white cast). No, but seriously, FUCK ME WHAT’S HAPPENED TO THIS FUCKING COUNTRY? (as if I didn’t know) Can’t do better than the above cunting, so will stfu.
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They’ve also got a Kenyan character in it now, I forget what her name is though. They interviewed the actress providing her voice on Al-BBC yesterday. I didn’t really listen to what she had to say, but if she needs somewhere sit, my face is available. She was well fit.
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to bring it up.to speed accordingly we need to have black on black engine crime, knives included, it needs a transitioning engine possibly from coal to electric and all the stigma that comes with it. it needs a feminazi undercurrent and of course a train shed that is a safe space. Then and only then will I watch it, naked.
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From “coalburner” to electric…
Maybe Hitachi Magic Wand and an extra large battery pack.
Luggage van behind the loco, and Chloe Ayling’s gurning face on the front end.
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Oh no, fucking hell… what next Bill and Ben the peaceful men ? Making and hiding explosives under flower pots before the Gardener gets back from his lunch while little weed is in full Burka ?
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I’ve always thought that Bill and Ben were on the other bus meself…
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As a child, I loved one particular story my gran used to read me: The Story of Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman. This was in the cold North East of early 60s England and I was 3 or 4 so I had no idea of any wider ‘issues’. As far as I was concerned, it was just a cracking, well-written story which fascinated me (tigers chasing round a tree till they turned into butter only to be later cooked!) and I asked for it again and again apparently. My rather belaboured point is, why the revisionist take on things which were culturally acceptable at one time and provided huge entertainment? I fear Mr Orwell called it correctly with ‘1984’.
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