Facebook (2)

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As if society wasn’t growing increasingly ignorant anyway, the world of social media arrives with a perfect platform for the narcissistic, self absorbed, ignorant, sychopantic and just downright shameless.

Journeys to work these days usually involve the hissing of “music” from the headphones of the terrible and soulless Simon Cowell factory or heads down viewing whatever Barry from Blackpool has stuck up his arse the night before.

What’s worse is people I have known personally for years, admittedly some I liked more than others, are constantly using Facebook for their favourite topic, themselves. “Me and me, yeah me again, my feelings, my opinion counts not yours” etc etc etc. They were never this self obsessed before Facebook became a “go to place”.

Not posted anything in three weeks? Consider yourself unfriended. You could be unwell, have personal issues or just taking some time away from the madness. You are off my friends list, particularly for not responding to my post about something I felt self righteous about, even not liking that pic of me pouting like a melted Donald Duck mask, no, unfriended. I don’t care if you had personal stuff going on, I don’t wish to contact you anymore.

What’s happened to people? Then we have Twitter, the dandruff sprinkle on the turd cheesecake of Facebook. Shills and sycophants love Twitter, particularly those who spout their shite about film franchises, video games, tv shows and other guff. Something you are a fan of has gone to shit? These people will do their best to ostracise your opinions. Little worms sucking up to corporate executives for their own shameless benefits. Forget constructive criticism, it’s “haters gonna hate” these days. Cunts the lot of them.

Nominated by Shaun

And this week’s tech gem? A Facebook enabled toothbrush – we shit you not!

52 thoughts on “Facebook (2)”

    • I’m okay thanks, Mr Fiddler.
      Not too sure about the luv bit though.
      Actually, Facebook is quite good for stalking birds and getting embarrassing pictures of cunts with whom you work, to be cleverly photoshopped and re-posted to cause maximum emabarrassment and humiliation of a worthless, vegan, left-leaning, sanctimonious wanker.
      Not that I had anything to do with it, honest. I didn’t mean to make the prick cry but it was rather satisfying.
      What a spiteful piece of shit I am. 😄

      • Yep. must admit that I joined under a false name so that I could leer at my friends’ daughters bikini pictures,only trouble is most have them now have their own hobgoblin brats in shot,too. Puts me right off my oggling . I also look up people who I knew years ago and think “Well.you look ’bout ready for yer box, good, Cunt.”
        Good Afternoon, Mr. Cunt-Engine

      • Afternoon, Mr F.
        As a newly-single man, I may have to, unfortunately, trawl through the mire of social media in order to secure myself a bit of lady garden action.
        Having been hitched for 18 years, I do find myself asking the simple question, “how the fuck do you actually pull a woman in this day and age of wimminz, #metoo and all that shit?”
        Fucked if I know, perhaps a studly cunter can point me in the right direction.
        I suppose I shouldn’t open with detailing my hatred of feminists and religion.
        Damn it, now I’m turning into a Facebook cunt too, blathering on about myself…

      • Get to a bar where nobody knows you. Look for the bonniest women in there.Ignore them,you never had a chance anyhow. Target the ugly,fat friend,she’ll be grateful for the attention. Fill her full of drink and agree with whatever garbage she’s spouting. When her friends go to leave,say that you’ll get her a taxi home. Pay the taxi driver for the lift and the mess in the back of his taxi (take the money out of tubby’s purse if she’s asleep). Carry her into her squalid hovel,being careful of the children’s toys which will undoubtedly be scattered everywhere. Deposit her,face down,over the back of her settee so that if she pukes you don’t get covered. Lube her up with a bit of grease out of the empty Kentucky Fried Chicken buckets which will be litterring the place. Wrap your Percy in an empty Doritos bag and have at it. When done wipe your bellend on the curtain and leave.
        Never,under any circumstances,give anyone you real name or any clues as to your true job or location.

        Glad to help.

      • Ooh, you old romantic, you.
        Well, I’ll definitely be scoring later as I’m just off to a beer festival. There’s always well classy birds at those.

      • I was going down on this bird last night, when I suddenly caught a whiff of something none to pleasant.

        “What the fuck is that smell?”

        She said “Yeah, sorry about that. It’s my arthritis.”

        I said “What, in your fanny?”

        She said “No, in my shoulders, I can’t wipe my arse”….

      • The only prob with Dick’s usually excellent advice, is that Princess Margaret has been dead rather too long…

  2. Shaun I only joined Faecesbook under a pseudonym and have only ever posted false personal data and photos(very infrequently) coz I suspected that sites like Google and Faecesbook were funded by the US secret services and surprise surprise the US spooks have finally admitted its true,look up In-Q-Tel

  3. Being in my early 30’s and not quite done and dusted just yet, I’ve been on a few dates now that I’ve finally got rid of that bloodsucking bitch of an ex-wife of mine. These dates went perfectly fine, until the subject of Facebook came up and me not having it. Now you would think most normal people would just take that as a personal choice and move on without so much as a raise of the eyebrow. But no. Each and every one of these vapid, bimbo cunts responded to me with a look of shock that I assume is only comparable to finding out your partner of 30 years is a prolific paedophile.
    These cunts proceeded to grill me about why I wasn’t on Facebook, as if I was some kind of raving lunatic. The dates had already started going downhill but things ramped up when I went on to explain that I didn’t feel the need to parade every aspect of my life on social media like some desperate, attention seeking fuckwit, nor do I want to see/hear about other people’s boring and insignificant lives. Seeing that I was quite obviously referring to them indirectly, things became extremely awkward and that was that.
    One thing I could say about my ex-wife is that she wasn’t some social media obsessive, she was just a cunt in every other sense.
    If cunts like that is what awaits me in today’s single world, I think I’ll settle for being an unsociable, bitter loner with mobile internet and a box of tissues.

  4. I’m confused, I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anything worth censoring in my post?

  5. And daft slags who post their kids every move on Facebook… What are these daft cunt bitches fucking on?! It’s as obvious as Jimmy Hill’s chin that putting photos of a nipper online or on social media makes them a potential sitting duck for every weirdo and Joe Ronce in the world… But wimmin and brat production line slappers love Facebook… As I have said before, wimmin will be the downfall of the civilised world… Either through their vindictiveness and facsist tendencies (Me fucking Too etc) or through their total fucking stupidity, like treating Facebook like a god and welcoming off the boats sandfilth with open arms… Cunts!

  6. And I love it when some total mong looks goggly eyed horrified astonished and says ‘Yer not on Facebook?!!’ And I say, ‘No I am not! Facebook is for thickos, nutjobs, cabbages, and cunts! Go and read a book, if you know how, you fucking cunt!’

    • “Go and read a book”…………..Lily Allen has just brought one out, Norman. Apparently it’s fascinating. Did you get yours signed by Lily herself? Bet you were quite tongue-tied and blushing when you actually got to approach the little Madam.

      🙂 .

      • Surprise surprise Dick,
        She has also been touched up by a record boss way back when. It had to happen, the mong couldn’t have been unmolested throughout her meteoric rise to Z star ‘sleb status. Keef must be so proud of his little parcel of shite he produced from his loins.

    • Fucking bang on!!!
      Never been on facecunt and never will , met my wife in a pub and one conversation we had that night was cunting off social media, neither of us have ever done twatter facecunt instagram or Snapchat!! I have the social media footprint of an ant….

  7. I have a few rules on face book, one is animal cruelty, i don’t like it, dont post it on my page however strongly you feel.
    some do gooder decided it might be prudent to PM to me instead, I asked them nicely to stop, they did it again.
    I had explained that I didn’t like it and had seen a lot of nasty shit in my time, but they didn’t get the message.
    I PM’d them some nice footage of genocide in bosnia (the proper stuff, forcing victims to carry their friends bodies to mass graves and then topping them as well, whilst laughing all the way).
    The y not only have stopped the PM shit but I think they may have unfriended me too!

  8. Hahahaha. Now where do I begin with Fakebook?!

    -My so-called “friends” posting pictures if things that I wasn’t invited to and wasn’t a part of.
    – “Here’s my dog/cat for the 100th time”, “here are my kids for the 100th time”, “here’s what I’m doing and you’re not”!!
    -people from way-back-when, who I was never friends with, trying to add me just so they can be nosey and bore me with their lives.
    Finally, of course, there have been political events over the last couple of years, namely the abusive comments that I started receiving, as well as people “unfriending” me, just because I voted Leave and I’m not a Socialist. About a week after Donald Trump’s election victory I finally decided I’d had enough and deleted my Fakebook account permanently.
    And, in case you hadn’t gathered, Fakebook is not a typo. That’s exactly what I call it in the real world, because it’s just a virtual world of FAKE friends. And for anyone out there who thinks their 500+ Fakebook “friends” are real, I have a suggestion: try asking all of them to lend you a tenner and see how they react…

    • A former friend of mine had 450 friends on facebook, but most of his life is spent online, with no job to distract him from the sharing of clickbait articles he cant be bothered to read, or the arguing with many of these ‘friends’ about videogames.

  9. dont have either and some cunts say im missing out…..I think not , pictures of other cunts tea they’re having that night doesn’t appeal

    im no luddite , plugged in to the matrix just prefer my privacy and it seems happier
    dont keep up with the jonses life

    p.s heard a celeb cunt of the reality fame say “tradgesty” like a mix between tragedy ‘n travesty

    unbelievable

    cunts

  10. ‘Premier League predictions: Lawro v actor Mark Wahlberg’….
    Just how bad has BBC’s football coverage got?… A mincing megabitch cunt like Lawrenson is bad enough, but a D-List Hollywood thug and total imbecile like Wahlberg? This is what the beeb said about Wahlberg….

    Wahlberg grew up playing American sports and admits football, or soccer as he calls it, is not his first love….

    He struggled with a few Premier League team names when he was picking this week’s scores – like Leicester Square, Waterford and Fullman for example….

    But he has been a fan of the sport since watching the 2011 Women’s World Cup…

    Leicester Square? Waterford? Women’s World Cup?! Even a Bolton Wanderers fan has more brains than that… And I bet the BBC actually paid this cunt for his stupidity… Fuck off, Marky fucking Mark, you laughably thick cunt….

      • And Damon has gone into hiding… After he dared to voice his misgivings about Time’s Up/Me Too…. A swarm of led by celebrislags Femstapo witches went into full screeching bitch mode on social media and he hasn’t been seen since… Pussywhipped cunt that he is….

  11. After years and years of not going anywhere near it, 2 years ago due to family pressure I succumbed … for about 3 weeks – it was even worse than I thought. I duly left and never, ever again.

    Morons use it, it makes people even more stupid than they already are.

    Excellent cunting.

    • Referring to? The short story Delenda est from the 60’s or literally Carthage must be destroyed? Interesting use of Latin Miles and I love the plot of the story

  13. After the recent passing away of the Queen of Soul, I got to thinking: did that goggle eyed cunt Jesse Jackson rear his ugly mush at Aretha’s funeral? Did he loudly tell the congregation about how he was engaged to Aretha in her 60s prime, while at the same time he was also Martin Luther King’s best friend, Malcolm X’s window cleaner, Paul Robeson’s vocal coach, and that he did all this while dressed as the Black Panther superhero? I’ll be fucking surprised if he didn’t…

  14. Mrs. Boggs uses something even worse than Fuckbook and Twatter. It’s called Digital Spy and every soap addict in the country, probably like her in her 60s but with the mental age of a 12 year old obsess about anything and everything. Even Mrs. B recoils from time to time. Worse by far are the *appreciation threads* where girls, wimmin and poofs constantly post praise about their favourite character/actor/plot (usually males) She showed me one of the more extreme ones some time ago and it makes Fuckbook users look grown up and intelligent.

    • All the Doctor Who and Sherlock cunts are on Digital Spy…. Spazzing themselves into a frenzy over cunts like Pubehead Moffatt and Benzedrine Cuntberbatch… The place is also full of Corriemongs…. Wetting themselves about how whoever’s been raped/groomed/murdered/blackmailed this week and how Kym Marsh ‘cries’ without any tears (the talentless tart)…. Corrie is due a cunting actually…

  15. Your timing is perfect. I’m currently doing a three day tour of FB jail for posting a meme that wasn’t very nice to Muslims. Thing is, I posted it so long ago I can’t even remember doing it. I’ve sent them an email, in which I point out that freedom of speech is for everyone, not just left wing snowflakes, and that I’ve seen plenty of memes and comments from lefties which breach their “community standards” far worse than the meme I posted. I also told them they could ban me for life for all I care, because

    a) Fuck Facebook.
    b) Mark Zuckerberg is a mole rat’s cunt.
    c) Bans only work if the person banned actually gives a fuck, which I don’t.
    d) Fuck Facebook!

    • Zuckerberg will do more long term damage to this world than Hitler… Stupidity has always been around in the western world… But now -because of Zuckercunt and his abomination – masses think it’s clever and credible to be stupid… From after the war to the 90s barmpots and weirdos could largely be avoided… But now the cunts have a place to congregate and mix with likeminded freaks and morons… That is dangerous, and Zuckerberg is to blame for that… Hanging is too good for the cunt…

      • I completely agree, Norm. He’s made a fortune by making a public platform available to a large group of people who have neither the wit, intelligence, responsibility nor common sense to use it for anything other than destructiveness. So well done Zuckercunt. Big fucking great slow hand clap. I’m sure he enjoys his enormous wealth and loved the public attention and recognition he gets, but I wonder if he’s in any way torn over what he’s done.

  16. My missus is on Fuckbook…

    She avoids logging in or having anything to do with it or anyone else on it at all times.

    Go figure.

  18. Apart from the true social media of IsAC, where views are aired, rebutted but ultimately accepted, I have no social media presence.

    The most sickening thing is how establishments – particularly Universities (surprise fucking surprise) – insist on their usage for actual coursework, etc., but they can also be used to push their ever sickening neo-liberal (fascist) agenda!

    Fuck social media! The reality TV of the t’interweb world!

    Zuckerberg, et. al., need to be seen as having the same historical effect on the world like the black death!

    • I’ve recently joined Minds… you can write all those lovely words you used to be able to write.

  19. Been away for a short while due to starting a new job. Which has been kicking my arse. Mainly due to the hellish commute and long hours. Still, the weekend’s here so I can post something on ISAC.

    Faecesbook. Others have documented what a complete narcissistic and repugnant pile of garbage it is. Providing a public platform for the worst kind of ANTI-social behaviour and self obsession. My problem with this and other cunt platforms like Twatter, Instacunt, etc. is they are fundamentally unnecessary. If they went away in the blink of an eye, would we be any worse off? I don’t think so. My other problem with Faecesbook is how pervasive it is. I wonder how long it will be before we’re all forced to use it because the current alternatives have been replaced by it. For example, signing up for things – online form on a website becomes clicking a button to sign up using your Faecesbook account. Another example: getting information. I found out recently about a limited edition release of a CD I would loved to have got hold of. Comes to find out, its availability was announced on fucking Twatter and Faecesbook. So I missed the announcement. How about updating your fucking band’s website you cunts?

    Like many on here I’m sure, I want absolutely nothing to do with (anti) social media. I’ve lived long enough without it, have no immediate use or interest in it and wish it had never been invented.

  21. cunto above. Carthage is deleted I thought it meant. After it was destroyed. Now I find it means Carthage must be destroyed-a rallying cry from Cato the Elder that it must be destroyed before it was. So my use of it not correct. The Second Century BC. It just goes to show cunto that the pre-Christian Romans were cunts but not ccomplete twats because they wanted it destroyed because child sacrifice was commonplace. Not for resources (there’s fuck all there as now-modern day Tunisia) or for slaves but because it abhorrent to the their civilized Roman tradition.

  22. I was an early member of “Friends Reunited” back in the late 90s early 00s – when social media was in its infancy and still in the realm of computer nerds. I quite liked FR because it was very British, and it was dead easy to meet up old school friends and even ex girlfriends.

    But then “My Space” came along and kicked FR in the bollocks – fatally as it turned out! I joined MS just for the curiosity, but of course it was an international product and became immensely attractive to the new kids on the block back in the early 00s. But the cracks were beginning to show in terms of what we see so glaringly today in terms of “look at me! aren’t I just beautiful and utterly cool?”

    And now we have Shitbook – started off nice and simple, but the owners kept on fucking about with the settings (especially the privacy ones), and you had to relearn everything after every fucking update.

    But it didn’t deter the billion or so people who signed up to have their social lives sucked away from them, as well as their vanity and privacy. And it especially annoying when you see some cunt post “I am off to hospital!” and just leave it at that, knowing full well friends will do follow-up posts with a “What’s up, hun?” “Hope you’re okay!” blah blah – all to feed their ego and neediness.

    Then you get the stupid cunts who post something hateful about their work colleague, teacher or company boss, only to find out the privacy settings were not private enough and the person on the receiving end has got hold of it!

    Stupid cunts!

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