Daleks

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Daleks, fucking Daleks would you fucking believe it. Well in need of an Inter-Galatic Cunting.

When i was a kid I was always safe in the knowledge that if they really invaded earth I’d always be able to escape their evil intentions and their desire to ‘exterminate’ anything that threatened them or they didn’t like by simply running up the stairs.

How wrong could I have been.

Yesterday I turned on the telly and can you believe it, right in front of me was what I must assume is the latest generation Dalek.

I was reminded of the Terminator 1 and 2 films and how the next generation was much more human like than its predecessor, T2 could experience pain and had ‘feelings’.

Daleks have indeed come a long way. The T2 Dalek I watched was so advanced it could actually feel offended and victimised and has actually gone as far as reporting a politician for a hate crime.

Whatever will they think of next? Thought crime?

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Daleks are fucking useless. How many times have they had the dead drop on the Doctor, it’s a fair cop and bang to rights, without doing him on the spot? Naturally he’ll duck out again at the first opportunity, and give the mardy arsed tin cans yet another right kicking up their metal arseholes.

Take over the universe? Yer ‘aving a larf. They couldn’t take the skin off a rice pudding.

PS. Cybermen are even more fucking useless than Daleks, and that’s really saying something.

Nominated by Ron Knee

100 thoughts on “Daleks”

    • Aaah ! You noticed as well. I underestimated you Mr. Creampuff. I won’t be doing that again.

    • And we’ve already got Spine Millington’s Pakistani daleks…

      “Mr. Bannerjee isn’t very well. I exterminated him.”

      • Absolutely bloody brilliant.

        What a shame this type of humour would not be tolerated today.

      • I have all the Q series on vhs. I still piss my self watching Spike Milligan doing the Jehovahs burglars and the smallest Police station In the world. Nothing compares any more

  3. Danny Cotton chief dyke fireMAN.

    Banging on about love island reffering to Firemen.

    A bit rich coming from someone who looks like a bloke.

    Put some mire batteries in it you miserable bitch.

    • She also campaigned for Fireman Sam to be renamed Firefighter Sam , do these cunts ever take a day off Krav? Its obsessing over PC bollox like this that allow our once great services to become a laughing stock.

      • And a big chopper…

        Some pussified hipster going on about “diversity” (and other “issues”) in the brigade this pm on the news.
        What a feckin waste of a minute or so he was.
        He looked the sort who couldn’t get a job doing anything remotely useful, so I guess he’s in some quango/pressure group.
        He just needed some sudden and acute pressure applying to his nads.
        The cuuuunt.

    • She thinks it safe to stick her head over the parapet again – now the Grenfell bollocks has died down for a while!

  5. The Hackney hippo has been gobbing off apart Windrush again today.

    Slim fast for you chunky madam.

  6. Daleks are ace… the sucker that crushes a man’s skull and the death ray that disintegrates the internal organs are great… Right about them not offing the Doctor though… Shame the Skaro Mob didn’t exterminate the last three (post-Eccleston) Doctors (not to mention River Cunt, Clara the Cunt, Missy Cunt, Bill The Black Wonder Horse Lezza Cunt etc)… The latest one (Jumpable Jodie) should face the tin terrors in scanties wielding a doddy style tickling stick… They could call it ‘Ejaculation Of The Daleks’….

      • Maybe there will be a sequel to “Genesis of the Daleks” where it will be confirmed that all Daleks were originally mutated from white working class males because of their innate racism, evil history, blah blah fucking blah.
        Writes itself doesn’t it? BBC cunts…

  7. Reports out that Danny Boyle has quit the latest Bond film due to “creative differences”
    Oh to have been a fly on the wall in Barbara Broccoli’s office…

  8. Remember seeing an episode in the early 1960s where they got to open up a Dalek… the thing inside bore a remarkable resemblance to a mashed up Flabbott.

    Slimy, oozing, slug-like, black abortion.

    Huge fucking let-down as I recall.

    • But it had visible legs, I’m almost sure. Thought Dr Who was a heap of ordure from the word go, myself – never saw why it had a fanbase. The theme music was ahead of its time, true, but the title sequence…
      ‘Dr Oho’ >>>(whoops, too late to redo the lot – out with the Tippex)>>>”Dr Who”

      • Don’t remember any limbs as such, but agree, Dr Who was always shite, but a kitch, typically English sort of shite… and as you say, the theme music was truly innovative (I bought the 45 on Decca, at the same time as ‘Diamonds’ by Jet Harris & Tony Meehan), that along with the opening graphics were what really made the programme special and stand out. Was 10 when the first episode aired, but more or less lost interest after William Hartnell fucked off.

      • They’re more cunty for making that ridiculous “peace” sign than anything else, Mr F.
        Besides, if Mrs Cunt Engine got naked in public, there would’ve a mass epidemic of shocked instant blindness to put “Day of the Triffids” to shame, the disgusting fat bitch.

      • It’s from a show called “TV Offal” Ron. A chap called Victor Lewis Smith. Probably 20 years ago.
        There was a brilliant bit just after Linda McCartney died where they broadcast her singing live and it sounded a mongoloid cat being tortured with a lighted cigar. Just to be cunts to her. Brilliant!

      • Also celebrity Honest Obituaries, eg. Vanessa Feltz dying from a blowback of her own diarrhoea.

        And a satire on royalty – “It’ll all end in tiaras.”

    • Oh fuck I’d forgotten all about the intergalactic mincers!!!
      Nice one TTCE ….,,. 👍👍

    • Whaddya talkin’ abaaaat? Willie Stroker linked a version of the Gay Daleks at 5.44pm, four posts from the top!

  10. Daleks would be no match for a bunch of Pikeys. There’d be nothing left bar the casters. The rest would be weighed in for scrap before they had a chance to deploy their deadly sink-plungers….”Exterminate,exterminate” indeed.

    I wonder if Jenna-Louise Coleman is still gullible enough to go off with a dirty old Cunt who wouldn’t think twice about claiming to be a doctor? If so, I’m her man . “Open wide, Jenna…..and later we’ll have a look at your teeth too.”

    Fuck her.

      • Talking about rotary, does anyone here remember the infamous “Rotary Tools” scandal, prob about 1975. Incentives (ie under-the-table BJs), involving a very fit-looking Polish Anna, with the wonderfully appropriate name of Grunt.

        Allegedly, there are a lot of people in Norfolk called Grint, but I am sure the luscious Anna was a Grunt.

  12. There was a Peaceful girl at my school who was affectionately known as DAVROS.

    She’d been burnt in a fire, kids can be so cruel.

    Personally I stayed on the right side of her, just in case.

  13. The dogs killed a young hare today. I shall do it in the Aga on Sunday. They can have the lights,heart and liver. I shall open a bottle of Bulls Blood to wash it down.

    • We get quite a few muntjac deer around here, do the hounds go for anything that moves, hares, deer, the odd rambler?

      • Pretty much. One of them is a rescue dog who’d been used for coursing so its just natural for him. I only tend to shoot the rabbits and the odd deer if it’s causing damage. I rather like the hares,so try to leave them alone.
        It’s normally me who chases the ramblers.

      • Hard to tell with most ramblers if they are male or female, RTC. The same wrinkly,stubbly face and miserable look about them.

    • My beast had squirrel in the kitchen recently, one came in through sky light early this morn smashed feckin plate and gaviscon bottles. Fecking American immigrunts.

      • We’ve just recently started to get the greys. I was talking to a keeper who reckons that some animal rights lot have been releasing them up here. I can’t see it myself,what would be the point? All they’ll do is wipe out the reds.

      • Shot them,trap them,run the buggers over…doesn’t matter how you do it,just as long as they’re dead.

      • You can shoot them, bludgeon the little cunts and trap them, what you can’t do is release the little fuckers back into the wild!! cos apparently thats a criminal offence?

    • Have all the rabbits disappeared round your squiredom, Dick? I’ve seen one this year – a rabbit-Ebola epidemic, apparently. May need to watch the bushmeat…ramblers, being nominally human, are immune, though.

      • No, they’re actually increasing after a few lean years. They might be a fucking menace but I hate to see them mixied up. I will boil the odd one up for the dogs if they’re not too bad,but can’t bring myself to eat it.

      • We were over run with bunnies up here, then few years back all disappeared as if over night, strange.

      • Find them pretty nauseating eating even when they’re healthy, tbh. I can eat anything I’ve gutted except rabbit for some reason. But it’s spooky down here – not a bunny to be seen where last year it was heaving with them, no trails in the grass, no gaps in the crops, no droppings, nothing. With myxie, you see the sick ones, but this is a different plague, I believe – details here:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_haemorrhagic_disease

        Wasn’t joking about Ebola, btw.

      • Fuck me, it’s frightening that. I always just put it down to mixie when it was a lean year for them.

    • DF, do you get your Bulls Blood (am guessing it’s the wine…) from Aldi, or do you have a better / cheaper “source” ? Am getting an Aldi bottle next payday.

      • I just get it at the local off-licence,HBH. I’m told that it’s cheaper at Tesco,but I tend to avoid the place. . I don’t think that it’s quite the same brew as it was 30 odd years ago,suspect that it’s been “Updated and improved”,but I still enjoy it.

      • Ta for that, DF.

        Local offies round here may have something suitably dodgy – the owners certainly look dodgy…

        I first had it when I was about 9 or 10, with Sunday lunch (about 1970/71). No quality control back in Soviet days, so you could get a run of smashing stuff, then real rot-gut.
        I’ve seen some on-line places charging about £20 for real ponced-up stuff… Aldi looks ok by comparison, so I’ll give it a shot. Nothing ventured…

      • Round about the 80’s Bulgarian Cabernet (sold as such) was bloody wonderful and almost insultingly cheap, but haven’t seen it lately. Have given up on finding a firm favourite as the brands are in a state of constant flux – find something good and the next time you go in it’s gone. Have a strong suspicion that a lot of blending to appeal to the debased British palate is involved these days: most Rioja is nothing like what I remember from the 80’s, eg. Guess you get what you pay for now.

      • Fucking right Komodo!

        Religiously knocked back a bottle or two of Bulgarian Cabernet every night in the ’80s… fanks for the happy mammaries, you’re my best mate…

  15. Ate at a Doctor Who themed restaurant last night.
    Chose from the Dalek menu.

    Dalek pasta…not very good.
    Dalek pizza…bland.
    Bread was ok….

    Coat already on….

  16. For some unknown reason I cannot link on this site but if a fellow cunter would care to help me out please link “ eat da poo poo “ from you tube!!!
    It’s fucking brilliant and I’m sure will bring tears to the ISAC faithful ….

      • Not wrong there, a lot of the hardcore Christian ones love deviants as much as they love the peacefools.

        Evenin’ to you Mr Fiddler.

      • I’m in fucking tears… Like ice cream !!!

        Weep my fellow cunters, for as every day that passes life becomes a little less funny, and a lot more sterile, courtesy of our neoliberal libmong ‘betters. And after next week, when this becomes terrorist material or hate speech, and they take it down – remember to teach your children what the world used to be like.

  17. A shooting has taken place in Rayner’s Lane, Harrow, NW London.

    This is the Suckdick Khunt/ Cressida Strap-on era! WOOOOOOOO!!!

    On another note, Rayner’s Lane is an even bigger cesspit now then it was years ago, and that’s saying something!

  18. “EU residents will be secure if no Brexit deal” says Raab.

    This is something that the EU negotiators have told the UK is compulsory from day one.

    Have the EU ever guaranteed that UK ex pats will be able to stay in the EU?

    If so, must have missed it. And if not, why are we doing this without insisting on specific reciprocity in this area?

    Barnier went on to say: “Our challenge for the coming weeks is to try and define an ambitious partnership between the UK and the EU – a partnership that has no precedent.

    “This partnership has to respect the single market and the foundations of the European project, and if this is well understood we can conclude the negotiations successfully.”

    They think its all over- it is now. Complete fucking capitulation.

    • Our politicians might as well have all lied on their backs and the EU piss in their mouths while they’re at it.

      Cunts.

      • A pathetic response from a pathetic excuse of a human being.

        So he says he’s on an election footing, my God does this communist shit stain ever stop trying to claw his way to power under any excuse? The jocks will help get the Tories out huh? Funny that, I remember them voting more for the Tories than Labour the last time out.

        To hell with Corbyn, the only thing he deserves is an Ice pick to the skull.

  19. All charges dropped against Hillsborough police chief:

    Oh fuck!

    Another 30 fucking years of Liverpool whingeing!!

      • And Louise Jameson as Leela and Mary Tamm as Romana… I feel sorry for these young lads of today, who’ve been brought up with Clara the Cunt and Bill the Black Lezza Wonder Horse… Who doesn’t even have good totty any more (apart from Jodie, of course)…. I hope the snowflakes and femstapo knobheads are near to exploding when they find out loads of men are watching the new series for a butchers at Ms. Whittaker…

    • The libfuck morons and femstapo scum will say ‘It’s Weinstein playing dirty!’ And why shouldn’t he? I reckon that (at least) 95% of his ‘victims’ knew the score and knew what they were doing and why they were doing it… Cunt though she is, Germaine Greer had it spot on when she said ‘You can’t willingly open your legs for a film producer to enhance your career and then cry about it years later’…. I hope this is the beginning of the end for the Time’s Up and Me Too lynch mobs and if Uncle Harvey is going down, that he takes a few self serving celebrislags with him….

      • Germaine Greer isn’t a cunt and Asia Argento can assault me any time she likes.

        Uncle Harvey is a fecking saint compared to those Time’s Up Me Too slags.

      • Monica Bellucci can have a go at me if she likes… Only a madman (or demented snowflake) would complain about that…

  22. Yeah the Daleks haven’t had a problem with stairs since the late 80’s. You can thank Sly CrinkleCutCrisp for that one!

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