Baby On Board

Baby On Board
Someone please explain to me why some cunts find it necessary to announce to other motorists, by means of a plastic sign from Halfords, that they have a “Baby On Board” their vehicle.

To these cunts I say – What in the name of infinite cuntititudity makes you think I should give a fucking shit ?

Does it make you feel safer for yourself and your (most likely equally pointless spunk-sample in post-coital form) offspurt, whilst driving in your customarily fuck-witted fashion ?

Are you simply attempting to project your own, obvious, inadequacy behind the wheel onto me ? Do you think that just because you drive like a cunt when your child is not in the car, that I do as well ?

Or are you of the opinion that I should pay more attention to the road than you, because you have an infant in the car who requires all of your attention, regardless of the fact that you’ve decided to get behind the fucking wheel of a potentially lethal piece of machinery and attend to your sprog at the same time ?

Or are you just showing off that you’ve miraculously pulled off the hitherto impossible and finally persuaded some standard-free slapper to actually have SEX with you ?

Either way – I couldn’t give a fuck, you cunt !

Nominated by, Cunt Reviled

27 thoughts on “Baby On Board

  1. I think this is a real contribution to road safety. Whenever I see this sign I refrain from ramming the car at high speed. Without this sign, who knows what might happen?

    • @Cunstable

      My sentiments exactly. We’re more alike than either of us might care to admit.


    • Exactly.Why don’t Halfords sell a ‘No baby on board,do your fuckin’ worst’ sign?

  2. These signs must be intended for thick cunts to remind them not to forget their children. They still don’t work though. Saw this bloke get out his car the other day and walk into the shop. He had three young kids a way behind him and he wasn’t paying them any attention. He was too busy showing off his dodgy tattoos and prancing about in his shite clobber. There was a main road and one of the kids could have easily ran out into it. The cunt didn’t help these kids into the car; instead getting into the drivers seat and leaving his youngest to struggle with the heavy car door. She was about 3 or 4. What a rotter of a bloke. Cunt.

  3. Fuck Baby-on-board signs;
    Fuck the latest Royal Wedding
    Fuck the Russian-funded Chelsea Rentboys;
    Fuck Mourhino, the dull, sour, detestable coward:
    Fuck Conte and his feeble syrup;
    and Fuck the dirty Mancs the bin-dipping glory-chasing cunts;

    Booze o’clock.

    • Spooky WS I was just talking to my butcher about the blatant play acting shite that has infected football and mentioned that amongst other things,
      another shameful act was simones reaction to thick as shit Beckhams stupid leg flick!! …….

      • Regarding the baby on board sign I’ve always thought it was a joke like the old bumper stickers, remember “ passion wagon don’t laugh your daughter might be inside” or “ honk if your horny” fuck me ISAC is not only a fun site but informative too….
        The only sticker that ever made me smile was some cunt in Essex had stuck “ my other cars a Porsche “ on his very new and shiny 911 …… such unbridled cuntitude!!

  4. I just read this cunting to my partner and he said it was for emergency workers (?!?). The fuck, you say? I pointed out that fucking baby in a car would be obvious even if weren’t screaming it’s lungs out and that he was a cunt to suggest there was a validation for the signs. Cunt…

    • Yep – if there’s one of those things in/on a car the firemen have to go back and check after they’ve dragged out the unconscious parents (who obviously didn’t take as much care as they’re expecting everyone else to take). Firemen fucking hate them.

  5. We’ve had this cunting before, but it’s still worthy of being called out for the utter bollocks that it is. Regular viewers will know I fucking hate kids. Like poison. Consumers of everything. Producers of nothing worthwhile. If we’re to have stupid fucking “Baby On Board” signs in cars to alert other road users that a precious and invaluable infant is in the vehicle, then we should also have signs which say “Tax Payer On Board”. They’re far more valuable than your screeching, vomiting, shitty fucking brat. Cunts!

  6. There used to be a doctor who had his own column in the Sunday People. He wrote that those with Baby On Board stickers were people who need to let everyone know that they’d had sex but weren’t intelligent enough to use contraception. Apparently it didn’t go down very well but I liked his style.

  7. I hope that these stickers aren’t some kind of precursor for everyone having to display a notice telling the authorities just who is in every vehicle…not that I need worry,someone very kindly writes “Miserable Old Cunt” with a remarkably obscene sketch of an erect penis in the dirt on the back of my pick-up every time I leave it unattended.

    • Very little so-called “comedy” makes me laugh at all, let alone out loud, these days. Congratulations, Mr. Fiddler – that had me guffawing !

  8. Fucking Wankers. These cunts feel the need to advertise their fertility to the world as reproducing themselves is the only thing they have ever achieved. After the baby sign comes “little princess on board”, then “mum’s taxi” and I have even seen “proud grandfather of twins.”
    If your spunk is not fertile enough to inseminate some stupid slag there’s always “show dogs in transit.”
    In America they have this mobile bragging down to a fine art and you can get stickers advertising all sorts of shit to complete strangers you are never going to meet. The best one i’ve seen….”my son is an honors student at Ole Miss.” ( that’s Mississippi State University to you and me) Of course they forget to tell you that any cunt who can hold a pencil up the right way can get into Ole Miss. ( as long as you’re white )
    Car stickers are for wankers and cunts but it’s nice of them to give us advanced warning so we can take steps to avoid the boring, self important bastards.

  9. Was there one of these on the back of (Willy) the Dick and (Katie) the Dumbcuntess of Cuntbridge’s car?

    • They’ll probably have “Fluffy pink pwincess-bitch on board” sticker.

      And a good line from Neverenders the other pm…

      “Fergie’s got a nasty crack!”

      Reckon she’s got several, and like that broken mug, they’ll ooze and seep when it gets hot and wet…

      • Bus driver to pedestrian he’s just knocked over….
        …’Did you hurt yourslf Luv?’
        ‘Yeah…I got a hell of a fucking nasty crack’
        ‘Yes, I saw it, but did you hurt yourself?

  10. I am frequently annoyed, when noisily and aggressively overtaking* a car with a Baby On Board sign, to observe that there is in fact no baby on board. Surely such drivers should be prosecuted for fraud?

    * I’m told that the sides of any vehicle flex visibly in time to the exhaust note as I pass

  11. Is it illegal to have spinning, sharp metal devices on your wheels for shredding tyres (tires to General Cuntster) these days? They seem to be the perfect antidote to these cuntified car stickers and may also reduce the mong population at the same time.

    • @Smeggy

      While not a licensed driver in the UK…I believe they are illegal on everything except vintage Aston Martins…ala James Bond in Goldfinger.

      🚗 🔥. 🚗. 🇬🇧

  12. What about princess on board or grandchild on board bloody silly sods, why do you need to relay to the whole planet your a breeder, i wonder could i get compensation for the hurt i go through when i see these signs cos im no longer capable of sirering any more , its so distressing and makes me afraid and uncomfortable oh for a safe space to shelter in, i regret my vasectomy every day.
    Do i fuck tell my 3 i wish i had it done when i was 12

  13. I have always had a theory that the wankers who display a *Baby on BOARD* sticker, imagine they are really riding on a luxury yacht. They are the same cunts who like to overdress their work status, calling themselves *officers* when they are really admin penpushers.

    I don’t know if David Beckham and his ugly cunt of a wife ever displayed that inane sign, but it wouldn’t surprise me, along with a go faster stripe and “Dave” and whatever his wifes name is festooned across the windscreen. I was amazed to see that pair of has-beens, not to mention James Slubberguts Corden, of the cheap shoddy car insurance ads , not to mention cheap shoddy comedy, turn up to that goon show yesterday. Probably the funniest show that wanker has ever taken part in..

  14. Ah yes, desk-pilots, officer-(cunt) class…

    I wonder if the Civil Service still use the “Executive Officer” &c. terminology ?

    I’ve always thought that “EO” sounds a bit “Teletubby”

Comments are closed.