A few days ago, we were told that the Skripals had “miraculously” survived because it had been washed off the car door handle.

This pm, we are “reliably informed” (ha bloody ha) that Salisbury will be the first area of National Biohazard Interest in GB, and is likely to remain so for a long time.

I can also think of a large number of reasons why Amber Dudd needs cunting…
Not being able to do the most straightforward job without cocking the whole thing up is a good place to start.

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard


21 thoughts on “Новичо́к

    • Yah…I giess the Russian is sposed to be a pun because it doesn’t spell novichok.

  1. Something weird going on in Salisbury. Not enough Novochuk to kill them but enough to need a clean up operation that’s going to last months. Wtf?

    • False flag.

      To hide and distract from Brexit or God knows how many other seedy underhand dealings this ‘government’ is working.

      Like the Empire Windrush shite, being used as a deflection faway from the Telford child grooming attrocities.

  2. The whole episode is bizarre,first the poison was meant to have been ingested at some restaurant(murky photo of some suspect couple),then we moved on to just about every scenario for when the dirty deed occurred bar it being pumped up their arses as they had a shit. It’s been on doorhandles,suitcase handles,car-door handles,in the car airvents,in food and drink that the lassie brought back from Russia. etc.
    I have absolutely no idea where the poison came from,who administered it,or why they administered it. Apparently I am now on an equal footing with our intelligence services. What a comforting thought.
    Someone should kick Rudd in the Cunt…just for a laugh.

    • I heard it was the door handle of their home – on the ALBBC news at six the other night 2 female cops stood guard outside the said door with not a single NBCD clad scientist in sight. Do the politicians take every single one of us for cunts? “Months and millions to decontaminate Salisbury”???? Was it sprayed from a fucking aeroplane?

  3. NOVI TOLCHK or novi chok, the present that keeps giving seeing as they have chucked it round salisbury like no ones business.
    what happened to the good old poisoned umbrella on the underground?
    Vlad’s 9th department lacks the panache of the KGB.

  4. The Dudd couldn’t find her own arse in the dark, which makes her ideal front bench material.
    All we know is that we are being lied to by these politician cunts….business as usual, nothing to see here.

  5. I don’t believe Russian Hobnobs are cunts.
    The chocolate has less sugar but is still a good dunk.

  6. I first started having doubts about this story when it was described as the “Salisbury attack”
    As if mibbee the media were trying to implant the idea that it was an attack on the public rather than an attack on a dubious two faced got what he deserved for being untrustworthy cunt, cunt.
    Now there is to be millions and months spent on cleaning it up.
    I’m not claiming nuffin happened but it does seem to be a yarn that is unravelling all over the place, but mainly the whole city of Salisbury.

    • Mibbee the Russians could leave some chemical eh, stuff at Apple stores worldwide.
      That would be some cull and only the most deserved cunts would be affected.

  7. Just heard the Russian ambassador claiming that the Salisbury cleanup operation was in order to prevent ‘an independent and transparent enquiry’
    Remind me, when did Putin last order a genuinely independent and transparent enquiry into anything?
    I see there are no independent inspectors in Douma as yet.

      • An investigative journalists lifespan in Russia is approximately half that of the common mayfly. Diss Putin, get deadski. And none of this car crash, died in his sleep bollocks either. They may as well strangle them with a hammer and sickle flag, because the little homo erotic gangster cunt wants those that piss him off to know what to expect. Cunts.

  8. Funny how this all happened after Stephen Hawking died ? I think someone smeared his old skiddy Y fronts over the door handle. Years of crud building up on them , highly toxic.

  9. It was the poison to target window. Some dumb idiot totally mucked it up and got distracted on Porton Down. Anything, even farts invariably lose potency. So if you smear nerve agent on a door handle it will decay unless the poor knob grabs the handle within around ninety minutes. So some dumb cunt botched the assassination and will probably end up in on the steppe plucking blades of grass with tweezers with his arse personally kicked there by Vlad .

    • I think that some operative has already been turned into bonemeal for the KGB Rose-Garden of Remembrance…

  10. I may be a simple cunt and I may not understand how Russia deals with it’s traitors but surely they could of killed him with certainty in may ways, it’s not beyond Russia to get anything from pistol to a nuke over our porous borders.

    No I am meant to believe that a guy that was under deep cover living under his own name in Salisbury was targeted by a chemical weapon on his door knob.

    So Russia is now the carry on team of geo politics? What a loaf of cock dribble

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