Congratulations to Basement Bob who wins the fastest Dead Pool on record by hitting the Bullseye with Jim Bowen!
So we move on to Dead Pool 88. Super! Smashing! Great!
Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one)
1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!
2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).
Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.
Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck
Also any cunt nap long time cert Steven Hawking? If so Yours Truly offers to chair, with impeccable fairness, any resultant Stewards Inquiry.
5
Jerry Maren
Richard O’Sullivan
Terry Jones
Jill Gascoigne
Hardy Kruger
1
Warren Buffett
Bob Dole
Norman Tebbit
Barry Gibb
Keef Richards
2
Peter Sutcliffe
Peter Tobin
David Berkowitz
Levi Belfield
James Corden
3
Lionel Blair
Burt Bacharach
Mel Brooks
Bobby Charlton
Barry Chuckle
1
Michael Aspel
Stanley Baxter
George Bush Snr
Jimmy Carter
Martin Peters
1
Two Taken so
Brigette Bardot
Irene Papas
1
Prince Phillip
June Lockhart
Jamie Carragher
David Attenborough
Paul Gascoigne
2
Phil the Greek taken
1
I wish someone would take all my current five! Still racked with guilt over Jim Bowen, the only good cunt in my picks. At least B&W cunt didn’t poach the cunt like he usually does.
3
Change to Hosni Mubarak
2
In 1. William Beggs. Child killer who disposed of Limbs in Loch. Someone’s gotta leave the right cell doors open sometime.
In 2. Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, Britain’s favourite Journo, sorry I meant celebrity inmate. Still waiting at the luxury villa for Boris & the briefcase, currently dealing with another spy issue.
In 3. Gerry McCann. Father of the year 2007 nominee. Karaoke favourite, A spoonful of sugar (helps the medicine go down).
In 4. Ian Huntley, just to keep Gerry company while Kate’s elsewhere. I’m sure they’ll find something to talk about.
5. Shona “the fairground prize gonk” Robison. (Scotland’s equivalent to Jeremy Hunt).
She’s planning to reinvent NHS Scotland with the money raised from fixed unit priced alcohol?
Pity, as Nicola’s blown it already. Free abortions to loose legged Oirish birds. Sad that “the slappers actually paid themselves” £650+ at NHS England Hospitals for a hoovering out?
That’s Krankie EconoNic’s for you.
7
Olivia Newton John
Jan Michael Vincent
Anne Robinson
Robbie Williams
Gay Byrne (on acid)
2
Christ on a bike we’ll have to start running a “Not Dead” Pool soon! It’s been like a bingo caller over the last few days.
Anyway my nominations – excluding Norman Tebbit – are:
Sidney Poitier
Kenny Lynch
Iris Apfel
Nigel Lawson
Pam “fucking” Ayres
1
Kenny Lynch, I’d forgotten about that cunt of yesteryears.
2
Sepp Blatter
Michel Platini
Jerome Valcke
Jack Warner
Geoff Hurst
5
No sign of Blair, Branson, Clegg, Clarke, Heseltine, Soubrey or any other Remainers shuffling off this mortal coil. Bastards!
6
Peter Kaye
Tippi Hedren
Tony Bennett
Bernard Cribbens
Michael Parkinson
3
Ming Campbell
Steven Seagal
Kim Jong Un
3
Camel-laaaaah Parkyer-Bowels
Joannaaaah Plastic-Bumley
Silly Jilly Cooper
Emma Twatson
Laura Cuntsberg
3
Betty White
Neil Kinnock
Joanna Lumley
Terry Venables
Brian Blessed
3
Jamie Carragher
Steven gerard
Phil thompson
Kenny dalgleish
Tommy smith
3
Chuck Norris
Sian Phillips
Dominic Chianese
Kenny Rogers
Lata Mangeshkar
2
Sean Connery
Tim Curry
John McCain
Bob Barker
Barbara Bush
2
Gerald Harper
Bill Maynard
Katie Boyle
Millicent Martin
Desmond Morris
1
Katie Boyle dead.Congratulations boilsucker.
0
I have been nominating Jim Bower for abaaaaaht two years now and the one time I get beaten to it he pops his clogs.
Clive James
Murray Walker
Gordon Banks
Chris Rea
David Van Day
2
Ginger Baker
Pope Francis
Sheldon Adelson
Rick Wakeman
Gerry Adams
2
Nice one, Bob..
Great Smashing Super!
Tommy Docherty
Frank O’ Farrell
Cleo Laine
Pete Murray
Bill Wyman
1
Sting
Mick Hucknall
Peter Mendelson
All the Kinnocks
Mark Thatcher
1
Chris Spivey. Please God..hurry up and end this cunt.
Ian Watkins. Suicide but preferably sliced up in prison.
Joanne Mjadzelics. Pathetic overdose days after Watkins.
Dr Nigel Oldfield. Heart attack the fat cunt.
5
Buzz Aldrin
Chuck Yeager
James Randi
Virginia McKenna
Gina Miller
1
Katie Boyle dead at 91.Boilsucker wins!
0