Clare Balding [4]

Clare ‘Bernard’ Balding has somehow transmogrified from being a merely annoying horse-loving sportscunt commentator, to an al-BBC monstrous box-ticking pet project used to champion the usual causes of Wimmin, Homos, and Fruits. But her cuntitude is far deeper than the sum of those shitty liberal parts.

Her shouty-cunty faux-startled delivery alone is usually enough to grind the gears of even the most transcendental Buddhist. However, she unbelievably took it up a further notch this week by forcing her ‘outrage’ upon viewers at the fair and just disqualification of dismal snowflake and Winter Olympic skating failure, Elise Crashtie. Quite what Bernard Balding was so exasperated about is beyond me – just commentate on the unfolding events and spare us your fucking shit-opinion, you shit-haired cunt.

In fact, therein lies the real cunt – similar to recent cunting analysis on newsreaders like Tom Bradby, Balding is a joint-honours graduate from the school of cunt presenters who need to BE the news as much as deliver it. Listening to the indignant rug-muncher bark away for this ‘just’ cause and practically tug herself into a stupor of over-indulgent whiteknighting was enough to consider whether my right fist could ram through the LCD TV screen unscathed.

I remember a few years ago half-watching the Lord Mayor’s parade on TV. Balding, not yet the national cunt-treasure she was destined to become, interviewed some little boy with trademark simpleton zeal and alarmist exclamation. Afterward, going back to Dimblebee in the commentary pod, he made this truly bizarre statement, spoken in all sincerity: “I suspect that little boy never imagined when he woke up today that he would end up getting a chance to talk to Clare Balding.”

I bet he fucking well didn’t, the poor bastard.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

A simple and brief cunting again for Clare as she is the embodiment of the abc and vice versa.

Her stupid Ray Mears lacquered hair, Desperate Dan chin, and that boxers neck carries more weight than that the fact that she clearly knows fuck all about any sport (still) outside of the posh horses. Lots of fake enthusiasm and nodding of the head when listening to our washed up athletes makes her a national treasure forever apparently.

Not content with taxpayers money tho.. casts her net to C4 and BT also. The grabbing cunt.

Nominated by Slinky Pinky

59 thoughts on “Clare Balding [4]

  1. How her/his star has risen so far from the early days of presenting horse races knee deep in shit and taking in all the smug farts from its posh owners.l can only guess its because its a Bull Dyke as i cannot see any other reason why its been so successfully with such a small amount of tools and natural ability . Same as the monstrosity known as Miranda Hart or that down syndrome boy Sarah Milligan or whatever its called .

    • Radzi Chinyanganya – Al BBC winter Olympics presenter – now where in the bowels of hell did they drag that cunt up from? I do love the occasional blambo, I think every home should have at least one but Christ on a bike – any cunt who pays the Al BBC licence fee wants their fucking bumps feeling.

    • While you’re cunting other contributors for not reading the rules on nominations, it might be worth reflecting on how to spell ‘rotting’

      Because of the typo 15 of your comments ended up in moderation!

      Maybe you should just leave the word out in future? It’s bordering on unacceptable anyway.

      • noted, I’ll stick to my name then, believe it or not I am called Steve Jobs (well Stephen Jobs)

  2. An ugly, Desperate Dan lezzer bore yes, but, unlike certain other Brussels Broadcasting employees, she’s not a remoaner or a Taxdodger, or a lover of bearded child refugees.
    Well, she might be but I don’t know about it so fuck it.

    • She’s from such a background as to have “good advice” aplenty. “Keep your mouth shut about anything except wages equality.”.

    • If match of the day was like that I may feign some interest and tune in.
      But the only big things you see on MOTD is Gary Lineker’s jug-ears and his BBC pay cheque.
      He makes Gabby Logan , Chris Moyles, Joanna Gosling, Brendan Caroll & Jimmy Carr look like amatuers when it comes to avoiding tax

      • SJ, Lineker is INDEED the most despical shite-stain !!

        While we’re on the subject of sports-mad (and criminally-insane) meejah wank-artistes, Stuart Hall was allegedly credited with the invention of the phrase “The Beautiful Game”.

        Funny that (no mention of his other scurrilous “activities”…

        I always thought that The Beautiful Game was what most of the female characters in Corrie and Emmerdale had been on, leading to nice blackmail plots…

  3. When you think of the cabinet of some of the fantastic sports commentators that the BBC have produced over the past 50 years or so it is almost insulting we are now expected to put up with Claire Balding. A pale imitation of once sporting commentator greats.

    Knows fuck all about the vast majority of sports she presents (with the possible exception of the Alpine beaver gnawing event) has fuck all constructive or meaningful to say, adding little or nothing worthwhile to proceedings. I remember one BBC sports commentator who was told when he first started out “only talk when necessary and when you have something interesting to say that the viewer cannot see or workout for themselves”. Perhaps Claire would do well to take that advice.

    Someone had already mentioned that Balding looks like Desperate Dan on a bad day, not remotely shaggable I would suggest even after many, many alcoholic bottles of alcohol.

    As much as I have enjoyed the BBC Winter Olympics coverage cannot say I have enjoyed Clair Baldings contributions at all, nor see what the actual point of her is. The same can be said of pretty much all of the BBC sports presenters these days.

    BBC Sport RIP.

    • Have said before that I think that ALL women sports presenters are shit.

      Never seen or heard a good one.

      Claire Bulldog has only helped reinforce my belief.

      • Hazel Irvine isn’t too painful on snooker/golf. And that Scottsh bird who frequents the paddock on F1 is quite knowledgable. Otherwise, I’m struggling to see the point of them.

      • All the BBC sports presenters are shit, male & feamle (and non-binary) they’re all gormless, vacuous twats earning £100,000 a year for a few hours a day a couple of months a year reading an autocue.
        That’s why the BBC would only disclose salaries over £150,000, because most of these part-timers are on £100k a year for about 100 hours a year!

        Hazel Irvine is shit, she makes snooker unwatchable, luckily you only have to endure her in the intro and during the mid-session intervals.

        BBC sport is a joke, millions spent on premiership highlights and millions spent on crap like rowing, tennis, Olympics, darts and rugby and golf.

        Give it another decade and the BBC sport output will the boat race, everything else will be PPV on Sky & BT lol

      • Just look at how many sport, weather and newsreaders they employ:
        I could name 30+ newsreaders, 20+ sport presenters, 15+ weather presenters and god knows how many other business, politics, economic and newsnight presenters.
        All siphoning off £100,000 a year for a few hours, none of them paying tax and the BBC not paying a penny in NI contributions.

  4. Are any of you cunters watching the Calcutta cup Scotland v England?
    Without doubt my favourite annual sporting event!
    I’ve 2 Scottish friends, instead of sending them a stream of piss taking jokes I never send anything? It actually winds them up far more than words could ever do, complete indifference to England’s domination…… So complete it’s unworthy of mentioning…….
    plus if by cruel chance we happen to lose they can’t get into it….

  5. Claire Balding……hmmmm. Quite right. Shims fucking useless, and reminds me of my neighbors Pug. Never in my born days could I ever imagine that I could mount that. Mind you, that young filly she is currently riding is a bit of alright. I dare say she is worth a tenner each way this season, or , if you are of that mind, include in a nap selection. Remember the name, Shirah! ( Falkland Stables )

  6. Anyone have that Vicar of Dibley bird in the dead pool?
    The daft blonde one, not Dawn French (I know… I know)….

    • Fucking awful Norman – only 53. Would love to have bashed her back doors in when she was in VOD. Not quite the same once they have gone cold though. And cunts like the swivel eyed lunatic are still breathing – after having made nobody laugh – ever. No fucking justice.

  7. Any truth in the rumour that a leading University was intending to launch a Keth Vaz studies degree but had to abandon its plans once they realised that the ‘Reasons Vaz is a cunt’ module would itself take longer than the standard 3 years most degrees take to complete? In fact they worked out that this part of the course alone would last longer than the average human lifespan.

    • So much to learn so little time, we’ve got creative accounting (the cunt manages to own 8 homes on an MP’s salary), chemistry (poppers and cocaine), sex ed (bumming Romanian rent boys and I guess you could double this up with International Relations). Business Studies (the Hinduja brothers passport scandal), you would need a fucking safe space after being triggered by this oily little turds dealings.

      • I believe the reason Vaz has never faced prosecution is because no one has the time to type out the charge sheet.

      • The amount of bumming around he has been up to warrants the Cox penalty, in fact they should take his nuts off as well, cement up his back pipe and give the dirty bastard a Stoma bag to shit.

  8. Balding has to be the most in-your-face boring presenter. Even before she became Director General, when she ruined the Grand National, me and Mrs CnR could not stand her. Does she gave a partner? Surely not even the most desperate mank lezzer would want to wake up next to it (shit, I wish I didn’t have that vision in my head).

  9. I had to google this cunt too. Apparently, she used to stand knee deep in horseshit. Now she spreads it.

    This cunt is an OBE. I don’t fucking get it. What the fuck has this old crotch cannibal ever done that merits recognition from the Crown?


  10. Am on a 12 hour shift with the bitch who gave me an unqualified bollocking the other day.My boss even hinted I should tell her to fuck off. I have fuck loads more support than she has and was even told I was too polite the other day.Polite yes but to a limit.She has exceeded that limit so Iwill not hesitate to be not so polite.

    • Unfortunately politeness is now often taken advantage of, usually by nasty cunts who have absolutely no fucking manners at all.

    • Now now Shaun. Remember good manners never go out of style. With that in mind allow me to make a suggestion.

      The next time she walks up to you and starts giving you shit. Listen politely. Then, lift your nose in the air…take a couple of sniffs…turn to the nearest co worker and say…”I’m sorry to bother you…but do you smell cunt?”


  11. I don’t know owt about Claire Balding other than her late Dad was a hoss trainer.

    I certainly didn’t realise she is a bean flicker.

    But now that you mention it…

  12. Cunt ruins a fucking dog show every year, couple of weeks from now. Had wished she got taken into custody while on Olympic duties.

  13. I’d rather see her with a cavalier, a Vauxhall Cavalier going about 70 mph down the road and her not having managed to cross quickly enough.

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