I would like to nominate the Advertising Standards Agency for a cunting.

It’s Xmas and every year in the Northeast we have adverts for DVDs of “The Little Waster” Bobby Thompson.

Most folk outside of the Northeast will have no idea who Bobby Thompson is but in these parts he is a local comedy legend.

Thompson died in 1988 (so nearly 30yrs ago now), never swore in his act, never made a racist slur and his comedy was purely observational of the region, focusing a lot of time on the war years (again observational as to how folk managed and got on during those dark times that would melt the snowflakes of today).

So why have they banned Bobby’s DVD (and I used to listen to this bloke as a kid – because everyone in the family could listen to him)?

Because he smoked on stage (when it was permitted back in the 80’s). Actually he didn’t smoke on stage, he used to have a fag on the go throughout his act but you never saw him take a drag off it.

Not only that, the DVD promoters had the cigarette digitally removed for the adverts but even that was not good enough the Advertising Standards Stasi because they said you could still see “the odd wisp of smoke!”

But the cherry on the cunting cake is the ASA’s list of reasons as to why they’re banning the ad (with the ‘wisp’ of smoke), it…

– Could offend women.

– Upset the recently bereaved, and,

– Encourage heavy drinking.

WTF!?! My Mam and Nan loved listening to “The Little Waster” so the first reason is pure shite – unless of course they mean offense to blokes claiming to be women or bean flickers or snowflakes who can’t cope with the thought of there having ever been a war??

I’d love the ASA to explain what the fuck they mean by the second reason?

And as for the 3rd reason, it’s Christmas for fuck’s sake! As much as you’d like to have it replaced with some tea-total “peaceful” celebration or another, it is still a Christian holiday. Albeit a purile, commercialised cunt of a holiday but Christian nonetheless, and as Christians we are allowed to drink fally-down water, generally do drink to excess, and no DVD would have any impact on that whatsoever!

Yet another example of officious cunts trying to eradicate any form of indigenous heritage which is seen as bad now in all neo-liberal sectors of society!

No doubt the ABBC’s comedy DVD “Nadia’s You’ve Been Beheaded!” will fly off the shelves with the ASA’s full blessing!

Cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

The Internet is a fucking cunt! You try to find some information, or some stupid shit that needs to be done, in this case lets say a science paper. But all you can find from the internet is a bunch smart arsed pricks writing overly complicated, cunty, fucked up shit that makes no sense whatsoever, that is useful to fucking no one! The internet is a fucking lie! A useless tool that is hailed as the greatest encyclopedia of all time, that is fit enough to replace actual teaching, even though it fails to answer even the simplest of questions and queries. Fuck. This. Shit.

Nominated by Jeff McJefferson

I would like to nominate Lloyds (The Cancer) Bank for a cunting.

I hold no religion but I do remember the odd story thrust upon me by our R.E. teacher. One story that struck a chord with me (in that I understood it’s meaning immediately as a kid) was that of the Poor Widow’s Offering.

This is the tale where after prayers in the synagogue the rich made a big show of their offering and how generous they were, while a poor beggar woman quietly (almost embarrassed by her poverty) places two small copper coins in the collection box and quietly walks away.

Jesus identifies that the woman’s offering was a far greater gift because while the rich’s offerings were greater in value, hers was greater on spirit because that amount meant nothing to them but her amount meant everything to her because it was all that she had.

The moral of the story being, whatever your gift, no matter how big or small, don’t make a song and dance about it because it doesn’t cut any mustard in heaven and it makes you a cunt on earth!

So why Lloyds Bank? Well at the same time we’re being virtue signalled to death with “right-on” and “inclusive” store/department ads, Lloyds have started an ad campaign extolling their MacMillan cancer training and being the bank that “understands” when you’ve been given the great news that you have the Big ‘C’ and there’s fuck all anyone can do.

I think it’s great that Lloyds have taken on training on how to deal and communicate with sufferers and their families in that most difficult of times but the reason why they are cunts is the flagrant promotion/advertising of how “caring” they are in order to win a few fucked-in-the-head notion of brownie points!?!

Do they think people sit there and think: “Ooh, I might get cancer. Better join Lloyds Bank just in case!?!”

All they needed was Sinatra singing the opening lines of My Way (“And now, the end is near…”) in their ad to put a cunt cherry on the top!

I would imagine that most of the good folk of IsAC have been touched in some shape or form by the Big ‘C’, whether personally, a family member, or friend, and to cash in on that anxiety as the “bank that cares about your cancer” is not only distasteful it’s an absolute disgrace!

“Regrets, I have a few…” – yes that Lloyds wasn’t allowed to fold by HM Govt when they had the chance!

Fucking cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a cunt!

I’m making this emergency cunting for this “Grenfell selfishness” involving victims and family of the Grenfell Tower tragedy and those facilitating this debacle.

The money falling off the money tree into this fast flowing river is ridiculous, much of it is unjustified and doesn’t help the situation or those involved.

The taxpayers seem to have landed this bill as I haven’t heard of one single insurance company having paid out. Anyone else?

Those in hotels are paying for nothing, no cooking, no dishes, housework, laundry etc etc because they won’t accept other accommodation and NOT that they haven’t been offered it.

Benefits still being paid despite compo payments taking savings above thresholds.

Free funerals & family travel accommodation costs met.

They gather daily in numbers and are all in contact with each other via phone & flowal media (warned to watch, what they say on line by their friendiee sources) “ganging up” against the local authorities at every opportunity.

The couple who lost “their uncle” stated after the memorial that they are “all getting to know each other really well and are like one big family now”.

There are some now expecting two homes where they previously lived in one, allegedly to make it easier for the local authorities to get them homes? Yeah right!

If one family reject a home, all the others know about it before the authority even get to chap another door to offer it to them.

Many are suffering understandable stress & trauma, which I express full honest sympathy with those residents who lost family and escaped themselves that night. I would never want to see that building again and would happily relocate away in order to do this.

The money from the government and the continued and escalating payments from charities collected and redistributed by the Red Cross coming in would easily enable this.

However this cuts the future flow of further compo. No more stress money for having to see / stay next to the tower. They will have to pay rent again when homed.

Some expect cash payments to “organise and pay their own” mental health counselling.

Some even expect a free home for life and the housing benefit paid “for what the government has done to them”. What the actual fuck?

The government didn’t do anything other than stupidly start offering money to meet costs that home insurance, landlords insurance or business liability insurances should have met. Now the government have started, they can’t help themselves. They are so busy chasing their arises over brexit that they can’t / dont want to see the rising costs involved here.

The insurance companies get a good old government back scratching and are pissing themselves, not paying out a coin and instead met at our expense.

What’s boiling my piss even more is those cunts from surrounding homes or even further away trying it on with success, jumping on this gravy train when unaffected other than the horrible view out their windows.

Victims families from out with the area / country are also being “put up while they wait for news”?

What news do they expect?, no more good news left, they want to hang around (off work with stress) likely right up until the last enquiry is complete. Why aren’t they returning home and grieving away from the situation that feeds their emotions and anger, maybe trying to get some normality in their lives restored?

The piss taking has to stop. I got offered a council flat in what was termed locally ” Gaza strip” which I refused. I then got offered another flat that was pretty shit, however I was told if I refused, I would be offered a different flat back at “Gaza” which if I refused would send me to bottom of housing list again.

I took the pretty shit flat and put in hard work, time and money i worked hard for, and eventually made it a nice home for me and girlfriend.

Twenty five years on, people are entitled to everything.

Yet I worked since left school never unemployed. I’m fighting DWP sanctions regularly for a poxy £72 a week due to an industrial accident which I’m off work unpaid, awaiting surgery.

I get sanctioned, accused of not going to medicals they didn’t ask me to attend, eleven weeks later they refund it and actually ask me to a medical which I attend. Two weeks later another sanction as some “nurse” reported back I’m fit as a fiddle. I object to the report full of lies & shit and now twelve weeks on awaiting a decision.

I wish I had stayed in Grenfell, not sitting here freezing, cunting to get a heat from inner rage, having to worry about Christmas or how I’m going to pay my gas bill in New Year. I’ve had a shit twenty months mainly due to the NHS waiting lists and shit from DWP every letter filled with joy!

DWP’s mates at HMRC join in kicking me while im down, expecting me to conjur up payment for a 2015 bill for £600 due to employer error when cunty DWP not paid me a penny for about 14 weeks now.

Government, DWP, HMRC & NHS have robbed me of two years of my life. I paid my end of contract with contributions on £3.5k earnings a month for last 20 years. Now I need & get fuck all but grief my medicated brain could do without.

Thank god for MasterCard or we would be homeless, not in a hotel getting wined & dined… HOMELESS!

Sellfish Grenfellians get it handed on a plate but it will never be enough. A working citizen fights for a slap in the face.

Sorry all, I’ve heard enough of it…i

Nominated by Basement Bob