An emergency pre-emptive cunting for all the inevitable media coverage of the impending Royal Wedding bullshit – the endless fucking documentaries about the pair of them, the endless tabloid headlines gormlessly incorporating the phrase “A Right Royal”, the endless “What would Diana have thought?” opinion pieces by professional Royal rentagobs, and the endless quantities of wedding-themed tat which looks like it’s been designed specifically to adorn pikey caravans. How about a commemorative gold coin too? Yours for £99.99 and legal tender in Guernsey (worth a fiver). And wall-to-wall Nicholas Fucking Witchell too, intoning his pompous commentaries – “Invited they were, and come they did” – as though it’s the fucking death of Churchill and not simply the spare heir getting hitched to some yankee actress. The only people to benefit from this announcement are Theresa May and her shit show of cunts fucking up Brexit as the media lens won’t now be focused on their excruciating cuntitude on an hourly basis. I’m struggling to think of any positives about this – possibly the opportunity to see that hefty porcine daughter of Prince Andrew making “A Right Royal” cunt of herself in another of those daft hats?
Nominated by Fred West
Clareynce Arse has just announced that Prince Hairy is to marry Miss Marple-Merkel.
What a pair of twats. Months of arse-licking ahead from Al-Beeb’s specially-trained squadron of royal obsequials… Projectile vomiting seriously on the cards (and the ceiling, walls, and carpet…).
Victoria Derbyshire going stupidly gooey over the no-news this morning. Stlly cunt.
Sarah Lancashire is much,much hotter…
Nominated by HBelindaHubbard
I’m indifferent to the royals but what boils my piss is the news and the media wanking furiously over such things. ITV have just had an emergency news bulletin to confirm the Clarence House announcement.
A disgusting use of the news, imo. What the fuck is so urgently newsworthy about a ginger marrying a mulatto that warrants such a bulletin?
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back
I nominate the engagement of that talentless Spam social climber Meghan fucking Markle and The Ginger Spawn of Hewitt (alleged ;)) for a cunting of Imperial magnitude. In fact, while we’re on topic here, can we also tar, feather and cunt the puppet mainstream media, for their sycophantic, relentless coverage of said ‘news’? If I have to endure one more gratuitous, simpering mention of this none event by simple Twatter mongs, the sheeple or grinning idiot, fuckwit presenters my TV is getting booted in! The force feeding has saturated the internet and snowflake media like the colossal load of ejaculate it actually is. There is no escape.
The favourable publicity brainwashing drive of The Establishment is in full force. Idiots getting all wild eyed, over stimulated and sentimental over the aristocracy and celebs, who in reality wouldn’t piss on these ‘plebs’ if they were on fire. This is after all, yet another exclusive event by and for the elitist ‘haves’, which will be paid for by their ‘have not’ subjects. The way the bovine, OK magazine addicted, bottom feeding morons were slavering about how ‘Diana would be sooo proud and approve’ is galling and sickening. These unthinking, Royal and celeb cunt struck, bum felchers were going on as if they were going to get invites as members of the family. Fucks sake, they HATE you all and think you are contemptible, tax paying, Civil List topping up CUNTS! Fucking wake up, realise this is of no benefit to the working or middle class and ask the real question: How much is this going to cost?
That smug silver spooned, entitled bastard, Media Whore Markle and their inbred posh cunt toadies are literally laughing all the way to the bank. Needless to say, this cunt will be booking a trip to darkest Peru ?? on the lead up to and actual, inevitable wedding. It’s the only way to escape the shitstorm.
Nominated by See You Next Tuesday
”What would Diana think?”
Who gives a toss? She’s been dead over 20 years now, for fucks sake I wish people would let it go with Diana! We all know how abysmal ol’ Big Ears was to her, but she was no saint in her later years either.
12
Lady Died was a ‘Sloaney’ who hooked up with Charlie for attention, fame, and status… Friends recall her boasting that she was ‘going to marry the Prince of Wales’ like a hunter bagging their trophy… So whatever she got off Charlie, she deserved…
12
Ehh, her ultimate mistake was shacking up with a peaceful…….
16
That’s why she was wasted in that Paris Tunnel, the royal parasites can’t have a muzzie in the family
6
Or the mother a future King being with a peaceful.
Using the paparazzi as the scapegoat was a deliberately ironic touch.
7
That’s what I meant, she had a bellyful of muzzie arms and legs, Dodi put her up the duff
6
Just thought of another bonus: it puts the Daily Mail in a dilemma. On the one hand they’ll want to stoke up their idea of flag-waving, Royalty-celebrating patriotism (not that patriotism mattered much when the Mail was publishing pro-Nazi editorials in the late 1930s), but on the other hand will the Mail really be able to convincingly enthuse about a mixed race member of the British Royal Family…? I’ll get the popcorn.
10
Oh, the Fail will try, they will deliver the empty platitudes that. all the media do.
3
It gets even better for the Mail – Prince Harry’s fiancée has been on several anti-Brexit marches in London, tweeting from them her support for the EU.
Mixed race AND a Remainer – can’t wait to see how Dacre deals with this!
10
A Remainer…… of course she is…..
I could care less about the whole mixed race thing (given I’m mixed raced too) but the whole anti-Brexit thing…… that’s annoying.
7
In that case Fred. fuck the bitch !
4
Wasn’t she one of Weinstein’s slags? Same difference either way.
5
@Prime Minister Sinister, I thought I was the only non full whitey here. That was until I found out Dick Fiddler is Black, Dioclese is a Rasta…
9
Ahhh, B&W, you’re still more bleck than I am I suspect, I’m not 50/50.
2
And Chas C is actually Snoop Dog.
6
I don’t think anyone gives a fuck about the mixed race business, no matter how much the press are making of it. They look like any couple from any advert made in the last couple of years.
10
I am,according to several foul slurs perpetrated on this site, apparently a gay,scotch,snowflake black man with a penchant for dog molestation.
Be warned. I am keeping a record of this foul calumny. The name “Fiddler” is not unknown in legal circles,and it’ll be nice to be on the right side of the dock for once.
12
She’s a fucking Septic and, as such, should keep her pointy nose out of the UK ‘s business. Come to think of it, what’s her immigration status?
7
Bad show Fred, Harry has disappointed me shacking up with a woman of mixed race from the Colonies . It simply won’t do old boy.
5
Never mind the Mail. The BBC (avidly watched by the middle-middle-middle class, snowflake, parents-to-trangender-kids, scared-of-their-own-shadow, most-important-thing-in-the-world-is-Strictly, despicable, walking dead, Michael McIntyre-loving suburban cunt brigade) is having multiple orgasms because she’s mixed race.
I didn’t even know she was (mainly cos I don’t give a fuck about the whole story) but the “colourblind”, diversity-loving BBC brought it to everyone’s attention. What an unbelievably monumentally cuntish organisation. If only there was a stronger word I could use.
8
America will now claim a new take on royalty. The rights to the movie will already be under discussion, and a new line in Royal Gollimania will rake in the millions.
2
They’ll be eating fried chicken at the reception.
8
And Boris Johnson will be there, serving the thick wedges of watermelon…
8
I’m sure there’s a double entendre there Fred.
4
And lots of uncle Tom’s sucking up to the Royals now. Aaaaa men .
4
As he has no royal blood this will be the first non-royal royal wedding!
13
Reckon the Cad will be in attendance then?
6
That’s a myth. She wasn’t shagging him till much later. Added to which, Diana’s side of the family had some ginger genes. Her sisters’ sons look very like Harry.
4
Rrrgghh, that’s right, I forgot she apparently didn’t start shagging him until 1986, two years after Harry was born.
1
I guy I knew had Hewitt as a commanding officer, and he said the twat used to collect his hair after having it cut at a barbers, just in case someone got hold of it, and had it DNA tested. What a cunt, perpetuating his own myth.
5
So it was incest!
3
Brilliant angle from the Daily Mash:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/harry-asks-meghan-if-shed-like-to-be-the-subject-of-future-documentaries-about-what-really-happened-to-her-20171127139849
4
I lived in Vienna for two years, but I have an alibi.
Oh yes I do.
3
It means nothing to me…
3
What’s the bet Obama will be there? The cunt.
6
I wish Obummer would do what most ex-presidents usually do and just go away….. the useless bastard.
7
If Harry can get a decent bit in the filly’s mouth and exert some control then it might work in Blighty’s favour. A wave of pro Royalist gush might temporarily come over the Yank press and silence the anti Brexit hysteria in The New York Times and Time Magazine ect ect. We shall see.
6
Don’t count on it Sir Limply, the yanks loving running their gobs about things they don’t have any understanding of.
6
Love it, Sir Limply Stoke. Although I caught her on TV saying she’s a feminist and all that bollocks so I think Harry might be ironing and washing the dishes.
7
God, I wish they would give that feminist crap a rest, it’s gone far too overboard now.
6
She’s about as ‘feminist’ as Jim Davidson… The media cunts are labeling her as such because she made a stupid comment about Big Don on some crappy Comedy Central show… The daft cow said something like she’s voting for Hilary not just because she’s a woman, but because she doesn’t like Trump… Harry’s tart is just another American bimbo who thinks she is a political animal with something to say… When – just like Perry, Miley, Gaga, Johansson etc – she has about as much intelligence as pig swill…
5
How about a huge cunting for Jezza. How dare he refer to HRH as “Harry. ” Show some fucking respect you trecherous Republican Monarchy hating scum cunt. He went on about HRH The Prince Harry does a lot for mental health. Well do something for minw: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UTTER WANK PUFFIN BUNGLE CUNT.
9
Krav, you should know by now that Corbyn is a weapons grade cunt with contempt for this country.
Honestly, the man deserves to be sleeping with Diego Maradonna.
6
Lovk hom in a phone box with Katie Price and her window licking mong sprog.
5
The whole thing fills me with dread. The total shitfest of dribbling, sycophantic cuntitude has already started. It’s almost enough to make me want to give up and jump into the road to be killed by an electric car driven by some cunt with a man-bun doing the school run.
10
Oh for fucks sake shes a Catholic as well interesting to see if the Duke of Kent 33Degree is a happy bunny wae that !!!
5
Prince Harry is to replace the Duke of Kent as Grandmaster of the craft so it doesn’t matter what the old cunt thinks.
3
Of course, it’s the taxpayers’ lot in life to get fucked over every which way.
4
Do the C of E marry divorcees nowadays? Just wondering…
5
They would marry you if you were a transgender Wallaby, no problem
I think all that matters now is that your not brother and sister but I am sure that will be discussed at the next synod. Heads up for a wonderful royal fuckfest with attendent media arseliking and brown nosing; jolly good fun what! Fuck me sideways the darkness is beckoning. The wife’s locked up me pills and booze; rationed until this wankery is over.
1
She’s probably already up the duff. Don’t coons normally “jump the broomstick” when they get wed?That should get old Phil the Greek’s blood pumping, particularly when the new in-laws start swinging from the gargoyles at St.Pauls.The ginger half-blood prince wont be so happy when she beefs up. Most black women seem to put on weight as soon as they’ve dropped a couple of kids. They mostly end up looking like that housekeeper from “Gone with the Wind” or the cook from Tom and Jerry.
I wont be sending a present directly,the fact that I’m forced,through taxation,to contribute to their indolent lifestyle will have to suffice. I hope that they fuck off to Rhodesia just in time to be cannibalised by her starving distant relatives. They could try shrinking his head,at least there won’t be much brain to remove.
Fuck them.
17
Funny as fuck Dick Fiddler, that. Had me laughing.
8
I don’t give a shit what colour his hair is or what colour her skin is. What bothers me is that when she starts churning her ‘royal’ kids out, even though they’re stinking rich, it’s us who’ll have to foot the bill. This country’s already full of parasites who expect other people to fund their breeding programme.
7
To be fair to the chap, Harry is a dumb cunt and in the throes orf fantasy love has yet to contemplate the years orf black arse vastness that lie ahead orf him.
7
So who’s the Daddy ????
http://yournewswire.com/new-play-suggests-that-prince-harry-was-fathered-by-james-hewitt/
2
We can only hope that the peacefuls pull off the big one and detonate a massive great bomb right in the middle of the whole fucking cuntfest.
Come on Abdul, get your finger out, those virgins won’t wait for ever . Cunts.
5
Couldn’t agree more. I don’t see how they aren’t targeted more often tbh. Those inbred Nazi cunts aren’t worth the shit off anyone’s shoe yet millions of sheep worship them, it’s utterly retarded.
4
Oh JC, yes… Fergie’s gels at the races !
One wearing a hat that looked as if it was a copy of an IUD, made out of surgical-pink foam rubber.
Sadly, contraception / abortion of the walking foetus was too late at that stage…
2
Can’t say I’m that bothered by the royal news today. I guess we’re all supposed to look beyond the childish antics of the ginger twat. His bird is pretty for sure, but I read somewhere she’s been an outspoken critic of Trump. Well how fucking original. For that alone, she can fuck right off.
5
And of course the last time a royal married an American divorcé it all worked out so well…
10
In a way, yes…
Because they fucked orf to France.
5
Number 10 has kyboshed the idea of a Bank Holiday for the wedding, hope it fucking pisses it down now.
3
No big surprise there. I remember turning up for work on the Monday after the People’s Princess was executed in the back of that ambulance. All the blokes were making jokes about the scrubber and speculating about getting a day off for the funeral. Meanwhile all the fucking women were wailing and weeping and hugging each other. They may as well have sent the brainless cows home there and then because they got progressively more hysterical as the week wore on. Of course we were fucking fuming when the cunts announced the funeral was on the Saturday. I’m still brooding about it today. Those cunts wouldn’t give you the scrapings off their used toilet paper.
4
I remember it all too clearly,Freddie. All the pubs were closed for the day and they cancelled the racing….Utter Cunts.
1
@Dick Fiddler
What about dem Campdown Races?
2
Yep, work another day and wreck my feet so badly that when I get home I move around with less grace and mobility than an 85 year old……. I hope it rains too.
2
Any holiday related to Royal non-events would be welcome…
A day of enforced idleness…
1
Someone shoot that fucking pompous, self-appointed ‘funnyman’ (poncebag) Bradby. His fucking ITV news programme tonight is dedicated to Harry Hewitt and his climbing ‘rice, pea and chiggun’ fiancee.
Bradby is clearly beginning to inveigle himself in the proceedings. Hoping to become Sir Tom. You can see it so clearly. What a whopping great cunt.
4
It really was infuriating….took all my willpower not to put my foot through the TV
2
Couldn’t agree more, Paul. Bradby was cunted a few weeks back and clearly he’s hungry for some more. I too caught his opening tonight: “It’s as if the couple know Britain needs a lift”.
Some fucking clipboard-clutching cunt behind the scenes at ITV needs to pull that utter fucking tosspot aside and remind the sneering winnet that he is paid to READ the fucking news, not give his opinion on it, as he almost always does on Brexit-related reports.
Bradby is truly a wankstain on life’s rich tapestry. And his cuntitude is rapidly going biblical – foretold in Corinthians and predicted by Nostradamus, I believe.
5
My cup truly runneth over with indifference. If David Icke is correct, then there’s fuck all we can do about these mooching lizards anyway.
However, what really leaves me in despair is the oncoming tsunami of sycophantic media coverage, 24/7, weeks and months of wall to wall trival mindlessness, all seemingly for the benefit of cunts with IQs of under 80 or the wilfully fawning.
What a steaming pile of utter cuntage.
Now where did I put that sawn off shotgun? Oh, silly me – had it in me mouth all along!
11
“However, what really leaves me in despair is the oncoming tsunami of sycophantic media coverage, 24/7, weeks and months of wall to wall trival mindlessness, all seemingly for the benefit of cunts with IQs of under 80 or the wilfully fawning.”
This is it. This is what fills me with such an unspeakable fucking dread. I truly do not give a continental fuck about the intricate details of details of when Harry met Shitcunt-libmong-Instacunt; what drives me to the brink of a strait-jacket measure-up is the endless slew of news reports and analysis on the bastards which we will have to wade through; amplified by the double-cunt of being an actress and ‘Murican.
Why couldn’t the carrot-topped cunt just married nice little uninteresting Chelsea Davy, or any of the other Jemimahs and Jocelyns from the limitless upper class supply. There would be so much less for the scavenging journos to report. But here we are, with the newscunt massive representing from 28 districts LIVE every hour – on the hour – giving us every conceivable angle on this union of holy cuntrimony. I had to turn off the news at ten tonight once prospective guests were under speculation, including grunting manbeast Beyonce-esque self-important shitcunt of tennis, Serena ‘hide me in the panic room’ Williams (just Google it). It’s only day one and, without any interest at all in the pair, I already know far more about this whole affair than I need. Four months or so of this yet to come.
Hopefully Santa will deliver that drop-in appointment to fucking Dignitas for Christmas (which in truth I’ve been asking for ever since Diane Aboot-lipped became a shadow minister), because I can’t handle any more of this raw sewage being blasted at me directly from the TV screen.
10
Some consolation may be afforded by watching the decay of this beautiful partnership, as Miss Whatsherface discovers that far from having trapped a far less worldly-wise ingénu and obtained a meal ticket thereby, she has lashed herself to a bunch of survivors from the Middle Ages who will from now on control every aspect of her existence, including her ovaries. And that’s just the Palace staff.
3
Yeah, I’ll give it 2 years tops before the trial sepperation and enevitable divorce.
4
Eloquently cunted sir!
1
Agree with you wholeheartedly.
Originally penned a more comprehensive response, but it disappeared into the cunting ether once I submitted. Holy fuck and pickles.
3
Restored…….
2
“Union of holy cuntrimony…” Cheers TECB, brilliant start to the day! Unlike Ferrari on LBC, Mills & Boon For Wedding Bell Cretins…
Oh wait a minute, some report has suggested a Corbyn government would be even worse for Britain than Brexit!
You don’t say…
3
Personally I couldn’t give a fuck if Harry married a corgi!!
The whole royal shitfest is thoroughly annoying , the only thing worse is all the sycophantic toady Cunts looking for a knighthood……
It’s a barrel of utter shite!
8
Queen of Hearts….Queen of Spades…who gives a fuck.
I give it five years…tops.
5
5 JRC ? I think your being extremely generous!!
As the annoying cunt Gaylord on SCD would say “ for me it’s a 3”
2
Looking at her, i think she is the queen of The Cock
3
We always call them the Pandas. They’re relatively uncommon, quaint in appearance, completely unproductive, very expensive to keep and apparently indifferent to the inevitability of natural selection. And everyone sits around waiting for them to breed.
5
The only thing that engages any interest in the Henry person is that not only does he look completely unlike his alleged father, or indeed any member of that family other than a juvenile Henry VIII, he bears no resemblance that I can see to his alleged mother. Changeling? We really need to have an authentication procedure for these overfecund overprivileged cunts.
Here’s a real pissboiler for you to enjoy –
http://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/shelagh-fogarty/gurmpy-royal-wedding-shelagh-fogarty-message/
“if you intend to be grumpy about this wedding stay out of my way.”
Staying out of your way would be favourite on any and all occasions, you sloppy, steatopygically-challenged, she-mammoth cunt….
3
Is she related to Michelle McManus?
Just she has the same look about her like her head is enlarging while slowly consuming her mouth. It continually looks smaller and smaller.
0
I can picture Prince Phillip cleaning up his brake line cutting shears as we speak.
7
Half-Blood Prince marries Half-Caste Woman.
6
‘Ms Markle, a protestant, will be baptised and confirmed before the wedding’, the palace added…
And probably sterilised too…
1
Wonder if – in their old age – Liz or Phil will say to Markle, ‘Girl! Fetch some tea! Jeldi!?
Some cunts call it ‘progress’ and ‘diversity’ (that old bollocks again)… But the idea of Harry’s father marrying someone from below stairs or a native would have been unthinkable…
Mind you, Charliie did have to put up with attention hoover, Lady Di… So the man has suffered…
1