It’s BBC Apprentice 2017. How a year has flown by since the business equivalent of Britain’s got NO talent reappears on our screens. The best young business entrepreneurs Britain has to offer for a 13th year running. I hear the Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Germans, Americans….OK, the whole fucking world, shitting their pants, as UK plc unleashes these titans of business acumen against them.
Fronted by east end wide boy Sir Alan – Lord Sugar, a man with a bad dose of titulitis. I do so wish one of the apprentices has the balls to call him “Al” or “mate” and watch him go apoplectic or just to call him ‘Sir Alan’ instead of ‘Lord Sugar’.
The king of the one liner, has some ‘great’ new material such as “Forget Brexit…Here, I’m the one who decides who remains and who leaves.” Such quality, perhaps he picked that out of Sir Brucie’s suit pocket from his grave.
This year’s line up of 18 apprentices are a veritable smorgasbord of British society. A posh ‘Tory Boy’ as he’s known, who worked for ‘Call me Dave’. A double barrelled named woman, a few other whiteys, probably Northern and Southern wideboys, a generous spattering of superwimmin, an Alan Carr/Graham Norton look-a-like, a black woman, two peacefuls, and a Chinese dude.
The BBC having duly ticked all the diversity boxes stuffed a cherry on top with one of the peacefuls being a hijab clad woman who describes herself as an ‘ independent woman’. Go there BBC, liberty, equality and freedom for the peaceful sisterhood. Next year can we expect a black sheet and matching pillowcase peaceful sister demonstrating her freedom of expression and independence?
Any bets on who will win?
I will go for the Chinese bloke if it’s purely based on who is hardest working and best in business, although if he hasn’t already made his first billion on his own, then he may just be a token entry. Otherwise, the hijab wearing peaceful looks promising…..as I seem to vaguely remember one of those winning a competition on the BBC before…..although I maybe wrong…. because they never gave her much publicity afterwards.
Nominated by Mike Oxard.
Just looked at the picture at the top of the page. Looks more like the cast of Deliverance.
Cue purty mouthed, piggy squealing bum love and duelling banjos.
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I only wear brown. And desert boots at that. No matter where I go.
“rock on tommy” 🙂
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In my first job I was expected to wear a suit. Turned up in a sports jacket one day and was warned for being inappropriately dressed. Try that on the snowflake generation…
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You’d be warned for not wearing a skirt nowadays Dio. And sent for counselling.
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Alan Sugar’s a megacunt.
How someone hasn’t jumped up and down on his head before now is beyond me.
I’ve never watched The Apprentice..Sugar is far too annoying. Cunt.
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It always makes me cringe how these grovelling apprentices are prepared to take Alan Sugar’s schlong as far down their throats as possible quite literally. And as for that thick as shit Michelle Dewbury if I was interviewing her I would make it very clear, it’s blow job or no job
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The cunts use every cliché going, alpha males, they are going to ‘smash’ every task and some even refer to themselves as brands. Eh? Cunts.
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I can’t understand why this knacker faced cunt is still considered successful. Wasn’t he the head of Amstrad, manufacturer of shit electronic equipment? I used to have an amstrad four track, and everything I recorded on it has a loud hum in the background. It was a load of shit. I think the last piece of junk they tried to flog was the internet phone, a landline that could send emails. This was just when smart phones were coming out, so it was a non starter. I would no sooner call the cunt sir, than eat a broken lightbulb sandwich.
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Amstrad (Allan Michael Sugar Trading see) still has the barrow boy mentality it started with. Started orf I seem to recall with dodgy ghetto blasters then went in to dodgy computers then in to dodgy property and then back to dodgy general trading. Spot the common theme? It’s gotta be dodgy. Also made the Sky Box until there was a falling oit. That was dodgy too.
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Tat peddling cunt, I bet he had a lock up at one point, like some low rent Arthur Daley.
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Still got the lock up. Where do you think the arse faced cunt keeps his unsold emailers?
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Jesus wept. In what realm can this website exist without a single entry for Al-BBC political correspondent Laura Kuenssberg? Putting aside the very real possibility that I myself am a monumental cunt who is unable to properly negotiate the complex procedure of using the search button, please allow me to correct this major oversight.
If I was feeling tired and not up to the job, I’d stop at calling her face the visual encyclopedic definition of Sour Trout. I’d perhaps call the slant-jawed cunt a post-op Douglas Carswell. I could give a succinct yet visceral one-liner about how she looks like a woman with a vagina that smells of fermented tuna. I could even stop at merely calling her a smug, self-satisfied cunt.
No Laura. You aren’t getting off that easily I’m afraid.
Her predecessors, human-sized stool samples like Robert Peston, Andrew Marr and Nick Robinson all brought the level of cuntitude one would expect to the role of dramatising the boring world of Whitehall; infested with dull suits, doublespeak and empty promises. But Kuntssberg takes this to volume fucking 11 – the trademark sneer, the endless namesdropping of ‘her sources’ close to whoever is of momentary press importance, and most cuntly of all, the obvious look of joy on the face of a cunt who actually wants to BE the news as much as she reports on it. You can tell this abomination is a coffee-fuelled, brown-nosing shitstain who scours Twitter during any spare moment when her wonky fucking gob isn’t chattering away on the Al-BBC News or the Daily Bollocktics, desperate for that ‘angle’ that only a cunt like her can revel in regaling. She’s the fucking journalistic equivalent of a 3rd place finishing Apprentice contestant; the soulless talentless cunt you just want to forget but who just keeps whoring themselves around the fucking airwaves.
Her performance in the general election warranted a severe cunting; presumably being out-cunted by many of the politicians at the time. Practically door-stepping Treeza on the morning after the result, as much as May is a cunt herself, summed up Kuntssberg’s shouty-cunty approach to political journalism.
I read that the cunt now needs to he escorted everywhere by bouncers, such is the notoriety her cuntitude has afforded her. All spun of course by her employers as the ‘misogynistic abuse of women in TV’ or something – no, it’s because Laura Kuenssberg packs more cunt to the ounce than most people exude in their entire lifetime.
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Could not agree more on your opinion of Cuntsberg. The mirth in this one’s voice when she can take a shit on Brexit (or any other democratic decision which isn’t of the right-on brainwashing of the ABBC) is like she’s saying “Ho! Ho! Ho!” on Xmas Eve!
She also followed the US Election Campaign when the Don got elected. To say she was metaphorically flicking Killary’s bean is an understatement, there was quite clearly a bit of metaphorical rimming in there too!
Some of the best moments on TV is when this one’s unbiased (HAH!) observations are shat on! The doss cunt (sberg)!
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No, Kunttsberg would be a cunting virgin on here. If you Google the name of the possibly cunted individual followed by “is a cunt”, the search quite reliably brings up previous cuntings on here.
Kunttsberg is a wonky mandibled wipe of the undercarriage and I am happy to join you in your well observed cunting campaign.
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Slanty mouthed little slut-bitch. Got nice pins though. Haven’t seen the tits, so not really qualified to comment in that department. Would guess they’re real however.
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TECB simply outstanding. A booker prize worthy cunting.
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It’s late. I’ve just spent the neck end of 7hrs trying to get home. And I’m rewarded with a picture of this shower of shite!
I have never watched the apprentice ever and this bunch of cunts looks like a row of hooray Henry’s/Henrietta’s and a bunch of tokens.
I can’t even be arsed to zoom in but I did notice a Hijab in there (and no doubt from a microelectronics and demolitions based business background).
Is there a raspberry in there too?
More ABBC virtue signalling shite.
The only positive that this shitfest has ever provided is that while Katie Hopkins may well have been a cunt whilst on the original show, she has been proven to be anything other than a cunt subsequently – especially when it comes to Brexit and especially the “peaceful” issue (which no other cunt in the meejah or parliament will admit exists).
If only Lord Sugar could say “You’re fired!” with a flamethrower! Vacuous set of pointless cunts!
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As long as said flamethrower backfired and took out bollockchops after he’s torched the snivelling wretches. If Haines brought out a cunt manual, he would be on the cover.
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Emergency cunting request please! Mike Veal chief cunstable trying to desecrate the memory of the late Edward Heath. The man is dead:let him rest in peace you smug,fat,pompous CUNT.
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Whilst I agree it’s a waste of resources and cash chasing historic sex allegations against people who are dead, if it’s going to happen then it should be evenly applied and Heath shouldn’t be exempt just because he’s a former PM…
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Who sold our arses to the fourth reich…
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Agree 100%, no-one should be exempt – including the Queen, Prince Philip, Prime Minister May and Dame Judi Dench. All will no doubt be investigated thoroughly, especially once they’re dead.
But equally we need a police force with the ability to apply common sense, turn on their inbuilt crap detectors, or at least be slightly sceptical when people possibly harbouring so many diverse motives come out of the woodwork with their ‘allegations’.
I understand common sense is no longer very PC, but ffs!
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Never watched it until a few years ago when I tuned in half way through the series missing the cream of the crop.
Imagine my disappointment to find one of the worthy finalist having the great business idea of coloured nylons for women with good suntans who have difficulty getting their legs to look the right colour…..I mean what fucking result would you expect if they choose to wear white or light shades?
Simple wear black or save cash and go bare?
I always thought the Sinclair Spectrum cunt would be more successful than this brillo pad headed Sid James “cuntalike”.
At least Sid James was better at humour than Brillo head and I bet he copped off with more chicks being the dirty bastard that he was.
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