Sir Keir (don’t call me Sir!) Starmer KCB QC MP


This gormless looking turd first came to public notice as Director of Public Prosecutions in bigoted old woman Gordon Brown’s hopeless fag-end New Labour Government back in 2008.

Amongst other duties, the dim fuckwit’s DPP job was to find ways of not charging corrupt politicians caught defrauding the taxpayer by fiddling their expenses.

Furthermore, in 2009 he approved a decision not to prosecute keystone cops over the illegal fatal shooting of Charles de Menezes on the London underground four years earlier. Also (as esteemed mucker TECB kindly reminded me) Sir Kunt then went on to excuse plod Simon Harwood for the blatant manslaughter of Ian Tomlinson in 2010.

For these achievements and more he was appointed in 2014 ‘Knight Commander of the Order of Bath’ (KCB) for “services to law and criminal justice”. You could not make it up.

Sir Kunt has also been hired sporadically (for a small fortune) by law firm Mishcon de Reya, notorious as one of three firms that brought arch Remoaner-mong Gina Miller’s High Court legal challenge, chucking spanners in the Brexit works and costing the taxpayer £millions – just to delay Treesa May invoking Article 50.

He quit doing work for them after being appointed shadow Brexit Secretary by comrade Corbyn in October 2016.

Earlier this year, in answer to an opening question put by Andrew Marr, Sir Kunt – with total irrelevance – couldn’t help but immediately launch into something like (I paraphrase),

“Could I just say…before going any further… that my thoughts, prayers and bleeding heart goes out to the families and friends of [insert victims & calamity of choice here] who I know not from Adam, care even less about, and would run a country fucking mile from spending even 5 seconds with in the same room, blah-blah-virtue-signal-woof-woof.”

Andrew Marr’s reaction? Irritation, judging by the expression on his face.

Despite using his title when it suits, champagne socialist Sir Kunt conveniently dropped the ‘Sir’ during the General Election campaign to promote an illusory ‘ordinary man’ image.

“Address as Mr Starmer,” he advised Commons colleagues and officials.

More recently (together with ‘principled’ comrade Steptoe & numerally challenged Flabbott) he has performed multiple Brexit policy U-turns, most recently calling for Britain to stay in the Single Market and Customs Union for AT LEAST two years AFTER we finally extricate ourselves from the Evil Empire…

last week the useless cretins cynically bent over backwards to undermine Brexit whipping Labour to vote against the European Union (Withdrawal) Bill and bring down the Government. They lost, Brexit may still happen – democracy lives to fight another day.

A festering cunt of the highest KCB order.

Nominated by Shitcake Baker

87 thoughts on “Sir Keir (don’t call me Sir!) Starmer KCB QC MP

  1. Another of the Traitor Brigade. A loon and an irrelevance. Why these toss pots are given space on the media is beyond me. Is he news worthy? No. He’s not. He’s just a silly cunt in the pay of even sillier cunts who are using his skills in deception and fuckwittery.

  2. Rolling Stone are cunts…. All this news about it being sold… Truth is, it’s always been shit… These are the cunts that started snobbery in music… The cunts that started the elitist term ‘rock’ instead of pop…. These twats also bigged up all that coked up west coast hippy shit: cunts like Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell, CSNY, and the dreaded Eagles… In recent years they have scraped the very depths of the barrel: with the likes of Kunty Perry and Miley Shagbag on its cover… And the elitist rag has also become a libmong cheerleader… Disgustingly pro-Kilary and shamelessly licking the arse of every anti-Trump celebricunt… Jann Wenner is also a prize cunt… Another self appointed snobby ‘rock expert’ in the mould of that other massive cunt, Robert Christgau….

    • Oh, we’re big rock singers.
      We got golden fingers.
      And we’re loved everywhere we go.
      We sing about beauty,
      And we sing about truth
      At ten thousand dollars a show.
      We take all kinds of pills
      To give us all kind of thrills,
      But the thrill we’ve never known
      Is the thrill that’ll getcha
      When you get your picture
      On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

      Rolling Stone…
      Wanna see my picture on the cover.
      Stone…
      Wanna buy five copies for my Mother.
      Stone…
      Wanna see my smiling face
      On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

      I got a freaky old lady
      Named Cocaine Katy
      Who embroiders all my jeans.
      Got my poor old grey-haired daddy
      Drivin’ my limousine.
      It’s all designed to blow our minds,
      But our minds won’t really get blown
      Like the blow that’ll getcha
      When you get your picture
      On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

      We gotta lotta little teenage blue-eyed groupies
      Who do anything we say.
      We got a genuine Indian guru
      Who’s teaching us a better way.
      We got all the friends that money can buy,
      So we never have to be alone.
      And we keep getting richer,
      But we can’t get our picture
      On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

      Yeah, that’s beautiful man…

  3. Agree with all of the above, starmer was an absolute disaster as DOPP , amazingly he is tipped by some as a possible future labour leader? A lot of people would laugh at that seeing what an utterly useless backsliding cunt he is ,but don’t laugh too hard look at steptoe!!
    All of a sudden the jokes on us!! 😡😡

  4. Can’t agree about Charles De Menezes. An illegal cunt wearing a back pack, sees police, and runs away two weeks after 7/7. Fucker had it coming.

  5. Must just butt in with a bit of good news from Brighton…….”Transgender woman accidentally hanged herself as she took pictures of her erotic asphyxiation.”
    See, this is why I like the Daily Mailicious,a perfect story to get my day off with a smile and chuckle.

      • We’ve had 3 transgender people stay at our airbnb recovering post-op. In all 3 we couldn’t work out which way they’d gone.

      • I was wondering myself…

        Can you actually refer to a transbender as one or t’other.

        What was the biological starting-point (and the rainbow-flag is down !! Bollox off ??)?

    • I’m waiting for the incident to be reported in THE NOT SO Independent!!
      Woman kills herself over brexit worries……..

      • Apparently Kirsty Blackman SNP MP “lies in bed at night worrying about Brexit…”

        We live in hope.

  6. A “born again Christian” came to my blog and posted an anti-Islam rant on my post about Parsons Green. I didn’t have the heart to point out he worships the same god as the jihadist fucks. And as a “born again” Christian he has signed up for this crap as an adult not a child. I’m assuming no-one who hangs out here is a “born again” anything.

    Still, he did inspire me to write this rant…

    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2017/09/20/mere-atheism/

    If god exists I’m fucked. If Allah exists everyone on this website will be joining me in the Fire (capital fucking F, infidel cunt).

    BTW, I think it was someone on this website who said there was a way to stop Jehovah’s Witnesses coming to your door but I’ve forgotten what they said. Anyone ready to own up or remember the advice? And it was real advice – not spray them with shit or set your pet dog/pigeon/jihadist on them.

    • It’s a useful skill and takes some doing, but cross yourself upside down and recite the Lords Prayer backward and watch the cunts run for the hills.
      It indicates you’re a Satanist and are cursing them.

      Not a lot of people know that…

    • I have an Aleister Crowley mask (with the name on a Post-it note stuck to the forehead in case they don’t recognise him) a long,flowing black cape and a posing pouch which I squeeze into when I see Jehovah’s Witnesses coming up the path. I fling the door open and ask them if they fancy an Alabama Hot Pocket. (I show them a video if they don’t know what that is.) …If they still don’t take the hint,I get my pet Jihadi to spray them with shite.
      I hope this solves your problem.Do let me know how you come on. No need to thank me,just glad to be of service.

      • “Born Again Christian”

        In other words, been a nasty cunt for most of their lives and now terrified in case there actually is a Hell waiting for them.
        Guilt and fear combined into a massive cunt…

    • I mention that they are abusing the child that invariably accompanies them by dragging it round spouting bigotry and superstition. In the child’s hearing. They not only fuck off in a huff. They don’t risk a return visit.

      • Not to mention if they needed a blood transfusion!

        Jehovah Witnesses are the “tight wads” of Christianity. Cunts think nowt of doffing 10% tithe to their church but when Xmas bowls round the kids get fuck all!

        I wouldn’t care, I have no idea where the money goes because every Jehovah church I’ve ever seen (admittedly only 6 or so – but dotted around the country) literally have been like extended wooden shacks or a couple of porta-kabins stuck together!

        If then spend more than £50 quid a year on their upkeep I’d be amazed! There’s a rabbit off somewhere in that set-up! Even the watchtower only has a 2 amp energy saver bulb in it these days!

        —-

        “Dad?”

        “Yes Johnny.”

        “If Jesus was here now, as a child, what do you think he’d be doing today, on Christmas day?”

        “Well Johnny, I imagine he’d spend it spreading good will to all men, helping the poor and passing on much needed words of peace and happiness to all. Is that what you think too son?”

        “Well I don’t know about that Dad, but I reckon he’d be playing the fuck out of Black Ops on his new PS4 like Charlie is next door!”

    • Whats’s the difference between a Trabant and a Jehova’s Witness ?
      You can shut the door on a Trabant.

      Tell them you’re a Father Ted, they really cannot handle all that stuff…

  7. Keir Starmer is indeed a cunt, as is the present DPP, Alison Saunders. Both were too shit to get a job in a normal lawyer’s office (which must take some going) and went for the easy option, public prosecuting. This means that not only are they cunts, they’re useless cunts and their pronouncements make that very plain. Alison Saunders is also a very ugly bastard and has a face like shit moulded by a blind sculptor, then hit with a club after drying. I don’t like either of them and Russell Brand’s a cunt as well, just because he’s not been mentioned recently.

    • Excellent nomination Shitcake.

      He is a supreme cunt of the greatest magnitude and you’re right Quislings he could be leader judgiing by the obvious fuckwittery of Labour members and voters.
      Starmer fits the same slimey mould as Blair and still no one in the Labour Party has told him to fuck off yet.
      On that subject, that fucking cunting cunt Blair was in New York yesterday addressing the UN. What the fuck !!

      • Cheers Ian, though I forgot to mention Kunt, Catweasel & Flabbot’s treacherous little pre election trip abroad to suck Barnier’s balls and assure him they’d be working night and day to see the EU right with their €100billion ‘divorce bill’, or 10 years net worth of payments upfront, whichever is bigger.

        Whaddya say? Bad deal or bad deal?

  8. What the fuck is going on with this latest terrorist thing?

    Days after the attack we are still no wiser to who did it and why they made such a piss poor bomb out of a cheapo supermarket bag.

    It makes my blood boil that if had worked, tens of innocent people would’ve been blown apart on their way to work just for the sake of some silly fairytale story.

    Who are these cunts they’ve arrested? why are they not being deported back to where they came form? what were they doing here in the first place?

    We’re not releasing identities because it’s an “ongoing” investigation….rubbish, you not releasing them because you’re scared of upsetting the peacefuls?

    It’s about time someone in power rounded all the known suspects up and got rid back to the sand blown shit holes they came from. Fuck their human rights, what about the poor fuckers on that tube who nearly had a date with the reaper.

    Cunts, just cunts.

  9. Another thing about Starmer, he wears the slightly bemused expression of a toddler that’s just shit himself.

  10. Anybody else feel let down by Wayne Rooney’s drunk driving?
    I have.

    So much so that I’m gonna put a claim in.
    £100.000 should sort it.

    In this day and age i think I’m in with a chance.

    • Jeezo bambino, just read that Rooney is being fined £320,000 (two weeks wages) by Everton.
      Why?
      The cunt plays for Everton, fair enough, but what does that have to do with his private life that they can take that much off him?
      I don’t care that he can afford it, that’s fuckin robbery.
      Are SKY going to fine Kirsty Gallacher over a quarter of a million? are they fuck.

      I’ve never understood fines, especially when its a number plucked from thin air.
      What will Everton do with this money, give it to the local Muslim drop in centre for trainee jihadis?

      On trains it used to say “no smoking, £50 fine”, and i always wondered why £50? Why not just chuck the cunt that’s smoking off at the next stop?
      I can understand when a fine is used to pay for cleaning vandalism or repairing damage, but to pick a number out of thin air that goes way way above the costs is wrong and only encourages cunts to empty other cunts pockets. Mugging, basically.
      I have been fined a few times for being caught with a personal stash of hash and even though i went to court, I’ve never paid one. And apart from a polis once turning up at my door and i claimed to be my flatmate, i have never had any other cunt come looking for these fines, and truthfully, if they ever did come for it today, i still wouldn’t pay.

      This is not a rant against fines, some cunts do need fined as i said to repair damage, but this picking a cost out of thin air is bollocks.

      There should be a fixed fine system rather than one judge fining me £240 for ten grammes and another judge in the same court fining me £350 for the same size lump.

      Drink driving for me is up there with attempted murder, but Everton are a bunch of thieving cunts.
      Imagine if we got fined by a court, went back to work, and weare called iinto the bosses office to be told we’ve been docked two weeks wages. Millionaire or not, that’s not on.

      • I’ve always thought fines should be based on income. Fining Rooney £170 is fucking pointless. He probably tried not to laugh.
        Now, if they made it 5 million….

      • Totally agree CNR
        It’s like fining joe public a £1.00
        Rooney must be sitting at home
        Laughing his potato head off!!

    • Roony had some bad luck that night , not only got caught drunk driving but didn’t get his leg over with the tart he was escorting home.

      • the £170 was court costs. the magistrate was only allowed to fine Rooney a certain amount, as this wouldnt have any impact at all on him , the magistrate thought community service would be a better option. lets hope he has to wipe old peeps arses.

      • Although I have about as much interest in Rooney as my dogs recently deposited turd in the garden I seriously hope the serial twat gets 100,s of hours of community service doing particularly unpalatable work!!!

  11. Eniola Aluko has managed to get Mark Samson pushed out of the job as England Wimmin football manager. Well done, bet you feel like you have struck a blow for equality and all sorts of other bollocks.

    The other women players were happy enough with him, even the other ethnic minority players. You’ll feel like a winner for a short time but you will always be a cunt.

    • The “racist” card is unbeatable.As soon as Aluko,a qualified lawyer,mentioned racism, Sampson was as good as finished. There is no defence in this day and age.

      • Like the JonJo Selvey incident, in a court of law the allegation would have been thrown out if it made it that far in the first place. But the FA like all public bodies are spineless cunts who cave in to any allegation proven or not.

      • It’s absolutely frightening. Just an accusation of racism and you are fucked. We are terrified when we have ethnics at our airbnb. We don’t treat them any different but just a word and our business would be ruined. It’s not even guilty until you are proved innocent. It’s just guilty.

  12. I’d like to cunt online temperature. Last night me and Lady SB were on the hotel terrace and it was a little chilly. Looked at my phone and the temperature read 24c. Fuck me I thought it’s not that warm. Currently sitting on our balcony enjoying a Monte Cristo and glass of wine, sweating my bollocks off and according to the online temp it’s 26c. Where the fuck Di they get these temperatures from?

  13. Mohammed 8th most popular baby boys name in England and Wales, most popular in London and West Mids. (according to al bbceera)

    Whizzo.

    Happy days cunts.

      • Unlike myself who has been known to utter the occasional profanity, Mrs CnR hardly ever swears but even she couldn’t hold back when I told her about London.

      • All is not lost though, cunters. Out in the country where I work (although not live, unfortunately), the sight of a darkie would be met with the same sort of horrified amazement as if a real live gargoyle had swooped down from the church roof. Only yesterday at work, I heard the delighfully 50’s expression “a touch of the tar brush”!

  14. @Cunt n Roses, i looked into what an “airbnb” is and I’m still none the wiser.
    Thicko i may be.

      • I don’t need any signs. My dogs are horrifically racist. They never trusted the postman again after he came back from his holiday in Rhyll with a bit of a tan. I trained them by stealing their food while wearing an afro wig and bootpolish while shouting “Give de brudder dem chiggun wings”….Worked a treat. I’m currently stealing their food wearing a huge prosthetic nose while rubbing my hands together to teach them to keep an eye out for any wandering jews who might try and steal eggs from the chicken house. I’ve never taught them about muslims…they just naturally hate them, I assume.

      • What if you get any foolish transbenders DF? Just go for the nads and its a 50/50 shot I guess, Britain 2017 who fucking knows.

      • @LL Alas, the poor dogs have been witness to some terrible sights when I’ve been out drinking and tempted some hottie back to Fiddler Towers. Even I’ve been horrified in the the morning,never mind the poor dogs.

      • My dog’s racist too.
        We were on the Isle of Wight in the summer and on two occasions some Parking Stanleys shuffled past and she growled and barked at them.
        At the moment our next door neighbours have their daughter and son in law staying with them on holiday from Brazil. She is as white as snow but he is a serious Rasta….dreads, beads, front teeth missing, constant roll up smoking and everything. The slightest sight of him and me doggy goes berserk. Hugely amusing.
        Mind you, when my oldest son was a toddler it was in the days when Moira Stewart read the news….he used to literally shit himself when she came on the telly. Don’t know where he got that from eh?

  15. LibDem party political shut cast, could it be more condescending whilst trying to be right on?

    I’m one for free speech and freedom and all that jazz, but if someone locked the entire LimpDem party including members in a Siberian work camp I would turn a blind eye.

    What a cunt fest

    • It was utter euro loving shite! Al BBC were at it again today on R4. More remoniac scare tactics. What a bunch of utter cuntoids….

    • A paid up lib dem member mate of mine after seeing it said he wanted to round up the gormless cunts in the video and shoot them all in the back of the head.

  16. The soft cunts are all trying to be ‘right on’ and modern trying to gain favour with the young cunts who are ‘the future’. Fuck off you shower of doddery delusional mother fuckers. The limp dems are history save for a few womens institute and born again cunts who might still vote for them. Cable is a condescending shakey head skid mark. His comments about grown up sensible adults from all partys getting together to stop brexit is fucking high treason and they should be sentenced to life in flabbots bedroom. Wankers.

  17. My daughter has told me that there’s a filum on tomorrow night called “niño” and it was partly filmed here in La Linea.
    Oh, how that brought a smile to my face as i remembered walking on set during filming.
    They were filming down the beach one night and there were loads of cunts i later found out to be actors and extras standing around some cunts playing bongos by a fire.
    Even though i clocked all the vehicles, catering, equipment and people, i thought ” oh aye, what’s going on here then?” and wandered right through everycunt with my dog.
    “CORTEN!!!!!!!” (CUT) was what i heard before security whisked me out of there with everycunt tutting and drawing me evil looks.
    BRILLIANT. 🙂

    Not a cunting, just a funny memory i wished to share.

    • Loved that story Birdie…..kind of thing I would like to do myself….walk onto set, pause, cue keks…and have a fucking great dump on camera.

      They reckon each reshoot costs thousands…fucking result.

  18. Someone mentioned Thai brides the other day. By some strange coincidence by e-mail box now seems to be receiving 5 to 10 offers from a veritable smorgasbord of nationalities….All nubile young cuties who just can’t wait to meet me…Chinks,Coons,Nips,East European pikeys, I’m spoiled for choice really.
    What worries me is if they come with any kind of warranty? If I wear the cunt out will I get a refund? I suppose if I pay by credit card I’ll be covered,but Barclaycard were very sniffy when I claimed for that exploding sex-bot. Sanctimonious twats.

  19. i’ve recently been in ‘discussion ‘ with a girl called Jen. how she got my email ‘i’ve no idea.she’s got naughty photos for me to see. all i have to do is log onto a website. after ‘stringing ‘ her ‘ along i let it be known she’d never get my credit card details, did she want to keep ‘chatting’ ? made no fuckin difference the idiotic requests kept coming lol.

    • Was that you Richard ? I’ll have you know my sister Fanny (Jen is just her “working” name) was most upset when you wouldn’t cough up. I warn you,she’s a vindictive woman..a very large vindictive woman. I’d double-bolt your doors tonight if I was you.

  20. it seems the ex England womens coach had an affiar with one of the players while he was at Bristol. thats why he was sacked- apparently.

  21. all this gay marriage vote bollocks out here is a cunt fuck me ive never seen so many fucking rainbow flags and cunting lefty wankers with vote yes leaflets all over the streets who cares if the chocolate speedway racers want to get married or not the cunts just get fucking on with it you cunts

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