Jehovah Witnesses are the “tight wads” of Christianity. Cunts think nowt of doffing 10% tithe to their church but when Xmas bowls round the kids get fuck all!
I wouldn’t care, I have no idea where the money goes because every Jehovah church I’ve ever seen (admittedly only 6 or so – but dotted around the country) literally have been like extended wooden shacks or a couple of porta-kabins stuck together!
If then spend more than £50 quid a year on their upkeep I’d be amazed! There’s a rabbit off somewhere in that set-up! Even the watchtower only has a 2 amp energy saver bulb in it these days!
—-
“Dad?”
“Yes Johnny.”
“If Jesus was here now, as a child, what do you think he’d be doing today, on Christmas day?”
“Well Johnny, I imagine he’d spend it spreading good will to all men, helping the poor and passing on much needed words of peace and happiness to all. Is that what you think too son?”
“Well I don’t know about that Dad, but I reckon he’d be playing the fuck out of Black Ops on his new PS4 like Charlie is next door!”
Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!
Always found them a bit odd to be honest (from personal experience) Poundland Scientology is a good description. They give money to the church, keep themselves to themselves and even managed to sway a few celebs (Michael Jackson ?) but there’s probably something more going on behind closed doors. Where a sky fairy is concerned, you can bet your last watchtower there is industrial scale kiddy fiddling going on somewhere.
6
If only they did “keep themselves to themselves”.
And the cunts always call at the most inconvenient moments – once right in the middle of Come Dine With Me, ffs!
10
That’s funny SB. Thanks for the laugh.
4
SB , do you prefer the singles or couples CDWM?? 😂😂😂
3
Tough question Q, close call. Mrs Baker prefers Couples, so if push came to shove I’d come down on the side of…umm…can I say both?
Ok, what the fuck – Couples!
2
No – Singles! There’s usually more hostility involved.
3
I was asked to be a Jehovah’s witness, but i declined as I hadn’t seen it happen.
If i thought my parents were bad, at least the never dragged me door to door carrying a briefcase and repeatedly getting told to “fuck off”
Kevin Bloody Wilson has a song called “The Festival Of Life (i think) that tells how to deal with Jehovah’s witnesses. Turn the tables and tell them what you and your missus got up to on a Saturday night.
2
I fucking hate jahova whitnesses if you want a good laugh at the expence of these cunts google kevin bloody wilsons-festival of life, he sums these cunts up a treat……money grabbing,door knocking, time wasting fucks should all be tazered….
3
Still, better than a peaceful
4
I dunno you can get a nasty burn of those candles they use in their vigils in support of not being nasty to “peaceful” cunts!
2
I will not tolerate religious extremism of any sort !!
How would you like to be at a dinner, stuck between Cuntuar Welby and God’s Vicar ?
Me neither…
3
I’ve recently joined the Jehovah’s Witness Protection Programme.
I go door-to-door telling people I’m somebody else…
7
Our Jehovah witnesses are actually quite nice. We talk about Arsenal and Brighton for ten minutes, then they leave. Odd.
3
They are a sinister bunch of cunts. There is more than a whiff of child abuse and cover-ups about them. They divide families. Christmas and birthdays are the least of it. They will let a child die rather than allow a transfusion or transplant. I have been unpleasant to the cunts for as long as I can remember so they steer clear. But, as with all these religious bigots, where they sense weakness they will home in to save some poor deluded cunt. From what or for whom fuck only knows.
9
Fucking nepotism, eh? In the Daily Heil today is loads of pics of children of celeb cunts who are “making it”. Obviously with a shit-ton of help from their cunt parents. Probably not their *actual* parents, their parents’ agents and assorted brown-nosers. I used to think that the platinum version of this was jug-eared twat Will Smith’s appalling son, but he’s now in second place, having been dethroned by Lennon Gallagher on a cat walk, ffs, looking like a mongoloid caveman. Lennon looks rather like he should be one of the ‘special’ participants of C4’s “The Undateables”.
4
Lennon Gallagher is strangely reminiscent of Odd Bod Junior from Carry on Screaming.
A most odd looking cove, no mistake.
4
I feel the need to give what is probably his 7th cunting or something like that to that walking tub of lard that is James Corden. Not content with somehow being put up with by the Yanks and stealing a living being one of the most talentless, unfunny and unlikeable fucks ever to stalk the Earth…. He now feels it necessary to completely destroy one of the longest running children’s characters in Peter Rabbit the movie. There is literally no pie that this morbidly obese drain on society will not stick his chubby, greasy, KFC stained fingers into in order to fatten his wallet. Which is growing almost as quickly as his fucking waistline. The thought of having to expose my daughter to his lack of talent and myself sitting there for 90 minutes plus listening to his stupid high pitched voice is making me tremble with a combination of fear and rage.
Oh and did I mention he’s fat. Cunt.
10
Beckhams son Brooklyn (lol) recently had an ‘exhibition’ of his photographs in New York.he’s only 19 ffs. Either he’s incredibly talented or………..
2
Poor cunt, inherited his mother’s looks and clearly his Dad’s brain.
“So Brooklyn, an interesting exhibition you’ve assembled here. Some would say dark even.”
“Uhhh, yeah, sure. Uhhh, well it was reflective of my mood at the time. Uhhh, this one is of a beggar lady at night in, uhhh, Paris. And this one is of a dying child in Botswana. Soooo, uhhh, yeah, pretty dark, sure.”
“And yet they look almost identical. In fact completely black. Was that part of the developing process?”
“Uhhh, well it was, uhhh how they came back after Mums took them to Boots.”
“Yes in fact, they’re so black Brooklyn, such a pure black, it’s almost as if the lens cover was left on?”
“Uhhh, what’s a lens cover?”
4
What is the fucking point of Theresa May? Ok, she’s not Flabbott or Corbyn – but she’s now even more irrelevant and yesterday’s person than ‘Call Me Dave’ Cameron, ffs.
She has no power, no-one takes the slightest notice of anything she says any more, and rightly so, she has never delivered on any of her fine words EVER!
Fuck off and let someone with more credibility, like Noel Edmunds, take over.
26
Apparently Noel Edmonds is inviting some African children on to his show to help improve their lives, albeit with a slight change in format.
Meal or no meal…..
21
She’s only in Downing Street because that posh cunt Cameron threw a tantrum when we voted to the leave the Soviet EUnion and resigned. I’ve been saying for the past year that if she could find a way to fuck Brexit up, she would.
8
Can’t argue with that, Quick Draw.
2
Womens football needs a cunting because frankly, who gives a flying fuck?
If you’ve read any of my previous posts you’ll know I have no time for football, its stars or its fucking fans. For me it’s just bread and circuses to keep an ignorant burger munching society in line so they don’t notice that the masses exist to serve the few. So that’s regular football for me, I would rather play with dog turds.
But Womens football? What the fuck is the point? If grown men kicking a ball around bores me to fucking tears then this is like counting hairs on a pigs scrotum while watching a dog scarf out its own anus.
Then there’s all the feminist crapola that goes with it. I heard yesterday on the BBC some stocky looking old growler saying that womens football needs a woman manager. You know what you old biffer? nobody gives a fuck. And the “home” of womens football? the fucking BBC of course.
If it was topless I would be interested but only if they got a new squad, most of them look like they’ve been round the block a few times.
What next? Peaceful womens football? I would love to see two teams of walking black postboxes having a kick around but how would they see the goal? probably use an infidel’s head as a ball too.
In short, womens football…go suck a dick and fuck off while you’re doing it.
13
Check this out:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5CH5eHNpTc
6
Hmmmmm…..I’m now a committed fan of womens soccer!
2
I’ve got two ways of dealing with JW door stepping me.
A…. completely ignore them
B…. if I’m in the mood have some banter!, my wife always laughs when I get involved…..
I’m never rude just gently take the piss…..
7
I am not for or against the Jo bo’s, but I will tell you this, in the adriatic sea there is an island Rab2 or (Goli Ortok), it was one of Tito’s nastiest political prisons.
Jo bo’s are conscientious objectors and refuse to do military service, The deal was simple in Jugoslavia, you do it or prison.
Goli Ortok was notorious to say the least, but the Jo Bo’s had an option, at any point during their stay they could request a rifle, fire one shot out to sea and take the next boat back to the mainland and finnish there time in military service.
Most of them did not, takes a lot of balls to survive a place like that.
4
Breaking news on sky….
That British citizen???
18 year old Ahmed Hassan has been charged in connection with Parsons Green attack!!!
ungrateful cunt!!!
13
Cunterbatch now says he can’t take in any refugees!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4908592/Benedict-Cumberbatch-DID-consider-housing-Syrians.html
6
What a virtue signalling cunt of massive proportions!
Here, how about this for an idea Cumbercunt, why not buy a house then put immigrants in it?
Thought not.
7
Dear Mr. Cuntypatch,
When you heard your wife was awaiting a happy event, why did you not invite every diddling slime along to let them indulge?
You are an ENORMOUS cunt.
If you ever stick your twatface above the parapet again, I hope someone in the vicinity has a N Korean surplus ac-ack device to pint at you.
I should like to add that, if I ever become grossly rich, not a single penny shall be going to gimmegrunts.
I support fallen women, especially if I get to push a few first…
5
I wish he would fuck off to Syria
6
What a gargantuan cunt this twat is. He’s got a neck like fucking ET, in fact he looks like ET. Typical of these luvvie luvvie so called celebs “do as I say not as I do”. Fucking wanker.
3
Just saw some of the most wonky eyed biased news shite you could ever wish to see…
sky news
Don’t know the presenters names , white man with black female co presenter, both obviously remoaners, guest one German writer for zeit online imke Henkel who unsurprisingly thinks brexits very bad!!, and probably won’t happen, guest number 2 french broadcaster nabila ramdani who to my utter amazement? (Joke) agrees with ms Henkel but adds that Britain has done fantastically well thanks to the EU , “as all of us sitting round the table agree”??, lurking in the background on studio screen waiting surly to add some balance to the argument is??? John rentoul from that well known brexit supporting newspaper THE NOT SO INDEPENDENT!! ……
sky you are utter utter Cunts!!!
11
Aaaah…
John Renthole…
3
Yes…Renthole et al…Slimy little shits the lot of them!
3
The Polish division of the Brighton JW’S rumbled Mrs Fistula is Polish, they have been round a few times accompanied by their drab miserable kids ( poor bastards )They work hard to make sure their insurance policy into Heaven is fully payed up. This is one of those religions that uses guilt as a major weapon amongst its flock. And like all religions they want your mind and your money. It always amazes me that in these days when were supposed to be more informed and enlightened people still believe in a make believe man in the sky
3
Ah-haaa! How do you know it’s a man?
Or a woman?
I think it’s an invisible pink unicorn but some deluded cunts think it’s a flying spaghetti monster! Well they’re just bigots that lot! Cunts!
3
It is a man Rebel he visits me in the middle of the night and says he must fuck Mrs Fistula otherwise I won’t go to heaven.
4
Oh that’s the Mormon God mate.
3
It seems that Charlton Hessletine has driven his chariot into the brexit arena, and has declared that Brexit will never happen, and that we will remain. He predicts that Members of the House of ill Repute have no stomach for such an arduous task such as managing a country, and would far prefer if someone else would do it for them. Hesselslime also predicts that we will eventually replace the pound with the Euro, and within a generation or so, we will all be happily little eurodumbs.
Sadly, following the capitulation of that most useless piece of shit Treason May, he could well be right.
More painful cuts to welfare, NHS and Public Services, a further tightening of the belt ( because we need to be prudent ) yet we can shell out fucking billions to the Slimeshits of the EU.
There is only one change that is required now, the change that can be purchased with a full metal jacket!
May is a cunt, and Hesselslime is the condom for Barmy Barnier’s cock.
2
Returning to the subject of JW’s.
I answered the door once to be confronted with page ? of the Bible in my face and a narrative of what Jehova God had said of mankind.
The guy’s presentation skills were extremely wanton, and his delivery was rabid and spattered with gobs of saliva in his haste to get as much shite out of his gob before I punched his lights out.
He paused to take breath, and in that moment I let rip with an enormous fart!.
Now unfortunately for me ( and to my horror ) I followed through with a very wet stool pulsing its way out of my arse like a Mr Whippy at the seaside.
In my desire to offend the little fucker, I had seriously miscalculated and had discharged one of those that will not stop no matter what.
However ( and now many years later ) I can piss myself laughing as I recall the sheer look of horror and confusion on that little fuckers face as he backed away, overcome with the horrid smell and revolting site of shite now emerging from my trouser leg. My “Oh Jesus Christ Almighty” were the last words he heard as he fucking ran down the pathway.
Nukie Brown and a Savaloy dip with pease pudding is a great way to get rid of JW’s! But the washing is fucking awful.
16
Well…..that puts a tin lid on any further discussion on how to get rid of Jehovah Witnesses….or any other Cunt who might be foolish enough to knock on your door. Short of chasing him down the path and flinging the turd at him, I can’t imagine anything more you could do to deter casual callers. Bravo. 🙂 .
2
Well…..that puts a tin lid on any further discussion on how to get rid of Jehovah Witnesses….or any other Cunt who might be foolish enough to knock on your door. Short of chasing him down the path and flinging the turd at him, I can’t imagine anything more you could do to deter casual callers. Bravo. 🙂 .
0
“PM climbs down on EU citizens, borders and law with €20bn bung for Brussels as she bids to kickstart Brexit talks – but is accused of betraying referendum by effectively keeping us in the bloc until 2021”
Ever get the feeling you’ve been had ? Nothing but a fucking sellout.
14
May has sold us a pup Dick. Brexit is being watered down at such a rate we might as well stay in the fucking block
3
I’ve never believed that there was ever any intention of implementing “Brexit” in a meaningful way. Our true rulers would never allow it.
9
“Rulers” or “Owners”?
No such thing as a wealthy patriot.
(No such thing as a poor socialist either).
1
So 2 extra years added on for the remoaners to plot and derail brexit?? Pathetic shite from a pathetic weak PM!
The only good thing is the EU is ploughing on with their intergration at all costs approach!!, let’s hope they hang themselves in that period……..
The narrative from them is they are on the way up? Well we’re going to find that out……..
Like most of you on this site I haven’t got the time of day for the EU and wanted to be gone by 2019……….. Cunts!!
10
It’s NEVER going to happen, Q…not in 2019,not in 2012. Brexit is an illusion.
5
Hi DF,
By nature I’m a blindly optimistic Cunt!!, I’m not gonna fret until brexit is stone dead!!, then if it happens I will consider my options ?, which may be leaving the uk, I’m 52 and retired, my wife’s got a couple of years left before she can take early retirement, then hopefully we can take stock and move on…..
I believe the EU is as likely to collapse as we are to leave…..
I fucking despise the Cunts!!
DF don’t write off brexit or the EU collapsing!!, far stranger things have happened…….
8
EU will hopefully be toast within 5 years.
But not before our ‘useful Idiots’ have handed them the equivalent of at least 6 years net payments (€60billion).
Cunts.
9
Wishful thinking I fear. SB. The EU is going nowhere,and neither are we.
6
EU will be laughing all the way to the bank Dick, with mongoloid 5th Columnists Hammond, May and Rudd happily doing their bidding.
Never mind, all the less for Commie Corbyn & Co to flush down the khazi following the next election.
7
Always thought Mrs. Might was a right…
And she’s always been lukewarm about Brexit.
She’ll be giving blowies under the table in Berlaymont next…
2
So many Cunters have JW stories. I just wonder, are there any Cunters that actually don’t have them, or are they just everywhere?
2
Me, I do have a Mormon story though……
1
T. May speech grovelling (as expected) to EU, they must be laughing their stinking socks off! With ‘leadership’ like this we might as well just throw in the towel and Remain.
Maybe that’s the cunting plan…
9
That Dentist dodger Verstanshat or whatever the Belgian cunts name is has been smugly laughing his ugly head off at us.
2
Whoops! Comment pulled… Have I offended?
1
I’ve been moderated in a reply to your earlier post,and reading it back,I just can’t see what word can have tipped it off. Strange.
1
Jesus H. What the fuck has she done?
3
what with all the build up to May’s speech i thought something radical would come out of it, and why Florence ? If you read into it and its not hard , all she has said is were staying And what a bunch of deluded cunts Joe Public must be to think otherwise. Apparently Nigel is fuming and who can blame him. so am i fucking fuming
5
There’s too much money / corruption in the EU for it to not go away
6
Oh dear. I just saw some of you’re PM’s speech. Remind me again, how does democarcy work? I thought if the majority of the population voted for something, then it is supposed to be implemented by the appropriate authority.
Apparently not.
Would you at least have a shred of respect for her if she’d stood there and said “We’re not leaving, we will double out migrant intake and increase our financial commitment to Brussels” ? At least she’d have been forthright and honest for once.
Sorry guys, you’re fucked.
9
Says some cunt whose pissy little country could be rubble tomorrow if the right tectonic plates decide to have a row. Why is it that those who have fucked off out won’t stay fucked off out?
3
Dopey cunt. What’s your fucking problem? I’m born in NZ so what am I supposed to stay “fucked off out” of exactly. Fucking prick. I’d rather take a good earthquake than live in a country with bitter fucking arseholes like you.
4
Well said KiwiCunt 👍
4
Touchy little cunt too.
2
Well you did round on me so what did you expect?
3
And for what its worth, I’m not the only offshore cunt commenting about Brexit on this site.
3
Steven Wolfe just called it a ‘Zombie Brexit’. Dead fucking right mate.
8
If zombies are mentioned some Yank cunt will make a movie about it…
Dawn of the Dictatorship?
Land of the Dead Democracy?
6
’28 Delays Later’
13
The Globalist Army are massing to pervert the course of history. Brussels are very responsible for this deception of the people, but they had inside help. Our Government.
I shall make no further mention of full metal jacket ( I assume that was the cause of my post being withdrawn )
Yours Sincerely ASA
6