Victoria Beckham (4)

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Once a cunt, always a cunt…. I refer to Dog/Skeletor/Yoko/Posh Spice…

Fashion designer?! Please pick me up off the fucking floor… There’s that for a start…
But trademarking your kid’s name, that sounds like a toilet cleaner?! And also trademarking the other three little cunts at the same time?… Irritating as they all are, I’m sure it’s reassuring for the Beckham brats to know that they are all ‘brand names’ as opposed to human beings (albeit little cunts of human beings, of course)… I suspect the horrible tart is going to put a load of crap on the market… A sort of inferior and tacky version of Paul Newman’s salad dressing…. Brooklyn’s Baked Beans?…. Cruz Crisps?….Harper Six (or is it seven?) Sink Unblocker?…. Fucking hell… She’s like a female Fagin… ‘Make me money, my dears…’

‘Posh’ (again,more image bullshit) is an even bigger cunt than I thought…
And I thought she was one of the biggest cunts on the planet to begin with…

Nominated by Norman.

Victoria Beckham is now an OBE.

She looks like a lollipop, I am sick of her and Duh’vid what a pair of cunts. Nothing to offer either of them, he’s a washed up Footballer desperate to be a ‘Sir’ and she ‘Designs’ clothing. She said she’s proud to be British, yet her and Duh’vid have both contributed to the current hurricane of wannabe famous talentless cunts and the celebrity culture we now have. Fuck off, and I bet that Haig whisky is shit.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt.

135 thoughts on “Victoria Beckham (4)”

  1. I’m pretty sure that the person who dubbed this talentless woman “Posh” was taking the piss.

    Remember when she tried to stop Peterborough United using the nickname “Posh”?

    Was watching a 90s retrospective on the telly a couple of months ago – Beckham was not only the worst singer but also the least good looking of the Spice Girls.

    I’ve ranted about this bitch and her gormless husband over at my place. Twice.

    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2017/02/05/beckham-and-the-non-existent-knighthood/?iframe=true&theme_preview=true

    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2017/02/12/beckham-and-the-non-existent-knighthood-update/?iframe=true&theme_preview=true

  3. What the fuck has she got an OBE for…services to anorexia? Actually David is, quite rightly, pissed off about not getting a knighthood which he thoroughly deserves for his services to the tattooing industry. Every time I see a tramp stamp I think about this silly cunt covering his body with Chinese symbols he doesn’t understand. Wanker. Of course the day will come when tats are passe and kids will laugh at these old cunts with their saggy tattooed skin. Vicky and David will be able to afford to have them removed while all the other silly cunts will be stuck with them. They may be a pair of cunts but I have more contempt for the cunts who actually give a fuck what they do, say and look like. Get a life of your own you wankers.

  4. This greedy,emaciated, child whoring miserable fucker is a cunt. She even tried to trademark the name Posh and sued my team Peterborough United who have been called the Posh since the 1920’s. Peterborough is a crap hole, full of peaceful’s and Roma and the team is average so is anything but posh, so should probably sue ourselves for misrepresentation .

  5. Speaking of tats I got talking to this bird at a party who had 4 or 5 Chinese symbols tattoed at the top of her tit. I asked her what it meant and the conversation went something like this:

    “It’s my name in Chinese innit?”

    “There’s no such language as Chinese.”

    “Watchu on abaat? What do they speak in China then?”

    “Well they speak Mandarin, Cantonese and a load of other languages, depending on where they come from. Was the bloke who did that Chinese?”

    “Nah, he was from Watford.”

    “So how do you know it doesn’t say…whore?”

    Long pause….” You’re faking daft you are.”

    No, I’m a cunt, I really am.

    • Nice one Freddie! I always wondered about the stupid tats that women put where THEY cannot see them. Like at the bottom of their back, or behind the shoulder.

      Is it for the benefit of the cunt logging them from behind?

      • I hate chicks with tattoos. They are bad enough on men but on wiminz they are truly horrific. Having “egg fried rice” tattooed on your tits will not make you any more beautiful, it will make you look like a chav cunt.

        I have never seen a single wiminz who has been made more attractive by the addition of any sort of tattoo, even a very small one. Case in point Tessa Fowler, big tit babe but with horrid gibberish tattooed all over her back. Ditto Leanne Crow, huge tits but cobblers tattooed on her arm. Fucking horrible, how are you supposed to crack one off to that?

        And don’t start calling them “ink designs”. They are tattoos plain and simple and are the preserve of bikers, sailors and convicts. Anyone else with a tat is just a wannabe cunt.

        Try losing a bit of weight, put a little slap on, do your hair and wear some decent clothes, that should do the trick.

      • I agree… Most (not all, but certainly most) birds with tattoos are riff-raff and lack class…

      • I have four tattoos.

        Tattoos are OK when personal thought goes into it, but when it’s tat picked from a booklet or from off the parlours wall, that’s when it’s cheesy.
        Are they still called parlours, or is it “boutique” nowadays like everything else?
        I have four tattoos of birds (BIRDMAN!!) that i wanted and still want. The missus has one on her lower leg that i designed myself.
        Its really nice and subtle and symbolises our daughter.
        As i say, personnel tattoos that have meaning are OK, but a tattoo for the sake if a tattoo is wrong.
        Brooklyn Beckham got his first tattoo recently and followed in his father’s footsteps and got an American indian,/native American/first nation cunts head tattooed on him.

        What the fuck does Shitting Bull have to do with the fuckin Beckham’s?

      • They seem to be really popular in Spain! Maybe I was just in the chavvy bit, but all the women had huge tattoos on their arms, legs and backs.
        Some of the Spanish women had the full sleeve shit going on.

        …yea I was probably just in the chavvy bit.

      • Nah, it’s the same everywhere, DeploytheSausage.
        That sleeve tattoo on tarts is minging, but its back tattoos, especially up the spine that’s horrible to me.
        It doesn’t matter as i don’t go on the pull anymore, but when i download a lezzer scene from Zgerbil and they have loads of tattoos, i immediately delete the fucker.
        Josephine James (busty Brit milf) has a back tattoo that looks like her spine has been sewn together with ribbons.
        Freaks me out every time i see it.

      • I was in Thailand last year and noticed all the young chicks with full arm tats. Fucking horible. I seriously would tell a bird to fuck off if she had a bad tat, no matter of how fit she was. It just really turns me off as bad as if she had a fucking beard or only 1 leg or something.

      • It’s just a standard tat that says “Wank all over my arse-cheeks. Available on all routes TfL”

      • Seems some people are unnerved by inked folk. Does the snap judgement on someone with a Tattoo say something about them or does it say a lot more about you?

        In a way a tattoo is a statement about not being a sheep, shame cunts like Beckham popularised them with the chav masses.

        The fellow below is definitely making a statement with his tattoos, I doubt many people would walk up to him and call him a cunt though.

        http://static1.squarespace.com/static/54c27987e4b0a736d2a942aa/557aaf8ae4b08cdd585ccef1/557aaf8de4b002c66e9c029f/1434103693860/Capture5.JPG

      • Sixdog, I think if you have to resort to branding your skin with some dumb ass symbol in order to show your individuality, then you’re not really so much of an individual after all.

        I have always said tats are for bikers, like in your picture, sailors or convicts. No problems with those folks having tats. But remember, sticking a feather up your arse does not make you a chicken.

      • I’m with you on this Skidmark Eggfart, plus there are that many folks with colourful scars now, that who is really the sheep?
        The wife’s got one and I really don’t like it, but each to their own.
        The only scar I’d choose to have would be my return address or NI number.

    • Once upon a recent time it was very popular amongst cunts from my neck of the woods to get tattoos in Oriental language symbols in Bali or some other Indonesian toilet when on holidays. I always joked that the actual translation of the script was “boil noodles for three minutes” or something. Turns out I was closer than I assumed in some cases.
      BTW Bali is a cunt of a place full of ageing hippies and various suspect pedos.

      • Thanks for the heads up, BUO, I was thinking of going there. I won’t bother now.

  6. I remember years ago when these cunts got married. Apparently they had his and her King and Queen throne like chairs where all the sad cunts would probably go and kiss their hands whilst they sat there. If only someone sneaked a tramp in and paid him to shit in the chocolate fountain. It shows that they had become cunts long ago, and the years of being told yes by everyone has increased the cuntitude. Duh’vid has been shown up recently for the recognition craving cunt he is, he was slagging off some cunt who got an honour. These two cunts show what too much fame and money do to you. They made the most of their limited talent and played all the dumb cunt fans. I cannot wait for their fall, and it will be a fucking long one.

    • Wouldn’t need to pay a tramp to shit in their chocolate fountain, I’d do it for free. In fact I’ve got a bad case of the runs this morning so thinking about the Beckhams drinking it will make it much easier. Thanks for that.

    • I remember the cunts’ wedding too. They had it in a castle like they were fucking Royalty and even had a monogrammed flag hoist atop it with their initials on it: VA and DB.

      However the pretentious cunts interleaved the initials forename below surname so the flag actually read as:

      V D
      A B

      And, as it was windy, the lower part of the flag kept folding over, so all you ever saw above their pretentious ceremony (which the meejah were all over as it was as close to a Royal wedding those twats had had in a while) was the letters “V D”. This is true, if there’s any footage or pictures on the t’interweb of it, you’ll see the dozy cunts’ VD flag in all its glory!

      Quite apt really because I’d have been getting myself checked out after knobbing that skank!

      She couldn’t fucking sing, she could barely dance, she had a lousy fucking attitude so it’s always made me wonder how the least talented “Spice” (and let’s face it, that’s a pretty low bar) managed to get that gig?

      I think you know what I mean…Beck’s, being as thick as a castle wall, obviously didn’t! 😁

    • I recall their ludicrous and media whoring wedding… Sold as ‘exclusives’ to various tabloid rags and celebricunt magazines, naturally…. The two thickts demanded that everyone wear purple to their wedding, women and men… Roy Keane told them to fuck off and didn’t go… Keane said the idea of anyone being told what to wear at a wedding was laughable, and he was right…

      And George Best’s words on Beckham were spot on… ‘He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn’t score many goals. Apart from that he’s all right….’

      Bestie missed the bits out about -‘Dave-id’ being thick as pigshit, prostituting himself to the media, selling out his boyhood club and the manager who made him (Fergie) and giving the world the most talentless,arrogant, media whore since Yoko Ono by marrying Doggy Spice… What a cunt…

    • Seems appropriate for those twats to get married in that dreadful fashion, as they truly are the king and queen of chavs, and their pointless kids are heirs to that undesirable throne.

      • The next kid’ll be called “Aytill”. The slag-mother gets knocked-up in an “8 til late” bending over the frozen lasagnes.

  7. The cunts who worship and idolise these vacant spaces are a sad reflection of our society. Who in fucks name gets ecstatic about the daily reportage of these two mongs. They must be very sad fuckers with the intellect of Nelson Mandela’s arsehole.

  8. Friend of mine in the press said it’s well known that this cow is a publicity whore. She would take a dump in Trafalgar Square if she thought it might get her on the front page of The Mongolian Times.
    Scrawny miserable bag ,who fell out of the cunt tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    • I’ve got no doubt Victoria is the driving force behind the Beckham ‘Brand’. Duh’vid was a normal cunt at Man U until she got him wearing Sarongs etc. Goldenballs? He needs a kick in the balls. The cunts.

      • Was an unflashy lad before he met Skelly Spice… Not particularly bright, but an OK kid… Used to see him around Prestwich in those days… Him and Butt were fine, while the Nevilles were cunts (Jaap Stam was right)… But then his ‘showbiz romance’ started: and it was poofy hairdos, sarongs, stunts for the papers, missing training while Skeletor went shopping(!), then the Spice Girls creator, Frankenstein Fuller became Beckham’s manager and Fergie exploded…. Wasn’t sorry tom see the little cunt go….

      • Frankenstein Fuller, ha ha. Classic Norman. He’s a weird looking cunt.

  9. Here’s a story I heard about Rio and Becks when they were playing for England under Capello.

    Capello turns up for training and says he’s got to fuck off for some big meeting with the FA. He tells them to carry on with the usual routine and he’ll see them tomorrow.

    Rio turns to Becks and says, fuck training do you fancy a round of golf? Becks says yes so they agree to go home for their clubs and meet over the course.

    Becks opens the door and hears Posh making strange noises upstairs. He tip toes up the stairs and peers into the open bedroom door. There’s Capello fucking the shit out of Posh! Becks thinks “fucking hell” sneaks down the stairs, collects his clubs and fucks off.

    Next day Capello turns up, makes some excuse about a press conference and fucks off. Rio turns to Becks and says “fancy another round of golf?” Becks says “fuck off you cunt, I nearly got caught yesterday.”

  10. These two fuckwits with an IQ between them of about 30 goes to prove largely you don’t need to be intelligent to make a lot of dosh. Two things usually qualify. 1. You get lucky (Beckhams, Damien Hirst, Gorgon Emin, Ray fackin Winstone etc) or 2. Be an absolute CUNT (Branston, Sir Fill Greenie, Murdoch, Ashley). Some fit both categories e.g Blatter.
    I suppose once you get the money cuntishness is inevitable.

    • Also, there’s the ‘be a total slag, cockgobbler, worn out arsehole, and shagbag’ make a lot of money ploy…

      See Katie Price, Madogga, Chickboy Gaga, Banana Gob Gina Miller, Kunty Perry, Scarlett Moffat, Cheryl Cole/Tweedy/Whatever. Amanda Hold ’em, ‘Lady’ (snigger) Victoria Hervey, all the TOWIE/Shore/Big Brother slappers, and so on… Too many to mention…

  11. Luckiest cunt in the world has got to be Jamie spazmouth Oliver. He was a cunt before he got the money….must have been.

  12. My mate Leroy has “WENDY” tattooed on his cock,and when he gets erections it says “WELCOMETOBARBADOSHAVEANICEDAY”…………………Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah

    • My cock is a lot like marmite.

      My missus loves it…but hates it when I rub it on her toast…

  13. She always looks so fucking miserable,I’m sure that if I’d managed to amass a fortune despite being totally talentless, I’d be grinning like Diane Abbott at a free all-you-can-eat fried chicken counter. The worst thing about Victoria Beckham (apart from the singing,fashion-sense,looks,greed and relentless self promotion) is her legacy…a new breed of Hyper-Cunts,who through a diabolical mixture of genes,are destined to torment and infuriate the public for a generation. All we can hope for is that they follow the Geldof children’s excellent example and take to hard drugs in a serious way.

    Bet Ginger Spice is still a hell of a good ride,mind.

    • Only Spice I wanted to do back in the day was Geri…
      Only ex-Spice I want to do now is Geri….

    • At least Geri Hailwell smiles once in a while, victoria is just a moody self entitled rich bitch with a small bum. I agree Geri is a hot bird she was also the 1st spice girl to leave the group if my 90’s nostalgia serves me correct

    • I very much doubt she lets David have a go any more, anyway. And I bet when she did she always had to go on top, he would break her otherwise.

      • “Hey babes are you sure oy ‘ave to cam in a turkey baster to get you pregnant?”

        “David that’s what we agreed! We’ll be having none of that other silliness!”

        “Ok babes. Wey’ull can oy cam on your tits? Just once? You said yous would arfter I promised to boot Rebecca? She used to lav a tit wank!”

        “Look! Maybe! Stop being so pushy about filth like that!”

        “Ok. Cool. One larst fing babes?”

        “WHAT!?!”

        “Can oy buy you sam tits first?”

  15. Posh spice? What a fucking misnomer. It speaks volumes of the chavishness of the rest of the vapid quintet that she got to be “posh”.

    The very term “posh” is chav as fuck anyway. Only really chavy cunts use it and it usually applies to anyone who who doesn’t live on a council estate, doesn’t have DIY tattoos and doesn’t have a 60 inch plus TV. Cunts.

    • You’re right, Skiddy… Only riff-raff knobends use the term ‘posh’ for people who aren’t… As far as I’m concerned ‘posh’ is royalty: Elizabeth II and her lot… Cunts like Victoria Beckham, those Trinny and Susannah dogs, and superslag ‘Lady’ (don’t laugh) Victoria Hervey and her ilk are about as posh as Jim Davidson…

  16. This pouting boy bodied cunt came to prominence by way of one of the most grossly overrated groups in living memory, even amongst other utterly useless Cunts Victoria stood out as Being completely devoid of any talent whatsoever!, couldn’t sing or dance and had the personality of a welk!! Like the rest of the spice girls I wish she would simply fuck off and do something useful!!
    Overrated pop shite marries Overrated footballer and has some fuckin brats!! Story finished..

  17. This is the modern world. Talent is irrelevant. Applies to music, film and entertainment in general. Fashion always was bollocks anyway. The cunts are the fools that support all this shite.

    • Very true. In today’s meedja society, any old barrel of cunt can be seen as “talent” as the mong generation are too busy saddling unicorns and wanking over the Progressive Times to see reality…only their own false reality. This is why I don’t watch ordinary TV, look at the papers or get involved in all that social plastic FaceWank and Twatter shite, as it’s all a handcart full of cunt. Today’s talent is like a wetwipe. Throw it in the bin and forget about it after it’s been used.

  18. Considering the cunting topic I will tell one of my favourite jokes.
    What do you call four Dogs and a black Bird?

    The Spice Girls.

    I’m sure JR Cuntley would approve.

    Technically though Scary Spice is a Black and White cunt so you can change the answer to the group called All Saints.

  19. I reckon she’s got a turned up nose because David’s got a short cock and she has to press right up when she gives him a gobble. This is why Oriental women have squashed up noses too.

    • Every time there is a photo of her smiling she always looks like she wants to dash off and lay a brick, Beckham just looks like someone has made one of those balloon toys behind the camera.

  21. I’d like to nominate the London Marathon for a cunting.

    I have no problem with folk who enjoy running – I admire your ardour – or those folk who enjoy taking part in the London Marathon for whatever reason, and in whatever costume but…

    Why the fuck does every fucking step need to be covered for over 5hrs from 9.55am to 3pm on ABBC1 and 7hrs on ABBC Radio 5 Live!?!?!?!

    Couldn’t they show 3 films and just do a catch up between each flick?

    It also shows how shite programming is these days courtesy of “our” TV station! 5hrs weekend prime-time on its premier channel!

    As soon as the ABBC appointed a “front bottom” as “Head of Sport” you just knew that that was the ABBC Director General’s nod to eradicating sport once and for all from the “tax” channels.

    Why? Cos sports cost money and the ABBC needs all their money to spend on “peaceful” appeasement programming and “peaceful” appeasement news reporting.

    5hrs for fuck’s sake! I hope that there are no misunderstood blokes from Kent waiting in the wings…

    • I was hoping to manage a decent time for last year’s marathon, somewhere around the three hour mark.

      But only managed about ten minutes and had to change channel as it was boring the cunt off me….

    • I used to go and WATCH the London Marathon .
      I used to be a long distance runner until one day i woke up and realised its utter fuckin nonsense.
      So i bought a push bike.

      One memory of the marathon was seeing this black guy who had two ebony babes on each arm, taking turns snogging them both.
      What a fuckin hero!!!!!!
      Right outside Buckingham palace too.
      If ye’s think anybody running the London Marathon is nuts, then yer right. It takes years to get through the waiting list, and its easier to run the Sydney marathon and sponsors will pay the travel.
      Or at least they used to.

      I was a sponsored runner, but never took them up on the offer.
      Lazy cunt i am.

    • But of course the ABBC will conveniently ignore any bogo-bogo cunt savages who nick the water bottles…

    • someone will crap in their lycra, someone will cark… I jost hope it’s Fiona The Bruce

  22. On a personal note, cunts who are well off enough to list “motor racing” amongst their hobbies and pastimes, but keep impoverished self employed cunts like myself waiting for payment for a 75 quid repair job, are massive cunts. Especially after they bugged the arse off me to get it finished promptly. I hope you’re reading this. CUNT!!

  23. I’ve had enough of those two wankers, William and Harry, spouting on about their “feelings” and “emotions” when their mother died. I don’t care for peoples propensity to wail and make a drama about people dying. It might not be fashionable to still believe in the idea of the British stiff upper lip,and I’m sure that people probably do get upset when someone close to them dies,but I don’t want to hear about it ,especially from those spoilt tossers.

    I’ve been accused of being a callous bastard for not going along with all the grief thing when someone dies,but in my 50 odd years I’ve had plenty of family and friends die,and I can honestly say that it doesn’t seem to bother me,apart from wondering how the death will affect me materially. What a cunt,eh.

    • You’re right, Dickie… The Sky Sports channel has been filled virtually non-stop with ‘tributes’ to the late Ugo Ehiogu…. Nothing against the lad himself, a decent player and (by most accounts) a decent bloke… But the way Sky and others are going on you’d think he was Bobby Moore, Franz Beckenbauer, and Franco Baresi combined…. The lad got four England caps and the coverage is well overboard… Paul Merson blubbing in front of the cameras (does he cry at everything? He seems to) and other griefjacking has been the order of the day… But that’s the way it is now: everyone is an ‘icon’ or a ‘legend’… And when they die they are over-eulogised and made out to be greater than they were…

      And Wills and Harry can fuck off and all… Lost my brother, sister, mum, dad, and three aunties… But life goes on… Some of us have responsibilities… Some of us work and don’t have time to have ‘mental health issues’ and talk bullshit to ladyboy circus freak pop stars on Skype… So those two overprivileged haw-haw cunts can fuck right off…

      • Quite agree. Death is something that just happens to be at the wrong end of life.

        Meejah grief-jacking wankfests are just a heap of old toss.

        Remember when “The Sheeple’s Princess of Farts” died. Missus was watching it on the box; reminded me of Steptoe & Son… hearse going up the Goldhawk Rd under “a heap of stalks”. Brilliant.

        As for “Icon”, “Icunt”, more like !!

    • Those 2 half brother cunts were more emotionally attached to their fucking nanny. The Princess of Hearts did fuck all as a mother, was never around and was too busy whoring to media and special friends. The Posh Spice of her day.

  24. I’ve never been a fan of posh and becks but they’re more of those “famous for being famous” cunts so I guess they have to do whatever they can to keep their names in the paper.
    She’s not a famous fashion designer because she’s a good fashion designer, it’s just the fact that people have heard of her that lets her sell her shit.
    Beckham is just a pretty boy but that goal he scored against Greece was a great moment in my life!

    Didn’t she invent that fuckin stupid fish pout that girls do?

    …For that she deserves the noose!

    • Yeah I was there that day and besides THAT goal Beckham was the only Englishman on the field who wanted to play. Anybody there that day will never forget that performance or the moment that ball hit the back of the net. I blame that skinny bitch for turning him into an utter cunt. I bet she moans at him every day because she isn’t Lady Victoria yet. If I was him I’d dump the cow.

      • Dump the cow? What, as in bray her over the head with a lump hammer, chop off her head, hands and feet ( feed to the pigs later ) and dump the weighed down remainder in a very deep and remote Norwegian fjord? That sort of dump?

      • “The beckaae residence, the lady of the house speaking.”

        The cunt’s been called posh for so long she probably actually does think she’s posh.
        To everyone else she’s just another stupid tart that got lucky.

  25. I remember seeing the spice slags for the first time on The Chart Show on my tea break.
    I laughed my head off at how amateurish and cheestastic they were.
    A week later they were number one.
    A month later they were the biggest group, not band, group in the world.
    Before, we had Take Twat and Bros, but these cunts somehow got famous outside of the UK and took over the minds of young girls, batty boys/men and weirdos everywhere.
    That day on The Chart Show WAS the day the music died.

  26. Well I ended up getting Tanqueray gin for myself, I had sent for Plymouth but my friend couldn’t find it maybe they don’t sell it anymore? At first I was kinda pissed because I heard they weren’t exactly ideal for martini’s but even if thats turns out to be true, they apparently make great G&T’s and Pink Gins… it tasted good neat too

      • Plymouth gin is the oldest gin distillery in England, which means the oldest gin distillery in the world. It would be a tragedy if they shut down.

        I like my martini dirty. I was in a titty bar in Las Vegas and ordered a dirty martini. The waitress asked me how dirty I liked it, I answered in my best Hugh Grant accent “Oh, absolutely filthy, my Dear” That got me a gammie at the end of the night ( although I think the $50 “tip” might have helped a bit too.)

      • Skidmark Eggfart@ Maybe they soldout I dunno… I had wanted to go myself but I wanted to save on gas and my friend offered as he was picking up drinks as well. I also wanted to get boodles too but the fucker was soldout. It was Ian flemings favorite, not that I need his endorsement or anything just heard it was one of the better ones and its navy strength 45%

        found this photo looking for old booze posters El bart now thats a old company american tho I think http://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/10529/11127767_1.jpg?v=8CE37C379B0D100

    • Over here its Bombay Sapphire that seems to be popular.
      I’ve never tried a Martini but when i see one in a filum i salivate.
      A drink and olives at the same time sounds good to me.
      Never knew it was gin in it (innit) though.
      I used to love gin and tonic and the taste reminded me of the smell of freshly cut grass. mmmmmmm

      • Martini is basically all gin. Or in america all vodka because they are soft cunts who can’t stand the taste of gin.

      • Fucks sake, been trying to go alcohol free since the Barcelona bender Nd you lot are talking about Gin, I love Gin. Plymouth is my favourite although I like Tanqueray, I like Hendricks as well. Something about a warm day makes the G+T seem appealing, I’m not a cheap cunt but Tesco’s finest one is nice as well.

      • Over here you can get gin kits in the supermarket. They have cardamoms, cloves, peppercorns, some sort of flower stamen stuff and of course juniper berries. You put it in your gin and even cheap gin tastes like the best ever.

      • Skidmark Eggfart@ Which is weird because most vodkas are either tasteless or strong taste with a harsh unappealing flavor. Vodkas are only good for cocktails in my opinion. Vodka has no defining characteristic to it unlike brandy’s, gin’s, or rum’s If ita vodka martini then it isn’t a real martini

      • @TitSlapper. You are correct, vodka has very little flavour, even the expensive stuff. I don’t know why they started making vodka martini but they do. I guess the vermouth adds a little flavour but depending on how dry you like it you will basically be drinking neat vodka with maybe a slice of lemon peal or an olive in it.

        James Bond drinks vodka martini, shaken not stirred. The idea is that stirring the liquor “bruises” it but in actual fact its the other way round, shaking the liquor bruises it, stirring is a much more gentle process than shaking. Just one of Ian Fleming’s many inaccuracies. The cunt.

      • “you can get gin kits in the supermarket” I’ve seen those but I don’t want to fuck it up or something. But I might try making a small batch of sloe gin in the near future. As its almost foolproof and the idea is interesting to me

        I never shake my alcohol anymore I shake the liqueurs,fortifed wines, ice and other ingredients but I always pour my alcohol in afterwards and gently stir

        I originally did that with my brandy alexanders(All at once) but it dilutes at a faster pace you end up getting a watered down cocktail… I learnt the hardway

  27. Leicester City and any other club taking part in highlighting the plight of refugees is a cunt.

    Its the 80th anniversary of refugess arriving from Guernica (Basque) during the Spanish civil war.
    They want to highlight what they refugees contributed to the UK, fighting in WWII and playing for some football clubs, and how today’s refugees can also contribute.
    Good idea really coz I’m sure there’s some small villages somewhere in Britain that hasn’t had their girls raped by a muslime cunt yet.
    Theres a big difference between some communist cunts from northern Spain helping in times of war and cunts coming to create times of war.
    Especially as the Basques were attacked by Nazis, they had a same mind set to our country, and weren’t hell bent on forcing us to wear berets.

    • Just had something on the news about incurable bugs in hospitals. Some bloke said they were on the increase because, get this you will fucking love it, people bringing them back from being on holiday in India and Pakistan! No mention of the millions of rapugee cunts bringing in the bugs.

  28. I was interested in earlier posts, with a discussion of dumping or dumping upon Victoria Beckham. Me thinks that to dump upon would be a pleasure, but would be difficult to achieve due to the small ( narrow )target area .

    The fact that she would wriggle would make it harder.

    How about ( and I think you may like this one ) we tie her down, insert a funnel into her mouth, gaffer tape in place, and shite into the funnel ?

  29. This bloke was marooned on a desert island for 10 years. One day he was looking out to sea and he saw a woman struggling in the water and shouting to him. So he dives into the water, grabs hold of her and drags her back to shore.
    They are laying on the beach panting and gasping and the bloke looks at her and says “fuck me, you’re Posh Spice! What the fuck are you doing here?”
    “Well me and David were on our boat and a freak wave capsized us. David got eaten by a shark. I’ve been swimming for hours and you saved my life. I will be forever grateful and do anything for you.”

    So the bloke says he hasn’t seen a woman for 10 years, any chance of a blowie? So Posh thinks well David Is dead, nobody will ever know, why not? So she does the business.

    Next day the bloke says “oi Posh you know I saved your life and all that…any chance of a shag?” She thinks well nobody will ever know so she gets her legs open and does the business.

    Next day the bloke says “oi Posh you know I saved your life and all that…. Can I paint a moustache on you and call you Frank?”
    She thinks fuck me, this is getting weird but fuck it, who’s going to know? So she says yes and he gets a burnt stick and paints a moustache on her…”Oh you look great Frank, real handsome.”

    Next day the bloke is collecting driftwood and Posh comes along. The bloke says “Frank Frank, guess what? Posh says “what?” The bloke says..”Guess who I’ve been fucking?”

  30. I was pleased as fuck when Ferguson kicked that posing skirt wearing cunt Beckham out of Old Trafford.

    • Just rebranded the Beckham’s. Talentless Cunts Ltd. I’m a marketing genius.

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