Children in need

cm10_terry_wogan.jpg / Children In Need

BBC Children in Need is just phase one of the charity barrage that signals the start of the Christmas onslaught in earnest. The chuggers are coming, and woe betide you if you tell them to bugger off!

And this year it will be even worse – because we have all those poor unaccompanied ‘refugee children’ like the one in the above picture lurking across the water in France. And we have to help them, don’t we? Well, actually, no we don’t.

Fuck ’em. Let them eat cake. Let them in and their families will miraculously appear to join them and bring even more extremist bomb makers to our shores.

Nominated by: Dioclese

54 thoughts on “Children in need

  1. How much money has “children in need” raised over the past 1000 years or however long the shitefest has been running. How much have they got in the bank? By my guesstimate the have enough money to bail out fucking Spain! How is it then that I still see raggerdy arsed be- snotted children when ever I visit our beloved capital city said children running around tatty grass areas bereft of playground equipment or playing in burned out garages behind the flats. In the course of my somewhat erratic career I have had the pleasure of visiting some of the biggest shitholes in this country, that was almost thirty years ago. Two days ago I had to transit one of the areas I used to visit back then as I wended my weary way homeward. Few housing association developments, lots of ethnics, more traffic and street signs yet still after 30 odd fucking years children raggerdy arsed and be-snotted. Two fingers and fuck all is what I’m giving to Pudsey and all the cunts who are making a “good” life on the misery of others.

  2. I got fleeced by the eldest going off to school this morning. Like most schools there will be something on in support of it.

    “Can I have some money for Children in Need?”

    So I dole out the obligatory deuce.

    “Actually it’s £10 because there’s a special meal on at dinner time.”

    A tenner FFS! Which got me thinking…if every kid (and they won’t) gave a tenner at a circa 1,000 pupil school then that’s ten grand.

    So why is it when they appear in the December newsletter or local free rag that it’s always “…and managed to raise £1,000 for Children in Need…”?

    Where’s the rest of it gone you cunts!?!

  3. The fucking BBC again,my tv stay off today theirs a ban on tv at mine,in fact im gonna put me fucking foot through it,children in need should be banned its an embarrassment on this fucking country yet another one caused by the fucking BBC,and wot the fuck has happened to the fucking high st shops ,theyve been hijacked by the fucking charity brigade ,every fucking other shop is a dirty old shit tip of a charity shop,its a fucking disgrace,they a knock a me a fucking sick,fuck cunts,that wot they a be ,fuck cunts.

    • Trying to ween myself of Sky and the bbc. Fed up with the cunts taking my money and telling me I’m an uneducated racist misogynist thicko.
      Hopefully Christmas present to myself is a cancelled sky contract and a polite letter to the bbc telling them I won’t play their fucking game.
      Kodi for me from now on.
      Unless the jug earred gay boy currently infesting the White house really will give the internet to Sodi Alabia and the gooks.

  4. I am so pleased I live in a foreign country and can simply ignore this annual ‘fist in mouth cringefest’

    Cunts in fancy dress everywhere you go extorting cash out of the public and Z list slebs hypocrisy trousering vast fees and expenses while guilt tripping the public into parting with their hard earned.

    Gas them all like badgers I say, and the needy kids too, then this whole thing can be chucked in the dustbin of history.

  5. Actually I was in the local Co-op car park in Milton Keynes (a notorious place for the local kids to have a “smoke” – and I’m not talking Golden Virginia here), where the air was acrid, and the local plod waltzed in and out of the Co-op for their £3.75 meal deal whilst ignoring it.

    It’s got me thinking, maybe we should have a “Children on Weed” night?

    A far more entertaining evening that than having to suffer a rake of holier than thou publicity seeking media whores all vying to be the most concerned cunt on the night before heading off to the £1m after party!

    Fucking shills!

      • One thing’s for sure, if they had to advertise to get their money, their socio-liberal agenda would have to take a back seat.

        First few weeks the marketing meeting would be: “No we can’t advertise that because of the sugar content. Hmmm that doesn’t fit our code of conduct. That one could potentially be seen as being misogynistic. Doesn’t that one come across as a little ‘white’ to you?”

        Then 6 months down the line: “Tony’s in there now with the select committee. He’s managed to grease enough palms to get the casting votes, so as of 12 midnight the advertising ban on cigarettes will be lifted. Only we know and so we’ve got Benny Hedges, Malborough and Rothmans lined up for 00:00:01 tomorrow. We’ll get the jump on those ITV bastards! Children in Need!?! What the fuck!?! I thought Channel 4 was taking that on along with the Raspberry Olympics?? Nah fuck ’em, can’t we just get Peter Kaye to do another fucking record and give them the money from that? We’ll even advertise it ourselves – off peak of course, don’t you go anywhere near a Strictly or Eastenders slot! And we’ll knock 20% off the advertising fee…no, make that 10%…and I’m cutting my own throat on that deal!”

        Yeah soon as the beeb has to foot the bill
        for this cunt-fest it would sharp disappear up its own arsehole or become a 5 minute slot on the One Show!

      • A couple of days ago the BBC announced the biggest expansion in the world service
        since the1940’s According to them expansion is as a result of more funding from the government.
        They will be broadcasting in new languages such as Igbo, Yoruba and Pidgin.
        Pity the cunts can’t spend some money on some decent programmes.

    • A couple of years ago i bought some Rizlas in GiB. I had them in my hand as i left the shop and like Starskey and Hutch, a GiB cop car screeched to ta halt and two cops got out.
      They took me into the leisure centre and searched me for weed.
      I never had any on me , and when they asked why i bought them, i said had a massive bag of weed in Spain, and when i get home , i’m going to get fucked, now give me my passport back and see you later.
      Bunch of doss cunts……

      I was 39 at the time.
      Quality polis……

  6. It’s a load of old fucking bollocks, I remember when the kids were at school and everyone HAD to dress up and were FORCED TO PAY to join in, because of course if your child didn’t they were laughed at and teased. What about the fucking parents who can’t feed and clothe their own children? Fucking celebrity cunts. Stuff children in need where the sun don’t shine, and I am sure this year it will be even worse with the demise of Saint Terry of Wogan. blagh, puke, nope not me thank you.!

    • True. I certainly won’t be watching any of that shite incase it leads to a sugar overdose. I hate the way cuntish slebs act like the new messiah and try to lead by their own ego-example and equally cuntish schools that actually force their kids to take part in this crap. Charity is like religion…it’s a cunt and what other people do and how they interpret it is up to them, but they need to cunt out when they start forcing it on people with their subliminal “you WILL feel guilty about it” agenda. Fuck that.

      Life is a ball of shit as it is, and keeping a roof over your own head is hard enough. I don’t buy into all these wank adverts and their emotional blackmail visuals as it’s a very cynical marketing agenda to dupe gullible sheep into parting with cash that no doubt, they can’t afford to part with. It won’t solve a thing, especially in Africa. Reminds me of this old one…

      “Mwenga is a nine year old African orphan who is half blind, only has one leg, is completely deaf with deformed arms and has to try and pedal twenty miles a day to school on a bicycle with no seat, buckled wheels and flat tyres. Please donate just £5 and we’ll send you the footage…it’s fucking hilarious!”

    • It was pretty bad at work today,being asked to buy cakes every five minutes, one lot were pink and made of Rice Krispies, they looked like fucking warts. We had a “dress down” day as well, why do thick cunts get so excited about being allowed to wear their own clothes?

    • That wasn’t bad.., I thought that Ian Dury song Chas did was really funny. Probably tribute record worthy too

  7. Like most of my fellow cunters I suspect, my TV will definitely not be tuned into ABBC tonight.
    It’s a night of shit with the usual cunts acting the cunt and expecting me and you to cough up our hard earned.
    That plus the Z list slebs taking a nice fee for self promotion.

  8. I well remember a few years back , as part of my job , breaking into a detached semi-rural cottage , only to find the maggot infested , decomposing body of an elderly woman . There were a number of houses within 50 -100 yards of the dwelling . Not one of this woman’s stalwart neighbours had seen fit to enquire of her well-being , even though she had suddenly stopped appearing outside of her house. When talking to one of the neighbours , I noticed framed photographs of the children of the house posing with their grinning parents , suitably fancy dressed , as some participants in a T V charity cunt fest . When I asked why they hadn’t been concerned for the well-being of their elderly neighbour , they replied , “We don’t really bother with her “. CUNTS..
    Obviously no kudos , fun , or self – proclaiming goodness to be had .
    I really despair. The currency of everyday , human kindness really is At a premium.

    • Who cares for the elderly anymore? Plenty of news stories saying the NHS is fucked because people are living longer, and the money pit they have been throwing their and earned cash into for fifty odd years doesn’t want to keep to their end of the bargain. Not enough housing because old cunts, who slaved to buy them, won’t give them up for some scrounging twat with nine kids. The inconsiderate old bastards even have the audacity to vote, no doubt leading to world war three, and the collapse of mankind, the wrinkly old facist racist gits. I love being lectured by some snowflake pissbag, with the life experience of a fucking mayfly. Fuck children in need, no doubt another opportunity for that fringey witch Claudia Winkleman to show the world how vapid she is. Cunt.

  9. Children are in need.
    In need of a better world, coz this ones sucks donkey balls.

    But then again, maybe they’re too far gone………..

    • His wife’s agreed to to do a deep-throat marathon with me in aid of Children in Need… I agreed to £10 for every inch past her tonsils…thinks she stands to make £100.. Little does she realise that I plan back- door,she’ll get her £100 by by fuck she’ll have earned it.

  10. I’d like to cunt two adverts.

    1) The latest Audi advert which looks half decent until you get the godawful breathy whiny warblings of Homeward Bound in the background which kills it! (Apparently sung by Gina Kushka – did NOT put that voice with that face).

    2) The Amazon add where two “friends” buy each other a pair of knee braces. If you haven’t seen it yet I’m sure it’ll make you vomit.

    • Fucking amazon would be better spending their ill gotton gains on finding the lens I ordered and paid for 3 weeks ago. Fucking cunts. That advert is so wrong on so many levels who do they pay to think up such shite. I would be happy to have a crack at a cunty advert for them and would only charge my flat hourly rate. The advert will be total shit and it would cost them a hell of a lot less. Win win all round what.

      • I think it’s an ABBC crew that come up with it – to suit their socio-liberal leanings – as practice for when we decide that we’re no longer going to pay for the privilege of being dictated to by a set of cunts and they have to do advertising to pay their way.

        Those adds will be shite and so they’ll have to sell out with ads like:

        “Hardy’s Cabernet-Rohypnol. Are you gettin’ yours?”

        “Trivago Dignitas – sometimes it’s better to not tell them where they’re going!”

        “We Care Funeral Services – we’ll line our pockets, not your coffin!”

        “ – we’ll make sure you find the right worker for any home improvement job and guarantee they’ll only knick a few things!”

        “Take two bottles into the shower? Not me! I like to drink Gordon’s Gin and tonic in the bath.”

        “Accident at work? Trip over in a public place? Better go to Specsavers then you blind cunt!”

        “The new Audi A6 with quattro drive – so your neighbours know you’re as much of a cunt as them!”

        “AIDS! For the man who has everything.”

        I could go on. This is too easy!

      • Very, very good Rebel, almost choked on my horlicks!!
        Keep it up Sir you are making a knackered old cunt very happy.

      • I am that old man! I certainly feel it anyway.

        “I never knew you could cook raw chicken or turkey straight from the freezer! Iceland, making your Christmas diarrhea cheaper.”

        “Over 50? Yes? Do you have any life insurance to save your family the burden of a nasty shock after your passing? No? Give a shit? No? Visist Riley’s BMW and blow the lot before those greedy leaches can get their hands on it!”

  11. Fuck, that’s the telly shite tonight then! didn’t know children in need was on tonight! DVD players broken to.
    I’ll pop the laptop on and have a wank instead tonight whilst drinking me ales.

  12. I don’t have a problem with unaccompanied “children” suddenly having twenty or thirty “family” members appear….
    After all it is our Christian Duty to reunite them immediately… In their own bloody country of course! Round them up, crate them up and ship them out. How much does a one way goat class ticket cost anyway? After all if they are lucky we will even have the plane land before dropping them off.

  13. I loathe this annual bleeding heart shite from the Savile sheltering cunts, but this year is going to feature that sack of shit, Lineker, more than usual, and no doubt Lily Mong will rear her ulgly mug tonight… What else, I wonder?… Some X-Factor poove (Young or Murs), some soap cunts from NeverEnders trying to be ‘funny’, BBC cunting newsreaders doing a ‘song and dance’ routine for the umpteenth time, some tuneless slappers (Little Mix or some shite), those token dyke cunts, Mel and Sue, and that Paddy doughnut puncher, Norton, mincing about… What a load of shite…

    And I wonder how much money is going to the ‘chiildren’ of the Calais Shitheap who were last seen in Croydon?… Those Children In Need cunts will get fuck all out of me… Fuck them…

  14. Better BBC related news… Spike’s ‘Q’ series and Till Death Us Do Part will be out on DVD soon… These two will be big sellers, but the cunts won’t ever repeat them on TV because they’ll offend the ‘But, but… It’s racist!’ snowflake twats…
    I’ll be getting both anyway… I don’t watch anything on BBC or ITV any more… I even boycott MOTD now, because of that Lineker cunt…

    And UFO is also coming out too… Gabrielle Drake… Say no more…

  15. The only complaint I have about my kid’s primary school is that the career PUBLIC SERPENTS that run the school shove this shit on my kids every year, forcing them into wearing their nightclothes to school (fucking weirdos) and forcing me to contribute to this shit, or risk ostrocising my kids.
    The cunts even had a collection for the vermin at calais. Thankfully, hardly any parents supported the calais collection , although in hindsight I could have sent a box of poison or noose making instructions.
    Pink floyd got it right in their lyrics “hey teacher, leave those kids alone”. Just a shame it didn’t stop them sporning the next lot of memorial watering (Roger Water’ing) fuck-pigs.
    Love their music, hate their fucking kids

    • Making them wear nightclothes to school makes them paedophiles where I come from.
      How come nobody’s reported it to the rozzers? Seems to be the only fucking thing they investigate these days…

      • Sorry, they don’t force them directly, they just say they can, but what child wants to be the only one in normal clothes. Kids are ruthless to their peers.
        We just togged our 2 in normal clothes with PJs over the top.
        Still, charity should be directed at adults not kids, especially in a school enviroment with all that peer pressure.

  16. children in need feed a wog for life .fuck em.Didnt st.wogan earn a pile out of that shite?Charities can take a large fuck off tablet .Theyre about as credible as Billy Graham or those mooney scientologist cunts…..Has anyone seen the size of that scientol.mansion nr. east grinstead sussex.?Fuck me!I wish I could get a bunch of insecure mug cunts to buy me a drum.

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