I got threatened about waking up the jailbird’s precious daughter last November. Before the school holidays had finished they complained about my kids bring up at 10.00 saying that their precious little criminal cunt was getting into a routine to go back to school. Two nights later when the little cunt was presumably at her auntie’s the thug wankstain cunt was drilling the walls at ten past two in the morning. My smart daughter recorded it. The next night when my kids were asleep I could hear the cunt mini-chav yawping at 11.30 at night.
Just to give you some idea of what an anti-social nuisance I am, I am a 62 year old single parent doing the best I can for two children. Yes I shouldn’t have had kids at my age but I didn’t realise I was going to be left rowing the boat whilst my cunt missus was drilling holes in the stern. I’m not complaining though. I’ve worked all my life and paid tax. I’m not a nuisance.
The chavs next door have got no obvious signs of earning an income, drive a better car than me and are all round piss takers. I’ll have to have a word with the cunt’s probation officer because the chav twat’s out on licence for house breaking and battering women. They can wait.
Summat shit’ll happen to them. Cunts.
Nominated by: Alan Fistula
I hate my neighbours because they are the most inconsiderate, selfish, unreasonable bunch of bastards you could ever have the misfortune to come across. They block my drive, park on my front garden and generally abuse me at every opportunity.
They love doing exactly what they like, whenever they like, and have absolutely no respect for my property.
Pretty much everything in the following song is true!
Nominated by: Chas C
I have a terrible neighbour for 15 years until we moved. He harassed everyone in the street. Mainly women, easy targets for him.
I found the best way to contain him was to confront him every time he pissed the misses off. So I became a pain in the ass to him and things calmed down. I encouraged her to take the piss out of him rather than be afraid.
Under bully cunt
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we had a neighbour last year who decided he needed to rev his bike at 5000rpm every morning at 7am for 10 minutes (cunted him at the time)
We live in a cul-de-sac (nice area, all detacthed) with just one way out, and he always roared out like he was Barry ‘fucking’ Sheene.
One morning I asked him to tone it down a bit upon which he gave the Boaby a bit of lip telling me to mind my own.
my reply was,
‘Keep that shit up and I’ll cut your cables, although I am not sure which is the throttle and which is the brake, so it will be a nice surprise’
They moved out about 3 months later 🙂
We now have an older couple who are quiet as mice, happy days!
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I don’t get the ones who do that, I have a bike and just let it idle for a couple of minutes or so before setting off.
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If you have an empty house next door you may get some of the children from Calais living next door. The refugees welcome banner on the front of the house and loads of left social worker type cunts touring the area are a give away.
Now when your new neighbours arrive they may look older than 16, but that’s because a 10 year old living in the Jungle camp ages faster and can look like a 25 year old somalin man even though in reality they are a small girl.
Lets all celebrate the governments capitulation to the guardian reading left cunts of the country.
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Liberal logic Sixdog If you believe it to be true then it is true https://imgflip.com/i/1cr328
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My neighbors are great no funny business at all and they are all respectable, law abiding and white 🙂
Although where I live cows are my main neighbors so the smell of cow shite is a given though a minor inconvenience compared to chavs or thugs
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I saw the title and was appalled, I thought that you meant the Australian soap opera.
Now,as a rule, I can’t abide Australians,loud,brash,bad losers,ignorant,arrogant wankers,but they do know how to get some totty into their soap operas. Neighbours and Home and Away give the impression that the country is crawling with hot,thick goers who aren’t averse to a bit of afternoon delight. They certainly put the sour faced old bags in our soap operas to shame. The only problem is that whiny accent,still I suppose I could just leave her ball-gag in after I was done.
Kylie Minogue is safe mind, I like a bit of meat on the bone,and I’m not sure her bony frame would be able to withstand a good reaming from an Englishman. She should stick to Australiian men,they seem to go for the “boyish” look,and all have very small cocks.
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Neighbours are cunts ,but neighbours who are cunts are even bigger cunts at the weekend.
Today its raining which means the three year old sand nigger will not be getting taken the park today and i have to listen to the little cunt stomp his feet up and down the hallway all day in between throwing shit about (crash,bang,wallop).
Through all this his muzzy cunt of a mother will be shouting at him all day in Arabic and moving furniture around .
I know that some counters might think me a bit harsh,having a go at a three year old , but he really is that loud and l’ve never let age get in the way of hatred.
I cant do anything civilised , like ask them to be quiet as they’re cunts and i want them dead ( yes it’s gone that far) and we are not allowed to communicate until our court date, so basically I’ve been muted… ….
Hope you all have a nice Sunday,and if you can, piss off a neighbour for me
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It’s possible to get all manner of live rodents and insects now,apparently people who keep snakes and lizards use them as feed. Wait till the cunts are out for the day and tip a live rat or a box of roaches through a window or letter-box. Preferably the brats room,that should give the cunts something to think about.
Keep us up to date on your court appearance, Birdman. Good luck.
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The Neighbours telly tarts would turn out the odd pop ditty as I remember. That Natalie Imbroglio allegedly got herself into an embarrassing situation and sang a song about the experience:
I’m cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
She said she Torn all because DF fixed her back box with his tail pipe.
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So Torn isn’t about the exploitation and abuse of Lions? This changes everything… https://imgflip.com/i/fyqxz
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I like to feed the pigeons from my kitchen window(hence my name) , and i get about 20-30 a day feeding and watering. It gives me great pleasure helping my feathered friends, but i think the best thing is all the bird shit that gets dropped all over my neighbours windows and sills .
PS. I also have 7 budgies……………
Biiirdmaaan………….
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Best I can suggest is find a defective homing pigeon gene, inject it into the cunts then they’ll fuck off and not come back.
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I had a neighbour in Glasgow who owned a Porsche and was some banker type of cunt!!! He used to start his car right outside my window at 5 am every morning and rev the bollocks off it …. he got upset when I confronted him and asked if the reason he had a Porsche was because he couldn’t afford a Ferrari, he also got the hump when I dropped my trousers and left a big steaming turd on his bonnet ….. the cunt!!!
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Took me ages to clean that up , ya bam.
And its pronounced porshaaaaaa……
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the neighbours either side of me are as good as gold. never hear a peep from them. unfortunately in the next few weeks they are both moving! so i’m just hoping to fuck the new people are going to be ok. in my previous place i had an upstairs neighbour who made my life a misery i really dont need that again. i’ll keep you posted.
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Ah, that nervous time when next door is lying empty and you don’t know what you’re getting.
Been there.
Chances are they will be cunts,coz your old ones were nice, karma works like that.
Anyway i wish you well and hope yous enjoy some BBQ and wife swapping………
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Being brought up in a reasonably Christian manner, to give a man a cloak as well if he asks for a blanket, I oblige when my chav neighbours or usually their trainee criminal child, ask to borrow things, to date: drill, screwdrivers, strimmer, extension lead, wheel brace, motor oil, cigarette lighter et al. I asked for help once ehen my children were sick and to be fair they obliged but felt compelled to compare it to the time that I bailed them out with petrol when the silly, allegedly female, Waynetta ran out of fuel outside Argos. I’m “nice”, I keep them sweet and expect nothing from them but I just know they are the sort to keep score with a vengeance and wreak endless aggressive arguments out of what little they do for anyone. Time was you and your neighbours would look out for each other, now it’s every man for himself, what’s yours is mine and fuck you. That’s why my chav neighbours are cunts. And he’s a pervert because why anyone who’s been to one of HM Fitness Centres would want to fuck a 33 year old hag who looks 55 if a day, is beyond me. Still. if you’re into stretch marks aand sagging skin it must be a joy. Cunts.
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My neighbour is a cunt, he won’t let me shag his missus.
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Don’t talk to me about cunt neighbours, because I have had my fill! Unfortunately, I live in a lovely village, where fuctards live. You know the types….
The ones that need to know every buggar’s business,
The “I fucking own the place” twats, who think their shit doesn’t stink,
And Cock Wombles who cannot reverse up or down the narrow country line, incase it scratches their fucking Land Rover.
Anyway, neighbours. Take my neighbour, (Please, take her, preferably away in a hearse.) She is in her late 70’s and is a nasty, bullying, sly, old bastard. She likes nothing more than goading you into an argument so she can call the police. She sweeps her weeds and shit in front of our gate in the hope that we will come outside to row with her and she can pretend to be the victim. She lies and spreads rumours and then hides behind her cunting daughter, and granddaughter, who are just as sly and devious….They do say if there is something wrong with the bitch, there will be something wrong with the pup…this is so true in their case. You would think at her age, she would do something constructive…. like price up the local crematorium and a wooden box! As she stands there with her hands on her hips and shit coming out of her mouth, as she is trying to instigate another fight, I have a little smile to myself. You see her 55 year old daughter has 3 kids by 3 different fathers (Although she says they are her ex husband’s)
Has attended swingers parties, had a foursome with her best friend and is a telephone sex worker! How do I know this? Unfortunately im related to the saggy breasted cock muncher! Those bitches have more skeletons in their cupboard than what the local cemetery holds.
Last year, after she was trying to get my mam to have a row with her, I told her to go and tell her granddaughter who her fucking father was….She had no idea we knew and needless to say, her expression resembled that of President Kennedy when he got fucking shot! At the moment she looked like she was about to take the biggest shit and it would of turned white with fright. It was priceless. I long for the day the old twat fucks off this mortal coil, as I will run down the road bollock naked, except for a pair of bright red titty tassles, singing “Ding Dong, The Fucking Witch Is Dead!”
Am I a bitch for posting this? No im a cunt…and I think one cunt deserves another.
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