Cyclists [5]


Cyclists are total and utter bell-ends. They seem to think that they own the bloody road,pedalling along in groups making overtaking virtually impossible. They jump red lights,ignore road signs and get quite snippy when you pull up in front of them to get out and explain to them what you think of their bellendery.

Well,you wannabe Bradley Wiggenses,you can all fuck off with your cunt-containing lycra, foreskin helmets and general total wanker attitude.

As for the prick who told me this morning that he had my” threatening behaviour” on camera,you’re just lucky that you don’t have a fucking good view of your lower digestive tract on camera.

Nominated by: Dick Fiddler

I fucking loathe the Lycra benders. They use the dual carriageway by me for time trials, the zoned out cunts. These pricks then think that the road, a busy main A road, is just for them, and traffic should give them all consideration and right of way. All these pricks care about is their time, so road positioning and indicating, or any of the rules of the road go out the fucking window, the riding four abreast cunts.

Pushbikes, especially those ridden by a pointy hatted, immac legged ponce, should not be allowed on a road where they have to compete with 70 mph traffic.

Team sky? Team cunt more like.

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye

32 thoughts on “Cyclists [5]

  1. I grew up on Boxhill surrey, as a kid I would cycle to dorking or michaelham on my Raleigh grifter and back, later I got a racer with 5 speeds (and no ball crushing events).
    It saddened me that my now 70 year old mother has got to the stage she is thinking of leaving the village that has now become beseiged by these wannabe olympions who have made normal road use dangerous.
    The village has a few shops so a comute to “civilisation” is necessary, so the influx of the cyclists may be good for the National Trust but not for the locals.

  2. Fuck it……, OK ,cyclists are cunts ,apart from Boaby and myself . jeez give it a rest now ,eh…….
    Not one bit of Lycra in the pic though, i wonder where they go ?…..

    • Well said mate!
      Let these fat obese cunts rot in their own feculence whilst eating McDonalds, KFC, Burger King and wanking over Internet porn in their stagnant armchairs 🙂
      They’ll all be dead by 55 anyway, then we will have the whole road to ride upon !

  3. On a semi related theme I want to cunt uninsured drivers. Cunts cost us law abiding premium payers far too much. And what happens when they get caught ? their shitty car gets taken away and scrapped and they get a slap on the wrist fine.
    Why not find out what their insurance premium would have been then double it and fine them the total. At present the fine seems to be less than the premium would be. If they get away with it they have had a touch as they pay less in fines than they would have in premiums.
    Also ban the cunts from the road and if all else fails hang the cunts.
    By the way cyclists are cunts and any found on the pavement or going through red lights should also suffer death by hanging.

  4. Cyclists are cunts to be sure or is it just the self righteous ones who ride around seemingly daring baiting motorist to one them over. There are roads where cycling during rush hour is dangerous and causes tailbacks as people try and squeeze past them or wait for a gap to overtake that can cause a tailback miles long. There at the front of the queue is mr cunty and his helmet cam waiting to upload a video of some prat in a car when he himself is the main cause of danger.

    Double cunting for the silly cunts who load a bay into a contraption and tow it around beind them on the road. Are these cunts totally insane?

  5. Any cunt who doesn’t pay road tax is a non road tax paying cunt . cunts who don’t pay road tax are the most evil of all non tax paying cunts . what we should do to people who don’t pay road tax is fill potholes with the innards of cunts that don’t pay road tax, rewrite road signs with the blood of cunts who don’t pay road tax, erect hard shoulders with the bones of cunts who don’t pay road tax and clear foggy highways with the ghosts of cunts who don’t pay road tax..road tax ,road tax ,road tax …..let’s get back to Muslim cunting. Especially the Muslim cunts that don’t pay road tax…..non road tax paying cunts….

  6. We have a bendy narrow bit of road near our village. It has a safe cycle track on one side. The cunts still cycle on the road holding up traffic. They truly are cunts.

  7. Let’s stop calling it road tax.
    Some of the biggest cars on the road are these hybrids, that are clearly heavier than a lot of vehicles, yet pay little or no road tax.
    Emissions tax….plain and simple….

  8. It’s not called road tax, it’s called Vehicle Excise Duty. It is the machine that is taxed not the use of the roads.

    • Thanks for taking the time and putting me right on that…..I hope it hasn’t made you late for that hair splitters convention…

      • Hey I’m no fan of cyclists I prefer my bicycle to have an engine but so many people bang on about this mythical “road tax”

      • And I suppose the TV licence fee isn’t a tax either. A rose by any other name….

  9. Maybe if UK universities spent less time educating wogs from overseas and more time educating British nationals we would not have to hire workers from abroad.

    Just another wild idea…..

  10. And here is another wacky idea;

    An end to the the civil war in Syria would be far easier to achieve if Western powers and our dear dear friends in Saudi Cuntabia stopped arming the so called rebels ( terorists) and started suporting the legitimate government.

    Where do I get them all from?

  11. Cheeky thieving cunts have to be cunted,

    Now I like my Chilli and hot food and I have spent the summer growing loads of chilli’s (Jalapeño, Serrano to name a couple) I have already had a nice crop and now there are some proper ones left which I will use up. Many a cunt has walked past and admired them and probably thought to themselves ‘I want to nick a couple’ anyways I noticed a couple of Paki women stop by the front (south facing) garden where my prized Chilli’s are growing. They were spending a bit too much time there anyways they fucked off. I had a bit too much Coke last night after a piss up after the Lodge meeting and I didn’t get up till late. Anyways I’m in my boxers wandering around the house and the Paki women stop at the fucking garden again this time with some kids, what happens next? One of the women walks into MY garden and picks two of my Chilli’s and offers it to the other woman no doubt thinking I’ll then get some for myself. I lift up the Blinds and say leave it or some shit in my still a bit wasted state. Anyways the two cunt women and their kids walk off, I know where one of them lives and I will be having words when their kids aren’t about, and when I can think properly. I have been thinking about this a lot now and I can’t believe the front of some cunts. I don’t give fuck if someone nicks from a big company or whatever but don’t steal from other people you cunts. It’s not like Chilli’s cost a fortune is it? If one of the women had knocked the door and sucked my knob then asked for some I may have let them have some. You don’t go in someone’s garden and help yourself that is being a cunt.

    • If your looking for any leads on the pepper thieves ,look up a man called Peter Piper, he’s always at it……….PS ” the Lodge” ?……..

      • Cheeky thieving cunts. Maybe you should practice a bit of sharia and chop the cunt’s hand off. And then stone her to death.

      • Thieving Gunga Din curry breath cunts… Get a huge fuck off doberman and get it to bite their thieving wallah arses… Jeldi….

      • I thought it may have been the Orange lodge , Black and White and Orange cunt it would have to of been then….hey hey….

      • @Birdman, not involved in all that Orange men stuff. Dont really know what that’s all about to be honest.

      • Thank fuck for that, all you need to know about them is that they’re a bunch of cunts. I come from a long line of Freemasons,but have never been interested myself….. Still know your handshake though. Coz my family are masons every other one i met thought i was one too and would always greet me with the handshake…. Daft cunts….

  12. Here in the US taxpayer-funded “bike trails” are all over the cities and suburbs, linking cities, forest preserves and providing a safe place to ride OFF THE ROADS. Of course the Lycra set NEVER use these as it would interfere with their “sport” and hurt their “time”- as if most do any racing. They’ll ride abreast on both sides of the road (against the law, and clearly posted ) with an air of superiority since they own the road; I’ve seen these idiots defecate in the middle of a road.

    Every once in a great while a lucky soul enjoys seeing these cunts get their karmic comeuppance- when someone in the pack tumbles and those following behind go down like dominoes.

  13. I hate being held up by cyclists or – more recently – combined harvesters.

    However on Saturday there was an element of karma as a cyclist was stuck behind a combined harvester with all the dust, etc., pissing out and into said cyclist’s face.

    This was on a twisty uphill bit of a single carriageway where – when being held up by said cyclists – you can sense the mirth in their peddling action as they know you have 500 more yards of this snail’s pace before the road opens sufficiently to allow a safe overtaking manoeuvre.

    Usually those 500yds irritate the hell out of me but watching Wiggo MkII cough & splutter his way up the hill (knowing full well he can’t overtake the combine either) makes it worth it!

  14. I have a word “pedestriclists” which are the cycling cunts who use the pavements, pedestrian areas, zebra and pelican crossings etc. There used to be a law which was that all cycles should have a nine inch white strip on the rear mudguard with a reflector placed on it. Dunno if it was ever superceded. Hope not then all pedestriclists would be doubly criminal cunts. These cunts are as bad as the fat spaz chariots. Walking out of the chemist I nearly got cleared up by a speeding pensioner riding too close to the shop front. Tax the cunts. Test them. Make them get insurance or no chariot and walk off some of the lard. Fat spaz cunts.

  15. When you are already a cunt by definition of riding a bike, competing to see how much shit you can inhale and jousting with fucking great lorries, why do you ned to seal the cuntstruckery by dressing like a fucking clown?
    Total wankers. Waste of spunk.

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