Absolute ’80s radio

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absolute-80s

I recently discovered this station using a radio app on my smartphone called rad.io. When I tried listening via their website, I got a “fuck off you’re not in the UK you cunt” type message which seemed a bit thick given accessing their station works perfectly well via my smartphone which, like myself, also happens to be in the US.

Still, no matter I’ll listen via ‘phone and enjoy it that way. Several days in and I’m hearing many of the ‘big’ ’80s hits, a few songs that I couldn’t quite place which was fun and the odd one which was quite obscure and probably a minor hit for a one-hit-wonder type band. A few weeks in and I’m hearing the same selection of big ’80s hits. Then other big hits by those same artists. I’m beginning to think that Absolute ’80s only plays the same 20 records pretty much in constant rotation with the occasional obscure one thrown in just to make it seem like they’re covering the whole of the ’80s. Which they’re not. There are plenty of massive ’80s songs which I’ve never heard nor even other ’80s songs by those same artists.

Back in the ’80s there was a practice called “hyping” which was exposed and frowned upon at the time. It worked like this. In any given week, 100s of new singles would be released by artists big and small, on record labels ranging from the big boys (EMI, MCA, CBS, Polydor, Warner, etc) to the small independents like Rough Trade, Beggars Banquet, 4AD, etc. The big labels employed cunts with expense accounts who would schmooze radio show producers with expensive meals, vacations, expensive gifts, even money in return for them programming their label’s artists’ singles into their radio shows. I clearly remember a Radio 1 DJ announcing they were playing Madonna’s True Blue single FOUR weeks before it was even released! Surprise surprise – huge hit when it finally hit the charts!

I suspect the labels of the big ’80s hits are at it again and greasing the wheels so cunts like Absolute ’80s play their stuff over and over again. Given the sheer volume of music which was released in that decade by such a diverse range of artists, it cannot be coincidence I keep hearing the same fucking songs by Lionel Richie, Madonna, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, The Police and Culture Club. All cunts.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

48 thoughts on “Absolute ’80s radio”

  1. great times the 80,s,great music,great girls,nobody gave a fuck about migrants or benefit claimers,great times I wish I had a time machine to go back its nowadays that’s a cunt for a million reasons

  3. I fucking hated the 80s. Shit music, the cold war, miners strike, Margret Thatcher and AIDS, porn still illegal, no internet and the birth of political correctness. Bunch of cunt, the 80s were.

    • I rather liked the 80s,I’d just left school,was making good money,had an LC350,a full head of hair,smart lass,and no idea just what shit lay ahead!!

      • Still plenty of them about, but not cheap any more. “Project” condition bikes (in other words heaps) can make four figure sums.

      • Bought mine new at Westgate Road,Newcastle….still remember the pride of having my first brand new bike….Fuck,they were good times,thinking back.

      • I saw one not too long ago that looked like new, all perfectly original. I got mine used, black with an under braced aluminum swinging arm. The fucker seized riding it back home after I’d bought it, oil pump fucked. Cost almost as much to repair as it cost to buy and my left hand became very twitchy after that.

      • By a curious coincidence, I’m about to start resurrecting an older air cooled RD250B for a chap that’s had it in his garage for about 20 years. All original paintwork but caked in dust end to end. Best dig out those Hawkwind albums for the correct workshop “ambience”…

      • Hawkwind’s great Dio but surely you mean Pirate Bay? cause why would you bloody buy them?! In Search of Space and Space Ritual are Ace records you should revisit those ones.

        Yeah they have a few crap albums but what band doesn’t? Their 90’s material is admittedly fucking weak piss but hawkwind rocks at their best

      • Chronicles of the Black Sword is my favourite album.
        Read just about all Moorcock’s books when I were a lad…

        Needle Gun is a great track.

    • ….RD250B …. if you don’t have the ignition key, …side panel off, fuse box cover off, join the first and the last wires in the fuse box …. ring-a-ding-ding ! You’re King Kenny ….

      • … don’t be alarmed, not a bike thief ( they are the scourge of the earth … had a couple of pride and joys pinched from me ), but I served my time in a bike shop and the amount of owners that would drop them of for a service then head off with their keys in their pockets …

      • It still has the key in the ignition, where it’s been since about 1989 or thereabouts. At least the fucker hasn’t seized coz the owner filled the engine with 2 stroke oil when he laid it up. Big clouds of smoke when I get it going…

      • Some Hawkwind stuff is ace, but admittedly some of it is also self indulgent wank. They should have called themselves “Carried By Lemmy and the Dancer with big tits”

  4. I cant think of anything great about the eighties never mind eighties music.
    I have music from the fifties through to the present but the only eighties stuff I’ve got is Talking Heads.
    If someone can remind me of a good song, then I’ll admit I’m wrong,but apart from the Stone Roses coming out in 89 ,I’d say the rest is definitely crap.
    The telly was good though…..

      • The 90s weren’t any better. In fact I don’t really remember much about the 90s at all.

      • I don’t remember the nineties either.
        Aciiid and weed put paid to that.
        If it wasn’t for my music collection I’d swear i wasn’t there…..

      • Biggest memories of the 90s…

        That “caring 90s” bullshit
        John Major (cunt)
        Tony Blair (double cunt)
        My first wife (uber cunt)
        and a gradually decreasing income.

      • The 80s were ace, well I was the right age for pop music (teens). The 90s sucked balls pretty much consistently.

      • Memories of the 90s:

        King Cantona
        Oasis (cunts)
        Blur (cunts)
        Those IRA cunts bombing Manchester
        X-Files (well, Scully anyway… Mulder was a cunt)
        Spice Girls (massive cunts)
        Take Fucking That (set of cunts, but points for sacking that fat poofter, Williams)
        Bill Clinton (super cunt)
        ZOO TV (Bono is a cunt)
        Austin Powers (Mike Myers is a fucking cunt)
        Fast Show (funny as fuck)
        Donna Ewin (fit as fuck)
        Inspiral Carpets (cool as fuck)
        Justine Frischmann (ugly as fuck)

      • Always thought that the inspirals were a top band with some great tunes.
        But Tom Hingley was a pretty piss poor front man with a weird lisp.

        Fucking pity. I reckon that’s what held them back.
        Met the whole band at a record signing before a gig in Northampton. Nice guys, but they couldn’t understand a word i was saying.
        Paper moon is my favorite track….
        MOOH

        PS. Forgot about new order.
        Maybe there were more tunes in the eighties than i though,but not a lot……..

      • Don’t know if anybody will read this, is kind of a late reply but good cunting imatation Yank I hate radio. There is alot of overlooked music from the 80’s tho but yes lots of stale radio cheese.

        Still it was a fucking hell of a lot better then the MOCO mainstream music that we have nowadays, that I’m certain of. The 80’s was like a bad hangover for aging 60’s & 70’s bands so thats why there was so much god awful junk.

        Moody Blues had a decent comeback with Long Distance Voyager And The present but it was obviously not as good as their classic era albums. Yes was a joke in the late 80’s but Drama was ace tho and 90125 was decent if somewhat weak. The Rolling Stones were crap too in the 80’s but I liked Steel Wheels

      • Queen’s ‘Hot Space’ was crap, but ‘The Works’ was a good album, Genesis with ‘Genesis’ Duke’ and Abacab’ were good, but ‘Invisible Touch’ was where they lost it… Bowie’s granny perm and ‘Let’s Dance’ period were the start of his decline, and out of the ex-Beatles, only George Harrison had a good go with ‘Cloud Nine’…. While the Moon-less Who put out the dreadfully bad ‘It’s Hard’…

        Agree about Yes, and I think they tried to much to be like ‘Synchronicity’ era Police… And The Stones were a busted flush after ‘Emotional Rescue’… Although Keef’s ‘Slipping Away’ off ‘Steel Wheels’ is a late classic…

        The good and bad of the 80s here… Bit of a misfire from Phil (Collins, that is), and plenty of 80s cheese… But the man drums like a motherfucker, superb drums…

      • Keef’s main offender album is pretty damn good but all Jagger’s solo albums are crap.

        With you on Cloud 9 especially Devils Radio. Still an album I frequent…

      • Rory was brilliant… Should have been Taylor’s replacement in The Stones instead of that plank, Ronnie Wood…

      • Harrison was always the underrated one… Almost all of Macca’s 80s output was crap (‘Press To Play’ and all that shite), while Lennon’s only 80s album (for obvious reasons) was audio syrup, and is now only revered because of his murder…

        I also like Keith’s solo stuff (‘Talk Is Cheap’ is a favourite) and Jagger’s albums are indeed crap… And the less said about Rod Stewart’s 80s stuff, the better…

        He only did one album in the 80s, but Scott Walker’s ‘Climate Of Hunter’ was a good one…

      • As much as I love the original line-up, The Byrds made some monumental shite later on… The McGuinn,Clark, Hillman team up attempted late 70s disco bollocks and grew mullets, while David Crosby went totally up his own coked up arse and bastardised ‘Lady Friend’ by putting horrendous 80s style poodle perm rock drums on the original track… They weren’t the only ones though..

        For a 60s group looking stupid in the 80s with a ‘goose stepping’ clapping machine, look no further… Why, boys?…

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QAvPpOpavY

  5. Forgot about the Bunnymen and Mac the mouth.
    There that’s it.

    And it was illegal to root the missus up the arse………

  6. I remember back in about 1986 thinking that Sam Fox was taking the piss doing disco italia music….Nowdays, I think she wasn’t actually that bad and it was good to see a working class girl getting on stage a giving it her best and nit taking herself too seriously. Compared to all the talentless wogs and manufactured yankee trash we got now like beponce and gayzee.

  7. Sabrina came on the scene when i was growing through puberty.
    One day i was playing football and the next I’m in my room blowing my mind and everything else over the cover to her single.

    She had a white basque on, and you could see her brown nipples through it.

    The first entry to the wankbank and its still vivid all these years later……

    And then the Kay’s catalogue wasn’t for toys and trainers anymore….

    • … Still brings a smile to my face of a tea-break tale from a bloke at work ..
      He’s laying on top of his bed as a youngster having a ‘nifty-fifty’ to the bra’s section of his mothers Kays catalogue…. a little later, he wakens up to the horror of his hand on his tadger, his tea on his bedside table, having been brought in by his mother while he slept … and the catalogue had flipped over to the sports equipment … ‘Bullworker’ page.

      • I pity the little cunts these days. Kays catalog day was up there with Christmas, birthday, bonfire night and mischief night. Only you got 2 Kays days a year instead of just one of the rest.

        I never really rated Easter. Big deal, you got a chocolate egg. A bit too Gody for my tastes too, even when I was a nipper I could see through that little scam.

  8. No doubt the high command at absolute radio will be recieving plenty of cocaine and bum sex in return which their accounts will detail as flowers and hospitality. Corrupt cunts.

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