The Paralympics is a cunt because there’s no decent events. Someone mentioned on here the thalidomide javelin contest. The morbidly obese high diving would have been a good event too and I’ve always fancied seeing Tourette’s Weight Lifting having thrown out a random “BASTARD!” and “CUNT!” meself when lifting heavy objects such as the odd piano. I’m cheerfully spaggy as well now with a lame foot, progressive deafness and cataracts not to mention other shit. Having bronchiectasis, I fancied competing in the blow football competition should it have been an event. I can hear the commentary: “There’s some phlegm on the pitch, they think it’s all over…..cough splat!”
Nominated by: Alan Fistula
I can admire some of the events in the paralympics like armless archery, wheelchair basketball, or legless sprinting but some of it I just don’t get. How does having a missing hand impair bike riding or being a dwarf stop you swimming?
Which brings me on to Ellie Simmonds. There’s something about her overbearing arrogance that just gets right up my hooter!
Mind you, if there was a dwarf throwing contest with her as the dwarf, I’d pay to watch that…
Nominated by: Dioclese