Automatic tipping


Automatic tipping is a cunt. Got a taxi the other day, fucking non English speaking paki as per fucking usual, car falling to bits and smelled like 3 week old kipper vindaloo, not only did the cunt not know my hotel ( big hotel ) he couldn’t even use the GPS he had or the radio to call dispatch for assistance. He took the millionaire option and phoned a friend and eventually we got there. Did he expect a tip? Yes he most certainly did and was very specific about it too, suddenly the cunt decided he did speak English after all; “You give 15%, I no go wrong way ” So the cunt expected a tip because he didn’t try to fuck me? Fuck off you cunt!

I have no objection to giving a good tip if I receive good service, but it has to be fucking good. Simply doing an OK job isn’t good enough. If you want a good tip, here it is; learn to fucking type you lazy cunt!

Nominated by: Fat Rich

I do a lot of cruising and it really gets up my nose when they add $10 per person per day ‘optional gratuity’ to my bill ‘for my convenience’. That’s a fucking lot of money on a three week trip!!!

I’ve never been embarrassed to ask them to remove it – sometimes several times before it actually happens! Include it in the upfront price and stop taking me for a cunt, you cunts!

Nominated by: Dioclese

19 thoughts on “Automatic tipping

    • Interesting. See:

      Some really pretty towns and we did take the precaution of booking a bloody great big suite with a bay window because we knew it would be dark a lot of the time. Having said that, when the sun doesn’t rise at all, you still get a sort of twilight. The skys were really nice and when we did wander around town it was cold and snowing but still very enjoyable.

      Got some good photos. Met some nice people – and some twats of course! Mrs D had a great birthday. The restaurant staff danced round the table and sang the Norwegian version of happy birthday. All in all, not bad but the lights were disappointing and impossible to photograph with out some serious kit!!

      Anyhow, to make up for the cold we’re off through the Panama Canal in January…

  1. My friend just got back from Rome, eight of them went for a meal and when they got the bill the tip was included. As my friend left the waiter opened the door for them and he had a face like a slapped ass so my friend asked him what was up, ‘you didn’t leave a tip’ he said, my friend said but it’s included, ‘ah but we don’t get to see any of that the owners keep it’ said the waiter. Even if that were true my friend only fucking fell for it and gave him even more money.

    I would like to nominate my friend as a cunt!

    • So the cunting will be called my friend seems irrelevant and low in detail maybe you’re friend is a cunt italians gouge gullible tourists like your friend. Speaking of cunting nominations where is my Thom yorke cunting Dio has it been denied?

      • Not A Chance Clown Boy! please stop being a poof/mr. know it all. I was hardly criticising your friend but the lame story in general and the fact nobody knows who he is.

      • Case and point regarding your posts, all you really have are insults and as poor and clumsy as they are you generally at least spell them correctly, heavens knows you are devoid of intellect so are just angry i’m better than you, now move swiftly on and I am thoroughly encouraging you to try and achieve your only real chance of a goal in life failing your attempt at being a supermarket trolley mong, the Darwin award, you have my best wishes at success 🙂

      • PS, I will want payment via paypal for any further help regarding your poor replies, you don’t deserve my tuition for free as you are such a social interaction basket case, feel free to look up everything i’ve written on google and still get it wrong as is your MO, you have failed, everyone that knows you has failed in your rehabilitation, tictoc here comes that train…..whooooshhhhhhhhhhhhh 🙂

  2. fucking dirty stinking paki taxi driving cunts,i had a ding dong with one the other day as he avoided the taxi lane and opted to sit in traffic and then did 22mph in a thirty until I pointed out he was a coffee coloured cunt and wouldn’t be getting paid unless he made up the time,hey preston 45mph in a taxi lane and a short cut I wasn’t aware of,when we got to my destination the meter said £16.75 I would normally chuck him £20 but luckily I could make it up in change,and then this goat fucker asked what about my tip to which I replied don’t stick your hand in the back of the telly cunt.
    they make me sick they drive like its the fucking gran prix when they are empty and then when they have someone in the back they think havnt noticed they take the piss,so not onlyare they ripping somone off I get stuck behind the cunt as well…..cunts the lot of them,so no to auto tipping

  3. Reminds me of a boat trip on the Thames. Paid before boarding of course, then they announce over a microphone to their captive audience that they’ll be passing round a basket for gratuities. And how would they earn this extra money? By allowing us to get off when the trip was finished? Hard-faced cunts. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect to see in places like Thailand. When your fellow countrymen do it, it’s embarrassing.

  4. I would like to cunt danny dyer due to him being a monumental cunt with chrismass decorations on and also some wanker from Russia who is suing a computer games company because he has lost his job and wife due to playing the game non stop for months making him a syber cunt but both CUUUUUUNTs in my book

  5. Isn’t Automatic tipping illegal( It fucking should be) what the fuck is this shite? 9$ on a $45 service? I thought the whole point of tipping is voluntary as tipping is by definition a voluntary act on the part of the customer. I’m usually too cheap to tip unless they do a really fucking good job. I don’t believe in tipping like Mr.Pink!

      • Haha too true KC….damn them undercovers….

        In times more civilised and naive of what was to come, gay was gay, carrier bags were for shopping, and cruising meant cruising….

        Thankfully some gentlemen still have a sense of humour, but trollymongs will always be trollymongs, on the plus side they will always add hilarity to a gentleman’s sense of humour, but very little else other than sheer pity lol.

  6. Automatic tipping is a well deserved cunting. Thankfully I do not see too much of it here in provincial Sydney, Australia. I never tip anyone simply because it is expected of me. What a rort! I have always been led to believe that the word tip is an acronym for the words To Improve Performance. Whether true or not I don’t know, but I also never tip just for a skirt, pair of legs or simply because a waitress has a fine pair of norgs either – however I will probably celebrate and endorse the joint’s recruitment policy.
    No, forget about automatic tipping. Money should not be devalued by simply splashing it around like a bookie after the Saturday races. Especially on immigrants upon whom the subtleties and nuance of service, courtesy and gratitude are as foreign as their doubtlessly forged curriculum vitae.

  7. Now in the good/bad old days of the old job, I recall a dash back from hamburg to my place of abode.
    Firstly the driver played shit German country and western.
    On asking him to change station, he claimed not to understand German or English
    Eventually on the autobahn, noticing that the car in front had 4 back light’s I suggested he might like to pull over,
    Now I had asked politely in my best german.
    He came out with some, cant stop on the autobahn stuff.
    So in English, I said “I’m just going to have to puke all over your cab then”
    He did a most amazing stop, freed from German C/W and shit air fresheners, I was able to retain my meal of beer, schnapps, and thai pusy juice and possibly a Giros.
    I was able to make my way to the boar fence, make the desired sounds and return to my carage for a tip less journey!

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