Monthly Archives: September 2015

L S Lowry

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Talking of useless artists: LS Fucking Lowry, as his poor former friends knew him, should be up for a good cunting. Jesus Christ inna basket! I could do better with a tar brush and five gallons (Imp.) of distemper. If matchstick men, cats and fucking dogs was the best he could manage he should have stuck to lime-washing outside bogs for a pass time and save us having to listen to jumped up toffee nosed twats banging on about: the tonal quality, the textures and the gritty realism. It’s all fucking crap; the King is naked, open your eyes and smell the coffee people.

Not only, but also, he left those two cockney twats an opening to make their cheery-chappy, lov-a-londoner, darn-saarf foot stomper. Stomp on their fucking necks given half a chance. Perhaps Spaz-n-Drivel should be put on community service lime-washing outside shitholes and let a tribute band take their place. Fuck knows there’s enough talentless cockney wankers to fill their shoes.

Nominated by: King Cnut

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

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Maharishi Mahesh Yogi – what a cunt!

I don’t trust those indian guru cunts and a lot of them fiddle small boys. That whole Transcendental Meditation sounds like a load of shite. I’m surprised the beatles bought into it, especially George. BTW I think the Beatles best music came from drug use that’s more or less a fact. Although I agree with the inflated egos and peace loving crap that part ruined it for me. Also hogging the spotlight and being dumb cunts.

Nominated by: Titslapper

Flies [2]

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I’d Like to cunt flies. Flies are fooking cunts.

I have recently tried to quit smoking(300 times and counting) recently it’s been 36 hours since my last puff then with a fuck of luck a fly enters my bedroom and just starts terrorizing the hell out me buzzing by my face landing on my knee, being itchy because of it. Just being a allround cunt making me wanna light up again so I’m back smoking again hooray for that.

I swear I hope get the bastard alive because gonna dissect the fucker’s wings one by one. Flys are cunts absolute CUNTS!

Nominated by: Titslapper

I can’t stand files. They fucking hang around and always seem to want to fly near you when the cunts have the whole room to fly around in. What pisses me off more is when you are relaxing watching the telly and one starts flying near you, you then have to get up and open the window and try to get the Cunt(s) out and its like they do not want to fuck off, they fly everywhere but out the fucking window.

Horrible little cunts who like shit.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Tribute bands

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Tribute bands deserve a cunting… It shows how fucked music is when the likes of Mojo Magazine (cunts) advertise more tribute bands than real ones…..

First of all, why would anyone want to be someone else? Also, if someone can sing or play a bit, why not try and do something new or original? Instead these cunts go around in silly costumes and wigs performing stuff that was put out over 40 years ago… I saw a Rolling Stones tribute band… There was this bloke with a ludicrous blonde wig, pretending he was Brian Jones (he looked more like Jimmy Savile!)…. The same man appeared later on with a very bad black rooster style syrup, pretending now to be Ronnie Wood… If you want 60s or 70s Stones just listen to them…Instead of paying money to see a bunch of knobheads in panto get-up…

These ‘Tribute Stones’ also had stupid names: like Nick Dagger, Charlie Mott and Bill Hyman… How fucking sad is that? I was informed that the name ‘Hyman’ was a shortened version of highwayman… And here was me thinking it had something to do with Mandy Smith…

Nominated by: Norman

Pizza leafleters

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Pizza leafleters, who have pushed thousands of the fucking things through my letterbox over the years are total cunts.

I fucking hate pizza, it looks like shit, it smells like shit and it tastes like shit. There’s more chance of me licking Gok Wan’s arsehole than there is of me ordering a pizza.

Nominated by: Allan