Cunts on bikes [2]

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An Open Letter To Cycling Cunts

Dear Fuckwits,
In case the penny hasn’t dropped yet,here’s why EVERYBODY despises you;

You ride around on your pathetic toys, dressed in your faggot outfits, in the mistaken belief that you are somehow “saving the planet” in fact all you do is add significantly to the sum of human misery.
You continually complain about road safety every time some cunt on a bike gets crushed under the wheels of an H.G.V. (I laugh my cock off every time!) In fact, if you just followed the accepted rules of the road like normal people, we would all be safer – you ignore traffic lights, one-way road signs, other road users, pedestrians and simple common sense.

You don’t have to pay road tax, pay insurance or even pass a test.
You get very sweaty and smelly and normally sport cunt beards.
It’s a child’s toy, you fucking moronic cunts, not a fucking sport.
You’re too fucking mean to buy a car.

It’s in the interest of your own safety to keep off the roads and pavements before the Great Backlash sees you all beaten to a bloody pulp, Cunts !

Nominated by: little lord cuntleroy

52 thoughts on “Cunts on bikes [2]”

  2. Is there anything worse than cunts on bikes?

    YES, THERE IS:

    STUDENT cunts on bikes, glued to their smartphones instead of keeping their eyes on the road.

      • If that was my child, I would sue the cunt that did it through the civil courts, and claim at least £20 grand compensation from the cunt. If the cunt could only afford to pay me £5 a week – so be it. At least I got justice.

    • I once hit a student girl cunt on her bike. She had mobile phone clamped to her ear and was riding her push-bike one-handed when swerving into my car as I was driving past doing about 30.

      Fortunately for her she fell onto a grass verge and was only shaken not injured. Fortunately for me, she immediately accepted blame for her stupidity and didn’t pursue any insurance claims for her busted bicycle. What an arsehole twat she was.

      • I live in a university town where most student cunts ride bikes while simultaneously glued to their phones. Numerous taxi drivers have hit these smug fucktards causing varying degrees of harm. Needless to say, most students cunts have a massive sense of entitlement and are not as honest as the girl you hit, so they immediately start blaming the taxi drivers for not anticipating that said student would be receiving an important Facebook update that required instant checking.. and of course when Plod belatedly arrives on the scene, they tend to take the side of the person with the most obvious physical injuries.

        If car drivers can be prosecuted for using smartphones behind the wheel, then so should cyclists. End of.

      • I agree with fred you definitely did get off easy Entopy , young bike cunts always start blowing their whistle and start yelling at you to cause a big scene to make you the guilty one. The only reasonable thing to do in that situation is punch them in the nose or if its a woman go for the cunt punt. Btw you should of demanded a blowjob just for the hell of it.

    • Only today I saw a stupid cunt on a bike wearing headphones !!!!! FFS how the fuck is he aware of what’s going on around him. Stupid bastard.

    • I can just say its fuck all to do with what they are travelling by.. everyone in cars are just as bad..

      YES I ride a bike around.. but I am not dumb about it..stay in the right lanes.. avoid being in the road at all if i can help it cause 99% of drivers are fucking idiots and clearly just paid the instructors or sucked them off for their licence.

      But as said not every single one is the same,. you get ALOT more cunts in cars than on bikes… why because people in cars think they own the roads..

      Did you alllll forget your being raped annually by the council to fix these bag of shit roads ? do you see any significant fixes cause i certainly don’t 😉

  3. ha ha. as a MAMIL (work it out). there is some truth in what you say. there is a minority of cyclists who jump red lights, but what people fail to realise is that most cyclists are motorists as well so they do in fact pay road tax. saving the planet is not uppermost in my mind as i cycle along especially as i happen to think man made global warming is a load of cobblers ( has that been cunted yet, i;m quite new here )

    • Well there could be some effects of global warming
      recently there has been a surge of heat waves all round the world with a el nino effect with india getting up to 48 degrees celcius killing a fuckload of people. I don’t know if its a cause of global warming could be alot of pollution in the air, also fracking is ruining the world. All I know is if you put enough junk in the world its gonna have a negative effect on wildlife , weather and so forth. Don’t think global warming theory has been cunted but anything is possible to happen .

  4. There are a lot of retarded cyclists on Britain’s roads. They ignore all traffic signals and road signs; go down one-way streets the wrong way; drink and eat whilst cycling; breeze through red lights and ignore all other traffic regulations with impunity.

    – Sometimes fall off at regular intervals.
    – Demonstrate an ability to cycle with eyes closed.
    – Weave through stationary traffic to save time.
    – Hit at least one dog/cat/OAP/small child.
    – Speed at 50 mph in a 20 mph zone.
    – Ride onto busy dual carriageways to get to destinations faster.
    – Ride through red lights, thinking traffic-lights are for CARS not bikes.
    – Do reckless stunts and tricks to bypass road works.
    – Don,t signal their intentions to other road users.
    – Don’t wear reflective jackets, at night.
    – Ride without touching the handle bars with their hands.
    – Unnecessary swerving into the middle of the road.
    – Use mobile phone and text while biking.

    Utter, utter fucking morons and cunts.

  5. Fuck off, I as a keen cyclist (for fitness) have to take umbridge at this cunting!

    Yes there are so monumental cunts on cycles, who like some taxi drivers, motorists and motorcyclists give EVERYONE a bad name.

    By all means cunt Chris Froome, Lance Armstrong, Bradley “fucking have a shave you cunt” Wiggins or even Chris Boardman, Victoria Pendleton, or even Eddie Mercx (just try it!) or even some cunt on a single-speed who cut you up at the lights this morning, but do not tar all cyclists with the same ignorant disdain!

  6. I’d Like to cunt flys, flys are fooking cunts I have recently tried to quit smoking(300 times and counting) recently it’s been 36 hours since my last puff then with a fuck of luck a fly enters my bedroom and just starts terrorizing the hell out me buzzing by my face landing on my knee, being itchy because of it. Just being a allround cunt making me wanna lit up again so I’m back smoking again hooray for that. I swear I hope get the bastard alive because gonna dissect the fucker’s wings one by one. Flys are cunts absolute CUNTS!

    • Yeah, can’t stand files either. They fucking hang around and always seem to want to fly near you when the cunts have the whole room to fly around in. What pisses me off more is when you are relaxing watching the telly and one starts flying near you, you then have to get up and open the window and try to get the Cunt(s) out and its like they do not want to fuck off, they fly everywhere but out the fucking window. Horrible little cunts who like Shit.

      • Zap the fly bastards with “Terminal Professional Fly Spray” made by the Net Tex company.

        It is a food-safe aerosol insecticide for use in kitchens and other food preparation areas. Non poison to food and humans if used in moderation. Kills flying bug fuckers instantly with one well aimed spray.

        Been using it for years in my kitchens at work and at home. Last cost me £48 for a wholesale 12 X 400ml can case. But it retails around £7 or £8 a can if you know where to shop for it.

    • There gives a eletric tennis racket with wire mesh and the bigger the fly the better crack
      As a kid catch a meat fly and tie a short piece of cotton around its neck and let it go ,and you have an instant house pet (lasts for about 2 minutes)but fun no end
      Not learnt from blue peter

    • Or the bug-a-salt.

      Makes it more sporting and drastically decreases the possibility of the house burning down.

  8. i was absolutely seething the other day. like others have mentioned flys ar fucking annoying with their fuckin buzzing. i was minding me own business when this fuckinn annoying buzzing started, how the fucker got in i so not know . ‘cos i keep me windows shut to keep the fuckers and their buzzing out. i suippose there is the possibilty he’she could have its way in through the front door. from now on i am going to open and shut that fucker as quick as i can. anyway being a nice sort of chap even though i hate em i dont like killing em. so in a desperate measure i decided begrudgingly to open a window. well would you believe my luck the fucker flew straight out. mission accomplished ! but wait, theres a twist. just as i went to close said window guess what? yes you got it 2 fuckers flew straight in ! now i was faced with a dilemma. what to do? leave the window open and hope they fuck off but at the same rime risk the possibilty of more winged avengers turning up?
    i can tell you i just couldnt make me mind up. decisions decisions. i’ll leave that hanging in the air.

  9. The wow factor is a cunt. You can’t watch any property/cookery/antiques TV show these days without the hopeful members of the public or the supercilious judges saying they are looking for “the wow factor”. It’s just another phrase that has been so chronically overused by TV as to have been rendered almost meaningless. Like “iconic”, it’s one of those terms that is just lazy cunt shorthand as it saves having to explain anything in detail.

    People who say they are looking for “the wow factor” all have one thing in common: the cunt factor.

  10. On the subject of Flies, Anyone noticed in Summer you get fucking massive ones as well, they’re so big they sound like a Lawnmower. Fucking Black bastards make me ashamed to be half Black the cunts.

    • My cat is a master at getting flies… There was a big bastard bluebottle in the house the other day… The cat just sat in the middle of the room, waiting for the moped sounding dirty cunt to fly over… The cat then leaped about five foot into the air, swiped the moving fly with its claws and then knocked the shit out of it… Any fly in any part of the house, the cat knows where they are and takes them out, like a flyseeking missile…

      • My pug literally ate flys it was so funny to watch and a delight of a dog to have. Unfortunately it had a early death because pugs have a variety of illnesses they can get and we caught it too late . To makes matters worse it was really hot that summer and pugs detest the heat also to mention Charlie would bump into stuff alot (big eyes small nose) . I miss that dog more then I miss my ex-girlfriend, Sad but True. Its alot of work with Pugs but they are awesome dogs the most loyal dog I encountered and they always have a big dumb smile on their face, its just alot of work and hazards with Pugs but probably the cutest dog in existence and cousin to the bulldog apparently But they don’t live long lives because of the illnesses associated with them its rather tragic to be honest.

      • My Cat is ok at getting them but she needs to do it more often the lazy bitch. All the money I spend on her (Insurance, Food, Vet Bills) the least she could do is kill a few flies.

  11. i’d like to cunt newsreaders. for fucks sake i could do that!. i could read an autocue no problem!. and they are all earning fuckin fortunes and living in feckin nice houses just for basically fucking READING. do they ever look at nurses and think fuck i am getting 5 times what they get, can that be right?. i wonder.

    • Have cunted orn this before. Gets orn me tits that the overpaid fuckers these days cannot even sight read an autocue. BBC 24hr News tossers the worst. Slow right down or stop when something new comes in. Supposed to be part orf the job cunts.

    • Thats why reporters , journalists, and newcasters are the lowest form of life they are just bunch of overpaid fuckheads who got the job based on looks or nice voice . Especially celebrities these days are absolute overpaid cunts as well acting like they are saving the world. They are not saving the world from anything! selfish ego maniac cunts! they can’t even make decent movies nowadays its all CGI shite.

  12. I want to nominate pizza leafleters, who have pushed thousands of the fucking things through my letterbox over the years. I fucking hate pizza, it looks like shit, it smells like shit and it tastes like shit. There’s more chance of me licking Gok Wan’s arsehole than there is of me ordering a pizza.

    • Our pizza delivery lad has a face like a zit pizza. He’s now going back to the shop to look up ‘ironic’.

    • Yeah those fucking Pizza leaflets are as bad as all the other junk mail I get. I asked the post women if she could stop posting the junk mail through my door and she said I had to go online and request it to be stopped. What a bunch of fucking Cunts the Royal mail are for accepting money from these junk mail cunts to post shit through MY door and then make it difficult for me to stop it. CUNTS.

    • How do you hate pizza mate? , I know theres alot of shite pizza places out there , but if you can’t find a decent place make it yourself its not rocket science. It only takes 10 minutes to throw everything together make a crust bake the crust then tomato sauce then the toppings bake for another 2-4 mins to melt the chesse and or meat then take it out, put on your produce toppings then its done .

  13. Tribute bands deserve a cunting… It shows how fucked music is when the likes of Mojo Magazine (cunts) advertise more tribute bands than real ones…..

    First of all, why would anyone want to be someone else? Also, if someone can sing or play a bit, why not try and do something new or original? Instead these cunts go around in silly costumes and wigs performing stuff that was put out over 40 years ago… I saw a Rolling Stones tribute band… There was this bloke with a ludicrous blonde wig, pretending he was Brian Jones (he looked more like Jimmy Savile!)…. The same man appeared later on with a very bad black rooster style syrup, pretending now to be Ronnie Wood… If you want 60s or 70s Stones just listen to them…Instead of paying money to see a bunch of knobheads in panto get-up…

    These ‘Tribute Stones’ also had stupid names: like Nick Dagger, Charlie Mott and Bill Hyman… How fucking sad is that? I was informed that the name ‘Hyman’ was a shortened version of highwayman… And here was me thinking it had something to do with Mandy Smith…

    • Never seen the point of useless tribu-cunt-0-matics; it’s a bit like buying the Mona Lisa (weird cuntess of the first watter) for so many mi££ion$ and letting the Cunt and Heir loose with Junior’s first painting by numbers set to put eyebrows on her. What’s the point?. It’s not the original and now it’s of no use to any man or his dog; just like tribute bands. When the original artist dies will they top themselves in tribute?

    • One orf me favourites is Brian Ferry and Poxy Music. Have a sneaking regard for The Rolling Clones and Kaiser Thiefs. Only stipulation is that the tribute act must be seriously crap in this genre.

  14. Talking of useless artists: LS Fucking Lowry, as his poor former friends knew him, should be up for a good cunting. Jesus Christ inna basket! I could do better with a tar brush and five gallons (Imp.) of distemper. If matchstick men, cats and fucking dogs was the best he could manage he should have stuck to lime-washing outside bogs for a pass time and save us having to listen to jumped up toffee nosed twats banging on about: the tonal quality, the textures and the gritty realism. It’s all fucking crap; the King is naked, open your eyes and smell the coffee people.

    Not only, but also, he left those two cockney twats an opening to make their cheery-chappy, lov-a-londoner, darn-saarf foot stomper. Stomp on their fucking necks given half a chance. Perhaps Spaz-n-Drivel should be put on community service lime-washing outside shitholes and let a tribute band take their place. Fuck knows there’s enough talentless cockney wankers to fill their shoes.

  15. Chelsea team doctor Eva Carneiro is set to lose her place on the bench for Sunday’s trip to Manchester City after criticism from manager Jose Mourinho…. The Blues boss said his medical staff were “naive” for treating Eden Hazard during the 2-2 draw with Swansea…. Carneiro will continue to be Chelsea’s first-team doctor but her role at the club will be significantly changed….

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… No fucking women officials or staff in football…

    • Women in football; really? How do they get the Aga, sink, posser, dolly tub and flat irons to away matches.

      What a world.

  16. talking of ‘artists ‘ i assume DAMIEN HURST has been cunted? if not why not., fucking dots. and he doesnt even paint the fuckin things himself, gets someone else to do it! and the muppetts pay thousands for em. whats the betting thats what he calls em too?

    • Absolutely… Hurst is a big cunt… A fucking cow in a giant pickle jar?!?
      Same goes for that cunt Banksy… He does fuck all, and it’s just a load of stooges wtih spray cans and stencils anyway… And while I’m at it, that ugly sozzled bitch, Tracy Emin is a cunt too…

  17. Hristo Stoichkov is a fucking cunt… He has an totally shite record in management, yet he slates Van Gaal… Fuck off you fat, red cabbage soup eating Bulgarian cunt!

  19. ooops my bad its HIRST innit
    have not plucked up the courage to view the pickled bollocks yet.

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