God

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Let’s see….
God makes the Earth and makes people and says “If you’re good I’ll let you into heaven and you’ll be happy forever, and if you’re evil you’ll go to hell.” But he already knows if they’re going to turn out good or evil because he’s omniscient, and as he’s omnipotent as well he could have made everyone good and put them in heaven to start with, so he’s wasted seven days of his own time.

And if he made man in his own image then he’s a cunt. It all makes perfect sense. You can see why millions of people dedicate their lives to religion.

Nominated by: Allan

13 thoughts on “God”

  1. If you judge a person by the company he keeps, God must be an uber-cunt. ISIS nut jobs, Catholic kiddie fiddlers and American fundamentalists with lights flashing in their eyes all claim to be God’s best mates. I rest my fucking case.

    Oh, and the SNP are still cunts.

  2. And on that note Allan, I think Scientology is overdue for a cunting.

    What brings this cunting to the fore is the letter that dropped onto my doormat yesterday, inviting me to join a course on detoxification with the ‘church’ of cuntology.

    Apparently, for a fee I can go to a scientology centre and have numerous toxins removed from my system including street drugs, prescription drugs, petrol / diesel and Asbestos.

    Now call me a cunt, but I always thought that removing drugs from your system is pretty easy. Don’t start taking them in the first place.

    Asbestos on the other hand is an absolute cunt of a substance and any poor fucker who gets it in their lungs is in for a slow and painful death. There is no cure.

    My ex father-in-law is currently wasting away from asbestosis and I have already seen one of my engineers go the same way. It is a heartbreaking and terrifying way to die for all involved.

    The reason I fucking despise Scientology is that they prey on the gullible and vulnerable…..and then relieve them of all their cash and worldly belongings when they are at their lowest ebb.

    I have seen the way they recruit, their brainwashing techniques and the downward spiral into something approaching mental illness of those unfortunate enough to get wrapped up with them. All first hand.

    L. Ron Hubbard was a mediocre science fiction writer, not a prophet. The ‘church’ members are a bunch of deranged, manipulative cunts and they can take their billion year contracts, roll them up and insert them fucking sideways.

    Fuck them, fuck all of them to hell and back!

    I hope they die screaming. The cunts!

    • I remember a tale from the filming of Mission Impossible 3… That well known Scientologist (and cunt) Tom Cruise met two actresses who were considering doing the film (Scarlett Johansson and Carrie Ann Moss). Cruise took both girls to a room where they were greeted by a platoon of these grinning, creepy as fuck hubbarders, and they were invited in by Cruise… Johansson said thanks but no thanks while Moss apparently told him to fuck off. Needless to say because they both rebuffed Tom and his gang of weirdos, neither of them was in the film (a jammy escape for the pair of them)… Johansson later also laid into Cruise and called him ignorant because he openly said that anti-depressants were wrong and that people who took them were wrong… Funny how all his old ladies leave him, eh? They have to put with him and his hubbarder shite? That’s enough to make anyone bugger off for good…

      And you’re dead right: Scientology is a load of crap… If there is some kind of spiritual ‘answer’ or meaning or whatever, how the fuck can it come from a shite science fiction writer? These cunts are as bad, and as loony, as Icke . Yet they get an easy ride because celebrity cunts like Twat Cruise and John Revolting are up their weirdo arses…

      • Let’s start with Hubbard. Some of his writing is bloody good. My opinion so fuck off.
        Next, Scientology is (also) in my opinion another avenue into attempted control of humanity. In essence an anti religious religion.
        Control is key in the modern world (approx 2500 years young) and the ruling elite of the time devised an all encompassing being by the title God. Best marketing team EVER.
        The populace was growing exponentially whilst the self appointed administrators were losing touch and control. Hence a new force was devised for crowd control.
        Religion.
        My son has been battling cancer for thirteen and a half years since birth in the form of multiple brain tumours. It may well be a losing battle.
        However.
        During these last years, the amount of suffering and battles lost, prolonged pain and terror that I’ve witnessed in my sons hospital is nothing short of evil.
        If anyone can show Gods work here, have at you.
        IMHO God truly is a cunt.

  3. Kevin Bollaert needs a special cunting.

    Bollaert cried in Court this week when he was jailed for eighteen years.

    The cunt had been operating a revenge porn website which encouraged jilted lovers and hackers to post nude photos of people without their consent, along with personal information including contact details. More than 10,000 images, mainly of women, were posted between December 2012 and September 2013. Anyone who contacted the website seeking to have their explicit images taken down was then directed to another of Bollaert’s websites, changemyreputation.com, and charged between $250 to $350 to remove the content. The compromising photos cost many victims their jobs and led to one attempted suicide. Bollaert raked in approx $900 a month in website ad revenue and another $30,000 from victims. Bollaert was convicted of six counts of extortion and twenty-one counts of identity theft.

    Frankly I think eighteen years is getting off lightly for this abhorrent cunt – one can only hope that a 25 stone drug dealer in a neighbouring cell fancies a fresh bitch…

  4. The pert and blond one, in between burning projects, is also an atheist of renown. Bugger religion. Nothing good comes from it. Stullifying, stolid, religious dogma. This has nothing to do with the fact that I was raised as a Jeovahs witness. No psychological scars here. Move on……..

  5. I would elaborate on this cunting and go into some shit-hot detail but I think Epicurus did a pretty fucking fine job thank you very much.

  6. “You say your special” – special fucking needs, even the imaginary God knows it should be “You say you’re special”

  7. I’m not a religious man, nor do I consider myself an atheist(which is the cool thing to do these days) mainly because I couldn’t give a toss about the existence or non-existence of this mysterious entity as there’s nothing we can do about it either way.

    However, something I’ve always found ironic is how we’re told how Satan and his followers are evil, yet whenever there’s a bout of religious naughtiness somewhere in the world it’s nearly always the people who believe in God causing it.

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