The Conservative Party


The Conservative Party are cunts.

In the interests of balance, it’s worth pointing out what unimpressive cunts the current crop of Tories are. Without the twin liability of Chicken Dave and Gideon the Towel-Folder (and Aussie cunt Lynton Crosby pulling the strings behind the scenes), the Tories could – and should – be doing a hell of a lot better. Their rampant scaremongering and barefaced lies don’t seem to be convincing anyone other than die-hard Tories or they would have broken ahead in the polls long before now. It’s no surprise that Chicken Dave’s “Contract Between The Conservative Party and You” that appeared in the Press throughout the 2010 campaign has mysteriously vanished from the Tory website and has been erased from the archive too. Wonder why that could be? Almost every single promise broken perhaps? Take a look above…

Given all the shit that the Tories – aided and abetted by the Mail, Express, Telegraph and Murdoch titles – have been hurling at the hopeless cunt Miliband for months, you’d expect him to have obligingly topped himself by now, not be level-pegging with Chicken Dave at this stage of the game. I mean for fuck’s sake, Miliband is such an easy target on so many levels, yet the cuntly Tories can’t seem to hit him effectively, let alone deliver a knockout blow. In the current political climate maybe it’s impossible for any politician to persuasively claim the moral, intellectual or economic highground. It’s like asking people to choose between Ian Huntley or Ian Brady. Brady is schizophrenic whereas Huntley is a psychopath, but they both murdered children, so in the end it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other.

Perhaps, like me, the general public despises these cunts equally. I’m hoping for a hung parliament – my definition of which sees Cameron, Clegg and Miliband dangling from a noose side by side on a specially adapted gallows built for three.

Nomimated by: Fred West

20 thoughts on “The Conservative Party

  1. Agreed, and what ever happened to the Big Society and that variation on National Service that Michael Caine launched ? What a pile of pish.

  2. The Tory pigs want to take Britain back to Victorian values… They never should have got in the last time with all that hung parliament crap… If there is no clear winner the UK should do what the Americans do and have a re-vote in a fortnights time. Of course it it wasn’t for that little bastard, Nick Clegg, we wouldn’t have had five years of this wretched coalition…

    • I agree with you, Norman. No clear winner? Hold another vote and knock out the party with the lowest share. Keep doing it until we get a result. Having said that, the single transferable vote system would have never dropped us in this shite in the first place.

      In the interests of balance, I would point out that the Labour cunts are no better. They still want to rob the rich, borrow their way out of a recession, and redistribute wealth to all the cunts who sit on their arses. There’s major faults in both sides.

      What really frightens me is (1) the thought of Ed Balls as Chancellor FFS! (2) England ruled from Edinburgh. I can appreciate how the Scots feel about Scotland ruled from London when I think about that one to be honest.

      It’s all a fucking great mess. The forecast is that UKIP will get 2 seats and the Limp Dumps 12 – six times the number of MPs with half the share of the vote. Perhaps we should cunt the voting system? There’s a thought…

  3. corporal clegg had a wooden leg , corporal cameron had a shit filled shoe he bought it off a tranny in the zoo in1962 “Dear, oh dear were they really sad for me? dear oh dear will they really laugh at me?”
    Mrs. Clegg, you must be proud of him.
    Mrs. Clegg another drop of gin

    don’t ask i was listening to floyd while reading this article but funny bit i think

    • One should never listen to Floyd whilst sober… Well, not the early stuff anyway.

      They were never the same without Sid Barrett.

      • Barrett was Floyd in those early days…. It’s like New Order: they did some very good stuff, but without Ian Curtis it wasn’t what it used to be…

      • Right enough after Barrett it was all downhill, Dark Side of the Moon, Wish you Were Here, The Wall …..

      • corporal clegg isn’t that bad its actually Pink Floyd making fun of the beatles basically but Nick shouldn’t have sang backing vocals Scream thy last scream need i say more although i do have a decent copy where Syd is singing 50% instead of just singing two lines and theres no chipmunk feedback lol its a bbc live version its kind of rare found it on freemp3 but the cyberpolice kept shutting it down or something cunty what do i care i’ve gotten most of my favorites anyway btw i was baked when i was listening to floyd , I don’t always listen to Pink Floyd and Frank Zappa but when i do i’m baked out of my tree on bubblehash

  4. As I’ve mentioned before, the Tories are at least transparent about their plans to slap the working classes back to the days of Workhouses, limited education and suppressing social mobility for the “have-nots”. Labour, or to be more correct “New Labour” have gone about this in a more stealthy way. They no longer represent the “working classes” (whoever the working classes actually are these days).
    Neither party gives a bugger for the electorate, both have diametrically opposing views about the economy, with Labour determined to throw money at anything that has the word “Ethnic” or “Socially deprived” in it, whilst the Tories slashing the same from anyone who is claiming benefits.
    In the midst of all this, the one thing that I guarantee will not change, irrespective of who or what might get into No:10 is the tendency of Britain to bend over an be metaphorically buggered by the EU and the USA. If we actually invested in our own economy, rather than trying to be the planetary dirigent that we have since the days of the empire, there is a slight chance that we might be able to sort out our own problems.
    Never going to happen of course, as long as we have the corrupt and incompetent muppets vying for their turn at the helm of SS Titanic-GB

    • I would agree, however social mobility is robbed by the welfare system. If you can’t afford it, you can’t have it was the old adage, however now its ‘don’t worry, just kick the can down the road and we will see where we are in 5 years’, someone else can always be rinsed to pick up the tab. Thus meaning the class system is not what it was.

      We now have something like:

      Independent Class: These people have enough money to use the very same tax system that councils and NHS rely on to cook the books. Forget closing the loopholes as no party will make this happen, bankruptcy for the country and anarchy will ensue if it does. These would be the top 1%, and if you ain’t in it now, you won’t be getting in.

      Then we have the working class, being what the middle class used to be. The double income families working full time just to give themselves and there families some form of independence and advantage, whilst being repeatedly kicked in the bollocks and shat on in order to pay for the new ‘welfare class’. But they won’t do fuck all about it, so long as the next payment for the white Audi/Range Rover turns up, and they get two foreign holidays a year, then they don’t really give a fuck. They repeat what they read in the MSM like it was there own, and have neutered themselves with apathy. Probably less than half of them will put down the pinot and bother to vote. Right now they are considering ‘putting another one through the hoop’ just to stock up on tax credits.

      Then we have the afore mentioned ‘Welfare Class’. You know, the type who breed for a living, but demand everything that you have and worked for, but only provided that you pay for it. And these fuckers usually vote socialist as when there great grand parents actually worked, 30 years ago, they voted socialist anyway, believing the day would come when they did not have to work at all. And lo and behold, it has arrived.

  5. I haven’t heard from Sir Limply for a while. Where are you Limpers? I miss your banter old boy !

  6. I think Sir Limply is busy finding a safe hiding place for his vintage Bentley, just in case the Greens get in. I’m thinking of hiding my ancient car and motorbike because the Tree Huggers will want to crush anything without an ECO badge on it.

  7. The way I see it is we get to vote for a long dry fuck up the arse (Conservative).

    Being repeatedly kicked in the bollocks (Labour).

    Or unnecessary circumcision with no anaesthetic (limp dim).

    Not much of a choice is it?

    • Would it be remiss of me to suggest that there may be a sedative/soothing ointment you could try?

  8. Said it before…..they are all a bunch of twisted cunts.

    The Tories aren’t ideal but another labour government to fuck the country up even further would just take us another god knows how many steps backwards.

    The last 5 years under the Tories has been hard and they have put cut after cut after cut in place but the country was totally fucked by the previous Labour government spending like a spoilt child in a sweet shop.

    Are any of them any better than the other………probably not but this once great country of ours can absolutely not afford to go fucking spending like headless chickens again and simply raising taxes doesn’t solve the issue…..the belts have to be tightened and then tightened a bit more.

  9. Zero tolerance staff are cunts…
    It’s apparently alright for some medical centre receptionist, council phone answerer or job centre lackey to talk down to someone and treat them like a five year old schoolkid and/or a piece of shit… Yet if someone (anyone) gets annoyed at this diabolical attitude the Little Hiter points at the poster that says ‘We do not tolerate any abuse or anti-social behaviour’ Even if the person isn’t giving them any and is just standing up for themself… This zero tolerance shit basically protects them and not the client/patient/customer, and it gives these soft arsed cunts carte blanche to do and say whatever they bloody like…

    • This is true Norman. I watched my dad ( also called Norman curiously enough), get into an argument with some spotty little nobody at the local doctors surgery, who was obviously out to impress the little slapper he was “training”. Despite the fact dad’s GP had insisted he get into contact straight away, said oik refused to take a message or pass on information.
      I’d give a tidy sum of money to have five minutes in a locked room with the little bastard.

    • Like my GPs’ receptionists…they have aforementioned Zero tolerance poster. The medics are great, really lovely, the receptionists…Christ knows how many there are, I requested a repeat prescription on Tues afternoon, went in the following Monday (WELL after the required 48 hours)…and they STILL took about a quarter of an hour to find the friggin’ thing, it was only in the box right under the silly bint’s nose all that time. Fuck me was I ready to kick some arse, although even my size 12 would have got lost permanently, I think. And they bombard me with fuckwit questions, trying to imply that I am at fault in some way. All this from some twat who’s so far down the evolutionary scale she’s still not walking on her hind legs alone, it was Feb 22, yet still wearing Christmas party make-up, ie gold aerosol (should this be arsehole??!) spray paint, and eye-liner / road-tar applied, I think, while she was wearing boxing gloves.
      If you don’t feel fucking awful when you see the medic, the receptionist will make you feel like the wrath of God. I don’t think I’ve ever met one who couldn’t be replaced by a well-trained pigeon. CUNTS, the whole fucking lot of them.

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