Monthly Archives: March 2015

Football [2]

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I’d like to to cunt the “Anyone But United” football “fans”

Now I’m a Liverpool fan, have been since I was a little shite and this may come as a shock to you but I can’t stand all these fucking cunts who cheer when teams they don’t support score against United especially when they seem to cheer them more than they cheer their own fucking team.

I take no pleasure in United losing unless of course it’s Liverpool handing out the beating, I rarely bother with football anymore because of all these tossers, along with the overpaid fannies who now play the game, shite atmosphere at the stadiums and Sky’s constant peddling of the “greatest league in the world”.

Maybe I should just cunt football…

Nominated by: Mr Cunty Pants

The Solar Eclipse

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It was shite. Really shite. I was disappointed as fuck.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

What eclipse? All I saw were clouds…

Nominated by: Dioclese

95% totality? That description was about as accurate as the Tories 15 year austerity plan and as ambitious as Nick Clegg hoping to get elected.

Oddly enough, it prompted some strange behaviour by brickies working across the road, who at the moment of totality chose to bare their arses to all and sundry (no diamond rings there I can assure you)

Nominated by: Lez

UnfortunatIey I saw the eclipse and now can see nothing else. My eyes, my beautiful blue eyes………. Perhaps ’tis a blessing in disguise as I can’t find my matches.

Nominated by: Flaxen Saxon

Dotun Adebayo

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I know I’ll be considered somewhat of a cunt for listening to BBC Radio but I listen to 5Live cos I likes da sports n all, innit?

Well, this ‘filling the quota’ cunt has been slipped into my day-time listening this week, and never have I heard such an inept and awkward example of presenting a radio programme. He sounds as if he has severe autism.

Fuck off Dotun, fuck right off.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

The London Calling album cover

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The London Calling album cover – Wow, so fucking edgy, weren’t the Clash such punks.

Bollocks they were. Overrated posh boys playing the rebel, beloved of the luvvies.

Go and fuck away off you cunts.

Always pleases me to hear that JJ Burnel knocked their cunt clean in. Good lad.

Nominated by: Dan

FFS! This has apparently voted the top punk album cover of all time. What a load of shite!

Some cunt with more money than brains smashing up a perfectly good guitar. It’s not original, matey – Pete Townshend thought of it first.

Still, better to listen to him smashing it than playing it.

Nominated by: ChasCMusic

Unboxing videos

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People on Youtube who do un-boxing videos are cunts.

What the fuck is all that about? They buy some shit piece of technology like an iPhone and then proceed to record a video of them taking it out of the box and explaining that you get a manual, a charger cable and a USB cable!

Fuck off, you plebs!

Nominated by: Billy Bollock’s Bollock

( Rather apt considering Osbourne’s ‘unboxing’ this afternoon? Sure to be absolute shit in his box! Ed. )