Dead Pool [16]

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DEATH+Thorp_10

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to The Grim Cunter who successfully predicted that from shirt lifting Limp Dump Jeremy Thorpe would be shuffling off the old mortal whilst I was sojourning in Nuzzieland! Sorry for the delay in posting the new pool, but a holiday is a holiday and those of you who know me will know that the PC stays at home when I’m away.

Well done Cunter, old son. Good to have a fresh face on the winners podium.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 16. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

89 thoughts on “Dead Pool [16]”

  1. 1: Clive James
    2: Warren Mitchell
    3: Denis Nordern
    4: Leslie Phillips
    5: If The Eye is still concentrating on his new Hollyweird nominations instead of his original five, then I’d like Denis Healey. If The Eye wants Healey back, I’ll have Doris Day.

    Welcome back, Dioclese. Aren’t you sorry you missed Dave’s failed efforts at trolling ISAC?

  2. Welcome back Dioclese.

    My five are:

    Russell Brand
    Bob Geldof
    Diane Abbott
    Tony Blair
    Jihadi John

    More a wish list than dead pool nominations really.

  3. Right. Reins duly picked up (hopefully)!

    I’m also sticking with my five from last time.
    Billy Graham
    Kirk Douglas
    Peter O’Sullivan
    Wilko Johnson
    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Still hoping Wilko makes it but a bet’s a bet.

    I’ve picked up most of the comments that look like nominations but fuck me have you been having some fun with that Dave cunt. Deserves his own cunting!!!

  4. Confirming my previous choices:
    Maxine Carr
    Jean Alexander
    Robert Mugabe
    Terry Wogan
    Paul Mc Cartney

  6. Mohammed Ali
    Anthony Armstrong Jones
    Mohammed Ali
    Helmut Schmidt
    Ken Dodd
    PS Welcome back and nothing personal in me nom of you. Just business.

  7. Oh and PS PS. Let’s keep cunting the Meghan filly and see if we can make the 300 posts. Is that an ISAC record?

  8. Damn put in Mohammed Ali twice. Meant Christopher Lee for one. Deserves it for that crap heavy metal Christmas record he has put out.

    • ‘ar ‘enry dropped dahn dead at a football match a few years ago if I recall. I know news orf the wider world travels late to nuzzieland but at least it gives you another go. Plenty oit there.

      • Indeed. Even I draw the line at accepting nominations for people who are already dead (1/5/2011) – so don’t even think of trying Arthur Askey or George Formby !….

      • Fuck. Old Henry gone to the great ring in the sky. What is a man to do with all that Brut? If Nobby Stiles,’ bites your legs’, is still wearing his dentures topside then I’ll have that cunt. Just gogled the cunt. He is still wearing his toupe, but on the bright side he is not a well man.

        Anyway, still need to digest that we no longer live in a world without Henry Cooper. Quite liked him despite the ads. Can I have Arthur Askey as reserve?

      • If its “bites yer legs” that you are after that was Norman Hunter actually and the soubriquet referred to his tackling skills. Nobby was renowned for playing without his dentures so “sucks yer legs” might be more appropriate.

  10. Can’t remember my precious choices…except Peter Hain, and that cunt will go in each and very time until the glorious day.
    So…

    Peter Hain
    Pam Ayres
    Bill Cosby
    Ray Reardon
    …and I’m hoping for a special Xmas present…
    Gerry Adams

  11. I’m gonna take a punt on
    1. Leslie Philips
    2. Arnold Palmer
    3.Buzz Aldrin
    4. Bamber Gascoigne
    5 . That bloke who sings with Keane

    • His name is Tom Chaplin. Never heard of him until you nominated him. Now I’m going to have to take a listen. Arse…!

      Congrats on winning the last dead pool. Fresh blood is always good.

  12. Lionel Blair
    Bobby Charlton
    Angela Lansbury
    Jimmy Carter
    Leonard Nimoy

    Off topic, but can I cunt Mr Maverick Sabre? The cunts music is abysmal and he looks like he’s lost at chromosome roulette.

  13. No fan of Farage, but Russell Brand needs re-cunting for calling him a “Pound Shop Enoch Powell” – which is a bit fucking rich coming from a Primark Citizen Smith.

    • Brand most certainly needs re-cunting. On second thoughts, so does Noel Fielding, Sarah Millican, Ross Noble,Harry Hill, Al Murray and the bastard Chucklebrothers.
      How about a Christmas special Dioclese? A bumper cunting of unfunny comedians?

      As a bonus, you could chuck in Ant and Dec

      • Brand is a monumental whopper of a cunt… His calls for revolution in Britain are as cringeworthy and as hypocritical as the bullshit of serial social climber and arselicker, Jacques Louis David in France (during their revolution)…

        Add to the unfunny comedians list that grinning Scouse cunt, John Bishop… The modern Ken Dodd…

      • Any cunt who mistakes shouting/exasperation for comedy – Billy Connolly, Michael McIntyre, John Bishop, etc etc etc

      • I bumped into Russell Brand on a flight home from Miami earlier this year. He was in the business club lounge with a cracking bit of fanny on his arm. Interestingly, he didn’t appear to be in the same cabin as me.

        Maybe he took the AA flight and I was in BA. Some people just have no class. I mean, AA? Yuk!

        That’s American Airlines not Alcoholics Anon – although you never know with that twat. After all, an alkie is just another form of junkie at the end of the day. Just a different drug…

      • It’s an idea, Lez. Perhaps I should open up a list for Christmas morning. It would give us all an escape from the tedium of Christmas.

        On the other hand it might detract attention from the traditional Christmas game I intend to put up over at my place. Say no more. You’ll just have to wait and see…

  14. I have to nominate breast feeding cunts.

    Self-rightous holier-than-thou mumsnet mafia, who think that we’re all beholden to the brats they spawned. “Breastfeeding is normal and natural” aye, so is taking a dump. I’d be offended if someone curled one down in a Little Chef, let alone ruining my hundred quid afternoon tea in Claridge’s.

      • Good point, that would be more than acceptable. However, google the munters who turned out to protest in front of Claridge’s. Unfortunately, these Milli Tant types always seem to be the ones shouting the loudest!

    • Prince Philip is a popular choice and I’m afraid is already taken, as for the rest – duly noted and welcome to the fun! You’re welcome to pick another…

  17. The mention of Mary Tyler Moore got me thinking: is Barbara Eden still alive? When she was in I Dream Of Jeanie, she could have rubbed my lamp any time…

  18. just found this site fucking superb. The 5 cunts i want to die
    1 pele
    2 lester piggot
    3 alan sugar
    4 ainsley harriet
    5 roger moore

    • Welcome to the fun!

      Mind you, the idea is to pick who you think will die next, not necessarily who you want to die next. Having said that, they could be one and the same if you get lucky…

  19. Interesting. Very. Bawbag intoduces a more psychotic tendency to the pool particularly if those nominations expire rapidly in mysterious circumstances.

  21. Billie Whitelaw has gone… A fine actress. And one thinks of what bints like Jolie, Diaz, Fox etc are getting paid today….

    • Bad timing. If he’d died a couple of weeks earlier, he’d have been guaranteed a Christmas number one!

      I can confirm that nobody had Joe Cocker or Billie Whitelaw in the dead pool. who’s next I wonder? It’s that merry time of year…

  24. If nobody has nominated him yet, I’ll have Charles Manson… Surely that evil old cunt isn’t long for this world?

  26. Apologies for my absence although I notice that it passed everyone by. It’s good to be back and it’s good to see this thread developing nicely into such a massively bellend-rich environment.

    I see that some new contributors have steamed into IsACunt like a bus load of downies at a hugging party. Welcome to the newcomers!

    My fault for not being here earlier so I’ll defer to Fred West with Denis Healey but I will try to get him back for the next round.

    Are we going to do a Cluedo round? If so – Prince Andrew. In a tunnel. With a Mercedes. It’s never been tried before.

    For the moment lets go for:
    Fidel Castro
    George HW Bush
    Stephen Hawking
    Dick Van Dyke
    Mel Brooks

    • I noticed. Welcome back. I saw you’ve applied lots of updates when I logged in this morning so I thought you must have returned to the fold.

      I sent you an email the other day warning of impending absence so that will be in the inbox with a couple of thousand spam mails no doubt. Also heard a rumour through the grapevine that you’d got married. Don’t know if that’s true, but if it is many congrats! If not then just ignore me…

      • Thanks Dioclese, will drop you an email at the weekend with the personal stuff.

        In the meantime, a rapid act of cuntishness:

        Dropping George HW Bush temporarily just to chalk up an easy Dead Pool victory with Ruth Rendell.

  29. RIP, Anne Kirkbride…

    Saw her about town a good few times over the years, and she was always alright… She never acted the big soapstar tosser (unlike some… See you, Dev!).. Everyone thinks of Deidre, but I’ll always remember Anne (and her legs!) in the Granada teleplay, Another Sunday Morning and Sweet FA…

  30. That slimy old cunt, Leon Brittan, has fallen off the perch…. Tell Maggie to shove over, she’s got an old partner in crime as her new cellmate….

    • He’s another one who’s escaped justice by virtue of not being alive when Plod comes knocking.

      • Plenty more guilty political bastards who are still alive and shitting themselves.

        What’s going to come out over the next year will make the BBC molesters look like amateurs.

      • And I nominated the cunt in at least two previous pools. As Sir Leon said when asked how best to bring up a child, “Damn and Bugger”. At least he has a nice warm place to carry out his kiddy fiddling and there might now be a remarkable collapse orf the log jam that is preventing the pertinent inquiry getting under way.

      • Indeed, Sir… The stories of those ‘parties’ in Barnes, London, which Leon and his pals attended are well known… We know about Ted Heath, of course. But I wonder how many more of Maggie’s boys were members of the sweeties and train set club?

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