Tom Jones

tom jones lookalikesOwain Glydwr was a beardy cunt. Miserable looking fucker to boot.
Schooled in England, Employed in the British Army (fought against the Scots). Then fucks of back to Welsh Wales to indulge his penchent for setting fire to cottages. Cunt!

That Tom Jones is due for a darned good cunting too ‘cos he’s got a face that looks like it’s been painted on an overinflated balloon. Did you know he can’t blink when he’s got a hard-on?

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Has anyone noticed the remarkable resemblance between the last native Welshman to hold the title ‘Prince of Wales’ Owain Glydwr and the Welsh Prince of Pop, Tom Jones.

Neither of the cunts could sing. ‘The Voice’ my arse!

Perhaps they are related, I think we should be told…

Nominated by: Dioclese

16 thoughts on “Tom Jones

  1. Sue Perkins urgently needs re-cunting. You cannot turn on the radio or television these days without encountering this desperately smug, woefully unfunny, third-rate k.d. lang tribute act. If ever someone deserved the full Jill Dando treatment, it’s Sue Perkins.

    • Cunted Sue Perkins a while ago in April but never made the blog for some reason as follows:

      Not in the pink, decidedly erascible you might say. Still stuck in bed with me leg up due to a spot of gout or some such. Forced to have the television on to drown out the sounds of the memsahib shagging the gardener. Poor sod. In between whiskies actually watch some of the shite. Get me money’s worth. Point is at my age the tv licence is free not that I ever bought one.

      Why is this Sue Perkins bint on everything? Smarmy smirking superior on quiz shows, braying away on cooking shows with an opinion on everything and a knowledge of fuck all. The ugly chinless dyke spends most of her time when she is not barking at the camera swivelling and goggling her loon eyes through massive bins selecting fillies to shag once she has strapped on her dildo.

      Perhaps that is it. In Cameron’s Britain she represents the token dyke. Bloody lot of tokens around if you ask me.

      • I’ll see if I can put that right, Sir Limply. She’s getting right on my tits at the moment as it happens…

    • Sue Perkins is going to her ‘her’ flaps sliced and rolled up and stitched into a sausage so she can shag that hideous freak Claire Balding up the shit-hole.

      Is there anybody on TV who’s not an unholy beast?

  2. And on another tack this Cliff Richard alleged paedo business. All the coverage on the lines orf “Cliff – the eternal batchelor who can never find the right gal to settle down with” and usually pictured with Sue Barker. By God what was that in me ear hole? The sound of a wheezy guffaw from me pet vulture Gristle.

    Cards on table. Spent a some time in and around the music biz. Open secret that Cliffo was in same sex relationships with his major domos (note how carefully I have spelt that) and long term management. No names no pack drill but get me drift.

    • Interesting. Knew him in me yoof and he’d shag anything in a skirt. Mind you, being gay doesn’t make hime a paedo…

  3. Yeah, doesn’t he live with his “religious adviser”? Cliff has recently changed his response to the question of whether or not he’s gay: instead of flat denials, he’s now started saying “My private life is nobody’s business and I don’t think my fans would care either way”. Now that may be true, but that’s not really the issue any more: the issue now is one of credibility. If he’s denied being gay for so long (and he is gay), why should we believe his denials over the alleged historic sex offences?

  4. I always did think the chorus to Cliff’s Xmas ditty ‘Saviour’s Day’ sounde like “He is gobbling you, a-gobbling you…”

    As for Jones The Voice, Matt Monro was a million times better….

    • …and that really doesn’t say a lot for Tom Jones does it?

      I listed to his latest album as he said he was ‘going back to basics’. It’s shite. Especially that Leonard Cohen song. I didn’t think that anyone could make Cohen sound more depressing, but he manages it…

  5. Good to see the police on the ball with the Cliff Richard case. Searching premises 150 miles from where the incident took place 30 years ago. 

    Watch out Columbo, you’ve got stiff competition.

  6. Yeah, about the cunt Arthur Askey. Wasn’t he found at the back of Tescos with an underage tins of beans. I think the case should be re-opened and the diminutive legless comic dug up and burnt a bit. Shame he was cremated.

  7. Fuck you tom you cunt wooo wo wo wooo
    Fuck you tom you cunt wooo wo wo wooo
    Fuck you tom, fuck you tom
    I hate you, yes I dooo…


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