The Doctor

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Dr Who – Time Travelling Tosser

Have always regarded Dr Who as a bucket of toss done on the cheap. Only excuse for it. Crap effects, crap actors, crap scripts, wobbly sets and invariably the same fucking gravel pit outside location.

Now with a mega budget spearheading the BBC’s ‘original drama’ output and swollowing up most of the licence payer’s hard earned that should be going to fund genuine ‘original drama’. Dr Who has slid up the jacksie of the BBC to be preened, petted and oiled in the camp corridors of power and emerged as an ironic, post modernist my darlings, bucket of toss.

Despite tottering into the age of CGI the ancient old cunt is still produced with crap effects, crap actors, crap scripts etc, etc, etc because that is the only way the campos at the BBC can do things. And avoiding endless plugs for the fucking programme is like trying to hide a pair of wank stained long johns at a vicarage. You can’t get away from ‘em.

Dr Who? Dr Cunt, that’s who.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

( …and you can even buy commemorative stamps FFS! Ed. )

8 thoughts on “The Doctor”

  1. I remember watching the very first episode on black and white tele in a back to back house in Tipton. Scared me shit faced. Hid behind the sofa. Something about cavemen. So putting a modern spin on things. If that old fart of a doctor had been armed with a flame thrower he could have burned all them cavemen, cidermen and them Daleks to bits. When you think of it you didn’t have to burn the Daleks,, cos you just needed to put a bit of shag pile under their wobbly arse. Or grab the sticky thing with the single eye on. How do Daleks judge distance? Best to burn them just in case they’ve evolved to move on shag pile.

  2. Have to do it. I nominate Paul Flowers:

    Job description for £130,000 pa Chairman of the Co-op Bank?

    Are you or have you:

    Gay tosser
    Crack Head
    Supplied illegal drugs
    Left previous charity jobs under a cloud of fraud and drug taking
    Run rings around The Charity Commission
    Labour Party Brown Noser
    Expenses cheat
    Proven ignorance of banking industry
    Methodist Preacher kiddie fumbler
    Collector of inappropriate (but legal) gay porn
    Must demonstrate ability to lavish expenses on rent boys
    Must be IT literate (to use Co-op email to invite young gay men to hard drugs parties)

    Don’t know what all the fuss is about. Paul Flowers? Easily the best qualified candidate.

    • You are nominating him? I suggest that the supposedly fiscally responsible, professionally qualified and well paid banking experts that saw him as a fit and proper person who they decided to appoint to run their bank, might be the more culpable and deserving recipients of the title of ABSOLUTE FUCKING CUNTS. and how the fuck are banks still getting away with this shit?

  3. I’d like to nominate the Arctic 30.

    A complete bunch of cunts if ever there was one. A self-righteous gaggle of global warming bollocks believers, who expected the worst outcome of their little stunt to be a slap on the wrist, before swaggering home to the acclaim of their cunty mates.

    Fucked up the intelligence assessment on this one a bit didn’t you cunts?! Turns out the Russians think global warming is bullshit, and don’t take too kindly to tree-hugging eco pirates trespassing on their kit. These cunts are now shivering in the corner of a grotty jail, praying that their cell-mate ‘Big Ivan’ doesn’t wake up and give them what for with his Stalin’s organ again.

    Because these cunts were ‘there to represent us’, those cunts at Greenpeace now want everyone to bend over backwards lobbying the Ruskies to get these cunts out. Well I’ve got news for you cunts. You don’t represent me, you don’t speak for me, and you’re a sanctimonious bunch of martyrdom seeking, myth believing cunts!

    I’m starting a petition to keep you cunts in jail.

    • Hear, hear Mr Big Face. The word on the street is that the Ruskies are going to burn them.

  4. Just used google and it had a banner for Dr Cunt. Bloody hell. Had no idea it was some 50 years gig. Needless to say the banner animation was as crap as any Dr Who effect. Bollocks all round.

  5. Dr who is a cunt no matter who plays him but all the new ones rank higher up the cuntitude ladder than the 70’s and 80’s ones. The Daleks are cunts as well, they had the chance to kill the wanker and they fucked it up. A bit like James Blunt apparently being a soldier in the Balkan conflict. I will never ever forgive the Serbians for not taking out the tone deaf, simpering, shit singing turd of a man. Hang your heads in shame Serbia you could have prevented that pop based monstrosity and you didn’t.

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