Thomas Jefferson

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Another historical cunting for our American friends.

Thomas Jefferson, Author of the Declaration of Independence, Founding father and American Hero was in fact a proper fucking hypocritical hunt.

One might have wondered why this fucking Beak nosed pointy chinned cunt never abolished slavery whilst President of the USA, Fucking simple really; He had a huge farm full of slaves, cotton picking cunt eh?

Whats better is that he also was a slave fucker, He knocked up one Slave 6 fucking times; even worse the Salve concerned was his wife’s half fucking sister!!! I suppose that makes him an incestuous fucking fuck of a cunt as well.

They don’t mention that bit much do they; the philandering sister fucking cunt.

Nominated by : Ollie Burtons Grandad

Justin Welby

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Apparently, our new Archbishop likes to be referred to as Archbish of Canters. Archbish Cunters would be more like it!

Apparently the Right Irrelevant Justin Welby, Archbish Cunters, wants us to piss our taxes up the wall by increasing foreign aid. That’s foreign aid that does fuck all to help the poor and starving. Aid that goes in the pockets of despotic African cunts. Aid that buys learjets, palaces and fucking gold toilets.

God save us from arseholes like Justin the Jenerous! He who would give even more of our money to those who simply turn it around and send it to offshore accounts. Send your own money, you disgusting little man. Or better yet, empty the church coffers. You know, some of the millions invested in stocks and shares. Piety? My 15 year old Jack Russell has more compassion for the world.

The man is a total fucking cunt. A pissant of the highest water. No wonder the Church of England is seen as increasingly irrelevant and is rapidly disappearing down the toilet of life – which is frankly where it belongs.

It’s down to cunts like Archbish Cunters!

Nominated by : Dioclese (with h/t to Cap’n Ranty & Leg Iron)

Abolitionists

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Yes slavery is a good thing.

Perhaps I could have several slaves. I like the idea of disciplining them myself. A severe and sound thrashing never hurt anyone. Fucking slaves anyway.

Should be able to buy them at Tescos. I suppose them left wing hand wringing, limp wristed, bleeding heart liberals cunts would whine about equal rights for slaves. Yet they would be the first to queue up at Tescos when the new ‘slave line’ arrived. Fucking cunting hypocrites.

I think the time is ripe for the reintroduction of slavery. I think we should all write to our MP’s . We need slavery on the political agenda. And we need a slogan. What about: ‘Why burn stuff yourself when you can get your slave to do it’. Fucking catchy, eh?

Nominated by : Flaxen Saxon

Arthur Askey

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Arthur Askey was an utter and total cuntybollocks.

Hello Play Cunts!

Now I’ve nominated this cunt before. But the cunts that administer this blog decided that ‘Arthur Askey da Cunt’ wasn’t cunty enough. Cunts. I freely admit that Arthur is no evil cunt, a paedophile cunt or a cunt’s cunt.

But yet his crimes against comedy, perpetuated over many years, have led me to believe that Arthur is a big hearted cunt. Not only was he a short cunt but he got a lot shorter when they cut off his legs.

A runty, sawn off cunt; a very short and unfunny cunt- what more do you need? ‘Busy bee, busy bee, sting all the cunts and sting me as well, cos I’m a cunt’. What a total cunt. Did I forget to mention that Arthur is a cunt?

Nominated by : Flaxen Saxon

Hold on FS! Some of us found a use for the cunt!

Elvis Costello

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Elvis Costello aka D.P.Costello aka Little Hands of Concrete aka Napoleon Dynamite aka Howard Coward is a pseudo intellectual little has-been cunt who can’t sing and writes shit songs.

On 17 December 1977, Costello was scheduled to play “Less Than Zero” on Saturday Night Live; however, instead he copied Jimi Hendrix by stopping the song mid-intro, and played “Radio Radio” instead – earning himself a ten-year ban from the show, and considerable attention as an angry young man. Pretentious, copy cat cunt. Not a bone of originality in his entire body.

Called James Brown a ‘jive-assed nigger’, called Ray Charles a ‘blind ignorant nigger’. Fucking racist cunt. When asked why, he said he felt it became necessary for him to outrage these people with about the most obnoxious and offensive remarks that he could muster. Supercilious little cunt.

Hit an all time low after George Galloway used the lyrics from one of his hackneyed pieces to slag Thatcher when she died.

“When England was the whore of the world, Margaret was her madam.’Cos when they finally put you in the ground, They’ll stand there laughing and tramp the dirt down.” Crap lyric done for sensationalism. Doesn’t rhyme. Doesn’t scan. Shit. Anyone who has Galloway as a fan has to be a cunt.

He’s so fucking bad at music that in 2008 he was awarded an honorary degree of Doctor of Music from the University of Liverpool. You don’t get much shittier than that as a musician. Now he’s fucked off to America because Brits ‘don’t dig him’. Too fucking right we don’t!

‘Less Than Zero’ sums the little cunt up perfectly, I’d say

Nominated by : ChasC