Robert Llewellyn


With a heavy heart, I hereby nominate Robert “Kryten” Llewellyn as a cunt.

Liked him in Red Dwarf (although Chris Barrie was the real talent) and liked him in Scrapheap Challenge (although Lisa Roger’s arse was nicer to look at), and thought he was a genuine nice bloke. However during an appearance on Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff last year, when the phone in discussion moved onto the subject of Big Government vs Small Government, he showed the TV audience his true cuntish colours.

When a caller was expressing his concern over the growing intrusiveness of The State and the growth of surveillance, this cunt wrinkled up his nose like someone had farted under it and, in a sneering faux posh tone replied “I suppose you’d rather live in Small Government Somalia”. Concerned caller then gets quickly cut off, in true Matthew Shite fashion.

Well, Robert old son, for your information I don’t want to live in Somalia, but neither do I wish to live in a Stasi controlled State either. And a well thought out compromise between the two seems to be beyond the capabilities of our Lords and Masters and other clever people like yourselves to create, so fuck you…

Nominated by: Mr Bastard